invalid_reality. To Love Her The Way I Do

To Love Her The Way I Do

Chapter One

Author's Notes: I needed something fresh to write and this is what happens after I drink Southern...oh, just keep in mind I haven't had this beta'd. This actually started out as an original fic and quickly turned into Fuffy just as they all do. Also, I haven't written like this in a long time, so I'm a little rusty with first person POV in present tense prose. Enjoy, would love to know your thoughts so far :)

I stare at the reflection of the moon in the water, letting my mind wander with every small rippling wave that rolls in against the old wooden dock I've been standing on for hours now since she left. How did I get here? How did I end up standing here feeling so helpless, so alone, so empty when I know she is waiting out there for me.

Somewhere. Wherever she is. Wherever her life led her to be, I know she's out there waiting for me.

And here I stand, selfish in my own right, trying to figure out the endless shit in my head to no avail. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes shut tightly and letting that warm summer wind blow past me, through me, all over me. It sends a chill through me, every inch of my body aching for hers to be right there next to me. Aching for her hand to reach out for mine, to create the warmth only she's ever created within me.

And the biggest blow to the heart--my heart--is? She doesn't even know the effect she has on me. She doesn't even know how I feel about her and sometimes I wonder if she ever will. Then again, it is Faith and anyone that knows her knows that she never shows an ounce of emotion in a way that would make her relatively human.

Cue me standing out here on the dock, feeling like a complete idiot for letting her just walk away the way she did. Childish name-calling, a few blows traded back and forth, physical on her part and emotional on mine, and she stomped out of my house like a bratty, spoiled five-year-old who wasn't getting her way. I know she knows, but does she really? All those years of tension, of confusion, of hate, of love, it all came down to this morning when she showed up at my door. She kissed me, out of nowhere it seemed, but I knew even then that it wasn't out of nowhere. This was desire deeply rooted beneath the surface of the emotionless Faith I thought I knew. This was about wanting, about taking, about having.

Want. Take. Have.

Always her motto, always the way she's lived her life, even after Sunnydale. Only now, if she didn't get what she wanted, she tried to take it and pouted me to death when she couldn't have it. It being me.

I gently run my fingers over the angry bruise on the left side of my jaw, unable to stop the smile that crept over my lips as the twinge of pain shot through me. Call it sadistic, but the pain I feel now is almost pleasurable in its own little way and only because she is the cause of it. It's only when I open my eyes do the tears begin to fall and I don't hold them back, not this time.

"Buffy?"

I turn to look at Dawn as she walks down the beaten path towards me. I thank whatever Gods, the Powers that Be, and whatever else is up there, that she wasn't here this morning when Faith had shown up. There was so much I would have had to explain and even then, I wouldn't know where to begin. I couldn't even explain what had happened between us this morning to myself. Although I do know what happened when I opened the door this morning and I do know that she had kissed me as if her life depended on it, there was so much more to it and that is why everything turned to shit in the instant that kiss ended.

I wipe away my tears before Dawn gets close enough and I put on my best `brave Buffy' face and let out a little smile as she walks along the dock towards me. I sit down before she reaches me, dipping my feet into the warm river water, letting out what feels like the millionth distressed sigh of the day. If Dawn notices anything off with me, she doesn't let it be known as she sits down next to me and hands me one of the two glasses of wine in her hands.

"Giles keeps calling," she says quietly, staring up at the sky as she sips her wine. "How long are you going to ignore his phone calls?"

"Until I feel like talking to him."

"You aren't going back there, are you?"

There is Cleveland where everyone else is, everyone but Faith, Dawn and myself. I shake my head no at that and Dawn just groans as she kicks at the water. My mind drifts back to Faith and I can't help it as that lingering warmth washes over my body at just the thought of how her lips felt against mine even though the kiss had been bruising with the force of which she'd pulled me into her. With my free hand I run it through my hair, trying to stop my hand from shaking and the tears from falling yet again.

When did everything become so complicated? Well, even more complicated than it has been? Oh right, that night she came here four months ago, drunk and stoned out of her mind. She was a blubbering mess, crying in my arms until her high wore off and she sobered up. Drunk, high Faith had no walls built up around her and it was the only time she'd ever let me in and the only time I'd ever held her without blows being traded back and forth. I remember even now how it felt, how she had felt wrapped around me on my bed even though she was shaking and almost cold to the touch that night. This is where my hopelessness began, where that alone feeling came from. And the emptiness? That came this morning and it hasn't left since.

But I know no matter where her life leads her that she is always waiting for me. I know because I saw it in her eyes when I opened the door this morning to find here standing there on the front porch. Even as tired and beaten as she looked, I still saw it. Today was only the third time in the last two years since the fall of Sunnydale that I've seen her and even though I know we'll never be friends, I've seen that longing in her eyes for something more between us, for something to be there that never really has before. I want to tell her that it is there, but I never got the chance to today. After the kiss, as abrupt as it was, ended, a realization came to her and she reacted in the only way she knows how. With her fists and her anger.

"Faith was here today," I say quietly to Dawn, not knowing why I'm bringing it up, just knowing it's all that's been on my mind and I feel like there's nothing left to do other than talk about it. Or at least try to.

"She was? Is that where the bruises came from?"

"Yeah."

"Figured," Dawn says with a forced laugh as she shakes her head and kicks at the water again. "What'd she want?"

"Long story."

"One that ended with her hitting you in the face and leaving again?"

"Yeah."

I lower my head slowly, staring down at the glass of wine in my hand I still have yet to sip. I debate for a few minutes whether or not to tell Dawn what really happened, and in the end, I decide not to. It's too complicated even if I have some of it worked out in my head. There's still denial, okay a lot of denial, but the one thing I cannot deny to myself is just how damn good it felt in those few seconds she'd kissed me and in those few seconds I'd kissed her back. That warmth I'd always craved had been there. It wrapped itself around me and sucked me in and I wanted more. I still do.

"Did you at least hit her back?"

"What are we, five?" I laugh as I raise the glass to my lips and take a tentative sip. "No, I never hit her back. I called her a worthless, selfless bitch and she left."

"Yeah, because that makes you more mature than a five-year-old," Dawn replies, rolling her eyes as she gives me a gentle nudge with her shoulder. "So, what really happened, Buffy?"

"I told you--"

"Something happened," she says without letting me finish. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that right?"

"I know."

"So?"

I let out a sigh, taking a few healthy sips of my wine to gather up what little courage I can. "She kissed me," I say finally, quietly and quickly, hoping maybe she didn't hear the words that barely escaped past my lips.

"She what?!"

Dawn pushes me off the edge of the dock, probably without realizing it. I land in the warm, murky river water and I only let out a soft groan as I pull myself back up and flick the water on my fingers at her. Dawn is stuck between complete shock and disbelief. I give her a couple of minutes, knowing that she needs to let it sink in and I'm not so sure I made the right choice in being so blatantly honest with her. She might have grown up a lot in the last couple of years, but she is still my little sister and there are just some things she probably shouldn't ever know. Like about how I feel when it comes to Faith and that, despite the denial, I want something with her. Just what exactly, I haven't quite figured it out yet.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Buffy?"

"Dawnie, language," I respond calmly as I place the now empty glass down on the dock next to me. "I am not kidding you."

"So she just what, kissed you, punched you and then left?" Dawn asks and I nod my head slowly. "That's the long story? Sounds like a pretty short one to me."

"It's complicated."

"It's always complicated with you two. You've seen her what, three times since Sunnydale and almost every time she's shown up here she's been drunk and high out of her mind on god knows what."

I know she has a point there somewhere, but it's not coming any time soon. I wonder if now would be a good time to tell her just why I was avoiding Giles' phone calls. He always called whenever Faith had come by. Of course he does call almost once a week, always trying to get me to pack up and move to Cleveland to help them out there. But it isn't where I belong. It isn't who I am anymore. There are hundreds of thousands of Slayers in the world now and this is my time. This is the time where I'm supposed to be living my life, but it feels so empty and I didn't know until this morning just why I felt so empty before. It's because she isn't in my life like I know she's supposed to be.

Dawn gives me a look like I've completely lost my mind and maybe I have, maybe my life here in this small, middle of nowhere town has sent my brain to the nuthouse and all that's left behind is less than sane Buffy. Also a pretty less than straight Buffy is left behind too considering all those thoughts that ran through my mind in the first few hours after Faith had left this morning. I bury my face into my hands, feeling the confusion filling me, filling part of the void where the emptiness had taken over.

"What do you think about all of this?"

"I don't know," I shrug as I drop my hands to my lap slowly. "I mean its Faith. I don't even know what to think about anything that has to do with her."

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

"No," I laugh, but the word felt wrong. It felt like a lie and I know that it is and I know that I have to stop lying to myself about it too. "I don't know. Is it possible to love someone you almost hate? Is it possible to love--to be in love with someone you barely even know?"

"Yes, it is. Anything is possible, Buffy. I thought you would've figured that out by now."

"You'd think so," I reply, both of us laughing as we get up from the edge of the dock and make our way to the beaten path that leads up to the house. "You aren't going to say anything to anyone about this, are you?"

"Secret is safe with me even if I don't like it," Dawn says and she flashes me a smile that tells me even though she says she doesn't like it, she is okay with it. "You better call Giles back when we get inside."

I roll my eyes as we walk up the hill to the small house that's been home for the last two years. It's nothing much, it's small, it's secluded, it has three bedrooms, one of which is empty aside from a simple bed we use whenever the others come to visit us. Its home, for now. Might even be home for the rest of my life. It's peaceful here and very rarely do vampires and demons come roaming through the town and that's okay with me. I hate using the word, but I call it early retirement. The first time Faith had come here, she laughed at me for that and told me that I wouldn't last a month without slaying. She'd been wrong which wasn't so surprising. That first time she'd came was the longest visit she had. A grand total of one full day and one full night before taking off in the morning as soon as the sun rose and long before I crawled out of bed. I heard her leave though and even then I wasn't so sure how to feel about her not even bothering to say goodbye.

There's one new message on the machine when I walk in the back door and into the kitchen. I hit the button as I open the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water as Faith's husky voice fills the room.

"Sorry `bout this mornin', B. Coming by later to talk. Still in town, couldn't leave this time. If you're sleepin' when I get there, I'm waking your ass up," she laughs and pauses for a moment before she continues. "We'll just talk when I get there. Not good at these kinda things, y'know? Shit..."

I laugh at the sound of her hanging up rather quickly and ignore the look Dawn gives me as she heads for her room. I hit the erase button and breathe in deeply; completely aware of the goose bumps all over my body that I know just isn't from being pushed into the river by Dawn. I head to my own room and shut the door behind me as I flip on the light. Slowly I peel off my wet clothes, leaving on my bra and panties as I make my way over to the adjoining bathroom. A small rustle outside the open window makes me stop and then I feel it, I feel her.

I take in a sharp breath as I turn to the window and I watch her as she climbs in, her heavy boots hitting the hardwood floor with a soft thud. I can't move from where I'm standing as I see her eyes hungrily drink me in and I wet my dry lips as she makes her way over towards me. I know from the predatory way she's looking at me that we're far from talking right now, and I don't care as a flood of arousal flows freely from me the instant her lips are on mine.

It's soft at first, taking my breath away as her hands come to rest on my bare hips. The touch is electrifying and I find that warmth I'd been craving all this time. Her hands are somewhat smooth other than the obvious callous' on her palms from the weapons she wields daily. But her touch is just as soft as the kiss. It makes my knees go weak and my hands find instantly their way into her hair, holding her there as if I was afraid she'd pull away. It's all she needed to deepen the kiss and it goes from soft and gentle to hard and wild, leaving me on a whole other level of breathlessness. I don't even try to stop the moan that escapes as she pulls apart from the kiss, both of us breathing heavily as her hands slowly move over my hips and around to my back, pulling me even closer to her as her eyes search mine for whatever answers to those questions she wasn't asking.

I move my hands from her hair and over her shoulders, slipping off the light jacket she was wearing and not taking my eyes from hers as I slipped it off and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud. I notice now as I run my hands over her bare shoulders and arms just how skinny she was now. I stop when my fingers brush over the edges of her black, tattered tank top and I lean in to kiss her, unable to stop myself, not wanting to stop myself. I know what she came here for and it definitely isn't to talk about this morning. Talking could wait until after and I can't even think about what the after is. I just want to get lost in this moment, to get lost in her, and worry about everything else later when reality comes crashing down. Presumably with her leaving and me lying in bed fighting off the tears I know will come.

She moves her hands over my back in a way that makes me shiver and I stop when she reaches the clasp on my bra and I pull back from her delectable lips with some hesitation. She wants this, she needs this, and I know I do too. We both do. No matter what happens after, this is what this morning had led towards. This is what all those years we'd known each other, fought with each other had led to, as screwed up as it may seem. I take in a deep breath and I'm suddenly very aware at how close I am to being naked in front of her. I try to shake off the nervousness I'm now feeling, knowing I have no reason to be nervous and every reason to at the same time.

"Aren't you a little overdressed?" I ask, barely recognizing my own voice.

"Right," she laughs as she drops her arms from around me and quickly takes off her shirt, slips off her boots and I stop her when she begins to unbuckle her belt.

I don't know what came over me right then, but I kissed her wantonly, my own need to take, to have becoming unbearable as my hands work on getting her belt undone and those tight black jeans off of her. She stops me, not breaking from the kiss just yet and moves my hands above my head once she'd backed me up against the wall. She holds my hands there and I moan softly as she presses her body into mine, holding me there as our tongues dance and fight, eagerly and desperately seeking out more.

I don't even know what's happening--well I do, but hello, still in denial here. I do know it feels good, it feels amazing, and I definitely want--no I need more. I need more of her lips, her tongue, her hands upon me, touching me in a way I never thought I'd ever feel again. Maybe two, nearly three years without sex was getting to me, making me cave, and as her lips trailed over my jaw, gently over the bruise she'd left this morning and down my neck, I realize that I really don't care what she does to me as long as she keeps making me feel this way.

She loosens her grip on my hands and again they find their way into her hair. I arch off the wall slightly as she sucks on my neck just below my ear and I close my eyes as I feel her hands reach behind me, unclasping my bra and pulling my hands from her hair as she slid it off. She leaned back, smirking as she dropped my bra to the floor and ran the tips of her fingers over my already achingly hard nipples that were just straining for her touch. I don't realize I'm trembling until she stops touching me and that hunger in her eyes turns to worry.

"B?" She whispers as she stares into my eyes and I feel the butterflies in my stomach come to life as she says my name.

"Don't stop."

"You sure?"

I nod my head even though I'm not completely sure, but it feels like its too late now to back out, to stop this from happening since we've already gone way past the line I know we should've never crossed. But we did. We never did do anything the normal way, or the right way. Had a feeling we never would. It's what sets us apart from everyone else and it's what makes it so hard for us to ever be friends. And now I'm starting to wonder if the reason we could never be friends is because we're supposed to be lovers. I let out a sigh, wishing there was some switch in my brain to shut off all the thoughts I'm having and I catch her smiling at me, just a little, as she smooth's the palms of her hands over my stomach, slowly moving back up to my breasts.

Her lips find mine again and my hands, feeling a lot bolder than the rest of me, reach around to unclasp her bra. She shrugs out of it, her arms instantly around me as soon as it's off. There's so much fiery passion in the kiss as she pulls me in close to her and I barely notice she's making her way over to the bed and pulling me with her until she comes to a stop and ever so gently eases me down. I pull back from her lips, furrowing my brow, wanting to ask her why she was being so soft, so gentle when I knew that it just wasn't her. She was a hard and fast, fuck and run type. I knew that even though I really don't know her.

If all of this even means something, I can't help but wonder just what it means to her. It had to mean something if she was being gentle, if not taking it a little slow compared to what she's used to. Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself and I curse my brain, willing it to stop as her lips find mine once again.

I don't stop her when her lips move away and find their way down to my aching nipples, licking the skin around each one before sucking on my left one as she slid a thigh between my legs. I don't stop her when her hand trails down my stomach lightly and leaving goose bumps in its wake. And I don't stop her when she eases her hand under the waistband of my panties and slides her fingers effortlessly over my throbbing clit, eliciting a low, feral moan I didn't realize was mine until she pulled her lips away from my nipple. She flashed me one of her cocky smirks that I have to admit always made me a little...wet.

"You wet for me, B?" She whispers and I nod my head slowly, unable to find my voice as her fingers dip lower. She slides two fingers inside of me with ease and I can't believe how wet I am and from the look in her eyes, neither can she. "Wonder how good ya taste."

"Why don't you find out?" I respond shakily, trying not to sound as scared as I feel with this whole situation. It's hard to feel scared for too long as she slowly fucks her fingers inside of me, filling me in a way I never thought only two fingers could. "God, Faith."

"Ya like that?" Faith says huskily, her voice almost pure sex as she fucks her fingers inside of me harder. "Gotta tell me, B..."

I can't say a word without a moan slipping out in its place, but it's all she needs as she trails light, wet kisses down my chest, my stomach and stops when she slides her hand out from inside my panties and makes a slow show of licking her fingers clean. My pussy is aching, dripping wet, eagerly waiting for her to continue and I think she knows, but she's teasing me.

I watch as her fingers hook around the tops of my panties and I lift up just enough for her to slide them down and takes them off. She licks her lips as she tosses them behind her and slowly spreads my legs, her eyes drinking every inch of me as I lay there spread out for her. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding as she slowly kisses her way up my inner thighs, her tongue sneaking out for a taste. I close my eyes as she slicks her fingers over my slit, moaning softly as she moves in closer and soon replaces her fingers with her tongue.

My eyes are shut so tightly now that I begin to see stars. The pleasure shooting through my body with her soft, warm, wet tongue against my clit is almost too much to handle. My hands grip the sheets as I arch my back slightly, spreading my legs wider as she dips her tongue lower, teasing my hole before she plunged it in deep. I bite my lip to keep from moaning loudly and I wish we were alone, completely alone. I gasp and grip the sheets tighter as she trails her tongue back up to my clit and fixes her lips around it, sucking hard as she slides a solitary finger inside of me.

"Faith...oh fuck..."

So much for being quiet, but I could care less as I feel the beginning of a very long overdue orgasm begin to build. It's quick, too quick, and yet I know this is far from over. This is just the beginning. She moans softly, the vibrations sending me quickly over the edge and she sucks hard on my clit, easing her finger out from inside of me as she sucks and licks at my clenching hole.

"Fuck," she says huskily as she pulls back. "Fuckin' heavenly, B."

"Mmm."

I must have been slightly dazed because when I opened my eyes, she was hovering above me and those tight black jeans she had on were gone. I let my eyes roam lazily over her body, well most of what I could see and I pulled her in for a deep kiss, not even cringing at the taste of myself upon her lips. I pull her down so our bodies are flush against one another's and everything about it felt so perfect, so right. Her body was warm and her pussy hot and wet against mine as she ground her hips down hard. The kiss was kept short and she moved her lips across my jaw, stopping at my ear and taking in a slow, deep breath.

"Touch me."

I groan as I let go of the sheets, my fingers slightly stiff from having held onto them so tightly. I suddenly don't feel as nervous or afraid as my hands roam over her back and around to her breasts. Her nipples are hard against my fingertips and I want to know their taste and how they feel with my lips wrapped around them. I try to flip us over, but she holds herself steady, not willing to give up being on top that easily. I pout as she pulls back to look down at me and I trail my right hand down between our bodies, tentatively seeing out her pussy as she lifts up a little so I could slide my hand down further.

"That's it," she encourages, biting her lip as my fingers trip over her clit, feeling how wet she is for me, because of me. "Fuck, B. Just like that."

She crushes her lips against mine as I ease a finger between her folds, dipping into her tight hole, teasing her as she had teased me before. She bit onto my lower lip and I take it as a sign just to fuck her, hard and fast. Just the way she likes it. I can feel her arms shaking as she tries to hold herself over me and I think for a moment I could use it to my advantage, flip her over and have my turn on top, but she stops me yet again and I wonder if she could read my mind.

Her hips are bucking hard, riding my hand and my fingers as I slide a second one inside of her and grind the heel of my palm against her clit. I've never done this before and yet I know I'm definitely not doing anything wrong. The moans and gasps escaping past her lips even as she kisses me deeply tell me that much and it isn't long before she comes hard and collapses partially on top of me, kissing my shoulder as she struggles to catch her breath.

We fucked all night long until the sun was about to rise and not once did she let me have the chance to be on top. Not once. I could barely keep my eyes open, my whole body aching in a deliciously good way, as I watch her get up from the bed and slowly get dressed.

The tears sting my eyes as she slips out the window without so much saying goodbye or sharing one last kiss. She leaves me feeling good, but used and she leaves me feeling exactly the way I felt when she'd left yesterday morning. Dazed, confused, and hurt.

Only this time the pain is emotional, it's deep, and it makes me realize that even if I wanted something more with her, I could never have anything more than what we'd just shared together. I let out a choked sob as I pull the sheets over me and I ignore the knock on the bedroom door as I close my eyes and try to convince myself this was all just a dream.

A really fucked up dream.

Chapter Two

Author's Notes: Been busy packing/moving all last week so I haven't been able to find any time to write. The updates will likely slow right down, I'm back to work tomorrow and my girl is gonna get pissed if I spend more time writing than with her....lol

I don't even know how long I stayed in bed, but when I finally got myself together and crawled out of bed to shower and get dressed, I could hear her in the kitchen talking quietly to Dawn. My heart was racing and aching at the same time as I wrap the sheets around me and walk over to the door. I open it just a crack to listen, unable to pick up on just what they are saying. I take in a deep breath, steadying myself, calming myself as I let the sound of her voice flow through me.

I'm about to close the door when I hear her walking down the hallway towards my room. I step back as she knocks softly on the door before opening it slowly. She's still wearing the same clothes she'd had on last night and that she left in, but she still looks as beautiful as she'd always been. Maybe even more so now that we'd shared something so intimate together. She looks nervous and I step back to let her walk inside and she doesn't look at me until she shuts the door behind her.

"Hey," she says all nonchalantly, her voice making my whole body quiver. "Thought we could talk since we didn't, y'know, get to that last night."

"Can I get dressed first?"

"Little too late to be gettin' all shy on me now, B."

I feel myself blush as I make my way over to the closet door where my robe is hanging on a hook. I quickly drop the sheet as I slip on the robe and before I have the chance to close it and tie the belt together, her hands are sliding over my hips and over my stomach slowly. I'm still a little tender. She's not exactly gentle after fucking for a couple of hours. All good pain. I can't even hide the fact that her touch turns me on, as simple as it is.

I know she's all about sex, that's all she's ever been about, and I'd be fooling myself if I tried to make it more than that. I can't deny how good it feels with her hands roaming freely over my stomach as she pulls me back into her. Even through her clothes and the thin material of my robe, I can feel the heat of her body and it takes me back to last night and the fresh memories of how she felt flush against me. I stop her when her left hand reaches down and gently cups my tender pussy and I pull her hands away from me as I turn around and hold the robe shut.

"That's not exactly talking, Faith."

"Never been one to talk much."

I sigh as I sit down on the bed and I look up at her and she's smirking as she crosses her arms over her chest and just stares down at me with that predatory look in her eyes like she had last night when she climbed in through the window. I know talking is pretty much a lost cause with Faith, especially when she only has one thing on her mind. But we have to talk and I know she knows we do. It's what she came here for. Twice.

"So," I start, wondering if she's waiting for me to be the one to bring it all up first. "How come you...when you came here yesterday, how come you kissed me?"

"Dunno. Felt right."

"And last night?"

"Had to find out what it's like to be with ya, B. Ain't nothin' more to it."

"Really?" I ask, not believing her for a second. "Is that all it was? Just a fuck?"

"Always is."

I want to smack her with the way she's grinning down at me, but I don't. I promised myself I would never lay a hand on her in that way ever again once we left Sunnydale behind. I stand up from the bed and step close in front of her and I see she's a little uneasy with me getting into her personal space when she hasn't initiated it first.

"I thought you don't come back for more?" I ask softly as I take one of her hands in mine and she surprisingly doesn't resist.

"I don't," she replies, but she doesn't sound so sure of herself. "But it's you, B. Can't just have ya once and expect that ache to disappear."

Maybe it is more than just sex and she doesn't see it that way just yet. I try not to get my hopes up. It'll only end up breaking my heart in the end if I do. I keep telling myself not to fall for her, but I know I already have. I think I'm seriously going to have to re-check my sanity. And my sexuality.

I don't even think twice as I move her hand between my legs, biting my lip as she cocks her head to the side looking slightly amused and slightly turned on by the boldness I'm showing now. She's gentle and it's almost as if she knows how tender I still am from last night. I keep my hand over hers as she rubs my clit slowly and with my other hand I pull her in for a kiss, needing to feel her lips and tongue against my own. She's hesitating today, but I don't let that stop me as I deepen the kiss, sucking on her tongue as she slides a finger between my folds, teasing my hole for a second before thrusting her finger deep inside.

I want to touch her too. I want to make her feel the way she's making me feel and it takes me a moment to push the haze of arousal from my mind and I move my hands to her belt. I get her belt undone and pop the button on her jeans as she breaks away from the kiss. She's panting heavily, waiting for me and I manage to push her tight jeans down just a little and I nearly shove my hand inside, feeling her warmth nearly scorch my fingers as I dip them between her wet folds.

"Easy, B," she whispers huskily and bites back a moan. "Ya fucked me nice `n good last night. Still kinda sore."

God, I never realized how sexy she sounds when she has that husky burr to her voice. If I was already wet, it made me wetter, and I think she noticed too. She almost whimpered for a moment there and it made me shiver in anticipation of a repeat of last night. Maybe she's rubbing off on me. Maybe this is all I want is the sex. I can't deny that it's definitely the best I've ever had and no, I'm not just saying that because it's been two, almost three years. Faith definitely knows how to touch, how to push every one of my buttons and push me over the edge again and again.

I pull her back in forcefully for another kiss, trying to quiet our moans since I know Dawn could hear us if we get too loud. That's the last thing I need right now. I push those thoughts from my mind, focusing just on Faith. She tries to push me back onto the bed, but I don't let her as I stand my ground as best as I can, not wanting to take it that far right now.

"We still have to talk," I say once I find it in myself to pull back from her lips. "We really need to talk, Faith."

"I know," she whispers across my lips and it sends a series of shivers throughout my body. "Just wanna fuck ya right now, B."

My fingers fuck her in time with hers buried deep inside of me and its over far too quickly and I feel like falling back on the bed, pulling her with me and basking in the afterglow, but I can't move from where I am and I don't think she can yet either. I hesitantly pull my hand out from the warm confines of her pussy and her tight panties as she does the same. I pull the robe closed, unable to meet her eyes as I sit down on the edge of the bed heavily.

I feel like such a whore right now and I know how this would look to anyone else. They'd think the same thing. I know it takes two to fuck, but I've never just fucked someone and no, I'm not including Spike in that because that was different. I know we have to talk right now and even if she doesn't want to, I'm still going to try. I've got no other choice, right? I know if I left it up to her, we'd just fuck and have a very long repeat of last night. Despite what my body is telling me--that it wants just that--I keep telling myself that we really do need to talk right now and I know I'm the one who has to start.

"Where've you been the last couple of months?" I ask her, my curiosity getting to the better of me.

"Around."

"Faith..."

"What, B? Giles has me going all over the fuckin' place half the time and the other half the time I just need to be off on my own."

"You know you don't have to do whatever Giles wants you to do."

"No," she sighs as she sits down next to me, "but it feels like the right thing to do. Help out when he needs me to. What else am I supposed to do? Retire like you have?"

I lick over my kiss swollen lips, facing away from her since I can't quite look at her right now. She does something that surprises me. She reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers gently, saying nothing as she waits for me to look back over at her or for me to say something. Anything. So I do all I can right now and I shake my head no, not sure what to say to her now.

"You miss it, don't you?"

"Miss what?" I ask her even though I know exactly what she's talking about.

"Slayin'."

"No."

"Stop lying' to yourself, B. It's what you're made for. You just gave up and for what? To have a normal fuckin' life? What kinda joke is that?"

I let go of her hand and scoff as she gets up from the bed. I just watch her as she walks over to the dresser and runs her fingers over the stake sitting on top. I can tell she recognizes it as her own. She did carve it during that first visit here and she'd left it. I'm even willing to bet she's a little surprised that I did, but I can't see her face and her body language has always been so hard to read. This isn't what we need to talk about either, but I have to constantly remind myself that this is Faith and we've had all but two serious conversations in the seven years since we met.

I feel uncomfortable now as I sit here in my robe. I need to shower and I definitely need to get dressed before anything else happens between us. Just as I'm about to get up, Faith turns around and leans against the dresser and stares right over at me. I let myself just look at her, only for a moment, and I realize just how damn beautiful she is when she lets that cocky, sexual bravado slip away.

Dawn was right. I do love her. I loved her then, too. I loved her when I hated her, how crazy is that? I laugh at myself as I get up from the bed and I watch Faith as her eyes burn into me as I make my way across the bedroom floor. She doesn't say a word until I reach the door that leads to the bathroom and even then it's whispered so quietly I almost think my ears are playing tricks on me.

"You know why I came back this time, B? Cos after yesterday morning I realized somethin'. Realized that I'm fuckin' in love with you. Crazy, ain't it?"

I close my eyes as I just hold onto the doorknob. I know I should say something, tell her I feel the same, but I don't. I can't. At least now I don't feel like such a slut now and just that thought makes a small laugh escape.

"Knew you'd laugh at me for that," she mutters under her breath and it makes me turn around to look at her. "It's stupid, ain't it? Fallin' in love with ya when I barely even see ya anymore."

"I wasn't laughing at you," I say quietly, my hand still on the doorknob, unable to let go. "This is just...this is too much to process right now, Faith. Too much has happened since yesterday morning and I just--"

I'm cut off by her lips on mine. I didn't even realize how close she'd gotten in the last half a minute. I could kiss her forever, honestly I could. The way her lips feel is pretty close to what heaven feels like. She's kissing me deeply, passionately, and it's making my knees go weak. Every inch of my body is buzzing as she pulls me in closer, her hands finding their way inside my robe and around to my back, exposing most of my naked body to the warm morning air coming in through the window. I have to stop her from going any further. Her saying that she's in love with me is finally starting to sink in and it's making me feel afraid of what'll happen if we don't talk about this now.

She looks confused when I push her away. I want to reach out and run my fingers over her furrowed brow, but I don't. It seems a little too intimate of a touch right now and I can't risk it. Not with Faith. Everything about her is completely unpredictable. It's just the way she's always been and I can't expect that to change. I can't expect anything when it comes to Faith. I made my peace with that years ago.

Her hands are still on me, her fingers gently stroking my back and it sends little shockwaves through my body. My hands rest on her shoulders and I move them slowly to the back of her neck, feeling her muscles ripple under the touch. The silence is heavy between us and the only sounds is the sounds of our breathing as we stand there staring deeply into one another's eyes. I wonder if she knows that her eyes say everything she's not. I wonder if she knows how easy it is for me to get lost in them when she lets her walls down. I wonder if she knows how I feel about her too because I'm not feeling as brave as to tell her just yet.

I pull her in for another kiss, unable to resist those delectable lips of hers. I love the way they feel, how warm and soft they are against my own. I love the way she kisses me when it isn't bruising. Then again, after last night, I know I like it hard and fast with her just as much as I like it soft and slow. I'm still a little surprised she can be gentle, but she is a woman and just because she's all about sex doesn't mean she doesn't know how to--dare I think it--make love.

Thinking about it made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I try not to think about what everyone else would think if they only knew what was happening between Faith and I. It's not a relationship, I don't think. Maybe it's the start of one, I really don't know anymore. I can't even think straight--literally--and she's sending me into a tailspin of confusion that I never felt before.

"The last time I was here," she says once the kiss ends between us. "The last time, I was so fucked up, B. I don't even remember coming here, I just remember you holdin' me and how fuckin' good it felt--how good you made me feel. Ain't never let anyone just hold me like that before, B. Definitely opened my eyes to a lot of shit too."

"Like what?"

She laughs as she shakes her head and I wait patiently for her to speak, for her to open up to me. I might not know her as well as I want to, but I know how hard it is for her to open up about her feelings, about the things going through her head. It's hard for me too. Always wondered if it was a Slayer thing, the aloneness we feel. Thinking about that brings me back to the talk we had in my room shortly before we fought the First and its army of Turok-Han. It was the first time she ever really opened up to me about herself.

"I can't be who I've been my whole life anymore," she says finally, her fingers still stroking my lower back idly as she lets out a deep breath. "I just can't do it anymore, Buffy."

"Do what?"

"Be who I was, who I am," she says quietly. "A cold, heartless, worthless, selfish bitch."

"You aren't."

She shrugs and I see the tears in her eyes. It breaks my heart just a little to see the internal struggle she's going through. The self-hate is strong in her and I can feel it. It makes me want to kiss her, tell her everything she thinks about herself isn't true. The change in her is drastic and I don't know how to take it right now.

"You don't know me, B."

"I want to."

"Why?"

"Because everything is different now," I reply softly, smiling just a little as she does too. "It's never going to go back to the way it was before."

Faith doesn't say anything as she drops her hands from me and steps back to put a little bit of space between us. I know she knows now what kind of effect she has on me. She has to. After last night and now, she has to. I was wrong about her. She does show her emotions but in a way that you have to know how to look for them to see them. I'm starting to see the depth in her and I want to know everything about her. I want to know more than what I found out last night, I want to know more than just how to touch her, to make her come over and over again. I want to know everything there is to know about her and only if she'll let me.

I watch as she twitches slightly and slips back into her old self. She smirks at me as she licks over her lips, growling softly as she grabs me and pulls me over to the bed. My head is spinning now with all this back and forth that's been going on between us since she came in here. My body isn't listening as it lets her gently slide my robe off. I close my eyes as she lays me down on the bed and I open them just in time to watch her as she strips out of her clothes. I can feel my heart racing wildly out of control as I lick my lips in anticipation as she crawls over the bed and settles between my legs that spread willingly for her.

"I just want this with you," she whispers against my lips.

"I do too."

"I don't know what it means yet, Buffy."

I try not to cringe at the sound of my full name coming from her. I know it doesn't make any difference whether she calls me B or Buffy, but it's just the way she says it sometimes that makes my heart flutter and my body ache for her touch, a touch I now know and crave.

"If I tell you it doesn't have to mean anything, what would you say?"

"I'd call ya a whore," she chuckles softly as I reach up to tuck her hair behind her ears. "But you'd be my whore."

I should care that she thinks that way about me and I don't. It's sweet in only a way it could be because it's Faith. I smile at her, holding back a moan as she rolls her pussy into mine. Her lips are all over my jaw and neck as I wrap my legs around her, trying to hold her right where she is. My hands grip onto her back, digging into the skin as she licks up my neck and plunges her tongue deep inside my mouth. Her raw sexual nature is itching to come out and I can feel it with every thrust she makes, with every gasp that escapes past her lips and against mine. I want her to take me hard and fast. I want to scream her name over and over again until my throat is raw and my voice is strained.

But I can't and I know she's holding back. She slows as she pulls back from the kiss and I can see the light sheen of sweat forming near her hairline. Her body feels tense against mine and I gently rub her back, urging her on, urging her to let go. She bites her lower lip as her eyes dart back and forth, never quite meeting mine as she keeps her thrusts steady. I can feel that I'm getting close, but she's far from it and I know that's why she's holding back. I push her slightly and she lets me roll us over until I'm on top and suddenly that bold feeling I had for a moment there is gone and I'm all sorts of nervous, never having gotten the chance to take the lead last night with her.

What am I doing? Who am I kidding? I'm not a top, especially not with Faith. She just grins at me and there is a softness in her eyes I almost mistake for compassion and understanding. Her hands are now gripping my hips and she helps me find a rhythm that satisfies us both. My arms are shaking as I try to hold myself up a little and I close my eyes as a small orgasm floods through me.

Faith has a look of pure pleasure on her face as she closes her eyes and relaxes beneath me. I use this to my advantage and begin to kiss and suck on her neck, loving the taste of her skin as I slowly move down her body, letting my own slide against hers and creating delicious friction between us. She threads her fingers through my hair and I lift my head before I reach her hard nipple and I know what she wants me to do. I get very nervous seeing how I never did that last night either. She wouldn't let me and now she wants me to? What kind of screwed up lesbian logic is that?

I shake it off and dip my head back down, wrapping my lips around her dusky pink nipple. I suck gently and nibble at the small bud, and she moans softly, her hands moving to my shoulders and she gripped rather hard. She tried to push me down but I held my own, staying right where I was and only moving to her other breast to shower it with the same affection. I can feel her pussy against my stomach, warm, wet, and waiting for me. She's bucking her hips slightly, trying to garner some friction and I lift up slightly, denying it to her. For now.

I grow stock still as I hear Dawn in the kitchen washing up the dishes from yesterday, but Faith rubs my shoulders, encouraging me to keep going without actually trying to force it. It takes me a minute or two to gather up whatever courage I have left and I lightly kiss my way across her taut stomach, stopping at her bellybutton and dipping my tongue inside. She's sensitive there, really sensitive and it makes her moan and whimper.

"Fuck, B...ya gotta stop teasin' me."

I don't answer her as I nibble the skin around her bellybutton and she raises her hips again and I feel her pussy brush against my left breast. My breath hitches in my chest as I move lower and she spreads her legs wider for me as I trail my lips over her hipbone and come to a stop when I reach the top of her closely trimmed strip of hair. I breathe in deeply and hold back a moan. Her scent is musky, yet sweet and it makes my mouth water and my tongue urge for a taste.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I breathe out softly once I'm level with her pussy.

"Sure ya do," she replies, her voice thick with her Boston accent and huskier than I ever remember it sounding. Even last night. "Just do what feels right, B."

I take another deep breath before I place a single, soft kiss just above her clit and let my tongue tentatively slip out, dipping in for a small taste. I can almost feel her clit throbbing against my tongue as I languidly lick over it and her hands are instantly in my hair, gripping the back of my head and holding me there as if she knew I was about to pull away. Her grip is firm and her thumbs are softly stroking the nape of my neck as she tries to patiently wait for me to continue.

I use my fingers to spread her as I trail my tongue down lower, drinking her up and finding it hard to hold back the moans that are now escaping with every lick. There's no way I can be in denial anymore. Not after last night and especially not now. She's moaning softly and I look up at her as I wrap my lips around her clit and suck hard. seeing and hearing her react to what I'm doing to her is making me so wet as I let my other hand fall between my own legs, gasping as I finger my own clit in time to my tongue flicking over hers.

I feel her lean up and she moans a little louder as she watches me. I close my eyes and try to breathe as I move my mouth away from her slowly. I let out a small breath and she bucks her hips up as the warm air hits her wet pussy. She's biting her lip again and I try not to get distracted by how goddamn sexy she looks right now. I watch her for a moment as she moves her right hand and pinches her own nipple, moaning yet again as I slide a finger slowly inside her hot, wet hole. I move my lips to her inner left thigh and suck on the skin there, marking her since the need to do just that had been a little overwhelming.

"Fuck, Buffy. Just like that," she groans as I slide a second finger inside of her.

I don't know what to say or if words are even possible to come out of my mouth right now. I nibble around the love bite I just gave her before moving back to her pussy. I watch as I thrust my fingers in and out of her, watching with each thrust how her whole pussy would quiver and suck my fingers back inside. I bite my lower lip as I look up at her.

"Use your tongue, B," she demands as she stares down at me, her eyes so dark as they penetrate into mine.

I slowly remove my fingers and I lick them clean, my eyes never leaving hers until I lower my lips back down to her pussy and lick along her slit. I spread her open again and plunge my tongue deep inside of her. I stop fingering my own clit and use my hand to hold her hips down as I piston my tongue in and out of her furiously, feeling her inner walls clenching rapidly. I move my hand away from her hip and use my thumb to circle her clit, feeling her getting closer and closer to slipping over the edge with every passing second.

She pulls me up as soon as her orgasm hits her and she pulls me down to her lips for a crushing kiss. She's shuddering as she holds me close and I pull back from the kiss, smiling lazily at her as she pants and moans softly.

"Fuck, for someone who didn't know what they were doin', ya sure know how to get a girl off."

I smirk as I plant a light kiss on her lips before I roll off of her, breathing heavily as I feel a small bead of sweat roll between my breasts. She turns onto her side and she trails her fingers over my stomach and over my breasts, smiling over at me as I turn to look at her. I lick over my lips slowly, still tasting her and I smile right back at her as I try not to think of just what this all means.

"How long are you staying for?" I ask, needing to know now before she just gets up and leaves without saying goodbye.

"How long ya want me to stay for?"

I want to tell her I never want her to leave, but it feels too soon to say the words forever to her. I take a few deep breaths and concentrate just on the feel of her fingers tracing random patterns over my stomach and on the undersides of my breasts and I swallow the lump in my throat as I try to figure out how to answer that.

"You can stay however long you want to stay, Faith."

"Cool," she says easily, leaning in for a light kiss. "Ya mind if I use the shower, B?"

"Not if I can join you," I reply coyly and she only laughs as she pulls me off the bed with her and heads straight for the bathroom door.

How different it feels now than when she left me before. I don't feel confused, at least not as much as I did and I don't feel hurt, not anymore. But I still feel used. A good used if there is even such a thing. Everything I've thought of in the last day and night seems to be turning itself around on me. What had been a fact was now just hanging up in the air, no real truth behind any of it. Except for when it came to the whole want, take, have motto I know she takes a little too seriously at times.

But at least she isn't the only one living by that motto. I think I am now too. I just hope she stays for longer than a day. After everything that's happened, I don't think I'm ready to let her go just yet.

Or ever.

Chapter Three

Author's Notes:

Dawn doesn't look too happy when we finally emerge from the bedroom just after noon. She doesn't say a word to either of us as she leaves the kitchen. I know she's heading into town just as she usually does every day. Faith goes straight to the fridge and I grab a clean mug out of the cupboard and pour myself a much needed cup of coffee.

"You don't got much food in here, B."

"No?" I say as I turn to look at her. "Right. I was supposed to go shopping yesterday. Completely forgot about it."

Faith laughs as she closes the door and she walks over to me and wraps her arms around me from behind. "Do ya see what you're doing to me, B? Got me stayin' and acting all loved up and shit."

"You say it like it's a bad thing," I reply, smiling as I turn to look at her. "It's a very good thing."

"I know. I gotta run out to the motel in town, grab my stuff."

"Now?"

She nods as I turn around in her arms and kiss her softly. I don't want to let her go and I have to admit I am a little afraid she might not come back if I do. She lets out a soft sigh as she pulls back from the kiss and she smiles at me, her dimples on full display and making my heart melt just a little. Her hands move from my waist to my ass and she gives it a little squeeze as she pulls me in closer to her. I lean in to kiss her again, but she stops me.

"I won't be long, B. Ya want me to stop and grab some food on the way back?"

"Sure, if you want."

"Gotta eat, right?"

"I can think of something else I'd rather eat."

Faith laughs as she drops her hands from me. "Your fuckin' funny sometimes, B."

I can't stop smiling, not even after she leaves. My emotions have done a complete one-eighty from the other night and I can't believe the way I feel is because of her. I take my coffee with me and I head down to the dock. The sun is hot, the air is sticky, but it never bothers me. I sit down on the edge of the dock once I slip off my shoes and I dip my feet into the warm water.

I hear a car pull up in the driveway almost an hour later. I don't move from where I'm sitting and I only turn to look up at Faith as she heads down the path towards me. She doesn't say anything as she pulls off her boots before she sits down next to me. She stares out over the water with a smile on her face and I just know she hasn't been able to stop smiling just like I haven't been able to either. She doesn't look like she's in much of a mood to talk, so I don't say a word as I lay back on the dock, soaking in the hot sun and suddenly itching to go for a swim.

She must have read my mind because when I open my eyes and look over at her, she's stripping out of her clothes rather quickly. She stretches out and my eyes roam over her perfect body and she winks at me as she jumps off the dock and into the water. By the time I manage to strip out of my own clothes, she's already out in the middle of the river, waiting for me. The water is a relief from the hot sun as I jump in and swim over towards her. It's not deep, not even in the middle, but I can barely touch the bottom.

"It's nice here," she whispers as she wraps her arms around me. "Kinda know why you wanna stay here instead of coming to Cleveland."

"I like it here. It's peaceful."

"And secluded. Don't you ever get bored here?"

"Sometimes," I shrug as I wrap my legs around her waist. "It doesn't bother me. I always find something to do."

"What's the story with Dawn? How come she stays here with you?"

"I don't know, she just does I guess because she wants to be around family and I'm pretty much all she has right now. She is planning to go to Cleveland though at the end of the summer, though. Giles offered her a place to stay while she goes to college."

"And you're gonna stay here?"

I nod my head and I wonder what she's getting at right now. I know she doesn't stay in one place for too long and she rarely goes to Cleveland. At least that's what Willow told me the last time I talked to her. I wonder if she ever wants to just settle down, stay in one place for a little while. I want to ask her to stay here with me, but I know I have to be careful. I don't want to push her away. I know I have to give her time and her space that I know she always needs.

Everything about this between us feels far too fast, but it really doesn't bother me when I see the way she keeps looking at me. All I want to do is kiss her and I wonder why I'm holding myself back right now. I want to make this more than just about sex and I think that maybe she does too. It's hard to be certain and I'm not so sure how to talk about it with her just yet even though I know she's falling in love with me.

"Bought some steaks for later," she says after what feels like forever has passed with us just staring into each other's eyes. "Picked up a few other things too."

I guess that means she's staying, at least for today. I just smile at her and pull her in for a kiss. It's short and sweet and it ends far too quickly. My eyes slide shut for a moment as she smooth's her hands over my ass before she lets me down and we head back to the dock. We grab out clothes and run up to the house and I mentally have my fingers crossed that we don't run into Dawn before we make it to my room. As soon as the door is shut behind me, her lips are on mine and she's pulling me towards the bed.

"Faith...we should stop."

"Somethin' wrong, B?" She asks as she stares at me. I shake my head no then shrug. "It's not just about sex," she says softly as she wraps her arms around me. "Gotta say though, the sex is definitely amazing. Can't go more than five minutes without wanting to..."

She thrusts her hips towards mine and I let out a soft groan when I feel her pussy grinding against mine. I want her to take me hard and fast, throw me down on the bed and fuck me the way I know she wants to. She is holding herself back and I can see it, but I say nothing as I pull her in for another kiss. How we got from where we started to here, I'm not so sure, but it's not like I'm in any position to complain. That ache I've felt for far too long disappears whenever she touches me.

I pull her down onto the bed with me, my lips never leaving hers. It's not just about sex. Right. Sure is looking that way now. I moan as she breaks away from the kiss and it takes me a moment to open my eyes and I find her staring down at me with a coy smile curling over her lips. How can this be about love? How can we love each other when we really don't know each other? Am I just in love with the idea of her, with the idea that she's my other half? Faith chuckles softly as she kisses my forehead softly.

"Whatcha thinkin', B?"

"How I...how we can..."

"Love each other?" Faith asks and now I'm really starting to wonder if she can read my mind. "I dunno, B. One of those things ya just can't explain, I guess."

"Why do you love me?"

"Just do, B."

It's not enough for me, but I get where she's coming from. Sometimes you do just love someone just because. There's never any real reason why, it's just everything about them that makes you love them and I wonder how she could love me after the way I used to treat her. Like she was nothing. We're past that now; we've been past that for a while now. I still don't think I've properly apologized to her for everything that happened in the past, but I'm keeping in mind what Willow had told me before about just letting the past go and think of the now.

And if the now is just about sex with a mix of love, I'll take it.

I can't say anything else to her since talking feels foreign upon my lips. After last night, we can communicate in a different way, a way I think is the one way we'd never tried to before. It bothers me that I can speak her language--sex--but she can't speak mine with actual words. Well, she can, but I can see how much of a struggle it is for her. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that it takes me a couple of minutes to realize she's gently grinding her pussy into mine as she stares deeply into my eyes.

She eases a hand between us and her fingers dance across my clammy skin. I spread my legs a little more for her as she eases a finger over my clit, touching me just right, just the way I need to set the floodgates open. I want to kiss her, but I need to watch her. Her face is a mix of concentration, lust, love, and a whole other set of emotions I haven't quite figured out when it comes to Faith. I run my hands over her shoulders and down her back, watching as she momentarily closes her eyes and stills her fingers. It's almost as if my touch has the same effect on her as hers does to me. Who knew that sex with Faith would be almost spiritually enlightening?

She's barely breathing as she eases a finger inside of me and I feel my whole body tense for just a moment before I relax and let the pleasure take over me. It never felt like this with anyone else I know for certain that it never will. It's Faith. She sure doesn't lie when she says she has `mad skills'. I try not to chuckle at that and she's looking at me, amused.

"Whatcha thinkin' now, B?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," I barely manage to get out between small gasps and groans.

She thinks about it for a minute, shrugs and kisses me softly. I can feel the smile curl across her lips before she pulls back, her finger sliding in and out of me with ease. I still can't believe how wet she gets me and as she slides her finger out and brings her hand to her lips, slowly licking each one, I know she can't still believe it either.

I pull her in for a deep kiss, tasting myself on her lips as I sweep my hands down her back and come to a rest on that perfect ass of hers. I grind her into my thigh, raising my own hips as she places her thigh between my legs. She's completely soaked, slicking my skin as we kiss furiously, unable to break apart to catch a much needed breath. The bed starts creaking as Faith grinds harder, and I can't hold it in anymore and let the moans slip out with every gasp of breath I manage to take without breaking away from the kiss. Every inch of our bodies is touching, slipping against each other's and I can feel myself creeping closer to the brink of a rather intense orgasm.

They are always intense with Faith. I figured that out last night.

I freeze when I hear the front door slam and I know Dawn is home now, but Faith keeps going with no intent to stop until she comes. At least I managed to shut the door behind us and I hope to hell that Dawn doesn't come in here. I know she knows what happened between Faith and I last night since we weren't exactly quiet. Faith breaks away from the kiss, her lips trailing over my jaw and down my neck slowly. She bites at the skin near my pulse point and it's all over for me. I come hard, unexpectedly at that, and she's not that much further behind me.

"Fuck, B..." she moans into my ear as she collapsed on top of me. "How is it I get so fuckin' spent with you and it ain't ever been like that with anyone else?"

"Because it's me," I answer easily, smiling as she lifts her head to look into my eyes. "And you aren't spent yet, Faith. Give it five minutes and you'll want to..."

She laughs and it runs through my whole body, sending little shockwaves through me as I come down from my high. I never heard her laugh like this with me until last night and I wish that I had known this side of her years ago. I wouldn't say right from day one, things were complicated then and they still technically are. We just grew up, grew apart and came back together and now...now everything has changed. I've changed and she has too, or at least she wants to.

As soon as I hear the radio blasting pop music in the living room, I know Dawn will leave us be. I let out a relieved sigh and Faith moves off to the side, her leg draped over mine and her fingers idly tracing over my stomach. It's far too hot and with Faith's body heat and mine, it's hotter than it seems and yet all I feel is a pure feeling of bliss with every breath I take. I want to shut up the part of my brain that is telling me this won't last, that it can't last because it's Faith. She'll stay the rest of the day, the night, and be gone in the morning. And if she doesn't leave as expected, then I'm definitely going to be in the shock of my life.

We just lay on my bed together for the longest time and she's the first to move, mumbling under her breath about needing some water. I scramble out of bed knowing she'd walk out there naked thinking Dawn was still out and I toss her a pair of shorts and a tank and she lets out a laugh and puts them on without saying a word. I lay back on the bed, watching her as she makes her way to the door and she turns to look at me, a mix of confusion and happiness showing in her eyes before she walks out, making sure she closes the door behind her.

Despite it being the middle of the afternoon, I sudden feel this strong urge to go out and slay. Maybe it has something to do with Faith being here, maybe it's the fact that I'm so far from done with her, whatever it is, I can't say I'm complaining. That urge is like a drug since it's few and far between now. I hear Faith and Dawn laughing in the living room and as much as I want to get up and join them, I really cannot move right now. I guess it's good the two of them get along now; for the most part it seems like anyway.

"B, ya hungry?" Faith yells out and I groan as I reluctantly pull myself out of bed and throw on some clothes. "Buffy?"

"I'm coming," I say as she opens the door. "And yes, I'm hungry. Starved actually."

"Got Dawn to throw on the barbecue for the steaks," she says as she wraps her arms around me and plants a sweet kiss on my lips that takes me a little bit by surprise. "She wanted to know why I'm wearin' your clothes."

"What'd you tell her?"

"Nothin'," she laughs and she doesn't drop her arms from around me just yet. "Ain't none of her business, right?"

"Right," I nod, smiling as she leans in for another sweet kiss. "Did she say anything about us?" I ask once she pulls away slowly.

"Ya really think your lil sis is gonna wanna hear about her sis' lesbian adventures?"

I laugh at that as she steps away. "I'm not a--"

"Right," Faith laughs as she rolls her eyes and I follow her down the hallway to the kitchen. "Ya ate me out and we fucked how many times last night and today? I think that makes ya a rug muncher, B."

"Way too much information," Dawn groans as she walks in the back door. "Seriously, way too much information. Thanks."

I'm blushing and I turn to look away from Dawn, finding it impossible to meet her gaze. I could see Faith grinning as she pulls open the refrigerator door. I look over as she pulls out two bottles of beer and I wonder when the hell they got there, then I have remember this is Faith and if she's planning to stay a little while there needs to be some alcohol in the house to satisfy that thirst of hers. She offers me one and I take it, ignoring the glare I know Dawn is giving me.

I follow both of them outside and the barbecue we hardly use is already on. There are three potatoes wrapped in tinfoil and three rather big steaks sitting on a tray ready to be put on. I crack open the beer and lean against the deck railing and I watch as Faith throws the steaks on the grill. Dawn is glaring at me and I'm trying so hard to ignore her. She's probably trying to figure out how things progressed so quickly between Faith and me. And she's probably trying to figure out how, in the last couple of days, everything about myself has done a completely one-eighty.

I have this urge to walk over to Faith, to kiss the pout that just formed on her lips when she realizes that the tongs she has in her hand is broken. But I don't. I stop myself. I wait until Dawn goes inside to find another before I walk up next to her and casually slide my hand around her back. The heat from the barbecue doesn't even touch the heat I can feel between us and she turns to me, looking frustrated and angry as she throws the broken tongs towards the grass.

"Did ya know those were broken?"

"No."

"Are ya lying to me, B?"

"No. We never use the barbecue."

"Then why do ya have it?"

I shrug and I lean in for a soft kiss, letting my lips linger just for a moment. "Don't know, really," I say when I pull back. "Xander bought it the last time he came to visit. Said something about living in a place like this we can't just not have one."

"Makes sense. I like his logic. Good man," Faith chuckles and she pulls me in for another kiss. She slips her tongue past my lips and the instant she does, Dawn comes back outside and I push her away. "Jesus, B. Ain't like she fuckin' cares her if sis is getting some tongue action."

"I care," I mutter under my breath, feeling my face flush as I move to stand against the railing a little ways back.

She looks rejected and I hate seeing that look on her face. She quickly throws up a mask, making it seem like no big deal when I know she's making it a big deal. Dawn hands her the tongs she'd gone inside to get and she gives me a look as she walks over and stands next to me. It isn't until I take a sip of my beer that I notice she has one in her hand as well. She never drinks, but I think after what she heard in the kitchen and what she just saw that she needs it right now.

"So," she starts and she waits until I look over at her before she continues, "What's going on with you and Faith?"

"I don't know," I shrug, keeping my voice low even though I know Faith can hear every word that is said. We're not that far away from her. "We're just..."

"Fucking?"

"No," I shake my head and let out a soft sigh. "It's not just that."

"If she leaves and you keep doing this, it's going to rip you apart, Buffy."

I know this and it isn't as if I haven't thought about it. I don't want to admit to her that it will because I know she already knows. I just take another sip of my beer and try to push those thoughts out of my head since I really want Faith to stay this time. I want what we have to continue. I don't want her to leave and not come back for god knows how long.

"You can't let her leave," Dawn says quietly. "I don't want to sit here and watch you cry when she does."

"I'm not going to cry."

"Really?"

"Really," I sigh and I shake my head to ward off the tears I can already feel building. "It's not...I don't even know what this is between us. How can something like that rip me apart?"

"Because you love each other," Dawn counters, smirking as Faith chooses to look over just as she says that. "Don't you?"

I nod as I look over at Faith and she flashes me a sweet smile that makes my heart melt. It's one of those smiles that make those butterflies take flight, my knees grow weak, and my heart race to the point where I'm sure I'll end up having a heart attack. God, what this woman can do to me with just a smile. What she can do with me beyond that, well, I'll let her do anything to me that she wants to. Oh, she's definitely getting under my skin, in good ways and bad ways and every way in between. I think of the ways I want her to get in me, under me--I can't believe I'm getting turned on from a smile and when Dawn is standing right next to me!

How messed up is that? Honestly.

I have to fight that urge to walk over to Faith and run my hands along the back of her thighs. Have I mentioned how delicious her ass looks in my shorts? I raise my hand to wipe the corners of my mouth just to make sure I'm not drooling and when all is clear that's when Faith chooses to look over at me yet again and this time I'm able to smile right back at her. I don't even need to look at Dawn to know she's rolling her eyes as she walks to the back door and disappears inside. The pull I feel now is too strong to resist and I find myself standing next to Faith, my hand finding its place at the small of her back.

"Still hungry, B?"

"Oh yeah."

"For food," Faith chuckles as she turns to me. "Well, are ya?"

"Of course I am."

"With the way ya keep looking at me, I don't believe ya."

"Who can blame me?" I say, a smirk forming as Faith raises an eyebrow at that.

I think she doesn't expect me to be this way with her. I don't even expect me to be with way with her, but it is the way it is and it's a little too late to change it. It's not as if I'd want to change it anyway. Just being with her, being this way with her, it all feels right. It hits me that maybe Dawn is right. If Faith leaves, it is definitely going to tear me apart and I'm not so sure I'll be able to handle it. I push those thoughts away, choosing instead to get lost within her brown eyes that suddenly look a lot darker than they were just a couple of minutes ago.

"Should be ready in a few," she says and I blink, feeling like I've been yanked from my momentary daze I'd found myself in. "You okay there, B?"

"Perfectly fine."

Faith looks like she doesn't believe me and she only shrugs as she turns her attention back to the barbecue. I trail my fingers under her shirt and over warm, smooth skin and I swear she shuddered and tried to cover it up with a cough as she stepped away. I pout when she looks over at me again after taking the potatoes and steaks off the barbecue and she only winks as she carries the tray inside and I follow. I try to finish the beer in my hand when I see that Dawn has brought out one of the good bottles of wine. I catch Faith making a face when she notices too and she puts the tray of food down on the counter and heads for the fridge to get another beer.

Everything about this seems normal, it seems perfect, and it seems like this is the way things should always be. The awkwardness with Dawn there makes those butterflies come back every time Faith's gaze meets mine and I know it's not just because Dawn is right there watching our every move. I can't quite keep my eyes off of Faith and she doesn't seem to mind. We eat in silence and I barely even taste my food as I inhale it. I don't even think I looked down at my plate twice the whole time we sat around the kitchen table. The only sounds came from the radio and the clanking of the cutlery against the plates. It isn't long before Dawn is asking Faith about where she's been and where she plans to go and I nearly completely tune both of them out as I become completely mesmerized by Faith's lips each time she licks over that bottom lip of hers.

Once we're finished eating, I'm shooed out of the kitchen by both of them. I pout and find myself pinned against the counter by Faith, her lips hungrily devouring mine. I only faintly feel her mouth `five minutes' against my lips before she pulls away and helps Dawn pile the dishes in the sink. I leave them alone and I take my half glass of red wine out back with me. I sit down in the chair by the patio table, a gift from Giles when we'd found this place, and I put my feet up on the chair next to me and just watch as the sky begins to change colours as the sun dips down past the trees.

"Want another glass?" Faith asks from behind me and she holds out the bottle of wine. I nod and she tops up my glass before she sits down next to me. "The more time I spend here the more I get it."

"Get it?"

"Get why ya wanna stay here, stay away from the way your life used to be."

I nod and smile over at her, wondering if there's more to it than what she's actually saying. I don't want to get my hopes up and think that maybe she wants to stay here too for a while. I can't make her stay here, although I wish there was a way to. After everything that's just happened between us, I don't think I can handle knowing she's off god knows where and knowing that the possibility of her getting hurt or killed and not coming back to me is very high.

"Dawn seems okay with this, doesn't she?" Faith asks me and I shrug as I look back at the house as Dawn finishes cleaning up in the kitchen. "A little weirded out, but she's okay with this, right?"

"I think so," I shrug in reply. "She's the one who pointed out that I..."

"That ya what?"

"Nothing," I say quickly, not wanting to say those words to her just yet. I don't want to scare her off even though she's already said them to me. Saying those words aren't easy for me and I know they weren't for her either, but I don't want to risk it.

Faith lets out a sigh as she places her hand on my thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze. I wonder if she knows how I love her. I wonder if she knows that the way I love her is in a way I've never loved anyone else. I wonder if she'll even care to know that the love I feel for her runs deep, a little too deep for me to fully grasp just yet. I echo the sigh she let out just minutes ago and place my hand over hers still resting on my thigh. We watch the sun as it sets in silence and in this very moment, I've never felt more at ease in my entire life and I know it's because of her.

I look over at her as it grows darker and the bright colours in the sky begin to fade to black, and I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face when she turns to look at me with an equally big smile curled over her lips. I wonder why it's never been like this between us before and even though I already know the answer, I still want to hear it. I want to hear it to make sure this isn't some kind of dream like the way it felt after we'd spent the entire night together and she left.

It's different this time. I know she's not leaving. At least not right now.

I know that later or tomorrow, I will tell her just how I feel. I will tell her that she's becoming everything to me--so much more than just someone that's given me the greatest sexual relationship so far--and that maybe she always has been and I'm only just not starting to see it. We have a lot of hurdles to get over, a past to overcome, but I plan to take it one moment, one day at a time.

It's all I can really do.

Chapter Four

Author's Notes: I just want to say that I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update this fic and the other one since my life has become drastically busy and I have a hard time finding the time to write. Anyway, I hope everyone that's reading is enjoying this little fic of mine and would love to hear your thoughts (if any). Thanks to those who are R&R, much appreciated :)

Faith is staring at me. She has been for the last hour or so. She hasn't said a word either, but she doesn't need to. I know what she's thinking, I know what she wants, and I know she's deliberately holding herself back. Dawn is sitting out here with us and her cell phone is attached to her hand. Every couple of minutes she gets a text and each one makes her laugh a little more than the last. Faith's hand is holding mine, our fingers loosely intertwined and her thumb keeps stroking over mine each time I look over at her. Who knew she was a hand holder?

It's still taking me a little bit to get over that shock. Everything I ever thought about her has been proven to be wrong, or just about everything. I sip on my glass of wine and listen to the crickets and various other sounds of nature that seems to be amplified. I can only faintly hear Faith's heart and I know it's been beating rapidly since she first reached for my hand. I know mine is too, almost in sync with hers and those butterflies are back, making me feel a little queasy since the wine isn't going down so good.

"I'm going out," Dawn says suddenly as she stands up and slips her cell into her back pocket. "Going to meet up with a few people in town. There's a party."

"See ya, Dawnie," Faith says without taking her eyes off of me. "Have fun."

"Are you coming home tonight?" I ask her, trying not to sound too `mom' since I hate it when I do.

"Probably not."

She gets a look in her eyes as she looks over at the two of us, but she doesn't say anything as she heads inside and closes the back door behind her. I look over at Faith and she's grinning at me as she leans in and kisses me softly. I don't know what it is, but every little kiss like that makes me weak in the knees whether I'm sitting down or not. How is it so different with her? How is it that she can make me feel this way when I don't even know if she'll be here tomorrow or the next day or the day after that? I stop thinking so much--it's dangerous really--and I thread my fingers through her silky brown hair and pull her in for another kiss, a deeper one, one that seems to take her breath away.

I break away from the kiss and run my fingers over her jaw and gently brush my thumbs over her dimples when she smiles at me. I know I have an equally dopey grin curling over my lips as we just stare at one another and become lost within each other's eyes. I wonder if now would be a good time to ask her if we are just fucking or if there's more to it, but I don't get the chance to say a word since her lips are on mine once again and her hands are pulling me up from my chair. She pulls me so I'm sitting sideways on her lap and she kisses me deeply, so deeply it elicits a low moan I didn't even realize I was trying to repress.

"Ya want to take this inside?" Faith asks breathlessly after we spent what felt like an hour kissing.

"I uh..."

She laughs as she reaches up and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Ya want another glass of wine or somethin'?"

"No. I'm good."

The smile fades from her face as she lets out a sigh and I have a feeling that whatever she plans to say next I won't like it. I might not know her as well as I'd like to, but I know that look in her eyes when she wants to get gone, if not now, soon. I try to keep my emotions in check as I wait for her to speak. She's working up the courage to say whatever it is she wants to say and I feel like I'm holding my breath.

"B, I...I'm not so sure how to say this."

"Say what?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly as I struggle to keep my emotions from leaking through. "What is it, Faith?"

"I like this time we've spent together, B. Kinda don't want to leave."

"Then don't."

"I have to."

"Why?"

"It's what I gotta do."

"When are you going to leave?"

"In the morning," she whispers. "I have to. Got places I need to be right now, B, and as much as I just wanna stay right here with you, I know I can't. Responsibilities and shit and y'know Giles is gonna bitch if I don't take care of shit like I'm supposed to be doing right now."

"Tell him you need some time off."

"Tried. He thinks a week is enough."

"A week? You haven't been--"

"I have. Before I showed up here the other day," she starts and she pauses to take a deep breath. "I was here for almost three days before I got up the fuckin' courage to come see you, B. Took me two days to drive down here too."

"Give me your phone," I say quietly as I hold out my hand.

"Why?"

"I'm going to get you another week off. Fuck what Giles says. He doesn't own you."

Faith only raises an eyebrow at that and digs her cell phone out of her pocket and hands it to me. I scan through the numbers and stop when I reach Giles' number. I have been avoiding his phone calls for far too long and I feel a little nervous just calling him up now. But I want her to stay and I want it to be much longer than a week. I don't know what I'm even going to say to him and it's a little late to try to think about just that since I hit send and the line is already ringing.

Luckily for me it goes right to his voice mail and I take a deep breath before the beep, feeling slightly nervous about what I'm about to say. Faith is rubbing my back, watching me and I take one last deep breath as the voice mail goes through the list of extensions and then finally comes the beep.

"Giles, it's Buffy. I just...I--"

Faith takes the phone from me then and smiles as she puts it to her ear. "G, I'm staying out here another week with B and Dawnie. I'll owe ya one when I get back."

She turns her cell off and places it down on the patio table. I smile at her and lean in for another kiss, finding it far too addictive just to keep kissing her. There's just something about those lips and the way they feel against mine and the way she kisses me back, like she means it. I suck on her bottom lip as her hands slide under the hem of my shirt and over my back. I want to pull her up, drag her inside, strip her out of her clothes and make love to her all night long, but she isn't letting me move just yet. I can feel the heat radiating off her as she pulls back from the kiss, leaving me just as breathless as she is and she only smiles as she dips her head down and lays a gentle kiss against my bare shoulder.

"Another week won't kill me," she says softly. "Might do me a little good just to get away for a little while."

"Yeah, it will."

"I really didn't want to leave tomorrow anyway," she laughs as she stares deeply into my eyes. "I don't think I'll be able to leave at all if I spend an entire week here with you, B."

"Then don't. Stay."

"Wish I could."

"You can. I want you to stay, Faith."

"Why?" Faith questions as she cocks her head to the side as she waits for me to tell her why I want her to stay.

It's now or never.

"Because I'm in love with you," I whisper, finding it far easier than I thought it'd be to say the words I know I needed to say to her since she told me how she felt about me. "I don't want to let you go now that I have you, Faith."

"No?" Faith smiles as she gives me a gentle yet tight squeeze. "I don't wanna let you go either."

"Then don't."

"Ain't that easy, B. I can't just drop everything and stop bein' who I am. Finally doin' good in my life and I wanna keep it that way."

"You can do good here with me," I say quietly and I cringe at how desperate my voice sounds.

Maybe I am a little desperate for her to stay here. I need her. I want her to stay so badly it hurts. I'm becoming far too emotionally attached to her now to let her just slip through my fingers and leave for god knows how long. I don't think, at least at this point, that I can go more than a couple of days without seeing her, holding her, kissing her...

It dawns on me that I've really never loved anyone like this before, not even Angel. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say it scared me. It's only scary because it's Faith and even though it feels unexpected to be feeling this way about her, I know it's not. It's not even a new feeling and the only `new' thing about this is the fact that I'm not denying it to myself how I feel about her anymore. I know she knows how I'm feeling too; I can see it as I stare into her eyes. Even in the darkness with the only light coming from the moon and the light shining out through the kitchen window, I can see it.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, Buffy," Faith says softly and I can see the blush on her cheeks as she smiles shyly at me.

"You are too," I whisper as I gently cup her face and lay a light kiss upon her lips. "You've always been beautiful to me, Faith."

"Never been called beautiful. Sexy and gorgeous--that I've been called. Never beautiful."

"Nobody has ever seen you the way I do then," I smile and I can feel the heat increase in her cheeks as she blushes a little more. "And you are very sexy and gorgeous too, don't get me wrong."

She chuckles softly as I watch her try to fight away the blush. She looks a little embarrassed that I've seen her blush like that and get a little shy. She never gets like this, but I don't mind. It's showing me a whole other side to her, a side I definitely want to see more of as much as I can. Nobody would ever believe me if I told them how she is when she's like this with me. I think I'll keep this fact to myself, have something of her just for me.

I stand up and pull her up with me and once she's on her feet, I wrap my arms around her and my lips easily find hers. We both stumble as we try to make it to the back door without breaking away from the kiss and before I can reach for the handle, she has me pressed up against the door, her body nearly flush against mine as she deepens the kiss. Our tongues are duelling, dancing, sending little shockwaves throughout me as my hands grip at her back, holding her impossibly close to me.

"Feel like goin' for a swim?" Faith breathes out across my lips, her hands already under my shirt as if she's trying to pull it off.

"Now?"

"Why not? It's hot out tonight and dunno," she shrugs as she smooth's the palms of her hands over my stomach. "This is like a vacation for me, right? Might as well make the most of it."

I shake my head no, really not feeling like going for a swim now despite how tempting it is to be up against her in the warm water. I want to keep our bedroom activities in the bedroom, at least for now. I know she'd be up for it anywhere, anytime, but I'm not like that. Being like that reminds me too much of Spike. Just thinking of him causes me to shudder and Faith looks at me curiously, probably trying to figure out what I'm thinking about.

"Let's just..."

"Go inside?" She finishes for me, smirking as she drops her hands from under my shirt slowly. She looks like she wants to say something more, but doesn't as she takes my hand in hers and opens the back door.

Dawn is just leaving as we walk into the kitchen and I can hear her laughing as she heads outside and down to the car that's waiting for her with her friends she'd made while we've been living here. Faith's hands are all over me before we even reach my bedroom and she has me pinned up against the doorframe in an instant, her lips devouring mine.

She can't seem to get my clothes off fast enough and I break away from the kiss when I hear a rip. I look down between us and see that she's practically ripped her own jeans trying to get out of them and I stifle a laugh as I help her ease them down her hips. I pull off my shirt and stand there in front of her in only my bra and panties and I wait for her to take off her shirt before I pull her in for a crushing kiss that I swear made her whimper at the intensity of it. I try not to let my thoughts take over, I try not to listen to the voices that are telling me that if this isn't just about sex, why is it all we seem to be doing?

I concentrate only on the feel of her hands as she slides them up my back and stops when she reaches the clasp on my bra. I mimic her movement and try to concentrate on getting her out of her bra and then her panties as if my life depended on it. But the way she keeps kissing me and sucking on my tongue and lower lip is making it impossible to focus on just one simple thing. As soon as she has my bra off and I manage to slide hers off, she picks me up and carries me the short distance over to the bed.

We fall back onto the bed together and we both laugh a little as we break away from the kiss. She presses her thigh up against my pussy, creating the most delicious friction as she stares down into my eyes. Her eyes are expressive and I know she's thinking about something. Whatever it is, it's causing her to derail from everything she wants to do right now. I want to ask her what she's thinking about, but the words don't form on my lips as I find myself becoming lost in her eyes. I never took the time to just look deeply into her eyes before and now I'm wishing I had. I can almost see her very soul and mixed in the darkness that is still there, there's a little bit of light, of hope, for bigger and better things.

She blinks and that little moment is lost. She's holding herself back, just as she always does. I wonder if she's afraid to truly open herself up to me just as I am afraid of doing the same. It's not just with her I can't open up with; it's with anyone, even Dawn. I find I'm always guarding myself, always afraid that if I open myself up, I won't like the outcome.

And thinking is definitely of the bad right now.

I try to shut off the thoughts running through my mind as I pull her in for a scorching kiss. Her hand is already between us, easing under the top of my panties and I want nothing more than that barrier between us to be gone. I'll be patient though, let her drive for as long as she wants to. It's still a little intimidating to take full control when it comes to Faith. I gasp into her mouth as her fingers circle over my clit and I know she knows exactly how to touch me now to get me going--and coming--in mere seconds. I have both my hands in her hair and I try not to grip to hard as her fingers circle my clit harder and faster and I try to keep my hips from bucking up too wildly.

"Let go," she whispers against my lips. "Just let go, B."

Her words encourage me to stop holding back and I let out a low moan when she slips her fingers down to my hole. I can feel my arousal just seeping out as she teases me for a moment before slipping a single finger deep inside of me with ease. My eyes slide shut as my back arches off the bed. It feels far too good with the way she's fingering me, touching me just right. My heart is racing wildly now and I can feel hers beating against her chest as I hold her closer to me. Her nipples are rock hard against mine and every little movement we both make creates friction that makes me crave more.

When she shifts slightly, I slide my thigh between her legs, pressing hard up into her as she rolls her hips, trying to get herself off. when her lips crush against mine, I can feel her frustration building and I manage to slide a hand between our bodies and down her thin, barely there panties, seeking out her clit, feeling how wet she is, feeling it throbbing in time to the rapid beating of her heart. She growls as she slides her hand out of my panties and rips them off and I break away from the kiss and bite my lower lip as she rips off hers a second later.

The bed is creaking slightly and I find myself feeling like I'm floating, like I'm dreaming as a haze of arousal just floods through my body and I can feel the beginnings of a rather intense orgasm forming. It makes every inch of my body come alive and every one of my senses heightened. I can smell her arousal and mine in the hot, sticky night air and it nearly makes my mouth water. I want to taste her, I want to just bury my face in her sweet pussy and make her come hard and fast. But that can wait. We have all night.

She's absolutely soaked and my fingers slip past her folds with ease and I slide a finger inside of her, trying to match her thrust for thrust. It isn't long before we're both coming, both gasping for breath and moaning as we both try to draw it out for as long as we can. We become a tangle of limbs when Faith nearly collapses on me. I bring my fingers to my lips and she lifts her head and watches me as I lick them clean, practically purring at the taste of her as I do.

"Fuck, that's hot," she murmurs as she moves to my side and strokes her fingers over my stomach.

"Is it?"

"Hell yeah," she grins and plants a wet kiss upon my lips briefly. "You sure ya never been with another chick before?"

"I'm sure. Is it obvious?"

"No, that's why I was asking," she laughs as she grabs my leg and hooks it over hers. "It's different with you, B. A good different. Ain't ever been like this before."

"You've told me once or twice already."

"I know."

I wonder why it's never been like this before and I already know the reason why. I don't want to think of all the people she'd been with before me and I definitely don't want to think of the people she'll be with after me once she leaves. It's too much to ask her to be with just me. She's a sexual enigma and she needs variety in her life. I know that much. Even if she does love me, even if she is in love with me, it'll never be enough for her. I know I have to be okay with that, or at least try to be. It's not selfish to want someone all to yourself, but when it comes to Faith, it feels like it is.

"What're ya thinkin' right now, B?"

"Nothing," I lie, really not wanting to talk to her about this as it feels rather silly and unnecessary.

"I hope you aren't spent already."

"No," I smile at her as she reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. "Just need a breather."

"It's fuckin' intense with you," she whispers as she trails her lips over my jaw slowly. "I don't know why it's so intense with you, B. Maybe its cos of how I feel `bout you."

I nod, not wanting to speak as she begins to kiss the sweet spot on my neck right near my pulse point. She bites at my skin and I close my eyes shut so tightly I see stars. I know even if she leaves a mark that it'll be gone by the morning and for some reason, I don't want it to be. I want whoever sees me to know she's marked me as hers. I want to be marked as hers and I want to mark her as mine. Faith suddenly pulls back and stares into my eyes curiously.

"You always think this much?"

"Who says I'm thinking?"

"Ya kinda space out when ya do."

"So do you," I point out and she laughs softly. I realize how comfortable we're getting with each other if we just randomly talk like this when were so intimately close to one another. "Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

I am about to ask her if she'll stay longer than a week, but I stop myself when she grinds her pussy hard against my thigh. I remind myself we've already talked about this and talking about it again isn't going to get us anywhere

"Forget about it," I say finally as I pull her more fully on top of me. "Just forget about it."

I pull her in for a kiss before she can say a word and for what feels like the hundredth time in the last half an hour, I try to push every last thought out of my mind and focus just on her. I swear I've never had this problem before; then again, I've never had sex with Faith before. She's right about it being intense. I'm not so sure if intense is the right word. I don't even think there are words to describe how it is between us.

There are danger signs flashing in my mind, warning me not to get too attached to her. And then there's that voice in the back of my mind reminding me that this is Faith, queen of get some and get gone. So far, she's only left me once and I really don't want to relive that again anytime soon. She stops kissing me, giving me a look as if she knows I'm too busy thinking and not focusing on what is happening between us.

"I'm gonna ask ya again, B. Are you okay with this?" Faith asks me softly as she stills herself. She's barely breathing as I take in a deep breath and nod my head slowly. "Y'know I can't be here all the time with you, B."

"I know. I'm okay with that."

"Are you? Or are ya just saying that cos we're all kinds of naked right now?"

I laugh as I trace my fingers over her shoulder blades and feel her shiver slightly from my touch. "I want things I know you don't want or aren't ready for, but that's okay, Faith. I'll take what I can have with you for now."

"Even if it's just..." she trails off, a slightly guilty look washing over her face as she now refuses to look me in the eye. "Don't get me wrong, B. It's great with you. Best I've ever had actually."

"Now you're lying to me."

"Ain't lying. Thinkin' its cos it's you, that's why it's fuckin' ace."

I laugh again and suddenly don't feel so bad about talking when we're--in her words--all kinds of naked right now. Maybe this all means our relationship is growing, little bit by little bit. My heart aches a little as I stare at her. Her brown eyes are so expressive when she lets down all her walls and lets me in. I want to spend hours upon hours with her every day just looking into her eyes, becoming lost within them until she laughs and pulls me out of whatever place I've found myself in.

I've felt so much in the last couple of days that I wonder how much more I can feel before it's all too much for me to handle. Considering all that I've had to go through in my life, something like this shouldn't affect me, but it is. I just want to slip away for the rest of the night, but I know that is definitely not happening. Stupid brain. Stupid thoughts. Think of sexy naked Faith and nothing else!

Faith is laughing at me as I find myself pouting at the things going through my mind and I reach down and pinch her ass to try to get her to stop. She wriggles on top of me, still laughing and I playfully swat her across the ass.

"Kinky, B."

"Shut up."

"It's funny," she says, unable to stop the laughter that's flowing through her and I push her off of me and roll my eyes. "Never woulda thought you'd be into kinky shit."

"I'm not."

"I know," she smirks as she reaches for my hand and pulls me close to her. I sigh and rest my head on her shoulder. "Just fuckin' with ya."

"When you should be fucking me?"

I think I rendered her speechless. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times and I find it impossible to keep myself from laughing. I close my eyes as she lets go of my hand and runs the tips of her fingers over my side. I try not to let her know I'm ticklish and hold back the giggles I can feel about to escape. I lay back as her fingers circle my nipple and I barely can open my eyes as she leans down and wraps her lips around it, sucking gently before giving it a little bite. She's making a little purring noise as she trails her tongue over my breasts to my other nipple and I moan softly when she unexpectedly cups my pussy as she bites down on my left nipple.

Before Faith, I never knew what it was like to be completely worshipped. She's so meticulous when it comes to sex, to making the other feel good. She likes it hard and fast at times, but right now is one of those slow and gentle moments. One of those moments when she takes her time, mapping almost my entire body--mostly my breasts--with her lips and tongue. She murmurs several times how delicious my skin tastes and I can't form any words as I focus solely on her tongue now trailing a wet path down my stomach. I instinctively spread my legs for her as she nips at the skin where my hips meet my legs and I groan softly when she takes a long yet tentative lick along my slit.

I run my hands through her hair as she looks up at me for a moment just as I'm able to open my eyes, finding it to be quite an effort. She smirks up at me as she circles my clit with her tongue and I throw my head back against the pillows and moan softly, arching into her, wanting more and knowing she'll give me so much more than I think I could possible stand to take. She's taking her time, teasing me as she eases her tongue inside my hole. I can feel myself clenching at her tongue every time she plunges it inside of me and she's moaning softly as she shifts on the bed slightly and pulls me a little bit closer to her.

The things this woman can do with her tongue...I have no words, no thoughts other than `fuck me'. She knows she's good and she knows how to press all my buttons. She's known from the very first time.

I keep my eyes closed as she fucks me with her tongue and I feel so full that it's almost overwhelming. Her face is buried in my pussy and she's gasping for breath and yet she never stops, she never pulls away. As soon as she starts moaning and humming, the vibrations coursed through me almost violently and I try to keep my hips from bucking wildly. She has a tight grip on me to keep me from doing just that and the grip is so tight I know I'll have bruises there for a couple of hours.

And yet I do not care. I'm swimming in a sea of pleasure I've only ever felt with her. I let myself go, letting my orgasm take flight as it shoots through my body and makes me feel a rush I only had ever felt before while slaying. I don't even realize she's pulled away from me and is softly circling my clit with her thumb as she crawls up my body and captures my lips in a long, lazy kiss.

This next week is going to be nothing short of amazing. I know I'll definitely feel heartbroken when she leaves. I just have to make sure that she promises to come back to me. That nothing will keep her from coming back. It's a far stretch, but I think she wants the same thing. At least I hope she does...

Chapter Five

Author's Notes: This is it...when I started writing this, it was never planned to be a very long fic at all. Thanks to all those who are reading and enjoying and reviewing, you guys are all awesome :) (and I apologize if there's any typos in here, kinda half asleep posting this)

I ache all over and I can barely open my eyes. The sunlight pouring in through the window is blinding and I turn my head and look at Faith. She's still sleeping, her arm draped lazily over my stomach and her head resting on the pillow next to me. She has a look of contentment on her face, even as she sleeps and I can't help but smile at her as she stirs a little.

"What time is it?" Faith mumbles without even opening her eyes.

"Early," I reply without even bothering to look over at the clock.

I run my hands along her back and sides as she stretches out slowly. She makes the most adorable and sexy sound, almost as if she's purring as she leans in for a light kiss before laying her head back down on the pillow next to mine. I know what I've known since this started, I know I need much more than a week of this and I'm not determined to find a way to make that happen. My eyes slide shut as she traces the tips of her fingers over my stomach and over my left breast, teasing my nipple awake as she presses her body a little more into mine.

I want to tell her she can do as she pleases with me, but she already knows that she can. She already knows that I'm hers. The gentleness that she can show does feel a little shocking. To look at her, you'd never think she was capable of being so gentle when she wanted to be. Her touch is light, yet sensual and loving and I moan softly as she trails her fingers down my stomach and cups my rather tender pussy. I open my eyes and look at her and she's smiling at me as she leans in for a kiss.

Morning breath be damned. I grab her and kiss her deeply, feeling her tongue slide against mine in time to her fingers stroking my tender pussy, feeling her fingers find their way to my clit and rub it softly. I can barely move my hands away from the back of her head as she deftly slides a single finger inside of me. I can feel my arousal just seeping out and she shifts next to me, sliding over my thigh, coating it with her wetness as she keeps kissing me, fucking me ever so slowly.

"I could do this all day," she whispers against my lips as I breathe out, gasping as she slides a second finger inside of me. "I could spend the whole fuckin' day making you come until ya begged me to stop."

"I'd never beg you to stop."

"You'd beg for more?"

"I wouldn't have to," I laugh softly, holding back a moan as I raise my hips slightly.

"You're right, you wouldn't have to," she smirks as she stills her fingers, keeping them buried deeply inside of me. "Ya got any coffee in the house, B?"

"Coffee? You are thinking about coffee? Now?"

She laughs as she shakes her head and I swear her eyes are almost sparkling as she stares at me. Our moment is over the instant the front door slams shut and I hear Dawn drop her keys on the table in the front hallway. I breathe in heavily, trying to calm myself as Faith slides her fingers out from inside of me and rolls off the bed. I watch her as she pulls on her clothes, clothes that look like they've had better days. A pair of tattered jean shorts and a black tank that fits her like a glove. I don't even want to move from the bed, but I do when she heads for the door and looks back, smiling at me as she opens the door and walks out.

I know I should shower, but I can't quite get myself to function. All night we'd gone at it and my whole body was sore in all the right places. I wouldn't put it past her if I can't even walk straight today. I finally manage to pull myself out of bed and throw on some clothes, only half aware that I'm dressed to match her until I walk into the kitchen where she and Dawn are talking quietly as they stand by the counter, waiting for the coffee to brew. I get a look from Dawn, one that says she knows exactly what happened all night long and I want nothing more than to wipe that smirk off her face.

"Nice sex hair, Buffy."

"Dawn!" I exclaim as Faith bursts out laughing and I try to smooth out the tangled mess of hair I hadn't realized was so bad.

"What? Just stating the obvious here," she smirks as she grabs three mugs out of the cupboard and places them on the counter in front of the coffeemaker. "It's also kind of cute that you two are already into the whole matching thing."

"Matching thing?" Faith asks as she leans against the counter next to me.

"Dressed almost identical," Dawn points out. "Coincidence?"

"Yes," I say quickly as Faith reaches out and gently places her hand on the small of my back.

I close my eyes for a moment just feeling the warmth of her hand through my shirt. When I open my eyes and I see the way Dawn is staring at both of us, I know she's truly okay with this...thing I have with Faith now. Calling it a relationship might be a little too much too soon and despite how much I want it to be, I know it's silly to get my hopes up that it could ever be more than what it is now.

"There's a message on the machine from Giles," Dawn says, breaking what feels like slight uncomfortable silence. "He wants to talk to you, Buffy."

"About what?"

"He never said. He just wants you to call him. You can't avoid him forever."

"She's right," Faith says as she strokes her fingers just under the hem of my shirt and I can feel the goose bumps forming. "Ya gotta talk to him sometime, B. Besides," she laughs as she pushes herself off the counter and wraps her arms around me. "I can't tell ya how many times I've heard G bitch that you ain't returned any of his calls."

"Giles doesn't bitch," Dawn points out. I don't even need to look at Faith to know she's shooting Dawn an incredulous look. "Okay, maybe he does, but in his stuffy British way."

"Damn right he does. Half the time I'm around he's all `Buffy this' and `Buffy that'," Faith chuckles and I concentrate not on her words but her breath against my neck as she holds me close. "He misses ya, B. Just call him and see what he has to say."

I already know exactly what he's going to say to me. he's going to tell me I've had enough time to do my own thing here with Dawn and that it's time to come there, help out, save the world again and again. As much as I know it used to be my responsibility, it isn't anymore and Giles doesn't quite get that. I just want a normal life, a quiet life, and I've had just that for the last couple of years. I'm not quite ready to let it go just yet. Then it dawns on me that if I do go there, I have a chance with Faith. She spends a lot of her time there with Giles and the others in Cleveland. Even with her going off on `assignments' I'd still see her a lot more than I would if I stayed right here.

Dawn hands me the phone and I groan softly as I hit number one on the speed dial. I figure as I listen to the line ring that it's better to get this phone call out of the way now. I have been putting it off for far too long now. Faith doesn't move and I feel somewhat relaxed with her arms around me, still holding me so close I can feel her heart beating steadily.

Giles answers on the fifth ring and I know he knows it's me before he even says hello. Faith takes that as a sign to leave me alone to talk to Giles and she and Dawn take their coffee out back. She looks back before she closes the door and flashes me a smile that makes me feel slightly weak in the knees.

"How have you been, Buffy?" Giles asks me and I shake my head free of the daze I'm beginning to fall into and all because of Faith's incredulously sexy smile. "Doing good, I trust?"

"Yeah, doing really good, Giles," I say softly and I grab my cup of coffee and take a tentative sip. "I'm sorry for not calling."

"It's quite all right, Buffy. I know you are off doing your own thing these days and I am fully supportive of your decision to do just that. I do worry."

"I know."

"And Faith is there for a visit?"

"She is."

"You two aren't fighting, are you?"

"No," I laugh as I look out through the window at Faith and Dawn sitting at the patio table, laughing quietly together. "Quite the opposite. I think our days off fighting are officially over."

"That's wonderful," he says and I can almost see him smiling. "I knew that if you two gave it some time that you'd find a common ground and become friends."

I laugh again and want to tell him that we aren't friends, but I don't. That's a little too much information and I'm not ready for Giles to know about what Faith and I have together now. He tells me what has been happening in Cleveland, catching me up on everything with Xander, Willow, Kennedy and the others. I'm barely listening; mesmerized by the way the sunlight just wraps itself around Faith. I want to go out there, sit next to her, take her hand in mine and kiss her. I try to listen to Giles, I try to make it at least seem like I'm listening to him, but my mind just won't listen to me.

"I imagine you thought that the reason I wanted to talk with you is to bring you back with all of us," he says and that snaps me out of the Faith-daze I'd fallen into. "In all honesty, yes, I would love for you to come here, help us out in any way that you can. You are the best out there, Buffy. Even if you have retired, you are still the best."

"What about Faith?"

"She can hold her own," he responds. "But she isn't you. She does her own thing, you know that, Buffy."

"If I come there," I start, dreading the words before they even roll past my lips. "If I do, I don't want it to be like before. I don't want to patrol every single night. I don't want to train the younger girls. I want a life, Giles."

"You will indeed have a life, Buffy. I don't expect you to pack up and come here right away. I do expect you to take some time to think about this. Willow said we are all family and that it doesn't quite feel like we are complete without you here."

Way to pull at the heart strings, Giles. Bringing out the family card. I sigh as I switch the phone to the other ear and close my eyes. It takes me a few minutes before I tell him that I'll think about it and talk to Dawn about it. I tell him I can't promise him anything anytime soon, but I do tell him I'd let him know my decision either way. We say our goodbyes and the choked up way he said that he misses me almost makes me cry as I hang up the phone.

I don't know what I want to do anymore. I want to stay here, I want to keep living this life I've been living since Dawn and I have come here, but there felt like there was always something missing. As soon as I look back outside at Faith, I know exactly what has been missing in my life. Her.

I take my coffee with me and I join them outside. I sit next to Faith and she just smiles over at me as Dawn demands to know what Giles said to me. I block her out as I just stare at Faith and I feel myself grinning like a lovesick fool as she makes those butterflies in my stomach come alive. It's a beautiful and warm morning and despite how I thought I'd feel after talking to Giles, I feel happy. I feel almost free. I feel like I'm so in love with Faith that nothing can touch this feeling and that nothing can take it away.

I have a lot to think about, but I decide as I sip my coffee and not taking my eyes off of Faith, that it can wait until this week I have with her is through. Those thoughts are lost though as she licks over her bottom lip slowly and I can only faintly hear her purr as she sees how worked up she's getting me with such a small gesture. Dawn leaves us, telling us she'll be in the shower if anyone calls for her. As soon as the back door shuts behind her, I lean in and kiss Faith ever so softly.

"He wants you to go there, doesn't he?" Faith asks when I pull away. "Ya gonna?"

"Don't know yet."

"You should."

I knew she'd say that. I felt it long before she even opened her mouth. I sigh as I lean back in my chair and close my eyes as I tilt my head back and feel the warm morning sun beat down on my face.

"I know you're doing your own thing here, B, but they all miss ya and need ya back like ya wouldn't believe."

"I know, Faith."

"So?"

"So," I sigh out as I turn to look at her. "So, I need some time to think about this."

"Cool," she says with a forced smile. "Won't bug ya `bout it anymore then."

"Faith?" I say and her eyes burn into mine as she waits for me to continue. "If I do go to Cleveland, are we...is this going to..."

"Continue? Fuck yeah it is," she laughs as she moves her chair closer to me and drapes her arm over my shoulders. "If I knew it'd be like this with you, B, I woulda damn well made sure this happened years ago."

"We couldn't have handled this years ago."

I know I make a valid point and I know she knows that too. She just shrugs as she leans forward and grabs her coffee mug off the table. She smiles at me as she sits back in her chair and I can't fight the smile I flash right back at her. Everything is so different between us now and I don't want this to ever change. I like this side of Faith, a side she's never shown anyone but me, and I know that if I do go to Cleveland and I am with her there, it'll be different when we're around anyone else. A part of me doesn't even care as long as I get to be with her, but another part of me does care and doesn't want anything to be different between us just because the others are around.

I'm just now starting to realize that I won't just be with Faith, I'll be coming out of this dark, damp closet I've closed myself in without even realizing it. I try not to panic and Faith sees it and gives my shoulders a gentle squeeze almost as if she knows what's going through my mind right now.

"Everything will work out, B."

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"I'm not," she shrugs. "Just trying the whole thinkin' positive thing. Seems to work. Sometimes."

I let out a sigh as I close my eyes and try to push out all the thoughts plaguing my mind. I tell myself I'll give it a week to think about Cleveland. I tell myself that I'll give myself fully and completely to Faith this entire week. The only thing I don't have to tell myself is that this is the only thing I can do right now that'll make me happy. I know it is.

"You don't think this is moving too fast, do you?" Faith asks me after a moment. "Never been in a relationship before so I dunno how these things go."

"A...relationship? Is that what this is?"

"B, did ya hit your head or something?" Faith laughs. "I think it is. Maybe it is. Like I said, I dunno really. Unless..." she trails off as the smile fades away. "Unless you don't want this to be."

"I do. I do want this to be a relationship, Faith. It is a relationship. We're in love with each other, aren't we?"

"Damn right we are."

I smile a little at that and watch her as she takes a sip of her coffee before placing the mug back down on the table. I start to think that yes, maybe this is moving too fast, but I can't complain after I've had what I've had with her in the last couple of days. I'm in a bit of a daze, so much of a `bit' that I don't even realize she has me up on my feet and is leading me inside. It takes me the short walk to the bedroom to snap out of said daze and when I do, all I feel is her hands roaming over my body, anxiously trying to rid me of my clothes.

I need to kiss her, to find an anchor because she's making me feel as if I'm about to float away. She's simply insatiable and I know I am too. How I never saw how great of a match we'd be until this happened between us, I really don't know and I really have got to stop thinking this way. I have to just let it happen, just like before. I have to let her have her naughty way with me, I have to let her worship me in any way that she wants and when she's had her fill, I can return the favour--hopefully tenfold even though I know I have nothing on her `mad skills'. She'd disagree with that of course, I know that, but I have to let myself be stubborn about something, right?

It feels like I've blinked and all of a sudden I'm standing in front of her, completely naked with her hand trailing a blazing path down my stomach ever so slowly. I'm so very hyper-aware of every touch, of every kiss, and my whole body feels like its on fire as she slips her fingers through my folds and eases a single finger inside of me. I didn't even know I had my eyes closed until she kissed each eyelid and then my forehead as she backed up towards the bed, her finger fucking me slowly, deeply, filling me, and rendering me almost too weak to walk straight.

"Off," I mutter as I begin to pull her shirt up. "Now."

She laughs softly as she deftly slips her finger out from inside of me and whips off her shirt. My fingers are already at work, sliding her shorts down over her hips. I push her back on the bed and straddle her and she grins sexily up at me as I grind my pussy down into hers. Her hands are sliding up my thighs and they come to a rest on my hips and she pulls me down harder against her, causing us both to moan out at the intimate caress.

"Goddamn, B," she breathes out as I lean forward, my lips inches from hers. "So fuckin sexy."

I moan in reply, unable to coherently form any words right now and I focus solely on the sensational pleasure running through my body. She kisses me to keep me quiet and it's only then that I remember we aren't entirely alone in the house. I laugh as I pull back from the kiss for a moment and she tucks my hair behind my ears as our bodies find a rhythm that's slow yet satisfying.

My heart swells a little as Faith pulls me back down fully on top of her, her arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me close to her. I feel like crying, like laughing, like exploding, like melting as I feel the first bit of fire building deep inside of me. I have one hand intertwined in her hair, gripping lightly and the other trailing along her side. I can feel her shudder lightly as my thumb grazes the side of her breast and I gasp as I stare directly into her eyes, never feeling more connected to her as I do right in this moment. Her tongue flicks out over her bottom lip and I capture it between my lips, sucking softly as I grind down harder against her.

"I love you," I whisper against her lips without thinking twice of the words I'm saying.

"I love you," she whispers right back without hesitation as her hands sweep down my back and grab onto my ass. "Fuck do I ever love you, B."

Again with the feeling that I want to cry, but I hold it back as I close my eyes and let my lips find hers. I could find her lips in the dark; I could find them even if I were blind. They practically call out for me, just as the rest of her does. Just as her heart and soul reaches for my own and wraps itself around me, pulling me in and keeping me there. I might be a fool in love right now, feeling things I never thought I'd ever feel before, but I can't feel anything else. All I feel is her. It's all I ever want to feel for the rest of my life.

"Buffy?" Faith says so softly I barely hear her and I open my eyes and look into hers. I see her soul laid bare right there in front of me. I see everything about her and call me selfish, but I want so much more. "Nobody has ever loved me like you do."

"And nobody ever will," I whisper, smiling as she moans softly, bucking her hips up to meet each thrust. "Nobody will ever know how to love you the way I do."

She groans and takes in a deep breath before crushing her lips against mine. It went from sweet and passionate to something primal, wild, and unrestrained in a matter of seconds. I came hard, almost unexpectedly and bit down on her lower lip, eliciting a deep, throaty moan from her. She came mere seconds after I collapsed on top of her, feeling almost completely spent as the small aftershocks rumbled through my body.

Every time I come with her, it feels like the first time all over again and I know just from looking into her eyes as she breathes heavily, letting herself bask in the afterglow, that she feels exactly the same way. If I only knew when she'd kissed me that this was what it'd be like, I would've never let her take off the way she did. I would've shown her right then and there everything we could be. I would've laid my heart open and let her take it even if she needed a little bit of time to figure things out. I close my eyes, hating how I can't stop thinking about every little thing. I want to just enjoy this moment without a single thought running through my mind. I want to feel nothing but her beneath me, her body shaking slightly as she tries to recover from an intense orgasm. I want nothing more than for this moment to last forever even though I know it can't.

It can't because she has a life to get back to and I have...whatever it is I have here. A life, maybe, but it feels so empty now that I can see what it could be. With her.

I feel so numb that I barely felt her trying to move out from under me at first. I roll off her and lay on my side, watching her as she gets up from the bed and grabs her jacket off the floor. She pulls out her cigarettes as she walks over to the window and she motions if it's okay for her to light up and I just shrug, not caring if she does or not. She leans against the windowsill as she lights her cigarette. I can't stand being so far away from her even though it's just a few feet. I get up from the bed and walk over to her and I stand at her side, her arm easily finding its way around me and I lightly kiss along her shoulder and neck.

"Kept trying to quit," she says softly as she sighs and takes another drag. "Couldn't."

"Doesn't bother me."

"It's funny," she starts and she looks at me as if she's waiting for me to say something. "I never thought I could feel so fuckin' comfortable around you. Half the time before you looked like ya wanted to kick my ass and the other half the time you were kicking my ass."

I laugh as she shakes her head and blinks a few times. "Never again will it be that way. Unless," I say with a smirk to show her I wasn't being too serious, "you give me a reason to kick your ass."

She laughs and it rolls right through me, causing goose bumps to form over my entire body. There's just something about the way she laughs sometimes, the sound of it that touches every inch of me. I stand there and snuggle into her side as she slowly smokes her cigarette, taking a deep breath in between drags. She's thinking about something, I know she is. I can see it written all over her face and in her eyes every time I look up at her. I don't want to ask her what she's thinking about, I know enough about her now to know that I have to let her feel ready to talk to me about whatever it is going through her mind.

I look out the window and up at the sky and watch as the dark clouds roll in overhead. I can only faintly hear the thunder off in the distance and I can feel Faith shiver as the wind picks up and cools down the hot, sticky air. I'm waiting as patiently as I can for her to finish her cigarette. I want to go back to bed, I want to spend hours exploring every inch of her body yet again, finding those spots that made her sigh out in ecstasy and find those spots I've yet to discover that'll make her scream.

I trail my fingers over her stomach, feeling her muscles ripple under the soft touch. She flicks her cigarette out the window and pulls the window almost shut as the rain begins to fall. She leads us back to the bed slowly, her lips easily finding mine before the backs of my legs hit the edge of the bed. I let out a small laugh as we tumble back onto the bed, becoming a mess of limbs as we both struggle to be the one on top. I stop her and pull back from the kiss as we lay on our sides. I slide my leg over hers and pull hers in between my legs.

"Compromise," I whisper and that makes her laugh as she pulls me in closer.

She shifts until I can slide my other leg between hers and we both groan softly as thunder rumbles loudly, shaking the house almost violently. She starts a slow rhythm, rolling her hips against my thigh as she grips onto my hips, encouraging me to do the same. I don't need much encouragement. It feels like my pussy is on fire and the only way to douse that fire is for her to make me come. It's slow, gentle, and it's unlike anything we've done so far. And here I thought we'd done pretty much everything, but it goes to show there's a lot I still have yet to learn when it comes to having sex with women...with Faith.

I'm lost in the moment we've created between us and as much as I want to kiss her, I just stare into her eyes as I thread my fingers through her tousled hair. The way she's staring at me is intense and I see all these small and big hidden promises in her eyes she can't quite say yet. It's all I need though since I feel as if I can see right into her very soul. There's a lot of darkness still inside of her, but there's a lot of light too and she's laying it completely bare for me and I love her even more for that. If it's even possible.

This week is going to be the best week of my life if I can spend most of it here in my bed with her. I know that sounds a little selfish and makes me sound like I'm a whore who wants to do nothing than fuck, than to make love with the woman I'm so desperately in love with. I don't care. We've wasted so much time, so many years, and to have what we have now...I don't ever want it to end.

I try not to think about what'll happen after this week we'll have together. I try not to think about anything really as I feel her hand grip onto my ass, pulling me hard against her thigh. I kiss her as I feel my orgasm building quickly and try not to think of how she can get me off so quickly. I try not to wonder if it'll always be so intense between us because I know it will. It's us. It's Faith. It isn't just us being Slayer's that give us that intensity, that stamina I know many people would kill to experience. It's all us.

I whisper words of love against her lips as we both come together. She's holding me so tight, our bodies feeling as if they are one as a crack of thunder drowns out our moans. I know I just don't feel like we are one, I know we are. And I know she feels it too.

I lay there in her arms, breathing heavily and thinking how amazing it feels to be the one who loves her the way I do. And I know it'll never change, not even if everything turns itself around on us. We'll figure out a way to keep what we have now between us for as long as we can.

And I'm hoping that it'll be forever.

The End

Оставить комментарий © Copyright invalid_reality Размещен: 13/02/2021, изменен: 13/02/2021. 147k. Статистика. Повесть: Фанфик Скачать FB2		Ваша оценка:
Аннотация: хороший фик, жаль что не длинный. PWP. полностью от лица Баффи. в сюжете, в принципе, ничего сложного или нового не нашлось... PWP же... но рассказ это ничуть не портит. Фэйт, наверное, решает что это хорошая идея поцеловать Баффи с порога и быстро смотаться.

invalid_reality : другие произведения.

To Love Her The Way I Do