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Women's English, vs. men's English...

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Peклaмa:
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Peклaмa
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  >WOMEN'S ENGLISH
  >
  >Yes = No
  >No = Yes
  >Maybe = No
  >I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
  >We need = I want
  >It's your decision. = The correct decision should be >obvious by now.
  >Do what you want. = You'll pay for this later!
  >We need to talk. = I need to complain.
  >Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
  >I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
  >You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever >think about?
  >This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.
  >I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and >wallpaper...
  >Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there!
  >I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.
  >Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
  >How much do you love me? = I did something today you're >really not going tolike.
  >I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a >good game on TV.
  >Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
  >You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
  >Are you listening to me!? = {Too late, you're dead}
  >Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk >him until he goes to sleep?
  >I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is >important.
  >
  >
  > MEN'S ENGLISH
  >
  >I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
  >I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
  >I'm tired. = I'm tired.
  >Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have >sex w/you.
  >Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have >sex w/you.
  >Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex >w/you.
  >May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex >w/you.
  >Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
  >You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to >fondle you.
  >What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big >deal out of this.
  >What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted >psychological trauma are you going through now?
  >What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
  >I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
  >I love you. = Let's have sex now.
  >I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
  >Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
  >Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50.00 and it doesn't look that much different!
  >Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person so that you'd like to have sex with me.
  >Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. >(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home.
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