Looking at the majestic mountain and repeating that it is high -- this mountain won`t become lower, it will remain the same. Talking about the river, that it is fast, the water won`t become slower. But when you feel love and often say "I love you" - it looks like the feelings disappears, it is "spent" being turn into the words. I don`t agree with this statement and I still look for a new way of expressing my soul.
You know, I just wanna talk to you about love. My readers will think it's a ploy, a literary device, but you'll know, that it's just a letter to you, only for you. A new way to express what has already been expressed many times.
I would like to find another words, not those ones which are spinning in my head, the newest, untouched by the time and by the other people. The words that will be just ours, that will only speak about us and about what we have in common. But it seems, that in a world with Shakespeare and Pushkin it`s impossible to create something new. Forgive me for the secondary, because it is difficult to compete with the geniuses, I`ll just say what I wanted to say, as I can:
I used to have a life full of meaning and hobbies, it seemed to me that I was very self-sufficient person. I liked this situation, because I could always control my state of mind and stay in peace and tranquility. But how wrong I was! In fact, there was only emptiness and absurdity. Now, all my joy and my sense of life depend on you, and I like it madly. Like a leaf on a tree reaches for the sun, I reach to you. If the sun is shining -- the burgeon blooms. If you fill me with your presence - I become alive. It`s so strange, perhaps, to be someone's heart, but you became mine one. Only with you I`m able to live, only when we are together, I'm the man of full value.
At first I only let you control my life`s mechanism, after that you began to replace its parts and now you are completely replaced all that was before you, and only you keep my being. I'm not sure that you can take on your fragile shoulders that responsibility and if I could, I would not do this to you. But everything happened as it was, and it`s an accomplished fact. You took the main things in me, you became the goal, meaning and movement.
When I look at you, my heart overflows with tenderness, I see clearly, it is you I was waiting for so many years, it was you I was looking for all my life. I`m sure, it was meant to be from the creation of the world, I do not know how, why, here and now, but I'm sure it is.
I want to tell you how much I love you, I want the words not to be just a sound, I want you to feel it by every cell of your body and by all the strings of your soul, I want you to realize how much you means to me. I want you to feel the same as I feel.
Sometimes I look around and I think people are just afraid of becoming the halves of each other. They feel they won`t be themselves after being dissolved in another person, and what could be worse for a thinking creature than to stop being itself? But they are wrong! And it`s so weird and wonderful that when I became a part of you, I became just a whole person. And you are part of me, but you did not lose yourself. After all, the two halves are always the same one. Only together they can be themselves. I believe in it wholeheartedly.
I'm sure you'll understand what I mean, even my style of the thoughts`s expression is poor and miserable. After all, the most complex constructions can be put in those three words that are often confuse people and "spend the feelings." But I still keep saying that again, because as the mountain does not become lower, doesn`t matter, how many times to say that it is high, so the love is not running out with love confessions.