My daughter and I were sitting in the waiting room of the Resuscitation Department. I felt a deeper and deeper aversion for myself. Yes, all the grieves and sufferings that had fallen on our family were through my fault. Hadn"t I agreed to make a trip to Russia we would have avoided all the troubles, and my Salima wouldn"t have had a heart attack. And Ramazanov wouldn"t have died either.
When I was freed from prison I was elated! I made such big plans! And how is it all going to be now? What if Salima dies? God forbid!.. Our daughter, poor girl! She calls mom crying bitterly. I don"t know how to console her. My sons also sit by her side day and night. In the morning I nearly turned them away so that they might go home and have a little rest.
I sat thinking and then asked the nurse through the the window opening if my wife had come round. She smiled sadly and nodded: "Yes!". I was so happy to hear that! Holding my daughter tight I shouted :"Hurrah!". Then I begged the nurses to let me and my daughter see Salima. One of the nurses went to talk to the doctor. Half an hour later she opened the door. I put on a white gown and walked with my daughter along the corridor into Salima"s ward. On seeing her mom the girl ran up to her hugged her and cried.
- I"ve been missing you so, mom! - she said.
Poor Salima stroke softly our daughter"s hair looking at me. She had tears in her eyes.
I came up to her and taking her hand kissed it.
- Salima, I am sorry for what happened.
I couldn"t speak, for I felt as if I had a lump in my throat.
- No, you should, apologize. It"s not your fault. It has just fallen to my lot. The main thing is that you have come back safe and sound. I only ask you, should I pass away, please look after Mukhabbat, and please bury me next to Mukhabbat-opa, that is your first wife. I am glad to have met you in my life. I have lived a happy, joyful and interesting life with you. Dadasi, I know that when my son Genghiskhan hears about my death he will turn up by all means.. Show him my grave. And there is another thing that I"d like to know... Have you paid all your debts to those people?
- Yes, I have, Salima.- I said setting her mind at rest - I have paid for their products, and I have no debts now.
- That"s good - she said - Debt is the worst thing in the world. And there is one final thing that I want to ask you about. Forty years after my departure find a good woman and marry her. I don"t want you to be alone after me.
- Salima, don"t say such things. First, you will not die. Second... even if... even then you may rest assured that I will not get married again. I belong to you and only to you... so don"t hurry to abandon me. If you go, I will follow you... I cannot imagine my life without you - I said kissing her hands, tears in my eyes.
- No, she said breathing heavily - you must live for the sake of Arabboy, Sharabbay and Mukhabbat. You must bring them up, you see?
Presently the doctor and the nurse came in. They told us to leave Salima and give her rest. Mukhabbat and I had to go, and saying our good-byes we left. Sitting in the bus on the way home I wept without restricting myself.
Before we had reached home I heard the terrible news. My Salima had died. On hearing that, I lost my balance and fell down like a cut down tree from a rock. I hugged my daughter crying:
- If only I knew that it would end up like that! I would have never come back! Why did I come here? I should have rather decayed in prison!
I howled like a wolf while Mukhabbat wept quietly.
My neighbors tried to console me but they couldn"t help it.
At this point one of the women took my daughter away from me. I looked like a werewolf
capable of assuming the form of a terrible beast that howls at moonlit night:
- Oh my Go-oo-d! Why did you give me such a strong heart! I want it to burst breaking me into pieces! I don"t want to live any more! I am tired, oh my Lord!