Анпилова Рада Владимировна : другие произведения.

Help me to deceive myself

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HELP ME TO DECEIVE MYSELF
There"s too much of the lie, there"s too much of the hurt:
I have no tears to cry, I"m frozen and I"m burnt,
Saying what I"ve never meant, I have no air to breathe...
I live like if I"m damned for freaky unknown sins,
There"s too much of the pain I haven"t yet deserved...
I want to fly away, leave further from this dirt, 
And those who are around, nor humans, neither beasts,
Make never any sound, keep crawling on their knees,
They"re living and they"re dead, they"re watchers and they"re blind...
I"ll bury in red sand their hearts and minds tonight,
I"ll tear my chains apart, fullfilling this locked church
By their poisoned blood - let it shine like a torch,
So throw me though dry leaf, awaited neeeded sign,
And help me to deceive myself another time:
Say that I"m still beloved, as saint as I"ve been,
Say that"s at last enough of miracles I"ve seen.  

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