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The eleventh letter of Mizhappar of the short novel of Holder Volcano

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   The eleventh letter of Mizhappar of the short novel of Holder Volcano
   Hello, Mr. Sitmirat!
   Having carried out a historic event called "Congress", we returned to the pigsty, where the office of our party is located. leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy said:
   - Thank nature and Charles Darwin, we have food supply now! This is a good thing. But at the same time, we must learn how to save food and learn the art of survival in harsh conditions. That is, we must learn to eat raw and without feeling disgust, such as ants, spiders, worms, mantises, crickets, dragonflies, flies, butterflies, bugs , centipedes , scorpions - up to poisonous snakes . This is very important, comrades. I have a little surprise for you. When I went up to the roof of the pigsty to check whether the bird of happiness settled "Gamayun", in a three-room birdhouse with a balcony, which we built with you, instead of "Gamayun", I found a turtle dove, which we have called "musucha", and caught her. Here she is. With these words leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy pulled a live dove out of the pocket of his overcoat. Then continued:
   - I wanted to show you, comrades, you have to eat a bird to begin with, not only in the ser, but alive! Look... and learn... Having finished his speech, Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy ate a dove alive. Poor dove fluttered and flapped, fluttered from the pain, not of joy, of course. Unable to withstand such a severe test, he ran out into the street, covering his mouth, so he did not vomit. But he couldn't. How to puke if there is nothing in his stomach but air. After hour leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy got sick. He complained of severe pain in the abdomen.
   - What is it, comrade Commander? - Mamadiyar asked.
   - Hear, the Revolution started - said leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy, writhing in pain and making a face.
   - Where the revolution began, Mr. Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy? - I was surprised.
   - In my stomach, the guard Mizhappar! - said Qurumboy.
   I'll have to call the team "Ambulance", the fellow told me.
   But unfortunately, at the grave of the phone Qurumboy exhausted. To the village was far away. So Yuldashvoy climbed onto the roof of the pigsty and started calling the ambulance verbally. That's when I was firmly convinced that the most durable thing in the world, it's a man's throat. It's like a rubber band tightened, but not torn. Yuldashvoy shouted in a shrill voice for so long that finally appeared on the horizon the doctor with the nurse. As they approached, it became clear that they due to the shortage of petrol, bike. The doctor in a white coat was driving a bicycle, and a young nurse was sitting in front, on the frame. On the trunk of a large old-fashioned suitcase with the emblem of the"red cross". When they arrived, we found out that the front suitcase was made of plywood. The doctor in overcoat checked the stomach of Qurumboy using a wooden tool similar to a horn, and asked:
   - What did you eat, sir?
   The turtledove replied with leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy and groaned from the pain.
   The doctor came up to us and said in a whisper:
   - Everyone, im sorry to say. The patient had contracted Ebola. Medicine is powerless before this disease. This is an incurable, terrible plague, and it is very quickly transmitted from the patient to another person through the respiratory tract. A person who has caught this disease, intestines, and other entrails, in two hours can turn into a bloody slime. So gentlemen, you have two more hours to say goodbye to your leader.
   Hearing these words, leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy in panic cried, lying on a rusty trough for pigs in a coffin without a lid.
   We began to beg the doctor to have it checked again leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy.
   - Please, doctor, check again. We have some good potatoes, if you like. Open your suitcase. Go ahead, open it. We want to give you some of these potatoes. Nice potatoes. Grown in the fields of Chernobyl, where the nuclear power plant exploded. Very tasty potatoes. Your children Will be glad if Your wife cooks for them from this potato puree or soup - I told.
   - No, don't give me it, it's uncomfortable... - the doctor said.
   - Doctor, it's not a bribe, don't worry. It's just for you as a present, do it now - said Mamadiar. Yuldashvoy put all the potatoes in the doctor's suitcase.
   - Well, if it's a gift,I will. Thanks. Let me recheck your sick leader - the doctor said. Removing the overcoat of Qurumboy, he began to examine his abdomen. After a few minutes he smiled guiltily and said::
   - I think I was wrong, gentlemen. Your commander can be cured. Now I'm going to give him a pill, let him take it three times a day. Damn where is it, the pill... I really lost it... no, that can't be right... Ah, there. With that, the doctor, with shaking hands, took out a yellow, dirty pill from his pants pocket and accidentally dropped it. We all started looking for a pill that the doctor had inadvertently dropped. We've been looking for. Finally, we managed to find it in the straw, and we handed it to the doctor. The doctor gave this pill to Qurumboy and told him to swallow it. Qurumboy swallowed the pill and we escorted, thanking the doctor and his young nurse. They went to the bike, tied the rope to the trunk of a huge suitcase made of plywood, filled with potatoes, which I brought back from the Olympics. It turns out that we shouldn't have sent the doctor back. Because, after Qurumboy swallowed the pill, his situation deteriorated dramatically. Now he had to go to the bathroom. In the office it can not be done, you know, we strictly observe hygiene. The bathroom, where he usually went to relieve himself, was far away. Despite this, we decided to take Qurumboy there and lifting it, went to the edge of the field where could be seen a lone toilet the foreman, which he built from the glands from the barrels of pesticides to previous generations, as if building a monument. The roof of that toilet was also made of iron from pesticide barrels and attached firmly on all sides by welding to prevent boards from rotting in the rain and snow. Qurumboy went to the toilet, and we closed the door. We, like sentries, stood near the toilet. From the toilet was heard unpleasant sounds with groans the leader of our party. After two hours, if not more, the door slammed, but opened. Then there was the sound of blunt blows on it. After a few seconds Qurumboy nervously shouted:
   - Mizhappar! Yuldashvoy! Mamadiyar! Open the door, the lock must be jammed!.. We thought the Qurumboy was pulling the door in the wrong direction. It turns out our leader was actually trapped. We tried to open the door, but we couldn't. From toilet began to be heard badmouthing fellow leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy.
   - Open up! Or I will kill everyone of you? I knew it! Well, bastards! When I'm free, I'll have you all court-martialed as enemies of the people! Oh, what a naive and trusting Chairman of the revolutionary Committee I am! How I did not immediately realize that this doctor with his young nurse, who came by Bicycle with a huge front-line suitcase made of plywood, were also secret employees of the NSC! They gave me a specially expired pill to make me suffer from diarrhea. Now, locked! Open, jackals! Who are talking about?! - Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy screaming, kicking the walls of the toilet with his tarpaulin boots without soles.
   - Comrade commander, please! The lock on the bathroom door must be jammed! We unfortunately do not have the key to this lock! Sit down, we'll figure something out and develop a secret plan to save Your life! I said, calming our leader.
   - Come on, quick, you idiots! Court jesters! - said Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy.
   We Mamadiar ran towards the village, and Yuldashvoy left to hold a strategic building with Qurumboy. We ran across the cotton field without looking back. When we reached the center, there, near school, saw the crane which stood on a roadside. The driver of the crane was a good person, and he agreed to help us when we explained the situation. The driver told us to get in the cab. We got in, and the car went. Yuldashvoy waved his worn skull-cap, as it helps to navigate. We arrived, and, having tied by means of a cable, started lifting an ill-fated toilet. It was a strategic plan. We knew from the floors that were wooden and decided to release Qurumboy, breaking these boards when I raised the toilet.
   The driver was not only a good man, but also a professional of his work. He successfully lifted the iron toilet. The toilet was swinging in the air like an old fridge being thrown into the scrap. Inside the toilet nervously shouted the leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy.
   - Yes, what are you doing, bastards?! Why is the toilet swinging?! Do you send me in a container by helicopter?! - he was nervous.
   There was trouble. Wood floors toilet suddenly turned and Qurumboy fell into the pit toilet, together with fragments of boards from the old, rotten floor. We barely pulled Qurumboy from the well. After this incident, Qurumboy promised never to eat meat raw. Given the ability of Qurumboy to learn from their mistakes, I think he is also not a bad person. After all, everyone has their own character, which not everybody likes, right, Mr. Sitmrat?!
   Most importantly, leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy didn't die heroically in the toilet. Everything else is fixable.
   With respect, guard leader of our party Qurumboy Qoramoygutalin Moriqultezak Tappitutuniy, famous martial artist Mizhappar.
   September 10, 2008.
   2:07 PM.
   Village "Chapaev".
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