Анпилова Рада Владимировна : другие произведения.

Unforgivable Curse

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UNFORGIVABLE CURSE
I am stading in front of the mirror,
And the scratches are covering it:
This is poison of pain, hate and fear,
I see demon, who's done it for me -
He is giving me fire in goblet
And is squeezing my hands in the claws...
Bloody sream's coming black from the scarlet,
Shadows are falling down on the cross.
Through the skin breath of demon is licking
And is strocking me, like winter cold,
This night beast knows, what my heart is seeking,
Better, than no one else in this world,
So I'm falling my knees, letting him see my tears,
And I'm asking from him only thing I must learn:
Why I can't make my wounds and my sorrow clear,
If it hurts everytime my soul, like the Christ's thorn?
Why I can't cry or laugh, why I can't touch the passion?
Why I can only live, like the God made me blind?
Why I have to forget all about compassion?
Why I can't make a choise? Why I can not decide?
Why I can't come to him and share my kept revelations?
Why I can't tell him things that I've so surely seen?
Why I can't present him chance for secret salvation,
When the death will be flying, like the wild bird, to him?
Why I can't break the prison of my freaky visions?
Why I must close my heart for the joy, hide my face?
Why I need everynight play with my death falsefiction,
And, whatever I'd do, it always starts from disgrace?
Don't be hold and stay silence, my glittering angel:
I have learned all these answers until the day I was born,
And I can't not to know that God won't give me salvation,
And I've been doomed to rush, where satire plays his horn. 
Neither time, nor the humen will never can change it,
Even when the Last Judgement will catch me in nets:
All that I still can do is nothing more but imaging,
Dreaming of the slight peace in the arms of sunset,
But this prayer won't be heard even after disaster,
As God's gift has become unforgivable curse,
So there soon will be no one alive, but my master.
And there soon will be nothing, but his magic voice. 

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