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  • Аннотация:
    Hyunjin thinks keeping himself away from his soulmates was the best thing for his soulmates. But his soulmates think otherwise.

Table of Contents

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Photograph
 Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/36049306.

   Rating:
   Teen And Up Audiences
   Archive Warning:
   Rape/Non-Con
   Category:
   M/M
   Fandoms:
   Stray Kids (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
   Relationships:
   Hwang Hyunjin/Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Everyone, Kim Seungmin/Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone, Seo Changbin/Everyone, Bang Chan/Everyone, Choi Yeonjun/Hwang Hyunjin, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
   Characters:
   Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin, Bang Chan, Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han, Lee Minho | Lee Know, Yang Jeongin | I.N, Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin
   Additional Tags:
   Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Depression, OT8, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Getting to Know Each Other, POV Multiple, Insecurity, Complete
   Language:
   English
   Stats:
   Published: 2021-12-29 Completed: 2022-03-06 Words: 63,424 Chapters: 7/7

Photograph

by chanestry

   Summary
   Hyunjin thinks keeping himself away from his soulmates was the best thing for his soulmates.
   But his soulmates think otherwise.
   Notes
   A little info before you start reading this one-
   01. Here, soulmates can hear each others thoughts when they turn 18, & they can also block them if they want to. One person can have multiple soulmates.
   02. This fic is mainly centred around Hyunjn's life, but with multiple pov.
   03. I've already written around 30k & still in the process of writing, which would be another 10k I think. So, I've decided to post it in four or five parts max.
   04. The next update would be in friday.
   Happy reading!!!
  

Him against the world

   Hyunjin was 7 when he first heard about soulmates. He learned from his mother that his parents were soulmates. He learned that a person can have multiple soulmates. He knew his mom had two, whereas his dad had only one, Hyunjin's mother. He knew they were happy. & He was happy too. That's all he could understand at that age.
   Hyunjin was eight when he had his first best friend. They met in the park near Hyunjin's school. He was walking back to his home after school, when suddenly a boy around his age stood in front of him, stopping him in the middle of the road. The boy had small eyes & round cheeks. It almost made him look like a squirrel. Hyunjin would've concluded the boy was cute if there wasn't a frown on his forehead. He was looking at Hyunjin as if Hyunjin had murdered his chicken or something. & Hyunjin being the one to be scared easily stepped back thinking the boy would hit him, when the boy only stretched his hand for Hyunjin to take it.
   "Team up with me." The frown on the boy's forehead deepened more as he said that, making Hyunjin blink at him, confusion & surprise, both evident in his eyes. Hyunjin looked behind the boy to see a few kids were playing something. & It looked like they were all in pairs. Realization dawned upon him. The boy wanted to play with them, but he didn't have a partner. Hyunjin looked down at his Ben 10 watch, & bit his lips. It was almost 5, he should hurry back home. But he didn't have the heart to leave this boy alone like this.
   Upon sensing his hesitation, the boy's face fell & he started to retract his hand when Hyunjin suddenly stepped forward & grabbed his hand softly.
   "Let's play." Hyunjin said with a smile, making the squirrel boy mirror him. & He couldn't help but to laugh out loud when the other held his hand tightly before both started running toward the other kids. That's how Hyunjin first met Han Jisung, his first soulmate & best friend.
  
   Hyunjin was 12 when his parents got divorced. He didn't know what to do other than crying alone in his room. It was like everything he knew were nothing but lies. He didn't know how to cope with the lies & the sadness enveloped him. Jisung wasn't around anymore. They both had a fall out when Hyunjin started to avoid the younger one a few months ago. Apparently, his mother had slept with someone else back when his father went out for business & got pregnant with Hyunjin. It all came out when his mom suddenly met that person again after all these years. It turned out that it was his mother's other soulmate & decided that she was better off with him than the one she had spent so many years with. It was a mess in his home. Well, he could barely call it his home now. Jisung kept asking him what happened & Hyunjin didn't know what to tell his friend. He couldn't just say that his mom cheated on his dad & had him, could he? So, he kept avoiding the younger one to avoid the questions too. It led them to multiple arguments, & Hyunjin blowing off at Jisung saying the latter should be more concerned about himself. It was a low blow. He knew Jisung was troubled recently due to the adoption process. He was an orphan; it had been the third time that a couple chose him at first then changed their mind. Because of these incidents, Jisung was often bullied by the other kids in the orphanage. Jisung had been pretty upset even though he didn't show it. & Hyunjin never tried to make his friend uncomfortable by asking more that he was already offered to know. Hyunjin really didn't mean to hurt his friend, but his mind also didn't know what to say other than that at that moment. He didn't like how Jisung had been persistent to know that Hyunjin wasn't ready to share. & Jisung took it hard.
  
   I thought you're different.
  
   That's all Jisung had said before storming off from their hiding place & never came back even though Hyunjin had waited for him every day, wanting to apologize. & Just like that Hyunjin lost Jisung.
  

   Hyunjin's life didn't get better after his parents' divorce. For some reason, his mom & real father didn't want to take Hyunjin with them. He was left with mr. Hwang, who stopped acknowledging him as his son. He became an alcoholic over the years, & abusive toward Hyunjin saying seeing the latter made his blood boil; because Hyunjin unfortunately looked like his mother. Hyunjin never complained, even though he'd often be left with hit marks all over his body. He didn't have anywhere else to go to. It didn't help him when his classmates & seniors in school found out about his mom's affair & started bullying him. There would be nasty words written all over his desk & garbage inside his locker. They'd beat him & lock him inside the washroom for hours, making him miss his classes. & When school would report this to his father, he'd scream at him & beat him again, calling him ungrateful. Sometimes he wanted to stop struggling. He wanted to stop living. It was hard to wake up when he couldn't find a reason. & He was on the verge of giving up when he finally heard them.
  
   Hyunjin was 18 when he first heard the voices in his mind. He was so surprised & scared that he almost cried his eyes out thinking he'd finally gone mad. He cried to sleep that night. The voices didn't remain for more than a few seconds. So, when he woke up the next morning, he thought he just had a nightmare or something. But he was proved wrong the next day. He heard another voice, humming a song he didn't hear before. This time more collected, he decided to google about telepathy & felt his heart warming at the result he found.
   It was his soulmate's voice, or soulmates in his case. One could hear their soulmates from time to time after he turned 18.
   That was the happiest day in his life. He finally found a reason to wake up every morning.
  

******

  
   Getting a scholarship in SNU was another best thing that had happened to Hyunjin. He could finally leave his hometown & start anew. He was a freshman when he first saw Minho, a third-year dance major. Hyunjin had taken dance as his minor, so it only took him a day to stumble upon Minho in his dance class. Minho was almost as tall as him, lean but with a built dancer figure. He had black hair with a hint of grey stripes on them, eyes sharp like cats, thin lips in soft beige pink color. The first time Hyunjin heard the other's voice he felt a sudden pull in his heart. The voice was so familiar, yet he couldn't pinpoint where he heard it. It took Hyunjin almost a month to realize that this was the same voice in his head, who'd often talk about his other soulmate & complain about his juniors being lazy. Yes, Minho had already met with one of their soulmates & from the way he talked about "Sung", it felt like they had been dating for a while now. Maybe Hyunjin didn't need one month to recognize his voice, only if Minho showed his true feelings in front of others, or if Hyunjin didn't have the habit of blocking his soulmates from his mind. The Minho everyone saw in front of them was cold, strict & tsundere. He never replied to anyone directly, there'd always be a bite to his every sentence. But Hyunjin knew that it was nothing but a joke. Minho was caring in his own way. Actually, he found it cute how Minho would often think like a kid.
   It was in the middle of his dance class when Hyunjin recognized Minho. & He almost cried out of happiness. Or, maybe he cried after excusing himself for a bathroom break ignoring the concerned look from Minho & some other classmates of his. He didn't go back to class, and spent the last 30minutes of the class crying inside one of the stalls. He was happy, as well as overwhelmed at the sudden discovery. He was excited, but scared too. He didn't have friends for a long time. He didn't know how to start talking with his soulmate. & Minho already had a soulmate. Hyunjin didn't know what to do. He didn't want to be the reason for a falling out between two of his soulmates. He didn't want to be in the same situation as his mother. So he was really worried.
   How would he approach Minho? What would he say first? Should he even tell Minho about himself?
   Hyunjin didn't know.
  

   After managing to calm down, & giving himself a pep talk that it wouldn't be hard, Hyunjin finally stepped out of the washroom. He'd talk with Minho some other day or maybe never. He needed to compose himself first. Besides, he hoped the room would be empty by now. It's already been 20minutes since their class was dismissed. But unfortunately, it wasn't empty. He could hear voices & laughs coming through the closed door of the studio.
  
   I just need to grab my bag asap & leave.
   Yeah. I can do that.
  
   Hyunjin grabbed the knob with a hesitant hand before twisting it open. With a deep breath he stepped inside the room, eyes on the floor as he walked to the corner where he left his bag earlier. He noticed how the laughter & talks had stopped as soon as he walked inside the studio. He felt eyes on his back, & shrunk more to himself as he grabbed the bag hurriedy & turned back to leave. But a voice stopped him.
  
   "Hyunjin? Are you okay?"
  
   Minho's voice didn't sound strict & cold at that moment. If anything, it sounded concerned & worried. & It made him realize once again that he really didn't need to feel scared around Minho. They were soulmates after all. Maybe it was okay to tell the older one about him, even if he'd only be a friend to his soulmate. He wouldn't want anything else. He could just walk up to the older & tell him that-
  
   "Hyunjin? Wait.. Hwang Hyunjin?"
  
   Another voice interrupted Hyunjin's train of thought. Hyunjin turned back to look at the owner of the voice, & found himself frozen at the all too familiar face in front of him. He didn't have black hair now, it was dyed chestnut brown, small eyes, round cheeks like squirrels.
   Han Jisung.
   Jisung didn't look any better than him. His small eyes were widened comically, lips parted in surprise.
  
   "You know him, Sung?"
  
   Hyunjin couldn't help but to notice how Minho's arm snaked around Jisung's waist, pulling the latter close to him while his eyes travelled between Hyunjin & Jisung. Hyunjin felt his heart drop. It was clear as day that Minho & Jisung were a thing, & Hyunjin was hoping to tell Minho about himself. Maybe he would've, only if Jisung wasn't in the picture. His childhood flashed in front of him again. His mother, torn between two of his soulmates, & ended up hurting one bad enough to ruin his life. Hyunjin couldn't do that to Minho or Jisung. Never. He wouldn't take the risk.
  
   "No." Hyunjin spoke up, voice strained & rough with emotions. He ignored the hurt painting on Jisung's face & walked out from the studio with heavy steps. It was better this way.
  

&

  
   Jisung couldn't sleep that night. He tossed & turned in his bed, making his roommate almost yell at him to stop making noise. But he could care less about Mark's frustrated complaints when his mind was filled with Hyunjin. It'd been six years since he last saw Hyunjin. The Hyunjin from six year ago wasn't this tall, nor did he have long hair touching his shoulder. But Hyunjin was still pretty. If anything, his ex-best friend was prettier than before, even though his eyes were red & swollen, hinting that he'd been crying before he walked inside the studio. Then he remembered that Minho had asked Hyunjin if he was okay. The thought of Hyunjin not being okay & crying somewhere all alone clenched his heart painfully. It reminded him of the time when Hyunjin started to act strange before their fall out. Hyunjin would have fake smiles plastered on his face whenever he came to their hideout to meet with Jisung. At first Jisung didn't say anything to him, waited for Hyunjin to share what was bothering him. But he never said anything. He kept acting around Jisung, & it made Jisung upset. & He started asking Hyunjin what happened, & every time Hyunjin lied with a smile that everything was okay. Jisung knew he was being way too much persistent with the older boy, but he couldn't help it when Hyunjin started coming to their hideout with red swollen eyes.
   A loud sigh escaped from his lips. He got up from the bed & pulled down a grey hoodie before walking out from his room with his keys & phones. He wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Hyunjin's red rimmed eyes wouldn't let him.
  

   Minho opened the door even before Jisung could press the bell. His heart ached watching the younger standing in front of him looking devastated. Without any other words he opened his arms & Jisung immediately melted in his embrace, hugging him back while both still standing in front of Minho's door.
   Jisung had told Minho about his childhood friend before. He told Minho how they met, how close they were, & how their friendship sank with continuous arguments. Minho had seen his boyfriend regret leaving Hyunjin alone back then just because he was too egoistic & hurt. Jisung regretted never going back to their hideout again. & He regretted more for not being able to say a proper goodbye to Hyunjin when he got adopted just a week later. He tried to meet Hyunjin the day his adoptive parents came to pick him up, but the people from the orphanage didn't let him. Minho knew it all. He heard Jisung's cries & thoughts the most. He even heard Jisung thinking about Hyunjin tonight before he came looking for Minho. Jisung never tried to block Minho out of his mind unlike their other soulmates. So, Minho knew the anger, resentment, pain & longing his boyfriend was harboring for Hyunjin.
   "I hate him so much." Jisung's voice was shaky making Minho tighten his hold around Jisung.
   "You don't. You're just upset that he lied." Minho replied in a soft voice making Jisung whine.
   "Stop making sense all the time!"
   Minho couldn't help but to laugh at that.
  

******

  
   "Are we really doing it?" Felix whispered, holding Chan's hand tightly. They both had been waiting inside the airport for their flight for a while now. They both made the decision two months ago, & had been preparing for this moment carefully & secretly.
   None of their families knew about them leaving Australia yet. They didn't tell them knowing they wouldn't get any support from their families. It was already hard to convince their own families about each other. Both families asked them to forget about their male soulmates as soon as they turned 18. Chan being the eldest one by 3 years was the one who had to suffer the most. He wanted to be a music producer; he had been writing songs ever since he was 13. But his family not only disregarded his dream, but also his soulmates who slowly became his lifeline even though he hadn't met all of them. In the middle of his third year, he met Felix in a dance show. He volunteered there hoping there would be opportunities to find one or two agencies to slip his profile to them. Well, he couldn't manage to slip his profile, but did manage to meet one of his soulmates, Lee Felix.
   Felix was in his twelfth grade, preparing for his final year. He was an amazing dancer. Actually, it was him who found the older one. According to Felix, he had this feeling that one of them was near him. He said he could hear Chan's frustration loud & clear in his mind. He heard Chan's voice just before his performance & he just had to run backstage & look for anyone who could be his soulmate. & that's when he noticed someone standing a bit far from the other volunteers, looking at a file in his hand with a sad smile playing in his lips. Felix hesitantly walked toward the other; excitement, hope, fear all running crazy in his system.
   "It's you, right? You're the one who keeps singing that song, right?"
   Chan had stared at him dumbfounded before he realized what was happening. He nodded his head & Felix didn't waste a second to throw himself on the other, hugging the daylight out of Chan. At first Chan was hesitating, still confused & too shocked to believe anything. But when he finally hugged the other back, it almost felt like they were two puzzle pieces fit together. Just then Felix's name was called from the stage & he left Chan with a promise to meet after his performance again. Chan smiled at that. Eyes curved into little half-moons, dimples on show. Felix felt as if he was on cloud nine. & He would be lying if he said it didn't make the butterflies that he didn't even know he had in his stomach go crazy.
   They clicked pretty well without even trying. Just as Felix had felt before, they were puzzle pieces, fitting with each other perfectly. They were different, yet complemented each other the best. Felix informed his parents about Chan, & unfortunately, just like Chan's family, they also didn't support him having male soulmate, let alone having seven of them. It was a mess after that, both families pressuring them to break off the bond & choose some random girl as their life partner. It had been so bad that Chan went into depression. Losing his dream & soulmates altogether was killing him slowly. While Felix could only cry in his room; his parents decided to lock him up until he decided to listen to them. For some reason, Chan & Felix's soulmate bond was stronger than the ones they had with the other six of them. They could hear each other more; they could feel each other's pain more. Chan concluded that it was most probably because they were closer to each other, while the others were who knew where. They tried to block their minds to their other soulmates, knowing their situation would only worry the others more if they ever get to listen to their destructive thoughts.
   Four months. For four months they didn't have any contact. Both still pressured heavily by their families and stopped trying to contact each other. But it all ended when Felix enrolled in the same university as Chan as a dance major after his graduation. He had moved into the dorm as a freshman & Chan was in his final year. They met again. & This time no one was there to stop them from basking in each other's warmth. But the pressure from their clueless families to date some girl hadn't stopped. & Chan asked Felix if he'd leave with him, somewhere where their parents wouldn't be able to find them. Felix didn't think, not even for a second before he said "yes" with a blinding smile of his.
   He was willing to go anywhere if it was with Chan.
   They decided to take up multiple jobs to secure some savings. They worked hard for those two months. Living in another city wasn't easy. They both knew that. So, even though they almost worked to death they never complained, they never wavered from their decision.
   A week before their departure, when Felix was busy packing his stuff, Chan came to his dorm around 10pm. Felix was surprised to see Chan nervously fidgeting in front of him. It worried him. He hadn't heard any negative thoughts from Chan recently, it confused him. But his confusion soon was replaced by surprise & shock when Chan gave him two plane tickets to South Korea. Chan had managed to get a scholarship for Felix in one of the Korean universities, secretly sending Felix's profile to them a month ago. When Felix's application was accepted Chan also decided to transfer his credit to the same university. He didn't manage to get a scholarship, but Chan decided to think about that later. Felix's future was secured there, so he didn't think of anything else & finally decided to inform his boyfriend with two tickets to South Korea, to their other soulmates.
   It wasn't the initial plan. But Felix loved it more than the initial one. He couldn't be more thankful to Chan for deciding to go to their soulmates.
  
   So, when Felix asked if they were really doing it, he hadn't actually wavered from their decision. He was just scared.
   What if their soulmates didn't like them?
   What if they didn't like him?
   Unlike Chan, he couldn't speak Korean. How were they gonna communica-
   "They'll love us" Felix's eyes widened when he realized that Chan had heard his thoughts. Chan was smiling at him, dimples on show. "They already love us if you haven't noticed yet. Remember when we heard one of them thinking how much they wanted to meet us? Thinking he had the best sleep the night he realized he could hear us?" Chan asked, smiling. Felix couldn't help but to smile fondly at the memory.
   That soulmate of theirs most probably had been having a bad day when he suddenly started thinking about how he had the best sleep when he realized he could hear his soulmates. It almost made Felix coo at their unknown soulmates when Chan explained everything in English for him. This was another thing that bonded him & Chan closer. Chan literally took a permanent job to translate their soulmates' thoughts in English until Felix could understand by himself.
   "Yeah." Felix looked at Chan before his sweet soft smile turned into an excited grin.
   "Let's go find them, hyung"
  

******

  
   It had been eight months since Hyunjin had found Minho & Jisung. Hyunjin realized either he was way too dumb or he was just oblivious not to notice Sung would often think about a certain Jinnie. Hyunjin, not even in his dream, ever thought that Sung would be Jisung, & Jinnie would be him. So, it really took him a long time to digest the fact that he & Jisung were soulmates.
   Hwang Hyunjin. And, Han Jisung.
   Soulmates.
   Hyunjin wanted to laugh at his fate. Universe decided to put him in a soulmate bond with a person who despised him. But then again, he couldn't be sure when he remembered about the times when Jisung had thought of him. Jisung often wondered how Hyunjin was doing. But that thought had always ended with Jisung saying he shouldn't care. So, Hyunjin wasn't sure what to think of it. On the other hand, Minho started to act like Hyunjin didn't exist after that day. Well, he had already predicted that. Minho wouldn't like anyone who hurt his soulmate.
   But he was too, Minho's soulmate, right? So, no matter how hard Hyunjin tried to console his heart, it hurt badly.
  

&

  
   Hyunjin had been looking for an empty seat in the cafeteria, carrying a tray with his lunch when suddenly a boy with platinum blonde hair, pretty freckles on his face walked up to him & offered him a seat at their table with his deep voice. It almost startled Hyunjin, how deep was the other's voice. The boy spoke in English & Hyunjin was glad that he learnt basic English in high school, otherwise he'd have been standing in the middle of the cafeteria looking at the freckle boy like a dumb shit. He accepted the offer with a grateful smile & followed him at the further back of the cafeteria. But his heart fell when he realized the freckle boy was sitting down at a table where none other than Han Jisung & Minho were sitting already, bickering like a married couple.
   "Guys! I invited someone to sit with us. Please behave." The boy informed while giggling as he took a seat opposite of the couple. The couple, on the other hand, looked at Hyunjin with a blank face, clearly not very happy or excited about Hyunjin joining them. & Hyunjin just wanted to run away at the moment. But the other boy had already moved to the next chair offering Hyunjin to sit beside him.
   & He couldn't find it in himself to refuse the boy.
  
   With a tight-lipped smile at the occupants of the table, Hyunjin sat down next to the boy & watched the latter introducing himself as Felix, & his soulmates, who were apparently Jisung & Minho. & Hyunjin felt his breathing stop for a few seconds at the mention of soulmates. He tried to remember the voices in his head & realized Felix's deep voice did sound familiar. He found it hard to believe that Felix, a foreigner boy, was his soulmate. & He also found it hard to believe that Jisung & Minho had included Felix in their relationship. & Hyunjin didn't know anything about it. He cursed his tendency to block out his soulmates at that moment.
   They must really like Felix, Hyunjin thought.
   Just right then another boy with short chocolate brown hair sat down beside Felix, while greeting everyone with the same accented English like Felix & a dimple smile. & What shocked him more was the voice of the other person, who introduced himself as Chan. Hyunjin knew this voice too, like it was imprinted in his brain.
   It was the same voice that used to sing in his mind. The same voice that would be humming a different tune most of the time Hyunjin heard him. Another soulmate.
   Hyunjin's brain was malfunctioning as he tried to process everything. He was literally sitting with his four soulmates, who had no idea who he was. It didn't take much for Hyunjin to realize that they all decided to be in a polyamorous relationship. While Hyunjin was frozen in his seat, panicking internally & trying to think what to do when Jisung decided to speak to him for God knows what reason.
  
   "So, Hwang" Hyunjin felt a chill running down his spine hearing Jisung calling him.
   Did he find out?!
   He hesitantly looked up from his lunch, scared eyes meeting Jisung's curious ones.
   "Haven't met your soulmate yet?"
  
   The question was easy & simple. Hyunjin could've just answered the question in plain yes or no. But when he heard Felix asking what Jisung just said & then Minho & Chan started translating Jisung's question in English for Felix to understand, something in Hyunjin snapped. He felt jealous that he was one of them, yet he couldn't be one of them. & Thus, ended up giving Jisung a curt answer.
  
   "Nothing that concerns you, Han." Hyunjin replied in a clipped voice, making the other four go silent at the sudden cold tone of his. It was Minho who broke the silence after a few seconds.
   "Hwang, don't you think you should change your behavior toward my soulmate?" Minho asked...no, warned Hyunjin with a tight-lipped smile. Hyunjin saw Jisung visibly panicking as he tried to stop his soulmate going off on his ex-best friend.
  
   Soulmate. Right.
  
   "Maybe, your soulmate shouldn't have asked something personal to begin with." Hyunjin glared at Minho, before picking up this half-eaten lunch & leaving the table, but not before bowing to Felix, thanking & apologizing to him in one breath.
  
   Hyunjin straight walked back to his dorm, not in a mind to attend any lectures for the day. He was exhausted both mentally & physically. He didn't have energy to deal with the shit universe was throwing at him all the time. He laid down on his bed & closed his eyes. He was so tired. Evading Minho & Jisung was already exhausting him mentally, now Chan & Felix were also here. Hyunjin had been blocking his mind for a long time now, so didn't even know that the four of his soulmates had managed to find each other already. He was sitting with four of his soulmates today. Two of them already hated Hyunjin, & most probably, Felix & Chan were gonna hate him too after the shit he had pulled just a while ago.
  
   Well... he deserved it, didn't he?
  

   Next few months went by very slowly for Hyunjin. He found out that he & Felix actually had the dance class together, where Minho was their captain. & He also found out that Felix was literally an angel. Even after his outburst with Jisung in the cafeteria, Felix tried to be his friend, apologizing even though he didn't have any reason to begin with. & No matter how hard Hyunjin tried to, it was hard for him to avoid Felix when he'd smile at Hyunjin. His smile reminded Hyunjin of the sun. It was that bright. Hyunjin might be having a bad day, but one smile from Felix would be enough to lessen the heaviness in his heart.
   Then there was Chan. The most warm hearted & kind person Hyunjin had ever seen or met. He met with Chan again after their dance class, thanks to Felix. He came to pick Felix for lunch & talked with him as if nothing had happened a few weeks ago. Hyunjin tried his best to keep his heart calm, because at the end of the day he was alone. He didn't want to let his heart fall for his soulmates more when he wouldn't be able to be with them. The Australians invited him to join them for lunch, & Hyunjin was about to say no when Chan suddenly assured him Jisung or Minho wouldn't be there. It's not that Hyunjin didn't want to see Jisung & Minho, it was just that.... Watching them made him sad. Only if he wasn't this much fucked up, he might've been clinging to his soulmates like a koala now. Let them love him too. But, nevertheless, he did follow the Australians to an old studio. They had a good time there. Hyunjin learnt more about his soulmates & their life. He found out how they met during a dance showcase, they told him how Chan surprised Felix with the news of coming to Korea to look for their soulmates.
   It almost made Hyunjin cry.
   Chan shared how he was taking a semester break to earn some money before he could start his final year. They didn't have much backup as they both were students when they decided to come to Korea. Hyunjin wanted to ask about their family, if they were helping them or not. But then, he decided not to ask them anything more than they were offering. He didn't want to pry. He only wished if he could help them somehow. That's when Felix mentioned that Minho & Jisung had suggested they all move together in a bigger place. A place with at least three or four rooms since they were eight in total. Hyunjin's heart broke when Felix giggled dreamily while saying that.
   They were eight. Felix wanted to meet him. Stay with him. All four of them wanted to.
   He watched Chan smile at Felix fondly, agreeing with Felix with nods.
   But they wouldn't want to when they'd realize it was Hyunjin all along. They wouldn't want to stay with him then.
   Hyunjin smiled at them, wishing them luck before making an excuse to leave. & When he was about to leave Chan invited him to visit the cafe where he works part-time. Saying, he'd be performing next week. & Who was Hyunjin to tell him no. He promised to watch his performance & Felix promised to pick him up from his dorm.
   Chan was an amazing singer. The way he sang it hit Hyunjin's heart like an arrow. It was comforting the way his voice would sound in Hyunjin's ears. & It was cute, how he'd often lock eyes with Felix & smile while singing, showing his dimples.
   Hyunjin felt his dying heart fill with warmth, noticing how much the duo loved each other. It made him happy.
   He knew he was making it hard by being friends with Felix & Chan. But he couldn't help it. They cared about him, even if it was just because he was their friend. At least they cared, when no one else did. He still had his mind blocked, thus didn't really have any idea what was going on in his other soulmates minds. But he prayed every night for their safety & happiness, even if it was without him in the picture. But being friends with Felix & Chan also made him face Jisung & Minho more than before. But, Hyunjin tried not to let it affect him. He'd often excuse himself whenever Minsung would be there with them. & Hyunjin could swear he'd felt someone staring at him when he'd walk away from the other four. But he never had the courage to look behind to see who it was. Jisung stopped trying to bother him after the cafeteria incident, Minho as usual didn't acknowledge his existence. But Hyunjin was okay with it. As long as his soulmates were happy, he was okay with it.
  

******

  
   Hyunjin felt both relief & dread settle in his heart when the year end vacation started. He was relieved because he didn't have to be around his soulmates pretending not to care. & Dreaded because he was going back to his town, to his father. It had been a long time since he had seen his father, not that Hyunjin missed him. He was just afraid that he'd get beaten again. He decided to take up multiple jobs when he'd go back home.
  
   The first few days went by with Hyunjin hiding in his room while his father was around. When he came back his father was way too drunk to get up from the couch where he had been sitting for God knows how long. He didn't have to face any physical abuse, but yeah mentally he was drained because his father wouldn't stop yelling at him for coming back, for looking like his mother; again. In a week, he found himself 2 jobs making him stay out of the house most of the time. It was tiring, but better than staying trapped in the house with his father. His first job was in a library in the morning shift. It didn't pay much as only a few people came to the library to borrow books. After all, it was the digital era, everyone had phones & access to pdfs nowadays. But the owner was an old lady in her 70's, who claimed that she needed a helper to keep the area neat & clean. & Hyunjin gladly agreed to help her without any pay. But the lady was insistent on paying Hyunjin, even if it was a little that she could offer. Hyunjin didn't mind, if anything, he liked the calmness of the library. His second job was in a grocery shop, he took both the afternoon & night shift, hoping to stay away from his house even at night. He didn't feel safe there. Of course he barely had a will to live, but that didn't mean he wanted to die in his father's hands. Besides, after meeting his soulmates he was doing a bit better than before. Their presence around him alone was helping him somehow. But the universe never really liked him to stay happy or positive. It always crushed Hyunjin down to earth, making him realize that he was just a mistake.
  

   It happened around two weeks before his vacation ended. Hyunjin just started his shift at the grocery shop when a few boys around his age came inside, talking loudly. He decided not to pay attention to them & focus on the book in his hands, when suddenly a voice startled him by calling his name.
   "Wait- Hwang?! Is that really you?"
   Startled, Hyunjin straightened up to look at the intruder & felt his heart drop when he realized it was his high school bully, Choi Yeonjun.
  

&

  
   Seungmin was bored. He decided to visit his friend's hometown to spend his vacation, but he realized he didn't really get along with them outside the university. Of course he didn't mean it in a bad way, it's just that their personalities outside the university were very different. & It bothered Seungmin. He wanted time alone for himself. But as he didn't know the place well, unfortunately he had to stick with those friends of his. That's how he ended up in a grocery shop near Yeonjun's highschool one afternoon.
   They had decided to watch movies at night, so went to the shop to buy some snacks & drinks. There was a boy behind the cash counter, his long back hair loose over his shoulder successfully hid his face behind them. He didn't look up when Seungmin & his friends entered the shop, nor did he look at what they were doing in the back aisle like a few cashiers Seungmin had seen before in Seoul. Seungmin noticed the boy had a book in hand, & all his focus was on it.
   Seungmin walked further inside with his friends & picked up a few small snacks & a coffee for him. He waited for his friends to pick theirs before all headed toward the counter. The boy was still unaware of the crowd approaching him, it made Seungmin wonder what the boy was reading. They placed the items on the counter & the boy finally noticed. He placed the book beside him before standing up tall & started to make the bill when Yeonjun suddenly spoke up.
  
   "Wait- Hwang?! Is that really you?"
  
   Yeonjun was too loud for Seungmin's liking, but that wasn't the matter here. The boy, who was called Hwang a few seconds ago, looked startled & Seungmin's mind stopped working for a second.
   He was pretty. Like really pretty.
   & That was coming from Seungmin, who never really cared much about people around him. But, soon he frowned when he realized the boy looked pale as his eyes shook while he was staring at Yeonjun?
  
   What was happening here?
  
   Soon he got the answer when Yeonjun decided to open his mouth. & God forbid, Seungmin really wanted to throw a punch or two at the loud mouth boy.
  
   "He's the one I told you guys about! Hwang bastard Hyunjin! His mother left him with his alcoholic not-real-dad later. Haha..." Yeonjun started to laugh like a hyena with a few others following him. Seungmin inhaled a deep breath to calm himself down when he heard that. The boy, Hyunjin, was gripping the edge of his hoodie tightly & lowered his head in shame. He was visibly shaking, scared & ashamed because of Yeonjun & his friends.
  
   "Guys stop this nonsense. Let's just pay & leave" another friend of theirs, Kyuhyun, tried to stop the shit that was going on, but Yeonjun only waved a hand at him before looking back at Hyunjin.
  
   "Heard you went to Uni? People there know what you are?" Yeonjun asked in a mocking voice. Hyunjin looked up, red eyes brimming with tears, which only made Yeonjun laugh.
  
   Yeonjun suddenly leaned close to Hyunjin making him stumble back in fear.
  
   "A disappointment." Hyunjin froze, & Yeonjun smirked. "You are a fucki-"
  
   & Seungmin lost it.
  
   "Get the hell out of here"
  
   Stunned Yeonjun looked at Seungmin, who was trying hard not to blow up more in front of the shaken up boy.
  
   "What?" Yeonjun asked, too shocked to see Seungmin glaring at him.
  
   "I said get the fuck out of this store before I drag you out by myself, Yeonjun. & I don't think you wanna create a scene in front of your highschool. I bet many people know you here, right?" Seungmin warned, voice cold & threatening, before glancing toward Kyuhyun.
  
   "Can you pack my bag & bring it here? I'm not going back to that house again." Seungmin asked him, voice a bit softer, but strong enough for others to know he wasn't in a mood to get into a mess. His friend nodded before leaving the store without even sparing a glance at Yeonjun, who stared at them with wide eyes.
  
   "Min, you're threatening....us?" Yeonjun snickered, before stealing a glance at Hyunjin who looked more bad now. "..for this basta-"
  
   "It's better if you don't complete that sentence Yeonjun. Also, as I said earlier, it is better for you not to create a scene here."
  
   Yeonjun glared at Seungmin, before looking back at Hyunjin who flinched slightly. & After a painful few seconds Yeonjun left the store fuming, with his friends behind him. Seungmin finally let out a sigh before looking back at the boy behind the counter worriedly. He really didn't want to create a scene, at least not in front of the boy, but Yeonjun was a shithead, and wasn't getting the point. He stepped closer to the taller boy, careful not to scare him more.
  
   "Hey... you okay?" Seungmin asked, but got no reply. So he tried again.
  
   "They left already. They won't bother you, at least for now" Seungmin spoke in a soft voice, hoping to comfort the other boy. This time he got Hyunjin's attention. The said boy finally looked at him & Seungmin's heart clenched painfully.
   His eyes were blood red, face stained with tears, lips wobbling like a child.
   At that moment Seungmin wanted nothing more than to pull the boy in his arms & never let go. & He did it. His mind suddenly went on autopilot. He walked behind the counter carefully not to scare the other more before pulling the crying boy in his arms. Hyunjin was taller than him, but still the way he melted against Seungmin made the latter think it was perfect.
  
   & Suddenly a thought crossed his mind, making him scoff at himself.
  
   Maybe Hyunjin belonged here, in his arms.
  


   Hyunjin was one of a kind. He was undeniably pretty & kind. & He was way too soft-hearted for his own good. It worried Seungmin. What worried him more was how Hyunjin had mentioned that he was used to this & would be okay after a while as he tried to stop crying.
   Seungmin didn't like it. Hyunjin shouldn't be used to this kind of treatment. It wasn't his fault that their parents were like that.
   After Hyunjin had calmed down a little, Kyuhyun came back with two bags on his tow. Seungmin figured he too was fed up with Yeonjun today. Hyunjin on the other hand kept apologizing to them for causing inconvenience for them. Kyuhyun kept assuring him that it was nothing, they were already tired with Yeonjun acting like a dick 24/7. That made Hyunjin let out a small giggle & Seungmin smile at the sight.
   After spending a few hours inside the shop suddenly it dawned upon them that Seungmin & Kyuhyun didn't have any place to spend the night. It was Hyunjin who meekly offered that they could stay at his place if they wanted to, but he also warned them about his father's drunk behavior hesitantly. But, beggars didn't get to choose. So, Seungmin & Kyuhyun ended up sneaking inside Hyunjin's house at 11 of the night following Hyunjin's instructions. Everything went smoothly as Hyunjin's father seemed to be out already when they reached home. & Truth to be told, Seungmin was relieved at that. He wasn't ready to watch Hyunjin going through another breakdown like this afternoon again.
   He felt overly protective over the boy he just met. Weird.
  

   Hyunjin's room wasn't that big. But enough for the three of them. Hyunjin had brought ramen & cola from the store, which ended up being their dinner. Hyunjin also managed to bring a few old blankets & pillows from them, saying these were all he could offer. But those were more than enough. Kyuhyun fell asleep as soon as his back hit the double layered blanket. Hyunjin & Seungmin were awake, lying together awkwardly trying to sleep. But they couldn't. Instead they started talking about anything & everything until Hyunjin's fell asleep.
   Seungmin learnt a few things about his new friend today.
      -- He was an art major, he liked to draw almost anything that caught his eyes.
      -- He didn't have friends. Except for him & Kyuhyun he guessed. & This one, Seungmin assumed himself.
      -- He was extremely shy, & vulnerable to defend himself from anyone. & Mentally, he was broken. & Seungmin blamed Hyunjin's childhood for that.
      -- He hid a lot of things from Seungmin today. Like a pale yellow colored diary, & a few marks in his arms. Seungmin wondered if those were done by Hyunjin himself or his father. But nevertheless, he didn't like it.
      -- Hyunjin liked to make the people around him happy. Even after his breakdown a few hours ago, he still managed to smile & hold up small conversations with Seungmin & Kyuhyun to make them comfortable. He cared less about himself, & more about the people around him.
      -- Hyunjin looked the prettiest when he smiled. The way his eyes would curve into half-moons, & the way he'd throw his head back while laughing, everything was endearing to Seungmin.
   Seungmin never really thought much about his soulmates. He never really liked the system to begin with. He saw his older brother leaving his wife 5years after their marriage just because he finally found his soulmate. It almost broke his sister-in-law. She lost all her happy glows & smiles when Seunghan left. & Seungmin would always hate his brother for this. If this was what would happen to everyone, then why would they get married to people who weren't their soulmates in the first place. Besides, Seungmin had always been the more realistic one. Thinking with his brain, rather than his heart. He wanted to fall in love someday, but not because the universe had paired him up with someone. He wanted it to be genuine. So, even though he could hear his soulmates' thoughts every now & then, he never felt him getting attached to them romantically. Yes, he adored them. But that's all. Nothing more.
   As Seungmin stared at Hyunjin's face that was only a few centimeters away from him, he realized what was happening was new to him. He had read about love at first sight before. He wondered if he was experiencing the same thing with Hyunjin. Then again, what if Hyunjin was his soulmate? What if he felt attracted to Hyunjin only because they were soulmates?
   There was a high chance that Seungmin was just overthinking. But, it could happen.
   The older boy had fallen asleep a while ago, leaving Seungmin to stare at him as if he were some kind of fairy. Hyunjin's eyes were still a bit puffy from crying earlier, his lashes were long & curved. Seungmin could bet that those could rival any girl's. His lips looked plump & soft, but red from biting too much. He guessed it was most probably due to Yeonjun's incident; Hyunjin was almost having a panic attack right there. Just thinking of Yeonjun was making Seungmin mad, he really would've felt better if he had thrown a punch or two at that dickhead earlier. He sighed heavily. He should stop thinking of that. His eyes landed on Hyunjin once again, & unknowingly a smile formed on his lips.
   & For the first time, Seungmin thought that having a soulmate wouldn't be that bad, if it was Hyunjin
  

He didn't knew, but they were falling for him

   Chapter Summary
   Hyunjin meets another of his soulmates, & panics not knowing how to deal with it.
   While his other soulmates slowly starts falling for him, without even knowing who he was to them.
   Chapter Notes
   See the end of the chapter for notes
   Going back to the dorm was something Hyunjin had been anticipating ever since he went back home. As usual, being in his hometown, around his father & his drunkard friends had never really been a good scene for him. Only thing that made him a bit happy while his stay in hometown was Seungmin & Kyuhyun. They didn't stay a long time with him, but was enough to make him feel better. They had exchanged numbers before Seungmin took a bus back to Seoul after the night that all three of them spent together in Hyunjin's crumpled room. It was a week ago. Now that he was once again back in the city, Seungmin had asked him if they could meet later someday. It made Hyunjin happy. He finally got a friend.
   But there was another thing he got after coming back to his dorm. A notice that he'd be having a dorm mate from that semester. He wasn't really happy with the idea of having a dorm mate, but he wasn't really against it either. He was just upset that he wouldn't be able to have his own time in his room anymore. He wouldn't be able to cry whenever he'd feel pressured or whenever he'd feel down. He wouldn't be able to spend night after night with his sketchbook & charcoal pencil on his hands, drawing his soulmates. He wouldn't be able to do anything for himself. But, having a dorm mate might also distract him from his demons. Sighing for the umpteenth time he started to unpack.
  

&

  
   Jeongin was excited to join his classes in the university. He turned 18 recently, & finally could hear his soulmate's thoughts. He must agree that it was chaotic at first as sometimes all of them would be thinking loudly at the same time. He decided to complain about this as soon as he met them.
   Jeongin was certain that he'd meet them soon. Because one of his soulmates somehow slipped the name of the university where he was studying. & Another time he heard an excited voice saying he was happy to meet three of them, & couldn't wait for the other four. So, he put 1 & 1 together, & realized that he could find four of them if he decided to go to the same university. So, he applied to SNU even though his mom wasn't very happy with him leaving the town. But, he was glad she didn't try to stop him when he told her about his soulmates.
  
   He arrived in the dorm four days before the semester began. & Met a tall senior named Hwang Hyunjin, who was apparently his dorm mate. The first thought he had after seeing his dorm mate was-
  
   A 3D anime character
  
   & Even after staying with the other for two days now, he thought the same about his Hyunjin hyung. There was no way a normal person could be this pretty. Hyunjin was very friendly & comforting, & Jeongin prayed to God to not make him fall for this tall beauty when he had seven soulmates already. It'd be a mess if that happened, & just by thinking of it he got shivers run down his spine. & Most probably he was thinking about Hyunjin a lot for these two days that one of his soulmates tried to scold him for being whipped for another boy. & What surprised him that another one actually knew someone named Hyunjin too! But most of his thoughts were confusing.
  
   One time, he'd be crying & whining about how much he missed his friend Jinnie? Or Hyunjin.
   Another time, he'd curse his Hyunjin like a birth enemy.
  
   What was wrong with this soulmate of his?
  
   Jeongin met his first soulmate in the cafe. He took a part-time job as a waiter. His name was Bang Chan, & he was from Australia. He was 4 years older than Jeongin. He recognized Chan due to his songs. Jeongin loved to sing, & this particular song that one of his soulmates had been singing a while ago was stuck in his mind. He also started to hum the song whenever he was alone. Chan heard him one day & claimed it was the same song he wrote a few days ago. Then Chan told him about Felix the sunshine, Minho the mom & Jisung the crackhead. They were all from the same university & older than Jeongin. That night Chan offered to walk him back to his dorm, but not before promising a lunch with his other soulmates the day after. & Upon reaching his dorm, it turned out that Chan & Hyunjin knew each other. They were friends. When Hyunjin asked Chan what he was doing in front of his room, Chan told him about being Jeongin's soulmate with a bashful smile. & Even though Jeongin was smiling ear to ear, he could feel his ears getting warm in embarrassment. But the smile faltered a bit when a weird look flashed in Hyunjin's eyes before they landed on him for a few seconds.
  
   Something made Jeongin think that Hyunjin wasn't happy. But why wouldn't he?
  
   After Chan left, Hyunjin started to avoid Jeongin's eyes for some reason. He was rushing inside the room like a panicked mouse, as if he wanted to get out of the place. Jeongin asked him if everything was okay, & got surprised by the way Hyunjin violently flinched hearing his voice. The older one lied. He replied that he was okay in hurry before leaving the dorm saying he had a project to finish & wouldn't be back before next morning.
  
   Just like that Jeongin's happiness left with Hyunjin that night.
  

******

  
   Minho was staring at his soulmates fondly when Chan sat down beside him. Jeongin, their youngest soulmate had joined them in lunch & was now making panicked faces after Jisung & Felix started to shower him with love.
   "I didn't sign up for this" Jeongin once exclaimed, face flushed in bright red while Felix cooed at him & Jisung placed another kiss on his cheek. It's been one month Jeongin met the others, yet wasn't used to the way Jisung & Felix would pamper him all the time.
   "Get used to this. They haven't shown their original form of love yet" that sentence made Jeongin widen his eyes in horror before Felix once again pulled him in a tight hug. It was funny.
  
   "I feel old." Chan suddenly commented, eyes glued to the trio in front of him, a small smile playing on his lips.
   Minho snorted, before replying that Chan should be feeling it. It would've been funny if he didn't feel old after meeting Jeongin. It made Chan glare at him playfully, before both broke into soft giggles. That's when Minho noticed a familiar figure walking inside the cafeteria, looking here & there like a meerkat.
  
   Hyunjin had the upper portion of his hair tied back in a ponytail, allowing his forehead to be seen today. He was wearing a light colored, full sleeve t-shirt & a white apron stained with dried color over it. There were a few paintbrushes poking out from the pocket of his apron, almost making him look like a pro painter. Minho watched him look around the room one more time before his eyebrows pulled into a small frown & lips formed a small pout.
  
   Cute .
  
   "Oh, it's Hyunjin that you're looking at." Chan suddenly spoke up, making Minho press his lips into a thin line realizing what he was thinking a few seconds ago.
   "You know, our Jeonginnie is rooming with him. They seemed to be on pretty good term" Chan smiled at the artist boy who was now staring at his phone for some reason. Of course Minho knew that, their youngest had been praising Hyunjin every chance he got. He even declared that Hyunjin was the best hyung he ever had. Hyunjin was likable like that. Minho knew it from the beginning. But never voiced it out.
   Just at that moment Jeongin's phone started to ring & the boy shook Jisung & Felix off him to bring out his phone from his pocket. His eyes instantly brightened seeing the caller id on the screen before he too, started to look around the place like Hyunjin did a minute ago & soon broke into a blinding smile after spotting.... Hyunjin?
  
   They were supposed to meet here?
  
   Minho watched Hyunjin's face brighten up noticing Jeongin, before it turned rigid noticing Minho staring at him. He broke their eye contact & signed Jeongin to go to him, & Jeongin without saying anything, almost ran to the taller boy. All four of them were now watching Hyunjin & Jeongin. They were talking about something, before Hyunjin gave an envelope to the younger one. Jeongin smiled brightly at that, making Hyunjin smile at the younger boy fondly. Hyunjin ruffled Jeongin's hair, messing it up more which made the latter whine loudly. The older boy only laughed fondly at the younger before he turned to leave. Jeongin waited for the other to leave the cafeteria before joining back at the table.
  
   "What was he doing here?"
   "You should've invited him to join us!"
  
   Jisung & Felix, both asked at once, making Jeongin look at them surprised.
   "I left a few things back in the dorm this morning & asked hyung if he could bring them. That's why he was here." Jeongin replied to Jisung, before turning to Felix. "He said he had a project to work on" he replied to Felix in English while Chan took the envelope from his hand to have a look. Minho looked over Chan's shoulder to see what it was.
  
   A club form?
  
   Minho & Chan read the club form while Felix mentioned that he missed the artist & the artist had been busy recently a lot. Jisung kept quiet while Felix & Jeongin talked. Minho could guess why. But he couldn't keep quiet further when Felix mentioned that Jisung & Hyunjin were childhood friends.
   "Wait! Wait! So you're the one who kept whining about Hyunjin hyung one second, & keep cursing him the next second?!" Jeongin stared at Jisung with wide amused eyes as the older boy struggled to find words. & Watching him struggling so badly, other four occupants of the table couldn't help but to laugh at him making Jisung let out a heavy sigh.
   "You guys should stop bullying me now! Even the baby of the group is bullying me!" Jisung whined, making Jeongin scrunch his nose at the nickname while the others laughed at them more.
   "If you miss him that much, why don't you go talk to him instead of cursing him half of the day, hyung?" Jeongin asked, finally taking a bite from his lunch. He didn't notice how the others except for Felix went quiet at that. Felix still couldn't understand Korean that well, so he didn't catch what Jeongin said.
   But Jisung on the other hand felt embarrassed that he was exposed like this. Of course he knew that his soulmates could hear his thoughts, he never really tried to block them. But he didn't expect to get called out by Jeongin all of a sudden. & If he told the truth, he did think about settling things with Hyunjin, because he himself knew that he was also at fault for whatever happened between him & Hyunjin.
   But sometimes his mouth ran before his brain could think. & This time that happened too.
  
   "Never! He can go to hell & watch me if I care about that shithead! & He deserves those curses!"
  
   Both Minho & Chan let out defeated sighs while Jeongin stared at him amused, knowing very well that it was a complete lie. Felix on the other hand, asked Chan what they were all talking about. Suddenly someone coughed behind Jisung & Felix, making all of them look up at the intruder. & Suddenly Jisung's mind went blank.
  
   What was Hyunjin doing there?! Didn't he leave a while ago?!
   Did he hear me?!
  
   Everyone watched the taller boy with battered breath, especially Minho. He could swear he saw the flash of sadness in Hyunjin's eyes just a few seconds ago before they suddenly went back to being cold again. Hyunjin just pulled out a small id card like thing from his pocket & handed it to Jeongin who was looking at Hyunjin concerned.
   "Hyung-" Jeongin tried to talk, but Hyunjin stopped him saying he was running late & would talk later. Then he left without sparing a glance at the other four.
   "What just happened?" Felix asked, looking worried at the sudden down mood.
   Jisung sighed. "I fucked up, didn't I?" Jisung spoke in pure English, frustrated with himself. While Chan, Minho & Jeongin gave him a sorry look, Felix ended up saying something without knowing any context.
   "I mean you fuck up almost everyday in something, what's new today?" Felix asked with pure confusion written all over his face as if he just didn't roast Jisung. This made Jisung stare at him with wide eyes, unable to believe what Felix the sunshine just roasted him (unintentionally) while the other three almost got stomach aches from laughing too much.
   But even though Felix managed to lighten up the mood cluelessly, Minho couldn't forget the look in Hyunjin's eyes. For some reason, no matter how nonchalantly Minho acted around Hyunjin, he always felt a tug in his heart to go to the taller boy & listen to him, all his worries & problems that he'd been hiding inside; just like he would do with Jisung always. But, Minho never really did it. He didn't know if it was okay to feel like that for someone who wasn't his soulmate, moreover, was a friend of Jisung.
   He really didn't know.
  

&

  
   Hyunjin had lost his focus on the painting he had been working on all night. What Jisung had said about him kept ringing in his ears even though two hours had passed after that.
  
   Jisung didn't care. & Hyunjin deserved it.
  
   A broken laugh escaped his lips as his eyes suddenly went blurry with the tears he had been holding back for the past two hours. He finally broke down. The tears he had been holding on for the past one month because of Jeongin's presence around him were finally falling down. His heart was heavy & aching so badly that he wanted to throw it away. He didn't want it anymore when it only kept him in pain. He was tired. So fucking tired now that he wanted it to stop. He tried to wipe the tears away, but a new batch of tears would stain his face in a second again. He tried to regulate his breathing, but it wasn't working. He was hyperventilating while his mind scattered in different thoughts, open & vulnerable for his soulmates to finally hear him after so long.
   & They heard them. All bad & negative ones.
  
  
  
   The first one to hear those was Minho. He froze between the routine he was practicing for the past half hour.
  
   I don't want it anymore. Make it stop hurting. I can't live like this!
  
   Horror painted on his mind Minho tried to communicate with whoever was crying like that. The knowledge that one of his soulmates was hurting so badly, made his heart ache. He couldn't digest it. It wasn't any of the four he found already. It was one of the three who they hadn't managed to find out yet.
  
   "What do I do?!" He screamed in frustration when he remembered soulmates couldn't talk in telepathy, they could only hear their thoughts.
  
   Thoughts! Suddenly Minho got an idea & started to think about positive stuff, soon a few familiar voices joined him. 6 of them exactly. They were all thinking positive things, & when the negative thoughts started to lessen slowly, he realized that their plan was working. Their soulmate was calming down slowly. & When it completely stopped, Minho finally felt peace in his mind.
  

******

  
   Seungmin & Hyunjin often texted each other. They couldn't meet a lot even though both were in Seoul due to the different schedules of their universities. But that didn't mean Seungmin couldn't skip a day when he wanted to see Hyunjin. It was the last day of Hyunjin's mid exams when Seungmin decided to visit SNU, & surprise Hyunjin. He ditched all his morning classes & went to a gift shop. He wanted to pick something nice for the older boy for doing his best. Recently, he noticed Hyunjin's messages being lifeless. The usual excitement, cute stickers were nowhere in their recent text messages.
   & It worried Seungmin. A lot.
   It had been a few weeks that one of his soulmates' had a serious breakdown. Seungmin was caught off guard at the sudden pained voice in his head. Then he heard a few other voices in his head, thinking every kind of positive thing. & Seungmin followed them. He was glad that it worked, it helped whoever was in pain that moment. Right after that incident Hyunjin also started to act a bit off.
   Needless to say, it only strengthened Seungmin's doubt about the possibility of Hyunjin being his soulmate. But didn't dare to pry much, afraid that Hyunjin would shut him off. So he waited for Hyunjin to tell him on his own. But even after two weeks, Hyunjin still didn't say a word about himself, & tried to act like he was all okay when Seungmin could easily see through his lies. So he decided to take the matters on his hand, but then found out Hyunjin's mid was starting. He decided to wait for another two weeks to approach the older boy. Which was really hard.
  
   Seungmin had been pretty impressed as he walked down the hallway of SNU. He never visited this university before, but had heard a lot about it. He really liked the place, & the silence of the hallway, while the students were most probably breaking their head over their mid questions. Around thirty minutes later, the hallway started to get crowded, hinting that the exam was over. & Seungmin felt excitement building inside him. He didn't have to look for Hyunjin for long. He was found with a soft looking boy with platinum blonde hair in the middle of the hall. The older boy had mentioned two names before in his texts: Felix & Bang Chan, claiming they were his friends. Which actually surprised Seungmin, because he hadn't heard about them from Hyunjin when they met back in the older's hometown. & If Seungmin remembered Hyunjin's description of his friends correctly, then this boy with Hyunjin was supposed to be Felix.
  
   A literal sunshine when he smiles.
  
   Seungmin couldn't agree more. But his eyes soon went back to the person he had come looking for. Hyunjin. Seungmin hid the gift behind his back & walked closer to the duo who were talking about something animatedly. Well, it was just Felix who was talking & Hyunjin was just staring at him with a fond smile on his lips.
  
   "Hyunjin..." Seungmin called out to the other when he was closer to the duo, making the boy in question look at him & widen his eyes as if he had seen some ghost.
   "Seungmin?! How- what are you doing here?!" Hyunjin's shock turned into a pleasant surprise to see his friend in his university. The smile on his face was wide & lovely as he rushed to Seungmin & hugged him like an excited baby. Seungmin laughed along, hands automatically wrapping around Hyunjin's body, enjoying the warmth coming from it.
   "I came to see my friend since he forgot about me." Seungmin faked a complaint making Hyunjin let go of him giggling & hitting his arm softly. "We text everyday, Min! Oh! Wait- let me introduce you guys!" Hyunjin grabbed Seungmin's hand & pulled him where Felix was standing awkwardly, brows slightly furrowed in confusion.
   "Min, this is Felix the sunshine. & Lix, this is Seungmin, my friend from Yonsei!" Hyunjin spoke in English & Seungmin realized that he was right. Hyunjin had mentioned before that Felix couldn't speak Korean that well yet, so they'd often converse in English. Seungmin & Felix exchanged greetings before the former gave Hyunjin the gift he bought for him earlier.
   "This is for doing your best... in the exams" Seungmin smiled at Hyunjin's surprised face.
   "Wait- you didn't need to bring anything-"
   "I do what I want, Jinnie" Seungmin cut the other off, making the taller one pout adorably. Suddenly, Felix spoke up in his deep voice, & excused himself saying Chan was waiting for him. Seungmin had always been an observant one. So, it didn't miss his eyes that Felix wasn't really that happy to see him. Why? He didn't know yet. But soon found out when he was about to leave with Hyunjin to have lunch somewhere else.
  
   Does Jinnie like him? He never told me though.
  
   A deep voice suddenly resonated inside his mind, making Seungmin whip his head back at the speed of light to the direction where Felix was a few seconds ago. & His eyes widened when he saw Felix was still standing there, now looking like a deer caught in light as his eyes locked with Seungmin's. Felix rushed away from the hall while Seungmin kept frozen in his spot. Hyunjin, concerned, asked him if he was okay. Seungmin didn't know what to answer. He didn't want to worry the other & said that he was. But the fastened beats of his heart were telling him otherwise.
  

&

  

   Upon reaching Chan's old studio Felix saw Minsung duo already sitting on the old rundown couch, talking with Chan sporting his cute smile as usual. It instantly brought a bright smile on his lips.
  
   "Lixie! Where have you been?" Jisung whined cutely in English while opening his arms for Felix who melted onto the other's arms smiling.
  
   "I was just talking with Jinnie"
  
   Jisung straightened up at that. He hadn't been able to talk to his childhood friend after that incident a few weeks ago. He was scared to approach the older boy, who had started to ignore his existence. Hyunjin actually had stopped talking with everyone except for Felix & Jeongin. & It made Jisung guilty as hell knowing Chan was also being ignored because of him.
  
   "How is he?" It was Chan who asked softly, making Jisung spare a glance at him.
  
   "He'd been pretty....down? I haven't really seen him smiling much recently." Felix replied in a dejected voice, "I asked him if everything was okay, he'd only smile at me & leave with some excuses." Felix sighed, feeling sad all of a sudden.
  
   "Jeongin.. he said the same thing. Hyunjin barely spends time in the dorm recently. He seems down all the time." Minho informed the others what Jeongin had told him a few days ago. Chan then proceeded to translate it in English for Felix, who looked more upset that his friend wasn't doing well. Then he remembered Seungmin, the one who made Hyunjin genuinely smile today. Felix should've been happy, right? His friend was finally smiling. But he felt a bitterness inside his mouth when he spoke again.
  
   "But, he was smiling today. A lot."
  
   This got others' attention. Three pairs of eyes were on him, but Felix didn't notice them. Head still full of the way Hyunjin hugged Seungmin, smiled at him carefreely.
  
   "A friend of his came to visit him. Hyunjin was very happy to see him. He was...smiling so big y'know. He was really happy." Felix said, eyes on his fingers playing with the hem of Jisung's shirt. So, he didn't notice when the other three shared a worried look.
  
   Felix was sad about Hyunjin meeting his friend?
  
   Chan got up & kneeled down in front of Felix, who looked at Chan like a kicked puppy.
  
   "Hey... what happened?" Chan asked softly, holding Felix's hands, while Jisung tightened his arms around Felix more.
  
   "I think... I'm jealous?" Felix said a bit confused.
  
   "Of what baby?" Chan asked again.
  
   "I'm- I'm his friend too y'know... but he never hugged me like that, nor he smiled so brightly at me ever." Felix ranted, voice still soft.
  
   "There's always this invisible boundary between us. You noticed it too, right?" Felix asked Chan, but didn't wait for a reply.
  
   "He'd always maintain a distance with us. Even when we're texting, he seems to be so closed off."
  
   "& Watching him so carefree with someone else is making you sad?" Minho asked in his broken English, making Felix nod hesitantly.
  
   There was silence after that. All of them tried to process what Felix told them.
  
   "You just need to tell him, Lixie. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel sad." It was Jisung who spoke up all of a sudden. "I've been friends with him before, so if there's one thing that I can assure you is that you just need to tell him all these, & the next second he'd be all over you like a freaking koala. He is clueless most of the time." Jisung snorted at the end, making the other three laugh at that.
  
   "That I can agree. He often looks lost & clueless around people" Minho snorted, making the others laugh.
  
   "But, when are you going to talk with him?"
  
   Jisung pouted at Minho's question.
  
   "I donno! I tried y'know! But that idiot is tall & for some reason it makes me feel nervous just by looking at him!" Jisung whined, making Minho shake his head. & Once again, Chan started to translate it into English for Felix.
  

******

  

   Seungmin had a great time with Hyunjin. The older one had been smiling too, so he guessed Hyunjin had a great time too. They had been so invested in their gossip that they lost track of time. It was around 9 in the evening when they finally called it a day. Seungmin offered to walk Hyunjin back to his dorm, & kept insisting until Hyunjin agreed to.
  
   "Y'know you really didn't have to. But I really appreciate it. Thank you" Hyunjin smiled softly at Seungmin as they both stood outside the dorm.
  
   "Well, firstly I wanted to. & Secondly, I like seeing you smile. So, you can't blame me" Seungmin said nonchalantly, making Hyunjin blush at the statement. Seungmin found it adorable how Hyunjin's cheek suddenly turned red.
  
   "Kim Seungmin! Stop flirting with your friend!" Hyunjin huffed while rubbing his cheeks with both hands, as if it'd turn his blushing cheeks to normal ones. Seungmin can't help but to laugh at the adorableness of the older boy in front of him.
  
   "Can't help it, when my friend is so cute & adorable." Seungmin pinched Hyunjin's cheek making the other boy stare back at him with his mouth opened wide & red spreading to his ears & neck in a few seconds.
  
   "That's it! I need to sleep! Good night!"
  
   Hyunjin was about to turn back to leave when Seungmin suddenly grabbed one of his wrists. Hyunjin turned back, ready to ask Seungmin to stop embarrassing him. But his mind suddenly went blank when a pair of soft lips landed on his own.
  
   Three seconds & then Seungmin stepped back, away from Hyunjin's personal space. Hyunjin was still frozen in his place, lips still parted & eyes wide. His brain was malfunctioning right now as he stared at Seungmin in disbelief.
  
   Seungmin laughed at Hyunjin's state before one of his hands reached out to tuck a few strands of Hyunjin's hair behind his ears lovingly.
  
   "Have a good night, angel. I'll see you soon." Seungmin smiled bashfully for one last time, before turning on his heel & walking away, leaving Hyunjin to collect his thoughts alone.
  




   Unknown to Hyunjin & Seungmin, three other people were watching them from a distance for a while now. Jisung was holding his breath as he watched the scene in front of him. Someone was kissing Hyunjin while the latter stood frozen in his place, eyes opened wide. Beside him was Minho & Jeongin, who also went silent as they watched the whole thing happen in front of their own eyes.
  
   "Sung... let's go."
  
   Jisung looked at Minho, who was looking at him with his lips pressed in a thin line. He wanted to say something, but not even a single word came out from his parted lips. Minho took a deep breath before looking at Jeongin.
  
   "Innie, you go inside. I'll walk Jisung back to his dorm." Minho tried to smile at their youngest. Soon, Jisung felt a pair of arms wrapping around him, & relaxed immediately realizing it was Jeongin.
  
   "Good night, Hyung."
  
   Jeongin's voice was unusually soft at that moment, making Jisung feel more vulnerable than he was already feeling. The youngest pressed a small kiss on his cheek before going around to hug Minho. Then he left & they watched him cross the road & enter the dorm. Hyunjin was gone too. Most probably back in his room.
  
   Hyunjin.
  
   Jisung felt Minho squeeze his hand before pulling him toward the opposite direction of Jisung's dorm; to Minho's apartment. & Jisung followed him quietly.



&

   "Sung..."
  
   A tear slipped down his face as soon as he saw Minho kneeling down in front of him. Minho was looking at him with a look that almost mirrored his. Except, Minho wasn't crying, nor was he an emotional mess like Jisung. But Jisung could see the hurt flashing in Minho's cat-like eyes. & For the first time in his life, Jisung wished Minho couldn't read his mind.
  
   "I'm sorry" Jisung let out a painful sob making Minho cradle his face softly.
  
   "You don't need to feel sorry Sung. It's okay" Minho tried to assure him, voice lowered down in whisper.
  
   "It's not! You- you know it's not." Jisung shook his head in denial, "I already have you. I've Felix, Chan & Jeongin too! We've three more people to find, yet here I'm..." Jisung paused, not knowing how to say it.
  
   "You can't control who you love, Sung" Minho smiled at him, as if it was a normal thing to happen. "He's been your first love. The one who you loved & adored from when you were just a child. You can't just unlove him. I get it. & I know others will understand too" Minho tried to comfort the younger boy, who was still crying like a baby. Minho himself teared up, watching Jisung like this. & He really wasn't lying when he said that it was okay. Even before he met Jisung, he could tell the boy was in love with his ex- best friend. Because, Hyunjin was always in his mind.
  
   Jinnie loved this flavor.
   Jinnie would've loved to come here.
   I hope Jinnie is okay.
   I don't give a fuck about Jinnie.
   I miss Jinnie.
  
   So, when Minho realized that Hyunjin from his dance class was the same Hyunjin that Jisung couldn't forget about, he was jealous. He tried to act tough around Hyunjin, acting as if Hyunjin didn't exist. But, soon realized that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't just unsee the tall boy. Something in Hyunjin drew Minho like a moth to fire. He acted like he didn't care, but he noticed the other all the time. He watched Hyunjin distancing himself from others. He watched the other befriends Felix & Chan. He watched Hyunjin smile with them. He watched how Hyunjin would recoil when Minho would be near him, & it pained him to think that he was scared of him. Was he being too strict?
  
   Maybe he was.
  
   Because, at first he was jealous that Jisung loved someone who wasn't his soulmate. Then, because he was mad that Hyunjin didn't even acknowledge Jisung, making the latter upset to the point that he cried in Minho's arms. & Lastly, because he could see himself falling for the boy too.
  
   Hyunjin didn't even have to do anything. But Minho fell for him anyway. & Minho could tell, it wasn't only him & Jisung. The way Felix acted today after meeting with Hyunjin's friend, it seemed like he was also unknowingly falling for the same person who wasn't their soulmate.
  
   "Will you feel better if I tell you that.... I also like him?" Minho smiled when Jisung stared at him, surprise evident in his face.
  
   "W-what? B-but I thought you didn't like Jinnie?!"
  
   "Well, I did like him, & That's why I tried to ignore him." Minho shrugged while Jisung's jaw hung open. Minho grinned at that. His confession made Jisung stop crying.
  
   "So, don't worry about it." Minho gently wiped the tear stains from Jisung's face, "We'll figure it out together."
  
   "But his soulmate..." Jisung's voice sounded small as another batch of fresh tears came out suddenly. He remembered the kiss.
  
   "Lix said it was his friend, didn't he? I don't think he'd lie about that, Sung. Besides, it was the boy who kissed him all of a sudden. It wasn't Hyunjin who did it." Minho felt irritated just remembering the scene. The boy kissing Hyunjin & then tucking his hair behind his ear.
  
   "But what if-"
  
   "Sung. Think positive, okay? I said it, didn't I? We will figure something out. & As for the boy being his soulmate, I think there's a person who could help us with that." Minho smirked at Jisung, who looked lost for a few seconds before his eyes brightened up.
  
   "Jeongin!"
  




   But little did they know that the person they thought could help them, wasn't really doing any better than them. When Jeongin entered his & Hyunjin's room, he found the older sitting on his own bed, a dazed expression on his face. He didn't even notice that Jeongin had come back.
  
   Is he still thinking about the kiss?
  
   Jeongin felt a sudden wave of sadness & irritation hitting him. He almost screamed murder if it weren't for Jisung holding his hand back there, equally shocked as Jeongin when they saw the kiss happen. It almost felt like a drama where the heroine was getting kissed by a villain in disguise of an admirer.
  
   Well, that was most probably a bit too much. But, no one could blame Jeongin for feeling so bitter at the moment. He had been harbouring a crush on his roommate ever since he first saw him. But, he never really thought much about it. Because-
  
      -- He thought of it as a puppy crush.
      -- Hyunjin wasn't his soulmate.
  
   He thought it'd go away, but it didn't. It only grew more, making him confused what to do with this crush of his. He already had seven people in his life. Would they be okay with him liking someone who wasn't one of them? Well, he guessed Jisung would be okay. He figured out Jisung's hidden feelings long ago. Besides, the older one wasn't really subtle about it. But what about the others? He kept thinking that, & finally when he decided to forget his feelings toward his Hyunjin hyung, he had to see someone kiss Hyunjin.
  
   For the love of God! Universe could've made him realize his feelings for Hyunjin in some other way too! But no! It decided to make him sit on the front seats & watch Hyunjin getting smothered by someone who wasn't him!
  
   "Oh! Innie! When did you come? I didn't even notice!" Hyunjin spoke up, finally noticing Jeongin in the room.
  
   You would've noticed if you hadn't been thinking of the fucking kiss.
  
   "Hyung, do you have a boyfriend?" Jeongin suddenly asked, making Hyunjin go blank for a few seconds before he flushed in bright red all of a sudden.
  
   Why the hell is he blushing like that?!
  
   "Wha- I-I don't..." Hyunjin stuttered as he looked away from Jeongin. Suddenly, busy fixing his perfectly made bed.
  
   Thank god!
  
   "Then, who was that kissing you a while ago?" Jeongin asked directly, making Hyunjin look at him in shock.
  
   "Y-you s-saw that?!" Hyunjin's eyes were wide as his neck turned redder than before.
  
   "Was he your soulmate?" Jeongin asked, not giving Hyunjin time to think properly.
  
   "What? Seung- he.. No! He isn't! He's just a friend!" Hyunjin replied, head almost a mess trying to process everything. He really didn't expect anyone to see, or Jeongin to interrogate him like this. His soulmate defense mode got activated all of a sudden at the moment. & On the other hand, Jeongin felt relieved. That idiot wasn't Hyunjin's soulmate. But-
  
   The dickhead still kissed Hyunjin!
  
   "So... You mean you kissed your friend?" Jeongin asked as he took a step toward Hyunjin; the latter was now sitting on his bed, mind messed up to the max.
  
   "No! I didn't- i-it was him! I-I don't know what came to him that he suddenly k-kissed me! He was most probably pulling my leg! Nothing else!"
  
   Hyunjin was so busy explaining himself that he didn't notice that Jeongin was almost evading his personal space. Jeongin smirked at that. He wanted to coo the older boy at how adorable he was looking. But instead of doing that he decided to stop for now. He didn't want to take any step about Hyunjin before he'd talked with his soulmates. He needed to know first if they were okay with Jeongin sharing his love with Hyunjin. He didn't want to do anything that could upset his soulmates. So he took a step back, & held a rumbling Hyunjin by his shoulders making him look at Jeongin with wide clueless eyes.
  
   "It's okay, Hyung. I was just curious. Didn't mean to interrogate you or anything like that." Jeongin smiled innocently at the older one.
  
   "Oh..." Hyunjin couldn't speak anything else. He dumbfounded, watched Jeongin walk back to his side of the room before grabbing a towel to take a shower.
   Chapter End Notes
   Next update is on Tuesday!!!
  

Scared & broken [TW]

   Chapter Summary
   Hyunjin's life finally takes the worst turn that's ever possible, rendering him into nothing but broken pieces of the boy he was.
   & He decides to run. But, fate has a different plan for him.
   Chapter Notes
   Kindly go through the tags once again before you start reading this chapter!
   See the end of the chapter for more notes
   Changbin wasn't really fond of people even though the line of his work needed him to socialize 24/7. He was a drop out, who worked in a tattoo shop. But then again, he loved what he was doing, so he needed to suck it up & smile at everyone he'd be meeting 24/7.
  
   He closed the shop around 10 of the night, & decided to meet with one of his friends from a local cafe. Upon reaching the cafe, he found his friend animatedly talking with two boys around his age. Without thinking much he lazily made his way to the trio, & was soon noticed by his friend Jinyoung.
  
   "Just the person I've been looking for. Binnie, come here!" Jinyoung excitedly called him out, making the other two look back at him. He slightly bowed at the strangers as a greeting before he slipped behind the counter, near the barista.
  
   "Guys, this is Changbin. The one I've been telling you about. & Bin, this is Chan'' Jinyoung pointed at the short haired male, before pointing at the other one with blonde hair, "& this is Felix. They're from Australia."
  
   Mention of Australia caught Changbin's attention. Chan & Felix greeted him again while they shook hands.
  
   "Hey... I've been hearing a lot about you ever since I managed to get your friend to talk to us. It's really nice to meet you." Chan smiled showing his dimples, & Changbin mirrored it.
  
   "I hope he only said good things. You can't really trust anyone nowadays." Changbin snorted, making Jinyoung spit out a series of complaints & the Australian duo laugh.
  
   "Believe me when I say he only mentioned good things. Which actually made me wait for you to come, when I was supposed to leave a while ago."
  
   Changbin's eyebrows raised in confusion.
  
   "You want a tattoo?" Changbin asked while taking a sip from his iced Americano that Jinyoung just left for him.
  
   But Chan shook his head smiling. "I don't think I'm up for burning my skin yet. I was actually hoping to talk to you about something that's more related to healing." Chan's smile never faltered while Changbin's face got clouded with confusion, which was soon replaced by surprise.
  
   "What do you think about music production?"
  
   Just like that, Changbin managed to get Chan's number & an address on his phone.
  


&

  
   Changbin would be lying if he said that he wasn't impressed by Chan's talents & skills in music production. Chan was an amazing songwriter, as well as a producer. Only if he was scouted by an agency, Changbin knew the other would get famous soon. & Changbin could tell this because he himself was a songwriter & hobby rapper. He had been into many small underground competitions over the years, so he knew when he saw a gem. & After hanging out with Chan & his soulmate Han for a few days he realized this was fate. The three of them together decided to form a group called 3racha.
  
   Han was an ace according to Changbin. He could sing, write & rap like a pro. Changbin was literally speechless when he heard the other rapping like his rent was due, & the next moment he was hitting a high note with a female key. Besides, the boy was literally the mood maker of their group. Always happy & bouncy on his feet, teasing them around all the time. As they got close over the few weeks, Changbin learnt that Chan actually had 4 soulmates: Jisung, Felix, Minho & Jeongin. He hadn't met the last two before, so Jisung proposed an idea to have dinner with all of them together. Changbin accepted the invitation happily. & That's how he found out that those five were his soulmates.
  
  
   They were in the middle of eating the delicious meat that Minho & Felix had passed on their plates just a few seconds ago, when Changbin mentioned about a song he heard his soulmate humming a few months ago & he wished he could write that along with his soulmates. It was Jeongin who suddenly laughed hearing that & mentioned how they found their soulmates because of the songs Chan had been writing all these years & Changbin's soulmate was also writing songs all the time.
  
   Coincidence, right?
  
   The table suddenly went quiet after that, all dumbfounded while Jeongin was still chewing the beef without noticing the change of atmosphere around him.
  
   "By any chance, you guys don't have 8 soulmates, do you? Or, Chan didn't really write a literal love song to recognize his mates, did he?" Changbin tried to lighten up the mood not knowing he was only clarifying the doubts of others. "If any of that happened then that would be another coincidence actually" Changbin chuckled while picking up another piece of meat to stuff it in his mouth. But when he noticed that it was still silent, he finally looked around the table & got confused watching everyone staring at him as if he had eaten their shares of meat, which wasn't the case here at all. He got confused for a second before realization settled into him.
  
   "W-wait.... For real?!" Changbin flabbergasted, exclaimed, the half chewed meat almost choking him in the process, making the others laugh in disbelief & excitement.
  
   Who knew it was this easy to find their soulmates.



&

   "So... I have a confession to make." Suddenly Jeongin spoke up after their dinner, making five pairs of eyes settle on him. He felt himself blush at the sudden attention he got from his hyungs, but did his best not to show it. But soon realized that he wasn't successful when others started to coo at him.
  
   "Okay, stop it! Now listen to me!" Jeongin whined, making the others laugh. But soon everyone went silent, waiting for him to speak. Jeongin knew this was now or never. He had to tell them. It's already been a few weeks since that fucking kiss incident. Besides, he needed to know if his soulmates were okay to let in another person in their relationship. So he took a deep breath, & let it out in one go.
  
   "I like Hyunjin hyung, like in the same way I like you guys. So, I needed to know if you're okay with me trying my luck with him & if you guys are willing to let him in even though he isn't one of us."
  
   The table was quiet for a few seconds, before Minho decided to speak up.
  
   "How come Innie is braver than us, Sung?" Minho was in awe, still having it hard to believe what their youngest had just said. Jisung was only staring at their youngest wide wide eyes, still processing everything.
  
   "& Before anyone says something, I'd like to inform you guys that Me & Jisung..." Minho paused & held Jisung's hands tightly, who suddenly looked nervous as hell, "We both like Hyunjin too, & wanted to know if it was okay with y'all. But yeah... I definitely didn't see this coming from Jeongin." Minho leaned back on his chair with a small chuckle & Jisung leaned on him immediately.
  
   "Uhm... I might like him too." Felix said with a shy smile, making Minho, Jisung & Jeongin smile in return.
  
   Now it left Chan & Changbin. Chan's face was blank, while Changbin's was filled with confusion.
  
   "Uh.. Who's Hyunjin?" Changbin asked, clearly not understanding what was happening. He just found five of his soulmates, & somehow he was about to get another non-soulmate boyfriend too? What on earth was going on here???
  
   Jeongin grinned at the question, & proceeded to narrate everything from the beginning which had Jisung whine at every 5 seconds of the story.
  


&

  


   While the five of them were busy narrating Hyunjin & Jisung's story to Changbin, Hyunjin was actually sitting inside a local diner with Seungmin at the same time.
  
   "I lied to you." Hyunjin had his head bowed down, shame & guilt eating him up from the inside. It had been weeks since he last spoke to Seungmin. After that night, he literally stopped contacting the other, scared to face the truth. He didn't want to lead anyone on. Of course he liked Seungmin, more than he should. But, to him that wasn't right. He didn't want to mess up everything by letting someone in, moreover that someone wasn't even his soulmate. So, weeks later he finally decided to come clean with Seungmin & texted him asking if they could meet. Seungmin agreed without saying anything else.
  
   "About what?" Seungmin's voice was gentle, but steady.
  
   Hyunjin hesitated for a few seconds before sighing loudly.
  
   "I already met my soulmates. They... they just don't know that I'm one of them."
  
   "Is it Felix & Chan?"
  
   Hyunjin nodded dejectedly, making Seungmin take a deep breath. His suspicion was right. He could hear Felix's thoughts & now Hyunjin said Felix was his soulmate. Means, Seungmin was right about Hyunjin being his soulmate. A heavy weight vanished from his heart at the information. He wanted nothing but to hold Hyunjin close & kiss him, but he decided against him. Hyunjin was still hiding from his soulmates.
  
   Why? How long had the boy been blocking them from his mind?
   & How'd he react when he'd find out that Seungmin was one of his soulmates too?
  

   "I'm so-"
  
   "I'm not mad, Jinnie." Hyunjin looked up at Seungmin surprised. Seungmin smiled at the older boy before stretching his hand over the table for Hyunjin to hold it. & When Hyunjin hesitantly held it, Seungmin's smile grew bigger.
  
   "I've met mine too, & they don't know about me, yet. & I won't lie, I do adore them. A lot. But I also like you, genuinely. & I can promise it's not a phase Jinnie."
  
   Hyunjin frowned in confusion at Seungmin's heartfelt confession. He could tell that the other wasn't lying. But what was there to like about him? He'd always heard that he was a disappointment, his presence was ominous. Then why would Seungmin like him?
  
   Hyunjin couldn't understand.
  
   Maybe Seungmin wouldn't like him once he'd get to know how fucked up Hyunjin was. He wouldn't even look back at him, just like the others.
  
   Like his soulmates, who hate him without even knowing anything about him.
  
   A bitter smile tugged on his lips as he stared at his & Seungmin's hands. He slowly pulled back, making Seungmin call his name worried.
  
   "I can't.." Hyunjin paused for a second before correcting himself. "I don't think of you... more than a friend." Hyunjin looked up at Seungmin who looked hurt. He didn't want to hurt the only person who was making his life a bit bearable. But he didn't have a choice. Besides, they weren't soulmates. Hyunjin was already hopeless about his future, but what if Seungmin's soulmate was waiting for the latter? What if one day Seungmin left him when he'd found his soulmate? & What if, Hyunjin managed to fuck up their friendship by allowing Seungmin in? So many what ifs, so many risks. & only solution was Hyunjin himself. He would have to take a step back. For the betterment of everyone; his soulmates & Seungmin.
  
   He stood up without any other word & bowed to Seungmin, apologizing again before he left the restaurant with heavy steps. Tears blurred his vision as he walked down the road leaving Seungmin behind. He couldn't even look back when he heard the other call his name. He only increased his pace, hoping the other wouldn't follow him.
  
   This was better. They were better off without him.
  


******

  

A week later~
  
   Jeongin was surprised to find Hyunjin packing his bag when came back to the dorm around 11 of the night. Worried & scared he asked the other where he was going in the middle of the night.
  
   "I got a call from.. home. They... need me there."
  
   Upon hearing the reasoning, Jeongin felt relief washing over him. Hyunjin was just planning to visit home.
  
   "When are you coming back then?" He asked, taking a place in Hyunjin's bed to have a better look at the older. & When he noticed how red & swollen Hyunjin's eyes were, he felt an alarm bell ringing in his mind.
  
   "Hyung, are you okay? Is everything alright in your home?" Jeongin asked, voice laced with worries making Hyunjin let out a heavy sigh.
  
   "My mom, she came back. She wants to meet me."
  
   Came back?
  
   Jeongin was confused. He didn't know much about his hyung's family, so he could only guess what Hyunjin meant by that. & The way Hyunjin said that, Jeongin guessed Hyunjin was from a broken family. & It must've been long since he last saw his mother. That explained the older's red-blooded eyes. Jeongin felt bad, he didn't like seeing the older like this. He liked it more when Hyunjin would smile. & He hoped once his hyung came back, he'd be smiling again.
  

&

  

   Hyunjin wasn't lying when he said his mom came back. He did want to spend a few days alone to collect the broken pieces of his heart one by one, but didn't really think of running back to his hometown for that. It was the text he got from his father that made him leave for his hometown in the middle of the night.
  
   Jeongin was pretty worried about him. Hyunjin could tell. He even wanted to drop Hyunjin to the bus stop, but it meant the younger one would be walking back home at this hour. So, Hyunjin declined when the latter insisted again. He promised to update Jeongin from time to time, before he left the dorm just with his shoulder bag.
  
   The journey back home was peaceful. He finally got time alone, & used it crying silently in the back of the bus. Something in his heart was telling him it was okay to let his soulmates & Seungmin in. It was okay to let them love him. But, there was a louder voice in his mind, screaming at him that they would be disgusted with him when they'd find out about his birth secret. They'd hate him realizing Hyunjin couldn't function properly without hurting himself. They wouldn't love him knowing Hyunjin couldn't love himself. & Just like that, the voice in his mind won over the voice of his heart.
  

   Hyunjin hesitated to get inside his house when he heard laughter coming from inside. It'd been so long since he last heard someone laughing in his home. After his mom left, there was only yelling, cursing & crying here. & If Hyunjin wasn't at home, then it'd be just his father & his drunk talking. So, it felt weird to hear the sudden change in his home.
  
   With a deep breath Hyunjin finally pushed the gate open & stepped inside, failing to notice a familiar figure watching him from a distance.
  
   The sound of laughter was clear now. There were a few male inside.
  
   Did mom bring anyone else with her?
  
   Confused, Hyunjin hesitantly walked further inside the house & tried to look for his parents. He found his father in the living room, drinking & laughing with three other men Hyunjin had never seen before. His heart felt uneasy. Something wasn't right here.
  
   "D-dad? Where's..." Hyunjin gulped when he noticed the four pairs of eyes landing on him.
  
   "...Where's mom?" Hyunjin asked in a fearful voice while taking a step back when one of the strangers laughed out loud at his question.
  
   "Ah! Hyunjin-ah! Don't be shy! Come here!"
  
   Hyunjin didn't want to. He wanted to run away & never come back. But the way his father called him, asking him to go near him made Hyunjin weak. It's been years since his father called his name so lovingly. So, even though his mind was screaming at him to run, he stepped forward & sat beside his father hesitantly. Eyes darting everywhere, scared of the environment.
  
   "So?" Hyunjin's father spoke up, a smirk on his face as he stared at the strangers.
  
   "Well, I'm down. I didn't think he'd be this pretty" one of the man eyed Hyunjin, who was frozen in his place.
  
   What were they talking about?!
  
   "Me too. Actually, I wouldn't mind keeping him instead of just one night." Another one said, while the other two beside him nodded while looking at Hyunjin like a meat on sale.
  
   Hyunjin shell-shocked, tried to get up hurriedly, but his father's death grip on his wrist didn't let him.
  
   "D-dad, please..." Hyunjin begged with tears already flowing down his face as he struggled to break free from his father. But the man only snorted loudly, before pushing him down the floor roughly. Before Hyunjin could even move away his father grabbed his jaw, making him groan in pain.
  
   "I'm not your fucking dad!" Mr. Hwang snorted loudly, "& This is the least you can do to repay me after I've let you stay here all these years. So, be a good one, & help me pay my debt. Because, that's the only thing you can do."
  


******

  
  

It'd been around two weeks & there was no news of Hyunjin. Last update Jeongin got from the older was on the day Hyunjin left.
  
   From: Jinnie hyung ьщ
   I safely arrived.
   Don't worry, I'll be back soon.
   Take care!
  
   Jeongin checked the message for the umpteenth time & let out a heavy sigh. This caught Changbin's attention, who was sitting just beside him on Minho's couch.
  
   "You okay?" Changbin asked, still a bit awkward & shy around his soulmates. But if anyone asked him, he wouldn't take a single second to deny it.
  
   "No? Jinnie hyung hasn't texted me for a week now. Nor is he seeing any of my texts." Jeongin whined to Changbin whose lips formed a small o in understanding. Right, he had heard about this "Hyunjin guy" going back to his hometown for some urgent matter a week ago. This was the same guy who apparently managed to get all Changbin's soulmates whipped for him without even trying. Even Chan who had a blank look on his face when Minsung & Jeonlix confessed about Hyunjin, he also confessed that he did like Hyunjin a lot, & was okay with including the latter in their relationship. & Changbin trusted his soulmates. Not all of them could be wrong. Besides, if he could have 7 soulmates, he could have one more, couldn't he?
  
   "Maybe he was busy with home stuff? I mean, he was called back for an emergency, wasn't he?" Changbin tried to comfort the younger who pouted adorably, leading the former to let out an amused chuckle.
  
   "You guys really like him a lot." Changbin stated as he leaned back on the couch.
  
   "You will too! Just wait until you meet him!" Jeongin sent a thousand watt smile at him, eyes sparkling with hope & determination. This made Changbin really want to meet the said artist.
  

******

  

   Chan got a call from a distressed Jeongin the next day, saying something about Hyunjin leaving. Even though he couldn't understand all of it, he was hot on his heels to the younger boy's dorm; Changbin & Felix closely followed him.
  
   The first thing he noticed upon entering Jeongin's room was the emptiness coming from the left side of the room. It looked like someone had robbed everything from that side. Not even a single piece of cloth could be seen there.
  
   That was Hyunjin's side of the room.
  
   On the other side, Jeongin was sulking like a baby, knees pulled together to his chest. The sight alone panicked the older ones, making them rush to Jeongin's side, asking him what happened.
  
   "Jinnie hyung left."
  
   Others frown at the statement. What did the younger meant by the artist boy left? Where would he go in the middle of the semester?
  
   "H-He said... he can't focus on his projects when he's around p-people. He came back & changed rooms without even telling me!" Jeongin's voice was small & sad, making Felix pull the younger one in a tight hug while the other two stayed rooted to their place, thinking what to say or do at the moment.
  
   "Maybe he just wanted a bit of alone time when he'd work on his pieces, Innie. Not everyone can spend a long time in the studio Chan hyung." Felix tried to comfort the other. But Jeongin wasn't having any of that. He pushed off Felix slightly to sit straight.
  
   "No, you don't understand. Jinnie hyung never spoke to me like that, his voice never sounded so cold & distanced before. It almost sounded like he didn't want me around anymore." Jeongin replied, eyes almost teary.
  
   "Maybe he's just upset?"
  
   Everyone looked at Changbin who started to explain what he meant.
  
   "You said he went back home due to an emergency. Maybe something happened back there... & Hyunjin.. is just sad & wants to stay alone for a while. Well, everyone needs a break after having a shitty day, don't we?"
  
   That made sense. But still, Chan decided to check up on the artist at least once. Just to be sure that the boy was doing okay.
  


  
   After Jeongin calmed down, Felix dragged him out of his dorm to cheer him up. Chan & Changbin went to look for Hyunjin. Well, Changbin wanted to leave, but Chan asked him to stay. For some reason he was feeling uneasy about meeting with Hyunjin that day.
  
   They found Hyunjin in his studio, blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. Chan knocked the door twice before entering the room. Hyunjin didn't say anything as Chan walked inside the studio leaving Changbin in the hall. It was almost awkward when Hyunjin didn't say a single word, just stared at him with no emotion.
  
   He looked tired, devastated & dead.
  
   It scared Chan. He saw Hyunjin sad before, but it was never this bad. He wondered what hurt the boy to look like this.
  
   "It's been a while." Chan smiled warmly at the younger, who just stared back at him without saying anything. So, he tried again.
  
   "How are you?" Chan asked softly as he took a step forward.
  
   "Great"
  
   "Really?" Chan now stood in front of Hyunjin, trying his best to read Hyunjin. But all he could feel was numbness coming from the younger one.
  
   "What happened, Hyunnie?" Chan asked, hands gently cradling the artist's face. He felt his heart hurt when Hyunjin forced a small smile on his lips.
  
   "Nothing, hyung. I'm fine."
  
   Hyunjin's voice sounded hollow & resigned. There were dark circles under his pretty eyes; tired & red, as if he hadn't slept properly recently. His lips were cracked, reddish from biting. & The smile looked fake & forced.
  
   "Are you really?" His voice was just above whisper. & For a moment, he saw something flicker in the younger's eyes. Something he couldn't decipher. But soon his eyes turned blank again. Hyunjin freed himself from Chan's gentle hold & let out a chuckle.
  
   "I'll have to be. No matter what."
  
   Chan didn't like it when Hyunjin said it like that. No one should be feeling like he had to be okay even when he wasn't in a situation to be okay.
  
   "No" Chan once again gently held Hyunjin's face & turned it to make the other look at him. "It's okay not to feel okay, Hyunnie. It's okay to feel sad sometimes, it's okay to...cry. You are not expected to be happy all the time. Yes, I want to see you happy & smiling, but That doesn't mean you'll force yourself to act happy when you're clearly not." Chan gently wiped the small beads of tears that finally escaped from Hyunjin's eyes. The younger boy hid his face in Chan's stomach, shaking as he tried to stop crying. Chan held him close & tried to comfort him. "& It's okay to want time for yourself. It's okay if you want to stay alone for a while. It's okay. As long as it helps you, it's okay." Chan said in a soothing voice, hand petting the other's head.
  
   It hurt so much seeing Hyunjin looking so broken like this. He had never seen the boy crying before. He never realized the struggles Hyunjin had been hiding behind his sweet voice & pretty smile. He still didn't know what happened that was making the younger suffer like this. But he hoped Hyunjin would one day feel comfortable enough to reach out to him, share his worries & fears. Chan promised himself that when that time would come, he'd take care of Hyunjin. He'd give Hyunjin all the happiness he deserved. & He knew others would do the same.
  


******

  

   Changbin was on the balcony with a half-burnt cigarette between his lips. He rarely smoked. Today when he came back to his small crumpled place, he felt like he needed one. It was one tiring day. His soulmates were all sad & worried for a person who wasn't even their soulmate. Even Chan, the most matured one out of them, looked worried to death when he came out of the studio where the non-soulmate boy was.
  
   I'm scared he's gonna burn himself out like this.
  
   Changbin didn't understand why Chan said that. They all had an idea that whatever happened back in that boy's home, had affected the boy a lot. But... Was it really that bad? He didn't know Hyunjin personally, so he couldn't tell much about the said boy.
  
   His soulmates were worried when they heard from Jeongin & Chan later; especially Jisung who almost ran out to meet Hyunjin if it wasn't for Minho & Chan to stop him. Chan told him that Hyunjin wanted to be alone, so they should respect that. But Jisung wasn't having any of it.
  
   "I left him alone once before, hyung. I can't stop feeling guilty about it even now."
  
   That explained the voice in Changbin's head who'd often think about some Jinnie. But even after that, Chan insisted on respecting Hyunjin's decision even though he himself was worrying about that boy. & Watching all his soulmates mentally drained out like this, Changbin felt a sudden urge in his heart to meet this Hwang Hyunjin, who managed to wrap everyone around his fingers.



&

  
   He stood outside the studio, hands buried down the pockets of his jeans as he stared at the door that would lead him to the artist boy. There was light peeking out from the gap of the door below, meaning he was right, Hyunjin was still here. He didn't know exactly why he came here all of a sudden, he just knew that he had to see this Hyunjin. & After coming here, he didn't know if he should meet the boy.
  
   He wants to be left alone for now.
  
   Chan's voice resonated in his head, making him feel guilty. Maybe he shouldn't have come here after all. But, something, an invisible string was pulling him toward the room. As if someone inside the room was holding the other end of the string, pulling him to go near him. & With one last deep breath, he held the knob & twisted it open.
  
   There was a boy sitting on a tool in front of a giant canvas. He had long black hair almost touching his shoulders. His almond eyes were blank, devoid of any kind of emotion or recognition that someone unknown had just entered his studio. He was pretty much into whatever that was painted on the canvas that he didn't notice Changbin yet.
  
   Changbin felt awkward, not knowing what to do. So, he settled with a basic greeting.
  
   "Hey..."
  
   The boy finally looked at him, confusion itched on his face as he waited for Changbin to continue. But, Changbin couldn't. The moment Hyunjin looked at him he felt the air leaving his lungs. His words caught on his throat as he kept staring at the boy who looked beautiful even though there were visible dark circles under his eyes. The soft pink colored shirt on his figure made him look softer than he was. Exactly opposite of Changbin, who was wearing a black jeans jacket over a back colored tshirt, pairing with blue jeans & black boots.
  
   "Do you need something?"
  
   Changbin flinched back to the present hearing a soft voice. Hyunjin was standing now, but behind the canvas. There was a hint of fear in his eyes as he stared at Changbin.
  
   Obviously he's gonna be scared seeing a stranger in his studio in the middle of the night.
  
   "I'm sorry I don't mean to scare you. I just..." Changbin paused.
  
   You just what, idiot?!
  
   He mentally scolded himself for coming here in the middle of the night without any proper reason.
  
   "I'm Changbin. Chan hyung's... soulmate"
  
   Changbin watched the boy's eyes widened in surprise. He looked adorable.
  
   "Y-you are? W-when?" Hyunjin stammered, fear in his eyes replaced by something Changbin couldn't understand.
  
   "A few weeks ago. I heard from.. Innie...that you weren't around recently, maybe that's why you didn't know?" Changbin explained. And a small smile tugged on the corner of his lips as Hyunjin nodded, understanding the situation. There was a small pout in his lips that Changbin was sure the boy had no idea of. Then he remembered the boy was making his soulmates worried. He wondered what could be the reason that made this adorable boy sad like that.
  
   "Can I stay with you for a while?" Changbin asked directly, a tiny sprout of hope could be heard in his request. He watched Hyunjin hesitate a bit before nodding slowly.
  
   "Okay...."



&

   "I was actually outside this morning, when Chan hyung came to see you." Changbin confessed. He didn't like lying, & also wanted to break the silence hanging around them for the last ten minutes. They both were sitting on the floor with their backs resting on the wall. They had a few feet gap between them, it was Changbin's idea. He didn't want to scare the boy or make him feel unsafe around Changbin.
  
   "Why didn't you come in?" Hyunjin asked, voice slightly muffled due to having his face tucked between his legs that were folded against his chest.
  
   "I donno" Changbin shrugged, "I guess when Chan hyung asked me, I felt like you wouldn't want to see me. After all, we're just strangers & I think you wouldn't have liked to see some stranger in your room when you're having a...personal (?) conversation with your friend." Changbin let out a small chuckle.
  
   ".....Thanks"
  
   "No problem"
  
   Silence enveloped them again. But it wasn't bad. If anything, Changbin was enjoying the silence. & Hyunjin looked the same.
  



   "So, you found your soulmate yet?"
  
   Changbin asked after a while, too curious. He was now craning his head to the left, where Hyunjin was. A small smile tugged on the taller boy's lips at the mention of his soulmate, & for some reason Changbin felt his heart hurt.
  
   "I have..."
  
   Changbin didn't know what to do with this information. He didn't even know why he asked the question in the first place. His soulmates were ready to woo the taller boy into their relationship & they were very much invested in the idea. & Here he just found out that the boy had already found his soulmate. This wasn't gonna end up good for his soulmates, & him.
  
   "Oh... Is whatever going on.. like in your head right now... related to him? Wait- forget I asked that! I shouldn't pry your personal mat-"
  
   "It's not them. It's more like me." Hyunjin chuckled.
  
   Them? He has more than one too? Damn! Do they have to compete with multiple people to get this boy now, or what?!
  
   Changbin's head was spinning with worries, but still nodded in understanding. He should focus on Hyunjin's story, instead of thinking about them. & It's true. Sometimes people get tired & devastated when solving their own problems. Maybe that's what was happening with Hyunjin too?
  
   "But that doesn't mean you're alone, does it?" Changbin smiled when Hyunjin looked at him. "Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against us, but even then there would be people who would be cheering you on, shielding you from every shit that was thrown at you. Sometimes, you just need to recognize them. Accept them in your life. Let them share your burden." Changbin smiled. He remembered the time when he first heard his soulmates. He was on the verge of giving up when multiple voices rang inside his head, thinking loudly about anything... everything. The painful voices of his mind drowned in the voices of his soulmates & their loving whispers. It was then when he realized that he wasn't alone. He didn't need to fight alone. He had people waiting for him, cheering for him even though they never met. His soulmates saved him from going astray.
  
   "What if they are happy without me? What if they didn't need me to be there for them?"
  
   "Then you can fight & live for yourself. It's not necessary to find your happiness with your soulmates. Happiness can come from people who are far from your soulmates, yet they can give you the love & care you deserve. So, those who care for you, don't push them away. You'd be only hurting yourself & them in the process." Changbin explained. Hyunjin was now looking down at the floor quitely. He felt his heart doing funny flips watching Hyunjin, like it had been doing ever since he met his soulmates. There was something that was pulling him toward Hyunjin even though this was the first time they met. & Even though he should be feeling awkward around the younger boy, he didn't. For some reason, he could actually picture him & Hyunjin together in future. But that didn't mean he was going to advise Hyunjin to ditch his soulmates when the boy was vulnerable like this. It was a choice Hyunjin had to make in his sane mind. So, Changbin didn't regret when the next words came out from his mouth.
  
   "But, if possible, give your soulmates a chance. Who knows, maybe you've just been thinking wrongly of them this whole time?"
  


******

  


   Hyunjin stayed behind after his dance class. He saw the worried glances coming for Felix & Minho the whole time, but decided to ignore them. He remembered what Changbin said to him a few days ago. He understood what Changbin wanted to say to him, but he didn't really believe that would work for him.
  
   He was broken. A plaything that was discarded long ago. He was miserable, a baggage for anyone to carry. His presence in his soulmates' life or in his friend, Seungmin's life would only bring them misfortune & bad luck. Maybe one day they'd get tired of him & ask him to leave, like his parents did. The moment they'd realize what Hyunjin was from inside, they were gonna be disgusted with him. By letting them in, Hyunjin would only be setting himself up to get his heart broken. & He didn't know if he could survive losing them all.
  
   So, this was the best option. Being a friend, who they'd meet from time to time, or maybe after months when they'd all graduate. They'd be happy without him, without his bad luck around them. & Hyunjin would be happy just by knowing that they were happy.
  
   It was enough for Hyunjin to live.
  



  
   The studio was empty as Hyunjin laid down on the floor, tired, both mentally & physically. He hadn't been able to sleep properly after that..... accident back in his...home. Well, technically he didn't have one anymore after that night. He'd always have nightmares whenever he'd fall asleep, & then cry his eyes out. Which was the main reason he changed his room in the dorm. He didn't want Jeongin to see him like this. He was the hyung. He should be the stronger one, protecting the younger from everything. But, he was too weak to do that. He was too broken to save someone else from breaking. He didn't want to scare Jeongin, hence he mailed the administration about moving before he came back. & When he got the confirmation mail from the administration, he came back & changed his room within a few hours. But, being alone also scared him. The negative thoughts in his mind kept increasing day by day. It kept trying to convince him to let go of everything. But, Hyunjin fought hard every night. He screamed at them to stop. & In vain. They didn't listen to him. So he stopped sleeping in general. Thus, came the tiredness, sitting behind his eyes.
  

   Hyunjin let the silence of the empty studio calm him down. Let his mind be at peace for a minute. But the negative thoughts in his head started to slowly invade his peaceful state, making him frown in displeasure. He tried to think of anything that could shoo those negativity away. Nothing worked, until he remembered a song.
  
   A song that one of his soulmates, most probably Chan, wrote for them a year ago. A song that was almost imprinted in his mind when he first heard it.
  
   & He started to sing it. Loud & clear. His voice was rough, out of tune, but he barely cared when it helped him fight the negativity inside his head.
  


When my hand touches you

We see us in each other's eyes

I'm out of breath at the first feeling I felt

This can't be explained

Never just like that

I know it's not because I'm more greedy

I just want to tease you, although it's ridiculous

All calculated thoughts stop

I want to be found like I have lied, even this excitement

I just don't want to linger around you like a scent



I thought I knew

I was arrogant as if I knew everything

But I didn't know, with you

Why does it get harder the closer you get?

Even if I prepare something to say, it disappears somewhere

In the end, I am just talking nonsense



When I hold your hand, I feel younger

Don't look at me like that

I look you in the eye and take another step towards-

  

  
   A sudden loud gasp startled Hyunjin, making him sit up immediately. He was supposed to be alone. Then who did he-
  
   He froze. Felix was standing just in front of the door, eyes sparkling like stars. He heard Hyunjin. He definitely did. The way Felix's whole face was lighting up in joy & excitement, Hyunjin knew the other heard him.
  
   Hyunjin scurried off from the floor & rushed to the corner of the room to get his bag. He needed to leave. He couldn't stay here. He turned back to leave, but Felix stood just in front of him. A beautiful smile on his lips almost stopped Hyunjin. But he fought it, & tried to walk past the shorter boy only to be stopped by a strong hold on his wrist.


&

   "I found you!" Felix's deep voice was dripping with disbelief & happiness as he watched his soulmate in front of him, eyes widened in initial shock & lips parted as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what to say. Felix & the others had been looking for their last missing pieces of their puzzle for a long time now, not knowing one of them was this close to them.
  

   Hwang Hyunjin, Jisung's childhood friend. Apparently, their last soulmate.
  

   Now it made sense, why Jisung would always speak about Hyunjin angrily then look at the taller boy in the cafeteria everyday with longing evident in his eyes. Why all of them fell attracted to the boy in front of them? Why all of them liked the boy romantically when Hyunjin never interacted with them more that necessary? They didn't know Hyunjin was their soulmate, but their heart always knew, it always longed for the boy in front of him. He could imagine how shocked & surprised Jisung & others would be once they'd find out about Hyunjin. & Finally, all of them could be together, happy & in love.
  
   But the thought soon got crushed when Hyunjin's eyes narrowed dangerously before he shook off Felix's hand roughly, almost making Felix flinch back in fear.
  
   "I don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone!"
  
   That's all Hyunjin said in a harsh voice before he briskly walked out from the practice room, leaving Felix behind with a shattered heart.
  

&

  
   Hyunjin felt his heart almost getting out of his chest as he rushed inside the nearest washroom, & locked it with his shaky hands. He rested his back on the locked door & tried to calm down his heart.
  
   Felix found out.
   Now, all of them would find out about him.
  
   The thought alone made Hyunjin whimper, tears ready to fall from his eyes as he slid down on the floor. He messed it up. He messed up everything! Only if he had ignored the song inside his head. Only if he hadn't sung along with the voices in his head. Then, Felix wouldn't have found out, and wouldn't look at Hyunjin as if he was a star hanging in the sky. He couldn't face them. Their hate. They'd be mad at him for hiding & trying to befriend them. They'd be disgusted if they find out-
  
   No!
  
   Hyunjin shakily pulled out his phone from his trousers & dialled a number that he didn't know he'd be calling ever. He pressed the phone against his ear, waiting for the other to pick up the call. & Soon a voice spoke up lazily, clearly not liking that Hyunjin had called him.
  
   "What do you want?" The person on the other side didn't even greet Hyunjin, but the latter couldn't care about that at the moment. They were never in any kind of relationship to normally greet each other anyway.
  
   "C-can I..." Hyunjin gulped loudly in an failed attempt to push the bile down in his stomach "Can I....c-come over?"
  
   The person went quiet after Hyunjin asked the question. Hyunjin almost felt hopeless when the other didn't say anything for a while. But then he spoke up, surprising Hyunjin.
  
   "Where are you?" The voice sounded urgent this time, & out of breath as if he was running.
  
   "Uni-"
  
   "Stay there. I'll come pick you up."
  
   Then the call dropped.
   Chapter End Notes
   It'll get better I promise!
   Next update will be on Monday!
  

This isn't easy (but it's worth a try)

   Chapter Summary
   Seungmin meets the others, while Hyunjin finds comfort in a past acquaintance of his.
   Chapter Notes
   Hi guys... I'm updating today because I'm gonna be very busy this week with my project. I'll post the next update around monday or Tuesday of the next week!
   See the end of the chapter for more notes
   Seungmin stared at the entrance of SNU, thinking over his decision once again. Hyunjin had been ignoring his calls after the night they last met. & Suddenly, ever since yesterday all his soulmates were thinking about Hyunjin. All of them sounded worried in his mind. It scared Seungmin. So, he made a rash decision & came here to find his soulmates to talk to.
  
   About them. About Hyunjin.
  
   Seungmin wasn't really fond of being with seven soulmates for his whole life. As he said before, he adored & loved them, but he couldn't see him living with them having a romantic relationship. At least, not until he met Hyunjin. He liked Hyunjin. Soulmate or not, he liked Hwang Hyunjin a lot. He could see himself with Hyunjin, happy & in love. He could see him waking up next to the older boy, kissing him softly to wake him up. He could see himself making Hyunjin happy. He could see them together in his future. & He could see Felix too. He'd seen the Australian boy only once, but still he could picture three of them together, having a meal, laughing at something funny, loving each other equally. It was way too shocking for Seungmin. & He still had trouble believing that he was smitten over Felix even though they met once, only for a minute. That made him realize that the same thing was bound to happen when he'd meet his other soulmates. & He needed to accept that. But, it's easier to say, than actually acting on it. He had been thinking of meeting his soulmates in person, but only after he'd talked with Hyunjin.
  
   He needed to tell Hyunjin first. He didn't want the other to think of him as a liar by hearing it from someone else. But, Hyunjin never replied to him back & he postponed his plans only to find his soulmates getting worried about Hyunjin for some unknown reason.
  
   This telepathy thing between the soulmates both sucked & saved them.
  
  
   It wasn't hard for Seungmin to find them. He just asked around about Felix & Chan, & found himself standing in front of an old music studio on the 5th floor. With a deep breath he knocked on the door, & soon was face to face with a short boy with small eyes & round cheeks who went from surprised to annoyed in a few seconds.
  
   "Hyunjin isn't here." The boy narrowed his eyes at Seungmin, making him look cute instead of threatening.
  
   Cute? Don't tell me he's another one of us!
  
   "Okay. But I need to talk with you guys too. If I'm not wrong, all six of you are here, right?" Seungmin asked, hoping the boy, his squirrel looking soulmate would get the hint.
  
   & He did.
  
   After a few seconds of silence, his eyes went big, before he stepped aside without a word. Seungmin gave him a tight lipped smile before walking inside & getting five pairs of eyes to settle on him. Felix was there too, crying?
  
   What was happening?!
  
   Seungmin sighed. This was gonna be a long talk.
  
   Seungmin explained everything from the very first. How he met Hyunjin, minus the latter's mom's situation & the bullying thing, & how they became friends, how he had doubts & Hyunjin confirmed it unknowingly when he confessed to the older boy. He told them about Hyunjin blocking his mind, & thus not knowing what was going on with his soulmates. He told them everything he knew. & He also told them about his dilemma involving his soulmates, & how he'd been working on to accept it.
  
  
   "But why?! Why wouldn't he tell us?" It was Jisung who looked like he was losing his mind.
  
   "That's something that only he can tell us. I've been trying to contact him, but he's been ignoring me for a few weeks now." Seungmin sighed, stressed after hearing his soulmates' stories about Hyunjin.
  
   "Something happened back in his home, & he came back looking dead"
  
   That's what Minho & Chan told him. But what happened? What made Hyunjin detach from everyone around him?!
  
   "I think I've an idea why Hyunjin is avoiding us."
  
   Everyone looked at Changbin, shocked & surprised. Changbin then told them about his midnight visit to Hyunjin's studio, he told them what Hyunjin had told him.
  
  
   "What if they are happy without me? What if they didn't need me to be there for them?"
  
  
   "H-he thinks we're happy without him?! We don't need him?!" Jeongin asked, voice strained. Changbin nodded solemnly.
  
   "For some reason he thinks so. I didn't want to pry, so I didn't ask further. But yeah, our boy has some issues, & we need to find him asap."
  
   "Before that... I need to ask you guys something." Seungmin spoke up. He felt hesitation clouding his mind once he realized he'd be talking about Hyunjin's personal life without the latter's permission.
  
   "What is it?" Chan asked, voice gentle & comforting.
  
   "Do you..." Seungmin paused, "Do you perhaps know about Hyunjin's mother?" Seungmin asked, hesitance clear in his voice while the others frowned.
  
   "Mrs. Hwang? Yeah, I met her last when I was around 12 or something I think. What about her?" Jisung tilted his head to the left, not having an idea where this was going.
  
   Seungmin sighed. This was going to be hard. & Seungmin hoped Hyunjin would forgive him for this. He took another deep breath, before looking at his soulmates. All of them were looking at him, worried & confused.
  
   "Hyunjin's mom left him when he was 12. &... He's being bullied for it even now."
  
  
  

******

  
  
  
   "Eat"
  
   Hyunjin blankly stared at the bowl of egg fried rice in front of him. Yeonjun pushed the bowl toward him more when the other didn't make a move to touch it.
  
   "Eat it before it gets cold. You don't get to pick as I can't cook, so this is the only dinner you're going to get tonight"
  
   "I'm not hungry" Hyunjin replied in a small voice, making Yeonjun roll his eyes in annoyance.
  
   "You want me to go to SNU & find out that damn soulmate of yours?" Yeonjun threatened, making Hyunjin look at him with wide eyes. "You want me to bring him here, to you? You don't, right? Then... Eat." Yeonjun pushed the plate toward Hyunjin again, & this time Hyunjin slowly picked up the spoon & started eating.
  
   This idiot really thinks I'd go look for his soulmate, whose name I don't even know?! in the middle of the night?!
  
   Yeonjun sighed, when he realized this was how Hyunjin had been since the beginning. Hyunjin was too innocent, too dumb to realize that people was mocking him every now & then. He was too weak to defend himself. He got up with his empty plate & put it on the sink. He'd wash it later. Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, he leaned back on the counter while twisting the cap open. His eyes landed on Hyunjin, who was spacing out while chewing slowly. It made Yeonjun sigh again.
  
   This was going to be tough.
  
   Last time when Hyunjin was with him, Yeonjun had a tough time controlling the former. Hyunjin kept having nightmares & panic attacks, crying & speaking of dying, leaving everything. Yeonjun had to take sick leave from his classes to stay with the younger boy 24/7. He was afraid to leave Hyunjin alone when the latter wasn't in his right mind. He couldn't really blame the other for thinking such thoughts when Hyunjin's own father could do something so disgusting to his only son.
  
   Yeonjun still remembered Hyunjin's screams for help that night. It was pure luck that he went back home after his mom fell ill all of a sudden. & It was a coincidence that he saw Hyunjin walking alone in the road in the middle of the night. Curious he followed the younger & found out that the boy was visiting his home. He didn't mean to stand outside Hyunjin's home, he just happened to black out for a moment before he heard Hyunjin's screams which was followed by multiple laughter. It took him a few seconds to realize that something was very wrong. Hyunjin's cries weren't stopping. He was calling dad for help again & again. Yeonjun didn't know what to do. He decided to call the local police first, then break into the house.
  
   & The way he found Hyunjin in ripped clothes, which Yeonjun could swear was looking new just a few minutes ago, made his blood boil. It was a mess after that. Him, alone fighting off four older people. But luck was surprisingly on his side that night. Police came sooner than he thought & arrested everyone, including Hyunjin's monster of a dad.
  
   He still couldn't believe a father could do this to his own son. When the police asked Hyunjin if he had any place to stay, the boy couldn't even utter a single word. He was still in shock. Yeonjun then stepped up, & took him home. They left for Seoul in the morning. Yeonjun didn't want Hyunjin to stay in a place where the latter might not feel safe. & When the initial shock wore off, Hyunjin went hysterical. He kept crying & crying, until he'd faint. Yeonjun literally had his heart in his mouth when one time he found the traumatized boy with a kitchen knife, staring at his own wrists. He remembered how hard it was to calm down Hyunjin that time.
  
   & Yeonjun was scared that Hyunjin would go back into that phase again. It's only been a few weeks. The previous wound was obviously still there, Hyunjin was just trying to hide it. & Then today....
  
   Well, Yeonjun wasn't sure what actually happened today for the younger boy to call him all of a sudden. When he asked later, Hyunjin just said-
  
   "He found out"
  
   & Yeonjun figured out it was his soulmate who Hyunjin was talking about. When he brought Hyunjin in his home before, he had asked the other if he had soulmates who he needed to contact, Hyunjin had told him then that his soulmates didn't know about him yet. & It raised tons of questions in his mind, but decided not to be vocal about that. At least for now.
  
  

&

  
  
   "You can sleep in my room tonight. I'll take the couch" Yeonjun grabbed a pillow & an extra blanket before leaving the room. Hyunjin stood in the middle of the room for a few seconds before slowly walking over to the bed. He had been here before, exactly a week ago. Being here brought him comfort, after all this was the first shelter he got after losing his home. He felt safe here. He pulled out his phone & sighed when he saw hundreds of texts & messages from his soulmates & Seungmin. He understood that what he did wasn't right. He panicked & escaped. He shouldn't have done that. He even lashed on Felix.
  
   Deep inside he knew, someday they'd find out & hate him for it. But he didn't know that time was going to come so soon. He turned off his phone & left it on the bedside table before lying down on the bed. He was tired. He just wanted to sleep for now, if he could. He'd deal with the heartbreak tomorrow.
  
  

&

  
  
   "You know you can come to me anytime, right?"
  
   The question seemed to catch Hyunjin off guard, before a small smile made its way to his lips. He smiled at Yeonjun & nodded slowly, making the older boy mirror him. They were now standing in front of Hyunjin's dorm. Yeonjun had come to drop him before his class.
  
   Yeonjun had been thinking about Hyunjin a lot recently. Not that he never thought of the younger boy before, but that's a story for another time. He always regretted what he did with Hyunjin all these years, but never allowed to act on it. He always wanted to apologize for his words & actions. But never had the guts to do it. But the recent incident back in their hometown had finally made him realize that he should man up & ask for forgiveness. After whatever Hyunjin had gone through all these years, Hyunjin deserved an apology. He knew it wasn't enough to bring the dazzling smile back on the boy's face, but he could try. He realized he couldn't live knowing he was one of the reasons behind Hyunjin wanting to die. He couldn't just stand by & watch the boy burn into nothing. So, he finally decided to apologize. He didn't care if Hyunjin wouldn't accept his apology, he didn't care if he had to apologize again & again. He just knew he had to do it.
   But he really wasn't ready for the reply that he got from Hyunjin.
  
  
   "I'm sorry." Regret, guilt & shame was evident in his eyes while Hyunjin was just confused.
  
   "For all those years... I have been a...dick to you. I'm really sorry & if I could, I would've turned back time & treated you right." Yeonjun couldn't look at Hyunjin. He didn't have the courage now that he finally accepted everything.
  
   "I was never mad at you, hyung." A genuine smile bloomed on Hyunjin's lips as soon Yeonjun looked up at him with wide disbelieving eyes. "I'm more than happy to be your friend now. Only if you let me." Hyunjin shyly held his hand toward the older boy, which the latter took hesitantly. The younger one laughed at how dazed the older looked at the moment before taking a step closer & pulling Yeonjun in a hug.
  
   "Don't be so hard on yourself, hyung. Just a few hours ago you told me the same thing. So, stop thinking much. I'm not upset at you anymore. I never was" Hyunjin pulled back from the hug, still standing close to the older boy who still looked dazed.
  
   "& Now we're friends, aren't we? You shook my hand already!" Hyunjin giggled softly, making Yeonjun shake his head in disbelief.
  
   Maybe Yeonjun wasn't that late to fix things between them.
  
  
  

******

  
  
   Walking inside the dorm was literally nerve wrecking for Hyunjin. Even though he changed his room, Jeongin & him still were in the same building after all. & He really didn't want to stumble upon the younger boy. At least not now. He knew he had to face them, & their cruel words no matter what. But, that didn't mean he wouldn't want to delay it. He was tired of getting hurt & discarded.
  
   Luckily, he didn't run into any of his soulmates on his way to his room. He hurried inside the room & decided to skip the first class of the day. He was already late, so it was better not walk inside the class with his puffy red eyes. After the sudden talk with Yeonjun, he was actually feeling better. He never thought this day would come. From the beginning, he'd been scared of the older boy for obvious reasons. But he never found himself to stay mad or upset at the older. He always thought he deserved those rude words & actions. So, he never blame anyone but himself. But, after hearing Yeonjun apologize today, he realized he needed it. It made him happy to know that someone wasn't hating him anymore. He was happy that Yeonjun wasn't disgusted with him after knowing about him. He was happy that he & Yeonjun decided to be friends. Maybe, the universe finally decided to give him something to be happy after everything. Maybe it was just a consolation before everything would go down with his soulmates.
  
   Maybe. Hyunjin didn't know. He didn't even want to know anything anymore. He just hoped he could stay away from his soulmates for now, or maybe for a few more days to collect himself.
  
   But luck didn't seem to be on his side, as always.
  
   Hyunjin had already missed a few dance classes recently, & in his last class he even got a warning from the teacher that he had at least 70% attendance to pass class. He couldn't afford to miss one again. So, with worries & fears in his mind, Hyunjin walked inside the studio being purposefully late hoping Minho & Felix wouldn't get the time to talk to him. & The plan actually worked for him to some extent.
  
   As soon as he stepped inside the studio he could feel two pairs of eyes settle on him. But he decided to ignore them & stood in his position. They were doing basic stretches before starting the routine today, when suddenly Minho announced that they'd be practicing in pairs today. Hyunjin felt dread settle in his stomach as soon as he heard the instructions. He immediately looked to his left, & found the girl beside him already had a partner. He didn't even dare to look at his right, scared to meet Felix's expecting eyes. But to his surprise, he heard Felix's deep voice calling out another one to pair up with him. Hyunjin felt a heavy weight lifting off from his chest. But not for long.
  
   "It seems like you don't have a partner to pair up, Hwang." Hyunjin felt his heart stop for a moment when Minho suddenly stood in front of him. His cat-like eyes were pinning Hyunjin on his spot, as if daring him to move away. & When Hyunjin didn't (couldn't) move away from Minho, the corners of the older's lips curled up slightly.
  
   "I will be your partner for today then"
  
   Hyunjin felt a shiver running down his spine as Minho whispered that in a gentle, but firm voice. Hyunjin had no place to escape.
  

&

  
   Much to Hyunjin's relief, Minho was acting very professionally with him. At first, Hyunjin was worried that Minho would be confronting him in the middle of the class, but soon that worry vanished as he watched Minho treating him just like he treated the others in the class. He had caught Felix looking at them a few times, but Hyunjin made sure to avert his eyes first. He couldn't bear looking at the sunshine after going off on him just a day ago.
  
   "Hwang, you need to trust me. Otherwise, we could spend hours practicing the same move again & again, but wouldn't go anywhere."
  
   Minho sighed for the umpteenth time & Hyunjin felt guilty. They had been practicing this move where Hyunjin had to fall backward from a chair for Minho to catch. It was a bit scary, knowing he could get hurt & also can unintentionally injure Minho if something went wrong. He didn't care about himself that much, but he didn't want to hurt Minho in any way. So, they were still stuck where they were half an hour ago.
  
   Hyunjin nodded again as he stood up on the edge of the chair. Minho was already in his place, waiting for Hyunjin to fall back. Hyunjin looked behind him again, worries still swimming inside his head. He turned back his head, eyes now staring at the wall in front of him. Suddenly, Felix's figure came in front of his view. He walked forward & leaned back on the wall that Hyunjin had been glaring just a few seconds ago. Hyunjin felt his heart skip a beat when Felix grinned at him, showing his thumb as he mouthed "you can do it!", not so subtly. Hyunjin suddenly felt a hint of courage in his heart.
  
   "Hyunjin, let's try again on the count of three, okay?"
  
   Hyunjin slightly nodded at Minho's instruction. One! Hyunjin was still looking straight at Felix's blinding smile as he tried to calm down his heart. Two! He took a deep breath as he relaxed his muscles. Three! He closed his eyes, & pushed himself back, gracefully falling into Minho's open arms.
  
   & He did it. He opened his eyes from the shock only to find Felix grinning at him while clapping like a seal. Just then Minho's arms around him tightened a bit alerting Hyunjin of the position they were in. He was still leaning back on Minho. He panicked & tried to move away hastily, but it only made the arms around him hold him down to Minho's chest.
  
   "See, you just need to trust us. Always"
  
   Hyunjin felt goosebumps all over his body as Minho whispered in his ear all of a sudden. His focus on Felix had long gone, mind was way too messed up with everything at the moment. The way Minho said those words, to someone else it might be pretty normal. He needed to trust his partner for these kinds of moves. But Hyunjin could feel the double meaning behind those words.
  
   Minho was talking about them. The soulmates.
  
   Hyunjin felt Minho pushing him on his feet carefully, & then loosening his arms around the former. The older one stepped away from his personal space, now going back to the others, telling them what to do next. & At that moment Hyunjin realized he missed Minho's arms around him. He shouldn't but now that he knew how it felt to be held by Minho, he couldn't help but to want it more.
  
   He wouldn't have held you if he knew.
  
   Hyunjin felt his chest tighten all of a sudden. The voices in his head never failed to remind him what he was. He shouldn't forget. With a shaky breath he dragged himself back to his position, not noticing Felix's worried eyes on him.
  

&

  
   As planned before, Hyunjin was prepared to leave the studio as soon as Minho announced that they were done for today. He purposefully left his bag near the door before, so he could leave early. But as he was about to grab his bag, Minho called out to him in front of everyone.
  
   "Hyunjin & Felix. Stay back. I need to talk with you two."
  
   Hyunjin felt his heart drop. He couldn't say no in front of all these people. His fingers loosened from the strap of his bag as he tried to regulate his breath. The students already started to walk out from the studio, except for Minho & Felix. Those two were still standing on the other side of the studio, waiting for everyone to leave. Hyunjin felt sweat trickling down his forehead as the last student walked out from the room. Now, it was only three of them in painful silence.
  
   Hyunjin's breath quickened more as he saw Minho taking a step toward him silently. Then another. His hands automatically balled into fists as he tried to to calm down. But it wasn't working. He was scared. More than he thought he'd be. He knew they were mad at him. They were gonna yell at him, curse him for being their soulmate. He knew it. He knew they didn't like hi-
  
   Suddenly he was pulled into a warm embrace.
  
   "It's okay, Jinnie. You're okay. Breathe, please."
  
   It was Felix. He was holding Hyunjin carefully as if the latter was made of glass. It's only then Hyunjin noticed that he was literally shaking in Felix's arms, he was having a panic attack. He tried to get away from the Australian boy, but Felix's arms around him didn't let him.
  
   "I-I need to g-go-"
  
   "You're not going anywhere, Hyunjin. At least not before we all have a small talk with you"
  
   Hyunjin looked up at Minho wirh alarmed eyes. The older was now standing just behind Felix. There was some kind of finality in his voice, it almost sounded like an order. & Hyunjin couldn't help it when tears started to fall from his eyes.
  
  

&

  
  
   Minho immediately softened at the sight. He didn't mean to scare Hyunjin. He just wanted to tell Hyunjin that they needed to talk. But he & his dumbass said that in a way that made Hyunjin more scared.
  
   Of the talk.
   Of him.
  
   Minho didn't like it. There was a dull ache in his chest when he realized Hyunjin was genuinely scared of him. He never wanted this to happen. Minho carefully wiped the tears away with his fingers while Hyunjin was still in Felix's hold. Felix had been chanting comforting words continuously, & it was working. Hyunjin was still crying, but he wasn't shaking like a leaf anymore, nor was he struggling to break free.
  
   "It's okay Jinnie, I promise none of us are mad at you, okay?" Felix tried to comfort the crying boy. When Hyunjin still didn't stop crying, Minho & Felix decided not to push Hyunjin to talk with everyone today. Hyunjin needed to calm down first, & then maybe he could talk to others slowly. From what Minho understood from the talk he had with the others last day, Hyunjin was most probably insecure about himself. He was already a panicked & crying mess just by having himself alone with Minho & Felix, Minho didn't want to overwhelm the boy more. So, they decided to take Hyunjin back to Minho's apartment. In that way, Hyunjin wouldn't have to face Jeongin & Jisung, who kept going back to the dorm to check if Hyunjin was back. Besides, they were also a bit scared that Hyunjin might run off again if he was left alone. But they didn't say that aloud.
  
   They didn't want to take any chance of losing Hyunjin before they got to tell him that they indeed wanted him to be with them.
  
   But they also didn't want to force Hyunjin. When they asked the taller boy that they wanted him to stay the night at Minho's place, they expected Hyunjin to react badly. But to their surprise, he didn't say a single word, nor did he make any movements. He kept staring down at his & Felix's hands. That made Minho & Felix more determined not to leave the taller boy alone for tonight. They spent an hour alone in the studio trying to calm down Hyunjin. & When Hyunjin finally stopped crying, Felix made sure to wipe the tear stains from his face while muttering something like Hyunjin's puffy eyes reminded him of frog's eyes, to which Hyunjin finally let out a chuckle making the other two break into small smiles. They loved it better when Hyunjin smiled.
  
  

&

  
  
   Minho was worried as hell. He couldn't hear anything from Hyunjin in his mind. Seungmin had already told them that Hyunjin had been blocking them most of the time from the beginning. But watching the boy sitting on his bed with a dazed expression in front of him, Minho couldn't help but to worry for the boy. He wanted to know what was going inside that pretty head. Hyunjin wouldn't be able to tell him or the others everything, they knew that well. So, knowing what was going on his mind was currently the only option for Minho to help the taller boy.
  
   But that wasn't the only thing that Minho was worried about. Where Hyunjin was literally mute, Jisung was causing a ruckus in Minho's head. That squirrel soulmate of his was thinking very loudly at the moment, & one of his thoughts was spending the night at Minho's place. Minho was alarmed as he realized that Jisung might be standing in front of his apartment in most probably 10 to 15 minutes. He dashed back in his room only to find Hyunjin curled into a small ball at the farthest corner of the older one's bed. Even though Hyunjin was most probably the tallest one between the eight of them, he looked the smallest at the moment making Minho want to cuddle the boy, or maybe leave a few kisses on top of that black mop of the other boy. But soon he remembered the trouble that was coming soon, & decided to alert Hyunjin.
  
  
   "Hyunjin?"
  
   Hyunjin's eyes snapped up at Minho in surprise. Minho had left the boy alone in the room for a while now saying he'd prepare some simple dinner for them.
  
   "...yes?"
  
   Hyunjin's voice was soft & low, barely hearable.
  
   "Uhh... I think Jisung is coming... like right now"
  
   Minho watched fear flashing in Hyunjin's confused eyes as soon as the boy registered his words. His arms automatically tightened around his legs, pulling them closer to his chest more. Minho immediately rushed forward & climbed up on the bed to get near Hyunjin. But, the said boy flinched back, eyes full of tears once again.
  
   "Hyunjin, calm down. If you don't want to meet him now, then you won't have to! I won't force you into talking to him!"
  
   Hyunjin stared at him for a few seconds, as if he's trying to understand if he should trust Minho. The older boy carefully reached out to Hyunjin, & relief flooded over him when this time the other didn't flinch back. He carefully held one of Hyunjin's hands & squeezed it slightly.
  
   "Do you trust me?"
  
   Minho whispered, eyes locked with Hyunjin's teary ones. Hyunjin hesitated at first, but then slowly nodded. A warm feeling bloomed on Minho's chest. A big smile automatically painted on his face as he realized Hyunjin did trust him. It felt like a big achievement for him. After all, their history wasn't really that good, thanks to Minho.
  
   "Then, can you please stay here while I shoo the noisy squirrel away for the night?" Minho attempted a joke.
  
   Hyunjin's eyes curved into small crescents as the corner of his lips curled up in a small smile. He nodded slightly.
  
   "He'll be more noisy if you say this to him...."
  
   "Nothing that I can't handle!" Minho winked, making Hyunjin let out a small laugh. & Once again, Minho realized that he was a goner for this boy in front of him. & before he could think anything else, he suddenly leaned closer & left a small kiss on the other cheek. Well, he didn't plan to do it, but watching Hyunjin smile at him like that just did something to him. When he pulled back Hyunjin was a blushing mess as he stared at Minho with shocked eyes. Minho quickly excused himself, scared that he might pull the stunt again if he stared at Hyunjin for long. He found his phone on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it fast & decided to text Felix, the only one who knew about Hyunjin other than Minho.
  
  

[Minnie ьэ]

STOP Sung!

  
   [Lixie ьэ]
   Minho? Hey! It's Chan actually! Lix is sleeping!
   & What do you mean by stop Sung? ьч
  

[Minnie ьэ]

I'll tell you later! But wake Felix up now. Just tell him that Jisung is coming to my house! UNINVITED!

  
   [Lixie ьэ]
   Uh... okay?
  

[Minnie ьэ]

Thanks! I promise that we'll explain everything later! G'night!

  
  
  
   Minho pocketed his phone & went back to prepare their dinner again. He was a bit worried. What if Felix wasn't fast enough & Jisung was already here by the time Felix could say or do anything. He could barely concentrate on cooking when his phone started to vibrate inside his pocket. He hurriedly pulled it out & sucked in a deep breath seeing Jisung's name on the screen.
  
   He received it.
  
   "Hey, Sung!" Minho inwardly cringed at how weirdly excited his voice was sounding at the moment.
  
   "Hey, Actually I was about to come to your place, but Felix just invited me over to his & Chan's place. Wanna come along?" Jisung's voice sounded hopeful, & Minho felt bad knowing he'd have to crush it.
  
   "Oh.. Actually, I don't think I can make it tonight. It's been a rough day, & I was actually hoping to sleep early. I'm sorry"
  
   "Hyung, it's okay! You should go to sleep now! Don't worry about it! Let's meet tomorrow!" Jisung didn't sound like he was upset, which actually relieved Minho a bit.
  
   "Please don't scare Chan hyung with your screaming again." Minho chuckled as Jisung groaned from the other side.
  
   "No promises! Bye! Love ya!"
  
   "Love you too, babe."
  
   Minho was smiling as Jisung dropped the call. Jisung was really a chaotic mess, but Minho loved him like that. & He knew Chan & Felix loved Jisung too. Jisung was really like an adorable kid sometimes. That reminded him of another adorable being inside his room at the moment. His smile turned into a big grin when he remembered Hyunjin's flushed face from a while ago.
  
   Well, Hyunjin didn't scream at him, nor did he slap Minho away. So, Minho did win! He was the first one to kiss Hyunjin!
  
   Wait- no. It was Seungmin.
  
   Minho sighed, remembering the night he saw those two kissing outside the dorm. & If it wasn't for Minho's self control & sane mind calming him down, he would've done something for real. But back then he didn't know that Seungmin & Hyunjin were his soulmates too. & Now that he knew, it changed everything.
  
  

&

  
  
   "I'm sorry"
  
   Minho looked up from his plate to the other boy in front of him in surprise. Hyunjin was still looking down at his dinner, poking the rice grains with his spoon.
  
   "I'd been giving you & Felix trouble for the last few hours. I really didn't think I'll....cry seeing you two." The last like came as a whisper.
  
   Minho stared at the younger boy for a few seconds before getting up from the chair only to sit down on the one beside Hyunjin. The younger boy seemed startled at the sudden shift, & stared at Minho a bit confused. Minho gently held Hyunjin's arm, turning him on the chair to face each other.
  
   "You'll never trouble us. You never did before either." Minho smiled when Hyunjin's eyes went teary again. "I don't know what made you stop approaching us, & I won't pry it out from you until you want to share it with us on your own,'' He held Hyunjin's hand gently, and smiled when he saw their hand sizes. Hyunjin's hands were bigger than his. "But, please know that we're not mad or upset with you. If anything, we're just worried for you. & Madly happy to have you as our soulmate."
  
   Hyunjin was crying again by now, making Minho squeeze his hand slightly. He wanted to reach out & wipe the tears away from Hyunjin's eyes, but the way Hyunjin's was holding his hands now, Minho didn't think Hyunjin would want that. So he sat there holding the other's hands until Hyunjin stopped crying for the night.
  
  
  
  
   The night wasn't really different from other nights in Minho's place. It was just Hyunjin beside him instead of Jisung or Felix, or maybe Chan. But it still made him excited, & nervous.
  
   Firstly, because Hyunjin was with him.
  
   Secondly, Hyunjin trusted him enough to let Minho sleep on the same bed with him.
  
   Thirdly, Hyunjin was looking beautiful with the moonlight illuminating the side of his face.
  
   Minho was never the overly romantic type of guy. But at that moment he felt like one. He felt like he could even bring down the moon if Hyunjin asked him to. He wanted to be the reason behind HyunjIn's smiles & the blushes. He wanted him to be the one Hyunjin would find his love first, even though he knew it was impossible. They all loved each other equally. But, still Minho couldn't help but to think of something so selfish right now.
  
  
  

******

  
  
  
   Felix got up early the next morning with a mission. He heard his mom saying a phrase every now & then.
  
   "The way to get to a man's heart is through his stomach."
  
   & Felix was taking the statement quite seriously at the moment. He was currently standing outside Changbin's place with a large grocery bag in his hand. The older had just woken up, & let Felix inside his place with a confused frown on his forehead.
  
   "I'll be borrowing your kitchen Hyung! We don't have an oven back in our place!" Felix giggled as he walked inside the apartment when Changbin nodded sleepily.
  
   "What are you making..." Changbin stole a glance at the old wall clock, "..so early in the morning?" He hopped up on the counter, sleepy eyes following the younger man rushing in his kitchen.
  
   "Do you like brownies, Hyung?" Felix asked, voice loud & excited for no particular reason.
  
   "I do, but haven't had one recently. Why? Are you making brownies?!"
  
   Felix couldn't help but to laugh at the sudden excitement in the older man's voice, & also at the funny accented broken English. He found it cute that his soulmates were trying to get better in English for him, while he was trying to learn Korean for them. & Felix could proudly say that he could now understand simple conversations in Korean.
  
   "Yep! But you can go back to sleep! I'll be fine alone!" Felix smiled at the older one who was already standing beside him, rolling the sleeves of his pajama shirt up.
  
   "Naah. I'm not sleepy anymore." Changbin shrugged, before grabbing the box of eggs from the counter. "So how many do you need?"
  
   Felix grinned as he showed four fingers to the older one.
  
  

&

  
  
   "Can I kiss him?" Felix blurted out as soon as he saw Hyunjin sleeping on Minho's bed with a peaceful expression. After he & Changbin were done with the brownies, he left for Minho's place immediately, but not without leaving some for Changbin. It was around 10 in the morning when he arrived at Minho's place, & found Minho already whipping up some breakfast for them. After leaving the brownies on the kitchen counter & plastering a kiss on the older's cheek he rushed inside Minho's room to greet Hyunjin, who was still sleeping with his lips parted like a baby. That caused the sudden urge of wanting to kiss Hyunjin out of nowhere.
  
   "Maybe, but when he's awake. Otherwise if he wakes up with your grinning face near him he might wake up the whole neighborhood with his scream." Minho snorted before leaving the younger two in the room.
  
   Felix looked back at the sleepyhead in front of him fondly. This was the first time he was watching the older boy sleep, & he couldn't help but to notice how peaceful Hyunjin looked at this moment. He'd always felt an invisible wall separating Hyunjin from the others. Something always seemed to cage down the older boy. Felix wanted to fight it so bad. & Maybe he would when the other would finally let him in.
  
   In the middle of his thinking, Hyunjin started to stir awake slowly. Felix wanted to coo at the way Hyunjin scrunched his nose slightly before trying to blink away the sleep from his eyes. The taller boy almost looked like a cat while stretching his hands slightly. & A fond grin soon found its way to Felix's lips when Hyunjin closed his eyes again & buried his head back on the pillow, unable to fight the sleep away. He crawled up on the bed before carefully settling beside the sleeping boy. Felix had always known that Hyunjin was pretty. He actually would often find himself admiring the beauty that Hyunjin was. But being able to see the boy from this close just made him realize that Hyunjin might be one of prettiest people he had ever seen. There was this unbelievable softness mapping the older's face, rosy pink lips jutted out slightly like kids. There was a little bit of pink dusting on his exposed cheek, most probably from pressing it on the pillow for a long time. Long black lashes outlined his eyes into beautiful shape. His long hair framing his face was just like a cherry on the top.
  
   "-lix.....Can you please stop staring?"
  
   Felix's grin widened hearing Hyunjin's muffled voice. The pink on the older boy's cheek darkened to a darker shade, hinting the other was embarrassed because of Felix's intense gaze on him.
  
   "How did you realize it's me?"
  
   Hyunjin finally peeled his eyes open, turning slightly to face Felix. Half of his face was still hidden by the pillow, adding more to his soft look.
  
   "I just knew somehow when you lied down"
  
   Hyunjin whispered softly, eyes still locked with Felix. He looked so soft, so pure while saying that. It did things to Felix's little heart. But the older boy had no idea of it; he wasn't aware how Felix's heart was somersaulting at the moment. Anytime it'd take a leap if Hyunjin didn't stop looking at him. & Felix really didn't want Hyunjin to look away from him. He did that before & Felix didn't like it, not even a bit.
  
   "I'm sorry...."
  
   His brows went up in surprise. He didn't expect Hyunjin to apologize for anything. Then he remembered the time when he confronted Hyunjin two days ago. His eyes softened a bit. That day Hyunjin looked scared when Felix held his hand, yesterday was the same. He had a panic attack seeing Minho & Felix together. Now, too, Hyunjin's eyes were looking sad as they stared back at him.
  
   "I never meant to yell at you, nor I wanted to hurt you." Hyunjin's eyes suddenly turned glossy as his voice started to waver slightly, "I'm sorry"
  
   Felix panicked. Hyunjin's eyes were once again filled with tears, & he didn't like it. He didn't even like the idea of Hyunjin hurting again. His hands immediately flew to the other's face, cupping a side lovingly as he leaned closer to the older boy. They were only a few inches away right now, which gave Felix the clear view of the hidden dark circles under Hyunjin's red rimmed eyes
  
   Felix hated it.
  
   "It's okay y'know. It really is okay. I'm sorry too y'know" Felix smiled when Hyunjin's brows knitted closer in confusion. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was just way too happy to find out that it was you who was the last missing piece of our puzzle. I just got too excited to notice your fears. I'm sorry."
  
   Hyunjin shook his head, tears ready to fall.
  
   "It isn't your fault-"
  
   "Then it isn't your fault either that you got scared.. It's okay to be scared, but look at you now. You're facing your fears now, aren't you?" Felix gently wiped the tears that finally slipped out from the elder's eyes. Hyunjin was now holding Felix's hand, pressing it down to his cheeks more as if he was scared that it'll be gone if he let go.
  
   "I know it's early. I know I might be taking this really fast..." Felix felt his heart beating fast as he tried to voice out his feelings. He didn't like when Hyunjin cried like this, but he couldn't help but to notice that even with the tears clinging to the other's lashes, Hyunjin looked beautiful.
  
   ".... But I really do love you. A lot."
  
   There. Felix had said it in a small whisper, but loud enough for Hyunjin to hear it.
  
   Hyunjin was still holding Felix's hand to his face as his eyes searched for something in Felix's own pair. & When a new set of tears started to fall from his eyes, while his lips curved up in a small smile, Felix knew Hyunjin had found what he was looking for.
  
   "Thank you..."
  
   Felix didn't know why Hyunjin was thanking him. & He didn't want to ask the reason if Hyunjin himself didn't want to tell him. But he had a hunch.
  
   Was it because he said that he loved Hyunjin?
  
   The thought wasn't entertaining. Hyunjin deserved all the love that universe had to offer. & Felix vowed to show that to the older boy every single day from now on; until the day when Hyunjin would tell him those three magic words back & even after that.
  
  
   Chapter End Notes
   You guys can find me @chanestry in Twitter!
  

You're not alone [TW]

   Chapter Summary
   Life is cruel, & never leaves a chance to make one feel alone.
   But, at times like this, it's one's soulmates who tell him that he's never alone.
   Chapter Notes
   Hi guys! Here to inform you about the tags for this chapter!
   ьч mental breakdown, panic attack
   See the end of the chapter for more notes
   Changbin finding out about Hyunjin was a pure accident. At least that's what Hyunjin believed. The tattoo artist realized their plan faster than they thought he would, while Felix & Minho were thanking every deity up there for making Hyunjin this oblivious to their scheme. It had been two days since Hyunjin had talked to Felix & Minho. Two days of him finding comfort in two of his soulmates. & Two days of him skipping class to avoid the others. But eventually he had to crawl out of Minho's sacred apartment because his grades mattered a lot.
  
   Besides that, Minho had also threatened to call Jisung over, who Hyunjin wanted to avoid as much as he could for the moment. He was still scared to meet the others, & Minlix duo couldn't help but to feel guilty after threatening the boy. But they didn't know what else to do.
  
   It was Felix who had dropped Hyunjin in front of his studio with a promise to get him after his classes. At first the artist had told Felix that it wasn't needed, but after a cute glare from the Australian boy he decided to keep his mouth shut. He was just worried that Chan would be upset knowing Felix was spending time with him. Same was for Minho & Jisung. He never wanted to be the reason his soulmates fought. But Minho sent him a series of texts about joining them later in the new group chat that Felix had created yesterday. Hyunjin couldn't find it in him to deny them, & he also doubted that Minho & Felix would listen if he said no. If anything those two would kidnap him, if it was necessary.
  
   After Felix left, Hyunjin found himself losing in the large 36/36 inches canvas in front of him. It had been a while since he felt like painting. But today it was different. His heart & mind felt a bit lighter today. There was also a small smile on his lips as he tied the apron around him, already having an idea what to do with this empty canvas in front of him. He settled himself on the tool in front of the canvas & picked up a size 10 brush before dipping it in a deep red acrylic color. & With the first stroke on the blank canvas Hyunjin forgot about everything else.
  
  
   So, after a while, when the door suddenly opened with a familiar figure wearing a leather jacket & black boots on the other side, Hyunjin didn't notice; not until the figure called out to him.
  
  

&

  
  
   Changbin's heavy boot was clicking on the empty hall of SNU. He had come here to meet Felix, who had *accidentally* grabbed the keys of his workplace last night when he came to bake brownies *once again* at the older's place. Changbin didn't know how that happened, but didn't question it either. Felix had requested him to get the keys from him as he couldn't leave the university now; he had class in 10minutes, which sounded reasonable enough for Changbin to step into SNU at 10am in the morning.
  
   He was supposed to leave the keys in Hyunjin's studio for Changbin.
  
   Why? Changbin didn't know. Felix could've given those keys to Jisung or Minho, or Jeongin. But that didn't happen, so he guessed all of them had classes to attend. Besides, someone needed to check the studio to see if Hyunjin had returned or not. So, he didn't say anything when Felix sent him a text that he had already left the keys in Hyunjin's studio, beside the big blank canvas in the middle of the room. But as soon as he opened the door of the studio he felt his heart stop for a moment.
  
   Hyunjin was here. He was back.
  
   The boy hadn't noticed him yet. Just like the first time, Hyunjin was invested in whatever he was doing on that big ass canvas in front of him. But the difference was, there was a small smile playing on his lips now unlike the first time. He looked relaxed. Until, Changbin's grip on the handle loosened & it sprang back to it's position with a sound loud enough to break the artist's concentration.
  
   The said boy flinched slightly before turning head toward the intruder. Their eyes locked. Changbin once again found his heart skipping a beat like the first time. He watched as Hyunjin's eyes widened with recognition, followed by panic & then relaxation, all three in a few seconds. Now, a peachy pink started to spread over his face as he stumbled up on his feet while trying to get up from the tool he was sitting on. & Changbin had almost ran to hold the boy, thinking that the boy was going to fall. Hyunjin's cheek flushed even more into a deeper shade of red in embarrassment as he somehow managed to stand tall, eyes shyly turning into small crescents as lips curled up in a small smile.
  
   "Hi...hyung"
  
  

******

  
  
   Yeonjun was late. Like he had always been ever since he got promoted to middle school. Why? Now, he had a long list of valid reasons for that. But teachers never cared, & he stopped trying to reason with them. He let them be & brand him as a problematic student soon. But those reasons were no longer valid ever since he moved to Seoul & got himself in Yonsei. Him being late now was a habit of his, that he couldn't get rid off. Not that he tried. Another habit of his was bullying others. He, secretly, would call it his self defense actually. This started when he was in middle school after his parents split up. & His favorite target was Hwang Hyunjin, the shy lone boy. But over the years he regretted it. He regretted meeting Hwang Hyunjin. He regretted bullying people, especially Hwang Hyunjin. & He regretted that his self defense mechanism was killing someone else from inside. It killed him from inside, but he never could say anything to anyone else. He thought he was gonna die with all his regrets. But the recent "decent" talk with Hyunjin changed everything. He felt a lot lighter now that he had finally apologized to the boy who he'd tormented the most, & a tad bit of guilt because he didn't deserve to be forgiven so easily. But then again, this was the same Hwang Hyunjin who had helped him putting on bandages over his bruises behind the white curtains of the middle school infirmary, even though he knew that Yeonjun was gonna bully him again when they'd be back in the hallway. Hwang Hyunjin never stopped caring for others, even though those same people would crumple him down under their merciless heavy boots. Hwang Hyunjin was one of a kind. & now, Yeonjun felt blessed that the boy wanted to be his friend even after all that.
  
  
   Elevator finally stopped at his floor, & Yeonjun stepped out in a packed hallway lazily. He mentally groaned as he realized that his class was already over, students were rushing out. His eyes landed on a few dickhead ex- friends of his, who were standing outside the classes, stealing not so sneaky glances at him. Raising an eyebrow at that he decided to plug his airpods in his ears & leave. But as he was about to turn back, someone else caught his eyes.
  
   Kim Seungmin.
  
   Another former friend of his who wasn't a dickhead. If anything, Seungmin was the only one who was different from all of them. & Yeonjun really looked up to that former friend of his. After all, it was Seungmin who stopped him from doing more damage to Hyunjin back at their hometown a few months ago. He was grateful that the boy was there for Hyunjin, who couldn't speak for himself nor could he help himself out. & He was another one that Yeonjun regretted losing. He wanted to apologize to the other boy. But maybe later. He was already drained from the talk with Hyunjin two days ago. He'd love to cherish the lightheaded fuzzy feeling that he had now for at least a few days more, then he'd go apologize to Seungmin.
  
   But that was something he could worry about later, because he had a bigger thing to worry about now.
  
   What the hell was Kim Seungmin doing with that dickhead friend group of his?
  
   Seungmin, for some reason, looked restless as he was speaking to the group. Then suddenly the whole group suddenly looked at Yeonjun's direction, making the boy follow their gazes & ended up seeing Yeonjun too. The latter felt confused & awkward, but still didn't move a bit when he realized that Seungmin was now marching toward him. A frown found its way to his forehead as he saw the look on the other boy's face. He, for some reason, looked scary, almost resembling the time back at the grocery shop a few months ago. Yeonjun couldn't understand why.
  
   What the hell happened now?
  
   Confused, he watched the boy shrugging off his backpack down on the floor as he came closer. He pulled out his airpods wanting to give his full attention to the other boy, but before he could utter a single word, a heavy punch landed on the left side of his face, making him stumble down on the floor with a pained groan.
  
   "Shit! The fuck wrong with you Kim?!" Yeonjun glared at his former friend who was now standing tall over him, fuming like a madman.
  
   "I told you to leave him alone, didn't I?!"
  
   Yeonjun blanked for a second, before realization dawned upon him.
  
   Hwang Hyunjin. Seungmin was talking about Hyunjin.
  
  

&

  
  
   Seungmin was sitting inside the library, almost glaring at his laptop now. He had been here for three hours now & still couldn't finish a single paragraph of this fucking assignment. It wasn't like he needed to finish it immediately, he still had two weeks time to submit it, but he thought he could divert his mind from a certain missing soulmate of his by focusing on the assignment. But that didn't happen.
  
   He let out a defeated sigh as he finally turned off the laptop & fished out his phone from his bag. He bit his lips as he saw a notification sitting on top of his screen. Apparently, a few days ago when he finally met all his dumbass soulmates back in SNU, his phone number was snatched by an angsty squirrel, & the next thing he knew that he was added in a group chat with all of his soulmates, minus Hyunjin. Not that he minded, but it was new for him to get used to it; his soulmates were all talking to each other, asking about each other's days, & about Hyunjin's whereabouts. It was chaotic, but heartwarming, because he knew he had them now. & Just by seeing the number of unread texts on the notification Seungmin couldn't fight the small smile from blooming on his face.
  
   They talk a lot.
  
   He opened the chat log & immediately regretted it (he didn't).
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   Good morning guys. I'm heading to Hyunjin's studio now. I'll send you an update as soon as I reach there.
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   BIN HYUNG IS ALREADY CHECKING THE STUDIO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THERE!
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   I SAW CHANGBIN GOING THERE!
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   Okay...? I'll go to my studio then
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   What's up with you hyungs? ьч @Minho hyung @Felix hyung
   & Good morning Chan hyung!
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   Good morning everyone ьэ
   Minus Minho hyung ьч
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   Babe ьч I told you I'm sorry
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   Guys do you hear something? ьэьч
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   ьчьчьч
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   ьчьчьч
   What did Hyung do now? ьч
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   Nothing!
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   Oh? Really now? ьч
   Then who's ditching me everytime I ask him to meet for the last two days? ьч Your cats? ьч
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   ьчьчьч
   It wasn't intentional!!!
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   Oh? It sounds familiar?
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   ьчьчьч
   Not you too hyung!! ьчьч
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   I was just saying....
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   It's true though
   Lix hyung & Minho hyung keep ditching us from for the last two days
   They even ditched me during lunch, & I had to eat alone!
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   Hey I was with you! @Jeongin
   But it's true ьч those two kept ditching us without any reason ьч
   Even Changbin hyung can testify against you two!!
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   You're talking as if we committed a crime!
   We were just...
   A bit busy...
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Yeah!
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   With what?
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Uhh.......
  
   [Changbin hyung ьэьэ]
   Uh.. guys?
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   Hyung!
   Did Jinnie hyung come back already?!
  
   [Changbin hyung ьэьэ]
   Uh..
   No... he didn't...
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   Oh...
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   It's okay Innie!
   How about we both check the studio for Jinnie during lunch hour?
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   NO!
   I mean I can check! I have practice on that floor at noon!
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Yeah! Me too! I can check it with Minho hyung!
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   ....guys
   Is there anything that you're not telling us?
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   Uhm..no?
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Nothing at all!
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   Sus..
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   They're definitely hiding something!
   Also, Puppy boy @seungmin
   I can see you're reading our conversation
   Would it hurt to reply? ьч
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

.......

I was just going through all the texts

You guys talk a lot...

Not my fault that I can't keep up...

Also, I have a name y'know ьч

  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   Idc
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   Ig jisungie hyung is still petty about the...
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

???

  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   ....kiss
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Wait- What kISS?
   SEUNGMIN KISSED JISUNG?!
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   NO!
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

NO?!

  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   Nope... he actually kissed....
  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   ???
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   Jinnie hyung....
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

.......

he told you that?

  
   [Chan hyung ьэ]
   Oh?
  
   [Changbin hyung ьэьэ]
   Uh....?
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE- WHEN?!
  
   [Jeongin ьщ]
   He didn't tell us... but-
  
   [Angry Squirrel ьэЧ]
   We saw that happening ьчьчьч
  
   [Felix ьэ]
   & None of you told us?!
   Chan hyung! Bin hyung!
   You're seeing this!?
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

......

I think I've a class now

Talk to you guys later!

  
   [Felix ьэ]
   Come back here!
   We're not done talking u traitor!
  
  
  
   Seungmin hurriedly closed the app & let out a big sigh. He felt his ears turning red just from the knowledge that someone saw him kissing Hyunjin. & Now that he thought about it, he realized why Jisung was glaring at him like he had eaten the latter's last piece of chicken that day in SNU. But as much as it embarrassed him tk get caught like this, he couldn't help but to grin realizing that he was the first one to kiss Hyunjin. But the smile didn't last longer when he remembered how Hyunjin had pushed him away later, how he was trying to escape from them, their fate. He unlocked his phone & opened the app again. But this time he opened the Hyunjin's chat log, ignoring the threats coming from Felix on the other one.
  
   [Angel ьщ]
   Hey....
   Can we pls talk?

Unread

   He waited. But as usual, Hyunjin didn't even see his texts. A disheartened sigh escaped his lips as he started to pack up his things lazily. He was done for today. All he needed now was his bed & a long sleep in the middle of the day since he didn't really have any class today. He slung his back over his shoulder & quietly made his way out. He was almost near the elevator when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him.
  
   Kyuhyun?
  
   "Hey, what's up?" He asked, eyeing his friend warily who was literally panting as he stopped in front of Seungmin.
  
   "Shit- I've been calling you! Where's your phone man??" Seungmin brows furrowed at that, before he remembered that he put his phone on silent when he went to the library this morning & hadn't turned back to the general when he got out. & He once again threw it inside his bag after the small worrisome conversation with the others a while ago.
  
   "Oh.. I was in the library-"
  
   "Have you recently talked with Hyunjin?" Kyuhyun interrupted Seungmin, making him surprised at the sudden mention of his missing soulmate. Yeah, the other would often ask him about Hyunjin, but for some reason this time Seungmin felt different. Why would his friends come looking for him running just to ask about Hyunjin?
  
   "...I haven't." Seungmin drawled slightly, cautious eyes pinned on his friend. "Why do you ask so suddenly?"
  
   Kyuhyun finally stood straight, still panting slightly with his hands on his hips. "I heard a few people talking at the cafeteria today." Kyuhyun started, & Seungmin could already feel the dread settling inside his chest for an unknown reason.
  
   "Someone saw Yeonjun with a long haired boy, in front of SNU this Monday." Seungmin felt himself paling at the mention of Yeonjun & Hyunjin in the same sentence. & Monday? It was the day after Hyunjin went missing.
  
   "Seung... I think it's Hyunjin."
  

&

  
   Seungmin considered him to be a pretty calm & lightheaded person. He rarely got angry or mad at someone. But this fucking Yeonjun had managed tick him off twice already in just a few months. He was now angrily marching down the architecture department's hallway, looking for the older boy. But much to his dismay, it seemed the person he was looking for wasn't there. He tried asking around people, & a girl, who most probably had a huge creepy crush on Yeonjun, not-so-surprisingly could tell him about the older's schedule for the day.
  
   "He's supposed to be on the fifth floor now, in Mr. Do's class. He'll be out any moment."
  
   Seungmin didn't waste any seconds after that. He thanked the girl hurriedly & rushed up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator at the moment. But it seemed like he was late. The class had already ended, students were already in the hall. He still walked down the hall until he found the group Yeonjun used to hang around before. Seungmin didn't like any of them, & secretly he was glad when he heard from Kyuhyun that Yeonjun had ditched the group a while ago. But at this moment, he didn't know who else to ask about the other's whereabouts. So, he gave it a try. & He made the right decision by asking them.
  
   Just as he took Yeonjun's name in front of them, all of them suddenly turned their heads at the other end of the hallway at once. Seungmin followed their gaze & finally saw the person he had been looking for. Yeonjun looked clueless as he stared back at them. But Seungmin knew that boy was anything but clueless when it came to Hyunjin's matter. A sudden anger started to build up inside him when he remembered his first encounter with Hyunjin. Yeonjun had terrorized the boy, & who knew for how long he had been doing that to Hyunjin.
  
  
   "Someone saw Yeonjun with a long haired boy, in front of SNU this Monday"
  
  
   He knew that there could be a possibility that whoever Kyuhyun was talking about wasn't his Hyunjin, there could be a plenty of people with long hair. But still couldn't help the anger rushing through his veins at the moment.
  
   What if it really was Hyunjin? What if Yeonjun had once again terrorized the boy again when he was already scared out of his wits?
  
   Seungmin felt his jaws tightened at the clueless expressions of the older boy at the end of the hall. & Before he could stop himself, he was already marching toward the taller boy & throwing a hard punch earning terrified gasps from the people around him. Yeonjun let out a pained groan as he fell down with his back on the tiled floor.
  
   "Shit! The fuck wrong with you Kim?!" There was a nasty red bruise already forming on Yeonjun's left cheek as the boy glared at him angrily.
  
   "I told you to leave him alone, didn't I?!" Seungmin tried to lower down his voice, but he wasn't sure if could do it right.
  
   The injured boy, on the other hand, looked puzzled for a moment, almost making Seungmin think that he made a mistake until he saw something flashed in the older boy's eyes. Seungmin narrowed his eyes in annoyance when the other let out a humorless chuckle as he got up from the floor.
  
   "& Why would I listen to you, Kim? Hmm?" Yeonjun smirked at him as he got back on his feet, & Seungmin wanted to punch him again. So, it was Hyunjin after all. He took a heavy step closer to the taller boy, who still had this annoying grin on his face.
  
   "Because he's my soulmate." His voice was loud enough for anyone around them to hear him. "He is mine. & I'm not like him to sit back & watch you walk over him. No. That's not gonna happen, Yeonjun." Seungmin watched as Yeonjun's grin slowly fell from his face, jaw clenching with every word that Seungmin spilled. "So, you. Better tell me what you have done to him!" Seungmin narrowed his eyes dangerously.
  
   "Me?" Yeonjun once again let out a humourless chuckle, throwing his head back before he turned to Seungmin again with a challenging glare this time. "Don't you think you're being a hypocrite now, Kim? Otherwise, tell me, why he was running away from you?"
  
   Seungmin felt a lump forming in his throat. Hyunjin was indeed running away from them, from him. But hearing it from someone like Yeonjun hit him harder than he thought it ever would. Because Yeonjun was right. What had Seungmin done to make Hyunjin stay? Why didn't he come to look for his soulmate faster? Why did he waste time moping around his room just because Hyunjin had rejected him? He could've just looked for Hyunjin again & held him down, told him how much he meant to Seungmin & the others until the boy believed him. He did none of that. But, he wasn't gonna let Yeonjun walk over him with that. He wasn't gonna let Yeonjun win.
  
   "That's none of your fucking business." Seungmin shot back, jabbing a finger on Yeonjun's chest. "If I ever saw you around him again, it wouldn't end with just a single punch. Remember it." Seungmin warned him for one last time before stepping back without breaking eye contact. With one last glare at the taller boy, he grabbed his bag from the floor & marched away while pulling his phone out from his pocket.
  
   Seungmin rushed down to the ground floor before opening the newest group chat sitting on top of his notification bar.
  
  

[Seungmin ьэ]

Someone saw Hyunjin at SNU this Monday

Check his studio & dorm, if possible his every class

  

Seen

  
  

&

  
  
   Pathetic
  
   His jaws clenched tight as the voice inside his head came back to taunt him again. He knew he was pathetic. He had known it for a long time now. & He also knew this day was gonna come. But he didn't know it would come so soon; just when he finally took the right step.
  
   Yeonjun stared back at his reflection in the mirror. His real self. A loser. This was what he tried hard to hide from everyone. He didn't want everyone one to find out that he was a fucking loser who couldn't forget a boy no matter how hard he tried to.
  
   He didn't need everyone to know that he couldn't forget Hyunjin no matter how much he tried to. At the end of the day, it would always be Hyunjin, the one who never looked back at him before & Now he knew, Hyunjin would never look back at him in the future too. After all, the boy had finally found his soulmate.
  
   Kim Seungmin.
  
   A dry chuckle resonated in the empty room as he remembered what his former friend had warned him about. Yeonjun let himself slip down on the floor with his legs stretched in front of him. He lazily fished out cigarettes from his bag before putting one between his slightly swollen lips, wincing slightly in the process. He found the lighter in his jeans pocket with a bit of struggle & lit up the cigarette before throwing the lighter in his bag. Holding the cigarette with two fingers on his lips, he took a long drag, inhaling all the smoke until it started to burn inside his lungs.
  
   He let out the smoke slowly, feeling slightly lighter than before. Then again, took a long drag, & released when it started to burn. He kept repeating the cycle until he felt ready to forget a certain person for a while.
  
   What a fucked up life he had.
  
  

******

  
  
   Changbin couldn't avert his eyes from the boy in front of him. Hyunjin was now going through the menu of the cafe. After their meeting & panicked greetings back in Hyunjin's studio, both decided to talk later. Apparently, Changbin had some prior appointments today in his tattoo parlor, & Hyunjin was also very nervous to start a conversation. The boy was literally stammering so hard after their initial greeting back in the studio. When Changbin offered to come back again after a few hours Hyunjin didn't seem to mind as he quickly nodded. So, Changbin grabbed the keys from behind the canvas, that Hyunjin had no idea where it came from & left with a promise to come back soon. But Changbin wouldn't lie. Leaving Hyunjin alone back in the studio was making him worried.
  
   What if Hyunjin leaves again?
   Should he tell the others?
  
   That's when he remembered that it was Felix who had asked him to get the keys in the first place. So, he guessed that the boy knew. He had to. He fished out his phone from his pocket only to frown at the bunch of notifications he had on his phone screen. But he wasn't surprised when he saw that most of them were from their group chat, a few from Felix & also a few from Minho (well, this surprised him a bit). Both Minho & Felix asked him if everything went well in the studio.
  
   So, they knew.
  
   He replied to their queries first then opened the group chat. He almost felt nervous when Jisung was talking his name so that he could testify against Minho & Felix about their sudden disappearance for the last two days. It didn't take him to connect the dots. He realized that Hyunjin had most probably came back that time & Minlix duo had found out first, & for whatever reason, they were hiding it from others. So, was he supposed to hide it from the others too?
  
   Maybe he was. He didn't know if Hyunjin was ready to face them all based on their previous talk.
  
   Now they were sitting inside the cafe, Hyunjin was very much invested in the dessert collection here while Changbin was painfully invested in the boy. Hyunjin didn't even notice for how long Changbin was staring at him fondly, or how much the older man looked like a whipped boyfriend at the moment. This was so much different than the time when they first met. The younger boy was actually smiling, genuinely this time. Back then the boy had this broken smile on his lips that almost made Changbin want to beat up the person responsible for it. When he got a call from Chan a few days ago about Felix crying in the former's studio, he rushed there not knowing he was about find out how dumb they all were. Firstly Felix, & then Seungmin, both had confirmed Hyunjin being their last soulmate. Changbin felt like an idiot that time. Of course Hyunjin was their soulmate, otherwise why would Changbin suddenly feel like he had a connection with a boy he never saw or even heard of before? Why would he feel like his world stopped for a second when Hyunjin's eyes locked with his own pair for the first time? Why would he feel worried that he & others would have to fight Hyunjin's soulmates to get the latter? & How come all of his soulmates were already smitten for the same boy?
  
   The hints were all over the place, & they were dumb & blind not to see them. It was only Seungmin, who was able to connect the dots on his own, & came looking for the others.
  
  
   "Hyung! What do you recommend?" Changbin was brought back to present by Hyunjin's whiny voice. The boy's eyes were still glued to the colorful menu. "They have so much stuff! I donno what to get!" The pout can be heard through his cute small whine, making the corner of the older boy's lips curl up slightly.
  
   Changbin picked up the menu & started looking through it. "They have good cheesecakes. You can try them." Changbin never was really a fan of desserts actually. He was more of a healthy diet person than a dessert lover. But recently he had been hanging out with Jisung & Felix a lot, & both boys literally functioned over sweet things. & Jisung was literally obsessed with cheesecakes. He was Changbin's new gym buddy, aside from Chan. But that boy's meal was literally the opposite of what Changbin & Chan would eat to get in better shape. Even Minho would eat healthier than Jisung. It was Jisung who first discovered the cheesecakes here in this cafe, & Changbin found himself loving them too.
  
   "Then cheesecake it is! I'll take the blueberry one I think! The purple on it looks good!" Hyunjin beamed, eyes now locked on the picture of the blueberry cheesecake on the menu. & Changbin couldn't help but to laugh.
  
  
   Their order came in a few minutes while both boys sat in peaceful silence. Changbin was actually slightly nervous at the moment. He was a bit worried about what to do or how to start a conversation without scaring the boy away. But to his surprise, it was Hyunjin who broke the silence first.
  
   "I wanted to apologize...to you....for the mess you've been dragged into because of me."
  
   Changbin silently studied the boy in front of him. Hyunjin was now looking down at his dessert, poking the blueberry pulp on the cake with his fork. He looked a bit nervous, but not in a bad way which actually relieved Changbin.
  
   "Y'know we've only met once... there's no way for you to make me go through a *mess* as you're saying." Changbin leaned back on his chair, folding his arms in front of him. He watched Hyunjin's lips quirked up in a small smile as the boy noticed the fake drawl in his voice.
  
   "Well, I did kinda dump my shit thoughts on you on our first meet, didn't I?" Hyunjin chuckled lightly, before looking up at Changbin with an embarrassed smile.
  
   "Besides, I'm sure I kinda scared you... all with my....sudden disappearance a few days ago." The smile on his lips couldn't hide the guilt that was the boy feeling, & Changbin couldn't help but to soften up more for the boy if that was even possible.
  
   "I'm sure Felix had kinda scared you more, cornering you all of a sudden. He might look like sunshine, but his determination sometimes scares me." Changbin joked around, making Hyunjin shake his head slightly, a soft chuckle already out from his lips. "Besides.." Changbin pressed his lips together, contemplating if he should say what was on his mind. But Hyunjin didn't look like someone who'd just get up & run away at the moment if Changbin talked about others. So, he went for it.
  
   "I'm glad that you talked about your....insecurities with me. It must've been scary just to think that you'd need to get acceptance from all of us." Changbin watched Hyunjin look down again, the smile on his lips was dimming slightly. He didn't like it. The boy in front of him should always have a brilliant smile on his lips; that suited the boy better.
  
   Changbin straightened up before carefully stretching his hand forward, opening his palm for Hyunjin to take his hand. The boy stared at his hand for a moment before hesitantly placing his hand over it. Changbin felt his lips curl up in a contented smile as he clasped his calloused fingers tightly around Hyunjin's soft hands.
  
   "I know it's hard. I know you're scared." Changbin leaned forward, holding Hyunjin's hand lovingly. "But trust me when I say it's okay to trust them. To trust me." His voice had turned into a whisper, loud enough only for Hyunjin to hear. "I might've not been around them for a long time, but I feel like I know them for a long time already. & Trust me when I tell you that none of them are gonna judge you for anything. From what I've seen, they like you a lot. More than you can think, Hyunjin-ah"
  
   Hyunjin was sniffing quitely by the time Changbin was done talking. His eyes were red, tears ready to fall.
  
   "Y'know, I never thought I'd say this to someone. But..." Hyunjin looked up at Changbin, a bit of curiosity was visible in his face as he waited for Changbin to continue. The corners of the older one's lips curled up more at that. "You really look adorable right now."
  
   Changbin's smile turned into a satisfied grin as a deep blush reached up from the younger boy's neck to his face as the boy let out a cute whine in protest. He loved it, the way Hyunjin was doing his best to avoid his eyes, embarrassed at Changbin's shameless attempt at flirting, but didn't even try to move his hand away when the older boy laced their fingers together.
  
   Changbin was happy. He felt complete now that he had Hyunjin beside him. & Hopefully, they'd be together for a long time, with others. Something he had learnt from his life was to never take anything for granted & cherish what he had now. He had learnt it in a hard way, & even though that happened years ago, the scars were still fresh in his heart. It didn't hurt that bad nowadays as it did before. But the regret was still there. So, when he first heard them, his soulmates, he made a promise to himself.
  
   He wouldn't take them for granted. He'd cherish them, tell them how much they meant to him, how much he appreciated them. He knew nothing would last forever. He promised himself that whatever time he'd get with his soulmates, he'd spend that loving them without any regret. & He was beyond happy, when he felt that tingling feeling inside his chest when Hyunjin looked at their entangled hands with a small shy smile. He might've met the other six before he met Hyunjin. He might have felt the connection with others before he knew about the boy in front of him. But he wouldn't deny the crazy warm feeling inside his chest knowing the boy trusted him enough to confront his fears, & apologize for something he couldn't control. This was the first time he felt like this. His attachment to Hyunjin came naturally to him. It almost hit him like the 'love at first sight' thingy that he'd heard multiple times in songs & movies. He knew he'd eventually fall for the others romantically, soon. But, Hyunjin was his first love. He knew maybe it wasn't the same for Hyunjin, after all the boy met with the others. But it didn't matter. As long as Hyunjin was by his side, allowed Changbin to love him, the latter was more than okay with that.
  
   & he knew it was gonna take time. He knew very well the dread that came from the fear of being rejected. He lived with that fear for years, until he broke the cycle & ran. & Even when he found out about Chan & the others in the restaurant a month ago, the fear was there. Maybe a small one, but still it was there, hiding at some corner of his chest, waiting for the worst. But he was experienced enough to hide it well, so none of soulmate had any idea about how many breakdowns he had gone through in those few seconds of silence when they all stared at him, surprised. But in the end, all those fears were for nothing. His soulmates had so much love to give, & enough space in their heart for Changbin that he almost cried out of happiness. But once again, he was better in controlling himself, so no one knew.
  
   & He knew that same thing was going inside that pretty little head of the boy sitting in front of him. Hyunjin's life wasn't easy, but he was still strong & Changbin knew that because the boy still hadn't given up on himself, he was still sitting in front of Changbin, facing his fears one by one. Hyunjin was so fucking strong, but the boy barely had an idea about this. Life hadn't treated him well up until now, so no matter what Changbin would say now, it wasn't gonna erase those fears & negativity inside Hyunjin's mind that had been growing from a sprout to a fully grown tree over the years. It's gonna take time & love, a lot of both, but he was sure that he can help the boy live the life to his fullest, they all can. He believed in his soulmates.
  
   They all would shower Hyunjin with so much love, that Hyunjin wouldn't even think about leaving ever again. They'll make up for all those years that they'd been missing on Hyunjin. They'd give the boy unlimited love & teach the boy to love himself again, & find the better in him.
  
   & Changbin decided to put it as one of his life goals to do that; a new entry to his new list of life goals.
      -- Learning to love them all, & to know how it'd feel to be loved back by all of them with the same intensity
      -- To establish 3racha on professional level
      -- To make Hyunjin love himself
  
  

&

  
  
   It was around 9pm when Changbin dropped off Hyunjin in front of the latter's dorm. They spent the whole day together, almost like a date except they both were hidden inside Changbin's tattoo parlor, while the latter showed his work materials for the artist to watch them with awe. Hyunjin was very much invested in all the designs of the tattoos that Changbin had done over the years. Younger boy's eyes sparkled with excitement when the tattoo artist offered to teach him if Hyunjin wanted to. The boy immediately nodded, excitement was evident on the big grin that adorned the pretty boy's face in an instant. Then he remembered the boy himself was an artist, making Changbin have another thought in his mind.
  
   What if Hyunjin designed a tattoo for Changbin?
  
   Just the thought of having Hyunjin's drawing inked on his body made him shiver, in a good way. That would be too intimate for now. Maybe in the future he could request the boy.
  
  
   Changbin was so invested in his not-planned-date with Hyunjin, that he had missed the texts coming from all of their soulmates. & By the time he saw them, it was late. He was confused at first, not understanding the chaos going in the group chat. But, then he opened another group that had Felix, Minho & him only, & realization dawned upon him like a bucket of cold water.
  
   [Minho Hyung ьэ]
   Changbin?
   Is Hyunjin with you?
  
   [Brownie boy ьэ]
   HYUNG?! WHERE ARE YOU?!
   Somehow Minnie had found out about Hyunjin!
   He texted in the group, asking to look for Hyunjin earlier before he came himself to look for Hyunjin ьч
   Please tell me Hyunjin is with you!
  
   [Minho hyung ьэ]
   Okay, they checked the art studio & his dorm already. Hyunjin isn't there, but a few students had told them that they saw Hyunjin today.
   With one of our soulmates
   They couldn't tell us your name, but everyone pretty much had an idea that it was you.
  
   [Brownie boy ьэ]
   HYUNG WHERE ARE YOUUU
   JISUNG HAD RAN OFF EARLIER
   MOST PROBABLY GOING TO LOOK FOR YOU
  
  
   Changbin cursed slightly when he realized almost all of them had called him today. He knew he couldn't lie to everyone's face about Hyunjin, so he decided to call them instead of meeting any of them. He impatiently tapped his foot on the elevator, waiting to reach his floor. & As soon as he stepped out on his floor he searched for Chan's number. But before he could press the call button, a familiar voice resonated in the hallway, calling his name.
  
   "Binnie hyung?"
  
   "....Jisung?" Changbin felt his heart hammering inside his chest as he walked closer to the younger boy. Jisung looked restless. "What are y-"
  
   "He was with you, right?"
  
   Changbin blanked for a second at the desperation oozing out from the younger's voice, before a wave of guilt hit him. Hard.
  
   "Jisung-"
  
   "Please, hyung." Changbin's heart ached as he watched the tears glistening the younger boy's eyes, making him look vulnerable. "Just tell me if he's okay! Please?"
  
   Changbin sighed, and pulled the restless boy in his arms. He tightened his arms around the boy as he realized that Jisung was sniffing while holding his shirt tightly enough to leave wrinkles. This boy in his arms was hurting, & Changbin just knew he couldn't lie. At least not with Jisung.
  
   "He's okay, Sung. He's okay." Changbin whispered softly, making the boy immediately relax in his arms with a relieved sigh. But he was still sniffing, & Changbin had a vague doubt that the boy would start crying in his arms soon. He really had a bunch of emotional, adorable soulmates.
   "But, he's scared, Sung." Changbin nuzzled the side of the younger's head with his nose slightly, inhaling the soft fragrance coming from Jisung's hair. "Let's give him a bit of time to come back to us. On his own, without fearing anything. Okay?"
  
   Changbin couldn't help but to smile when Jisung immediately nodded, agreeing without a protest. & Once again he realized, the fears were really for nothing. Maybe, they all would be together very soon.
  
  

******

  
  
   Hyunjin shifted on his legs as he stood outside his previous dorm room, contemplating if he should knock the door or not. It was almost around 11 at night, so Jeongin should be back by now. He saw a few texts from Felix & Minho earlier when Changbin had dropped him off. Apparently, they found out that he was back, & they were looking for him. As much as he wanted to hide away in some other cities at the moment, he didn't want to make his soulmates worry anymore. Especially their youngest. He didn't know what was waiting for him, fear was still running in his mind like crazy, but Minho, Felix & today Changbin, they all had assured him that it was okay. Others wouldn't be mad at him, nor would they do anything to corner him.
  
   So, with one last pep talk, he knocked on the door hesitantly & waited for the other to open it. He knocked again, a bit louder this time, when the younger didn't open the door for the first time. But this time too, Jeongin didn't open it.
  
   Was he not back yet?
  
   Hyunjin frowned slightly at the thought.
  
   Maybe he was with the others? Yeah, where else he would be?
  
   Sighing slightly, Hyunjin turned on his heel, walking down the corridor toward the elevator. Maybe he should just go back to his dorm for the night, & sleep it off. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, for sure, he would talk to them.
  
  
  

******

  
  
   It was around 1 of the night, & Chan was still hiding inside his small studio on the fifth floor of the university. One of the guards had already asked him to pack up & leave for the night, but Chan really didn't know if he wanted to go home today. Felix wasn't home, he was at Minho's place along with Jeongin. Minho & Felix had called him earlier asking him to go there, but for some reason Chan didn't feel like it. Or more like, he just wanted to stay the night alone, anywhere away from his home & soulmates; specially Minho & Felix right now.
  
   They were hiding something. Chan knew it. But, he didn't try to pry. He was never the one to pry things out of people. He let them be, & waited for them to explain themselves. & He could swear that he wasn't mad at them. They all were just stressed recently. Their mid was approaching, & Hyunjin had gone missing just when they found out about him & Seungmin, who still was struggling to accept them, being their soulmates. Then suddenly Felix & Minho started hiding things from them to the point that they had to ditch others often.
  
   Chan was patient. He really was okay with waiting. But, for some reason he felt like whatever Minlix duo was hiding was something that they all should be aware of, something that was most probably related to their missing soulmate. & This afternoon they found out that someone had seen Hyunjin with one of them. All six of them were there, so it had to be Changbin. & He was hiding the fact that Hyunjin had returned. He didn't even pick up any of their calls. & It really didn't miss his eyes how calm & unsurprised Minho & Felix looked when Seungmin informed them about Hyunjin. It almost looked forced when they were trying to look surprised & rushed to find the artist. He also didn't miss the sneaky glances & texts that they were sending each other, because none of their texts came in the group chat.
  
   Was that because they were talking about Hyunjin? & Maybe Changbin? Did they know where the other two were? Did they know from the beginning & was hiding this from all of them?
  
   Why?
  
   Chan didn't know. Did they think that everyone would get mad at Hyunjin? Couldn't they trust him? Didn't Felix know & trust him enough? Was he not reliable?
  
   It made his stomach churn knowing that there was a possibility that he wasn't trustable & reliable enough for his soulmates. He knew he was the oldest between eight of them, & he was most probably being childish right now. But he couldn't help but feel his heart ache, he couldn't help but to feel disappointed at himself for not being enough. & He knew if he faced his soulmates right now, he might have a breakdown. & The last thing he wanted to be was an emotional burden to the others.
  
   Chan felt restless. The voices inside his head were increasing day by day, but he had managed to push them back until now. But, now when he was feeling vulnerable they decided to return again. The empty hallway of the university looked like a dessert to him at the moment, & he felt alone, also scared. His fingers tightened around the straps of his bag as he sped up his legs. He didn't want to stay here any longer.
  
   He was almost out of breath when he stepped out of the university.
  
  
   They don't want you.
   They don't trust you.
   You're just another emotional baggage for them.
  
  
   Chan shook his head violently to get rid of the voices in his head. But they only grew louder with every passing second. His eyes were burning with unshed tears as he stumbled down on the empty road, finding it hard to breathe. He had been missing his medication for a long time, & now it was biting him back. The rational part of his mind was surprisingly still working, asking him to call the others. Any would do. He knew he needed help, otherwise this was gonna end up badly for him. But he couldn't breathe, nor could he move his limbs to support himself. & He didn't even hear the familiar soft voice yelling out his name out of panic.
  
   He was struggling to breath one moment, & the next moment he was pulled in a warm embrace. A familiar soft rosy fragrance filled his nostrils, urging him to take a deep breath. & Finally he could breathe again. The burns in his lungs were suddenly gone, replaced with a whip of fresh air with a soft rosey smell. There was a hand patting his head, fingers often digging inside his dark brown hair, while another hand was wrapped around his middle, holding him close & still to a lean body. A voice was whispering against his ear as he felt himself melting against the warm body of the lean body. It felt so right to be there. It felt so peaceful. It felt like home.
  
   "....'re fine, hyung. I'm here now. You're okay."
  
   Chan closed his eyes automatically in relief when he finally registered the voice in his mind. Tears of relief managed to escape through his closed eyes as he wrapped his shaking arms around the other's small waist tightly after finally finding his strength back.
  
  

&

  
  
   Chan was lying down on Hyunjin's single bed, facing the younger boy who had drifted off to sleep a while ago. The boy had found him on the streets, just on the opposite side of the boy's dorm a few hours ago while he was going through a mental breakdown. Later, the boy brought him to the former's dorm, refusing to leave him alone. Not that Chan wanted to be left alone. He pretty much followed the boy in a daze, their hands clasped tight. Hyunjin had run him a bath, made him eat dinner & forced him on the younger's bed saying Chan was looking like a zombie, he needed to rest. & Chan really blushed at that and earned a fit of adorable giggles from the younger boy. The bed was small for them, but they somehow managed to get in there with one having a muscled body while the other having a lean lithe body. They fit perfectly together.
  
   They didn't talk much. Hyunjin kept carding his finger through Chan's messy brown locks while Chan relished the feeling with his eyes closed, one corner of his lips slightly upward in a satisfied smile. He felt protected & loved, something he didn't know he'd feel with Hyunjin so soon. If anything, he was supposed to be the one who'd protect the younger boy. Even when he didn't know about the young dancer being his soulmate, there was always this feeling inside of him, an indescribable urge to protect the younger. Maybe it was because he was older, & he saw the younger boy sad most of the time. It always made him want to be a shield for Hyunjin. But today, he couldn't help but to feel proud, & a tad bit embarrassed but obviously in a good way, now that Hyunjin was the one protecting him, acting like the older one between the two of them. & He knew they had a lot to talk about what had been going on, but he also knew that the younger must have had his reasons & own share of fears to share with them. He also knew he'd have to listen to Changbin, Felix & Minho before he would again think about negative stuff. Because this was what they needed.
  
   Communication.
  
  
   "...hyung? You haven't slept yet?"
  
   Chan's heart melted as he watched the sleepy boy trying to blink his eyes open adorably. There was a permanent cute pout settled on the younger boy's plump lips, a small cute frown on his forehead as the boy registered that Chan hadn't slept yet.
  
   "I'll sleep soon. You go back to sleep, baby."
  
   The term slipped out of his mouth even before he could register himself. His breathing stopped for a moment as he waited for Hyunjin to freak out or maybe yell at him. But, the younger boy did nothing like that. The pout on his lips got bigger as he shuffled closer, eyes blinking heavily as he stared at the older boy; such an endearing sight for Chan.
  
   "Are you still feeling down?" Hyunjin's voice was small, sleepy. "Do you want to talk about it?" He blinked at Chan, worry evident in his face. Chan's heart started to beat faster all of a sudden. His lips automatically stretched into a fond smile as his hand found its way to the younger's long black hair.
  
   "Maybe when we wake up?" Chan suggested hopefully. His fingers were now tangled in the silky soft locks of the younger, pads slowly massaging the skin. Hyunjin stared at him in silence for a few seconds before nodding slowly.
  
   "I've so many things to tell you guys..."
  
   Hyunjin mumbled as he shuffled closer to the older boy, face almost hiding in the latter's chest. Hyunjin was already going back to sleep. The smile on Chan's lips only widened as he rested his hand on the small of the younger's back, head dipping down slightly to press a small kiss against Hyunjin's crown. He didn't move away after that, Hyunjin's rosy fragrance was addictive, besides he loved the way Hyunjin snuggled against him. He didn't know what the tomorrow would bring them, maybe the next time he'd get to hold this boy close to him wouldn't come soon, coz he knew the others were waiting for a chance like this too. So, he decided to relish the moment as much as he could now.
  
   & When the morning would come, he'd make sure to tell Hyunjin how much he loved & appreciated having Hyunjin beside him. He'd make sure to listen to all the worries & fears of the younger boy, & assure him that Chan would do anything to keep him safe & away from them. He needed Hyunjin to know that his hyung would always be with him, no matter what.
  
   Chapter End Notes
   Updating the chapter today as I'll be busy again since I've a wedding to attend in a few days!!! The last chapter isn't done yet, so it might take a week more as I'll be busy ьэ
   So, enjoy this one for now! & Let me know your thoughts!!!
  

Forever (or not)

   Chapter Summary
   Hyunjin is braver than before, but Jeongin is still a kid who's scared & in love.
   While Seungmin finds out he & Jisung are almost in a similar situation, just Jisung has it worst.
   Chapter Notes
   Finally! The second last chapter!
   To those who are confused right now, I actually tweeted a few days ago about this update.
   1. I just moved to my new place, so it was a mess & couldn't update sooner ьч I'm sorry for that ьч
   2. I did plan to end the story in 6 part, but somehow the last chapter got bigger than I planned. So i decided to post the last chapter in two parts. So, I'll be ending the fic next week ьщьъ
   For now, enjoy this chapter ьщьъ
   "Why are you two looking at me like that?"
  
   Jeongin finally put his chopsticks down & decided to give his whole attention to his hyungs. He had enough. These two, Felix & Minho, had been tiptoeing around him since this evening for some reason. At first he didn't think much of it, but then they brought him here & cooked all his favourites. Which was totally sus. & If they thought that Jeongin didn't notice their subtle nervous glances at him throughout the whole evening, then they were wrong.
  
   Did they do something or what?
  
   & The way they straightened up their backs as soon as he asked the question, just confirmed his suspicion. They definitely did something. But what?
  
   "What did you two do?" Jeongin deadpanned, million thoughts crossing his mind, trying to find anything that they could do & make him upset. But nothing came to his mind. From the few months of him getting to know them, these hyung of his did nothing but things that made him feel comfortable, appreciated & loved. Then what could've they done today? It had to be something big for Minho to act like this along with Felix.
  
   A nervous smile tugged Felix's lips wider, but his eyes couldn't hide it. On the other hand, Minho went blank. Like literally. He had his infamous blank look on which meant he was about to talk about something serious. & It was usually Jisung who'd often be the subject of Minho's blank look.
  
   "We need to talk." Minho spoke up, making Felix steal a glance at him, before looking back at Jeongin again. He looked more anxious as he nodded along with Minho's words.
  
   "Well, I figured that out alrea-"
  
   Minho didn't let him finish.
  
   "About Hyunjin..."
  
   Jeongin stared at Minho for a few seconds before looking at Felix. The sunshine's smile wasn't that bright anymore. He didn't know what was going on, but if whatever the situation had made his hyungs act like this then the talk should be important; besides it's about Hyunjin.
  
   He leaned forward, brows furrowed slightly in concern. "What is it? Did you manage to get hold of Binnie hyung?"
  
   "About that...." Felix gulped, the smile on his lips looked weird now. He stole another glance at the oldest of the three before looking back at their youngest. Jeongin raised an eyebrow in question, head slightly tilted to the side. Felix took a deep breath & decided to dump everything on the younger in a single breath.
  
   "HyunjinwaswithBinniehyungbuthehadbeenstayingwithusforafewdaysnowandwecouldn'ttellyouguysandwe'rereallysorryforthat!"
  
   Felix said it in a single breath & immediately started panting as soon as he was done. Jeongin was still staring at the Australian, blinking hard as he tried to understand what he just heard, while Minho facepalmed as he shook his head.
  
   "... Hyung? Can you say that again? But slowly please?" Felix looked like he was gonna cry when he heard Jeongin, & looked aside toward Minho who could only sigh. He wasn't really good at saying no to Felix. He gave Felix a small "you owe me one" look, before looking back at the maknae, who looked very impatient by now.
  
   "So...." Minho cursed himself in his mind when his voice came out squeaky, & coughed to change it back to its usual tone. "What Lix is saying is..." Minho paused, trying to find a good way to explain the matter, but then Jeongin raised an eyebrow at him & he decided to go with whatever was in his mind.
  
   "Hyunjin has been with Changbin since this morning....."
  
   Jeongin visibly relaxed after hearing that. He finally felt better knowing Hyunjin was in safe hands. But soon the feeling turned a bit bitter when he heard Minho's next words.
  
   "But he actually came back earlier as Seungmin mentioned & was living here... with me."
  
   This time Jeongin's face turned blank as he tried to process everything. He glanced at Felix who was looking back nervously. Did he know about this too? Wait- was this why they had been ditching everyone for the last few days? Because they had Hyunjin?
  
   "& You guys didn't think it was necessary to let us know?" Jeongin's words came out harsher than he wanted them to be. But he couldn't care about that now. "We had been worried sick about him. Spending hours in front of his door just to see if he came back! If he was okay!" Jeongin's voice was rising slowly. "Even Seungmin Hyung came everyday to check if he's back & you're saying this now? That he came back earlier?! How could you hide this from us?!"
  
   Jeongin didn't miss the way guilt flashed in his hyungs dark orbs. He knew he was being harsh, but he had the right to be. He spent hours hiding in Hyunjin's studio at night for the past few days, going through the same sketchbook of the older one every night, admiring every stroke of charcoal on the heavy paper. He spent hours reading their old conversations, smiling at the Hyunjin's worried text from before when he'd be late coming back to the dorm. He tried to find peace in chan, jisung & Changbin's studio. He tried to feel better by spending his free time with Minho, Felix & Jisung. He also tried to bond with Seungmin over text, but it was awkward from both ends. He tried to focus on his studies, but only got reminded of the times when Hyunjin would ask him to take a break & prepare snacks for him during exams. Call him biased, but he could barely care about that. He did like Hyunjin a tad bit more than the rest. Maybe it was because they were living together, maybe because he felt his heart going crazy just at the first sight of the older one even though he had no idea who Hyunjin was. He could only guess, because he didn't know himself. But one thing he knew for sure was that the feelings inside his chest for the said artist couldn't be branded as "liking" anymore. It was more than that. & He knew Minho & Felix should know that. They were the ones who liked Hyunjin without knowing they were all soulmates. They should feel the same. They should know how Jeongin would feel. But they still didn't say anything to any of them.
  
   Jeongin felt tears of frustration & hurt building up in his eyes as he bit his lip from lashing out more. He was relieved, but hurt. Why would they keep Hyunjin to themselves?
  
   Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around him from his back. It was Felix. He tried to shake away, but Felix only held him tighter, apologizing in a wavering voice again & again. Jeongin couldn't stop himself anymore. Tears started to fall from his eyes as he held Felix's hand tighter.
  

   Minho's face softened as he watched the scene in front of him. One of his soulmates was crying & the other was on the verge of tears. He knew that hiding about Hyunjin's matter would lead them to something like this. He knew from the beginning. But still he didn't say anything to a single soul. Because he was scared to do any more mental damage to Hyunjin, who was very much scared of them, of their reaction. & Minho did blame himself for that to an extent. But this wasn't just about him & Hyunjin anymore. They all were in this together. & Even though he knew he did the right thing by not pushing to meet the others right away, he also knew he & Felix did manage to hurt the others. & They needed to take responsibility for that.
  


   "I'm sorry Innie..."
  
   Jeongin's looked up at Minho through his lashes, & felt his anger going down immediately. He never saw Minho like this. Full of regret. He shook his head. Now that he was slowly calming down, he could finally think straight. He knew these hyungs of his weren't selfish, nor they would deliberately try to hurt any of them. It wasn't possible. Felix was a literal sunshine, while Minho looked tough even though he was a soft hearted person. They'd never do anything to hurt him. Of course they had their own reason to do whatever they did. So, he shook his head, not wanting Minho & Felix to apologize.
  
   "No Innie... we really are sorry..." Felix held him tighter, "we didn't want to hurt you, or Jisung, Seungmin & Chan hyung."
  
   "We really did want to tell you guys... but, we also wanted to give Hyunjin some time."
  
   Jeongin nodded his head as he realized what Minho was trying to say. Hyunjin did need time, otherwise he wouldn't have fled in the first place.
  
   "I know we could've handled it better. But we really couldn't think much when he..." Minho paused & let out a deep sigh. Jeongin felt worried.
  
   When he...what?
  
   "He got a bad panic attack when he saw us in the dance class." Felix continued where Minho left from. Jeongin's eyes got bigger with the information. He immediately looked upward at Felix, then to Minho who nodded in confirmation.
  
   "He couldn't even talk to us properly, he couldn't even say anything to us." Felix's voice once again started wavering, remembering the time when he hugged the artist to calm him down only to make the latter struggle more. "Even the next day... he couldn't hold a simple talk without crying...he kept apologizing... to me... to Minho hyung... to all of us..."
  
   Jeongin felt his heart ache. He didn't like this. He didn't like Hyunjin crying, nor did he like his other hyungs feeling hurt.
  
   "But he's better now..." Jeongin's eyes fell on Minho, who had a small smile on his lips now. One that could tell that Minho was relieved.
  
   "He's getting better. & This is why today we sent Changbin to his studio, knowing he'd feel less scared if it was Changbin who found him first."
  
   Jeongin lips parted in surprise. He really didn't expect this. Wasn't Changbin the only one Hyunjin didn't know at all? But then again, it was Changbin who they were talking about. The soft, kind hearted Changbin, who was able to make one feel comfortable just like Chan. Chan was like their safe place, & Changbin was almost the same. No wonder Hyunjin shared his insecurities with Changbin at their first meeting, & no wonder that Felix & Minho thought Changbin was the better candidate to find Hyunjin first. Hyunjin needed to feel comfortable, & assured. & Changbin was the right person to do it. Now that he thought of it, he was sure as hell that if any of them, between him, Jisung & Seungmin, had found Hyunjin first, they'd have made a scene. He was sure he'd have been crying, same goes for Jisung too. & Seungmin? He had this weird feeling that Seungmin would go too strongly on Hyunjin if he had found the other first. & The latter wouldn't be able to take that. That also reminded him about another important fact.
  
   Hyunjin still didn't know that Seungmin was one of them. Seungmin hid it from the older boy.
  
   "Uh... hyungs?" Jeongin immediately got his hyungs attention, & felt his cheek redden slightly. He still wasn't used to all the attention & love his soulmates showered over him. But he could think about it later.
  
   "Who's gonna tell Hyunjin hyung about Seungmin hyung?"
  
   Just like that another worry settled in their mind.
  


******

  


   Hyunjin felt warm. Too warm for a winter night. Not like he minded. In fact he nuzzled closer to the source thinking it was just his pillow. But then again, a pillow wasn't supposed to be this hard, or was it? Frowning slightly in his sleep he leaned back a little, & finally opened his eyes to see what was wrong with his pillow. Even though it was already morning it was still a bit dark inside his room, but the daylight that soaked through the curtain was still enough for him to notice that it wasn't really a pillow that he was holding onto. Instead, it was a sturdy chest, which was half exposed thanks (or not) to the two buttons that were for some reason unbuttoned. Panic immediately settled inside Hyunjin's mind, digging up the unpleasant memories from his hometown. He started to breathe heavily when he realized that there was an arm around his waist, holding him down in his place. He froze in fear. He didn't dare to look up to see who it was. He closed his eyes tight, praying it would turn out as just a dream. But, he forgot that sometimes dreams could be better than reality.
  
   "Hyunnie?"
  
   Hyunjin's eyes snapped open at the familiar voice & immediately darted up only to meet with a sleepy concerned pair, which belonged none other than Bang Chan. Relief washed over his whole body as he realized it was just his soulmate, but still the traitorous tears slipped out from his eyes, waking up Chan completely.
  
   "Hyunjin?! Hey what happened?!"
  
   Hyunjin couldn't say. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know if he'd ever be able to tell his soulmates about that incident. He bit his lips hard & hid his face on the older's chest, not wanting to let Chan see him like this.
  
   But Chan had already seen him. His arms circled around the younger boy's small waist protectively, pulling him closer before resting his head on top of Hyunjin's. Even though Hyunjin was taller than him, it worked out fine for them somehow. Hyunjin was curled against him, shaking & crying, while Chan could only mutter comforting & protective words in his ears, hoping to calm him down. It was like the role had reversed from last night. Hyunjin had taken care of Chan last night, & just a night after it was Chan who was taking care of Hyunjin. None of them knew the reason behind their tears & fears, but still held each other tightly. What was it? Chan didn't know? For him, he wanted to protect the boy in his arms, give him the world that he deserved. Was it the same for Hyunjin too?
  


   "Baby? C'mon... Look at hyung? Please?"
  
   Chan coaxed the younger male in his arms to look up after sometime when the latter had finally stopped crying, but was still sniffing quietly. Hyunjin shook his head at first, not wanting to let Chan see him. But then the older boy whispered a plea, tugging a string to his heart, making Hyunjin finally come out from his hiding place. Chan's eyes were tracing his face with worries as he gently wiped the tear stains from Hyunjin's face. His touch was so gentle, almost treating Hyunjin like he was gonna break if the older one wasn't careful enough. His eyes were calm, a soft gaze almost melting Hyunjin into a puddle as he asked Hyunjin if he was okay. Hyunjin wasn't really, but with Chan holding him so protectively he felt less scared, less insecure. So he nodded slightly in affirmation. Chan cupped the side of his face, caressing his cheek gently as a soft smile tugged on the corner of his lips.
  
   "You know I'll always be here, right?"
  
   Chan whispered, but Hyunjin felt the words hitting his eardrum loud & clear. He could feel his heart growing bigger as he realized Chan didn't ask him for permission, in any way, Chan would always be there for him.
  
   He nodded & Chan's smile widened slightly. "We don't have to talk right away. We can talk anyday anytime you want to... We have all the time in the world now, don't we?"
  
   Hyunjin felt a rush of joy inside his chest, filling his whole body in an unexplainable tingle. He wanted to cry again, he wanted to smile at the same time. He didn't know how Chan was able to make him feel like this. Of course, they have all the time in the world now that they accepted each other in their life. He wondered if this was what he could have had, what he could have felt all this time if he had told them earlier. Maybe. Maybe he still wasn't late. He still could fix everything, finally letting them in. Taking his time to know them, letting them know him. A baby steps each time, holding their hands. No rush. Because they had all the time in the world.
  
   "Hyung?"
  
   "What is it baby?" Chan called him baby again as if it was normal for him to call Hyunjin that. But, Hyunjin on the other hand, flushed at the nickname which was vivid enough for Chan to take notice of it. A cute giggle slipped past Chan's lips & soon stretched into a wide grin, making Hyunjin look at him in awe. Chan's smile was beautiful, just like his heart. Hyunjin didn't know what he had done in his past life to have someone like Chan in his life, but he was grateful for having him, having all of them.
  
   "Can you help me with something?" Hyunjin asked, a sudden excitement started to bloom inside his chest. Chan stared at him lovingly, a hand still cupping his face.
  
   "Anything for my princess." Chan smiled, & Hyunjin blushed again at the newest nickname. But this time he didn't hide his face, he let his lips stretch into a big smile, eyes crinkle prettily as the reddish hue spread all over his face. He let Chan see him happy.
  


******

  

   Jeongin groaned loudly at the sound of his phone going off from somewhere around him. He was currently sandwiched between Minho & Felix, who were sleeping like logs in the loud ringtone blasting from his phone in the room. Minho slightly groaned at the disturbance when Jeongin tried to sit up to look for his fucking phone which finally stopped ringing, only to start again just a few seconds later. He watched Minho furrowed his eyebrows in irritation at the sound before he begrudgingly peeled them open to glare at the five inches device sitting on the bedside table. Jeongin winced as Minho grabbed the phone from the table in an irritated manner & dropped on his lap.
  
   "Shut it up" that's all Minho said before going back to sleep. The first thing Jeongin did was to press the lock button making it silent & then he looked at the culprit who had interrupted his beauty sleep.
  
   Channie Hyung ьэ
  
   He sat up straight immediately & received the call with a big smile on his face.
  
   "Hyung?"
  
   "G'morning Innie. Did I just wake you up?"
  
   Chan was happy for some reason, & Jeongin could tell it just by hearing his voice. His voice sounded cheerful & relaxed unlike the past few days. Jeongin was glad to see the change. Just the last night, Felix had been moping around because he had this feeling that Chan was upset with them, him & Minho. They had a feeling that the oldest one knew about their lies. & Jeongin had noticed it too, the way Chan's smile seemed weak ever since Hyunjin went missing. It weakened more as the Minlix duo started ditching them. But still he hadn't seen the older one complain about it. Whatever he felt, he kept it to himself. & That was a bad thing for the boy. So, Jeongin thanked anything & everything that made his Chan hyung happy again.
  
   "Yeah... but the other two are still sleeping through the loud noise from my phone. Like Koalas." Jeongin snorted slightly as he stole a quick glance over Minho, just to be sure that he was safe. "I'm stuck between them."
  
   Chan laughed from the other end, freely. "Well, I was actually hoping you could join me for breakfast. Only if you don't plan to stay sandwiched between Lix & Minho." Chan laughed again, making Jeongin let out an amused chuckle.
  
   "Nope, not going back to get sandwiched again. So, where do I come?" Jeongin asked as he distangled Felix's arms from his waist & carefully tried to get out from the bed. But it was hard. The bed was too small for three of them, & they practically had to be glued with each other to make sure neither Felix or Minho fell down from it in the middle of the night. It was their luck that it's winter & they didn't have to worry about feeling hot, otherwise he'd have kicked those two hyungs out of Minho's bed using his maknae card.
  
   "Actually, I'm close to Minho's place... might take me 5 to 10minutes max. You might want to hurry up." Chan chuckled softly, making Jeongin roll his eyes, but eventually break into a tiny smile. They dropped the call after that & Jeongin finally managed to get out of the bed without waking the koala duo. He rushed to the washroom to freshen up, but soon found himself smiling big when he noticed that Minho added two more toothbrushes in the mug. Now it contained eight brushes in total, even though he was sure that Minho knew that Seungmin & Changbin staying overnight here wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. But Minho still got two new brushes for them. It just proves how accepting & considerate Minho was, even though the older acted like a tsundere most of the time. He quickly shook his head when he realized he was getting late & Chan was most probably waiting for him outside the building already. He washed his face, grabbed a hoodie from Minho's closet & slung his bag over his shoulder before leaving the apartment. But not without a yellow sticky note plastered on the bedside table.
  
   "Out on a date, loser hyungs!"
  

&

  

   "So.. what made you call me so early in the morning?" Jeongin stole a glance at the older boy, who was looking ahead, smiling as they walked hand in hand in a busy street of Seoul.
  
   "I was just missing our youngest this morning, which is...you! So, here I am, taking you out on a breakfast date!" Chan giggled cutely, while Jeongin reddened slightly at the mention of date. Well, he knew it was kind of a date, but hearing it from their oldest one was making him shy all of a sudden.
  
   "Wow" Jeongin snapped his head toward Chan, who was looking at him surprised. His cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red. "You literally turned into a tomato!" Chan's voice was loud & Jeongin wanted to go off on the elder for making fun of him, but he didn't when he realized that Chan wasn't really making fun of him. He looked amazed for some reason, & it only made Jeongin feel more shy about the situation. He hurriedly pulled up the hood of the hoodie over his head with his free hand, hiding his face from the older boy who let out an amused giggle at the action. & Jeongin could swear his heart was gonna leap out through his chest if this continued. How the fuck the oldest one had the cutest laugh among all of them?!
  



   Chan took him to a nearby cafe, which opened a while ago during the semester vacation. Changbin, Minho & Felix had already visited this one, & sent a whole list of dishes which they liked here. Apparently, it was famous for its desserts. But other items were good too. Minho had once suggested their blueberry pancake, so both of them decided to get that for their breakfast. The environment was cozy & warm for them to settle in quickly. Besides, being with Chan always gave a sensation of warmth & comfort, almost like home.
  
   As he was busy clicking photos of the pancakes, he got a notification that Chan had texted in the group. Surprised, he stole a glance at the other, who was still typing away in his phone. Most probably texting in the group again. But before Jeongin could open the notification Chan called him, making him stop chewing the pancake immediately. He stared at the other cluelessly, making the older let out an amused chuckle at his expression.
  
   "Actually, there's another reason I came looking for you this morning..." The older one placed his phone back on the table before looking back at Jeongin.
  
   Jeongin stayed silent for a few seconds before something came to his mind. "Is it about Hyunjin hyung?" Jeongin asked even though he knew it already.
  
   Chan nodded. Jeongin didn't know what to do at this moment. He had talked about Hyunjin last night with Felix & Minho. He found out a lot of things, so he also knew that Chan already doubted those two on this matter. So, he didn't know what to do or say if Chan brought that up now. It should be Minho & Felix who needed to come clean on their o-
  
   "I was with Hyunjin last night."
  
   & This time Jeongin almost choked on the half chewed pancake. What the hell was going on?!
  
   Chan seemed to understand his dilemma & started explaining on his own. Jeongin sat on the opposite side & listened to everything in a daze. But what he didn't know was that Chan hid about his & Hyunjin's panic attacks. Chan gave him a polished story, making sure he wouldn't worry about them. & By the time Chan was done, he had this gentle smile on his lips. Something that showed Jeongin that Chan was happy, because of Hyunjin. & Jeongin found himself smiling too.
  
   "What I realized from last night is that we really need to be patient with him, which I know some of us are bad at." Chan spared a look at him.
  
   Jeongin visibly cringed because he, himself, knew that he was one of them. Before he had the talk with the cat boys last night, he really had a plan to jump on Hyunjin as soon as he saw him. But now he knew that it'd only make Hyunjin uncomfortable, if not scared. But, Jeongin himself was scared too. He knew Hyunjin was trying to let them in, but what if he wouldn't let Jeongin in? He remembered the last time he talked with the artist. Hyunjin's voice sounded so cold & harsh that time, it scared him pretty good. He knew the older boy was most probably going through something, but still couldn't help but to let his negative thoughts grow.
  
   "Hyung..." Jeongin started, eyes down on his half finished pancakes. "What if...." Jeongin felt his lips & throat go dry just at the thought. He licked his lips unconsciously, wetting it, thinking it'd help him talk. "What if Hyunjin hyung... doesn't want me?" There, he said it.
  
   "...Innie... You know there isn't any possibility of something like that happening. Among all of us, you & Seungmin were the only ones who were close to him. He knew about you, & yet treated you right, didn't he?" Chan was right. Hyunjin did treat him differently than the others. But then why would he shake off Jeongin's arm last time, why would he look at Jeongin with cold eyes, talk like they were nothing but strangers?!
  
   Once again his negativity overpowered his rational voice.
  
   "But he... He didn't seem to like me last ti-"
  
   "Then please tell me Jeongin. What was Hyunjin doing in front of your dorm, knocking on your door last night?"
  
   Jeongin eyes snapped up at Chan in disbelief. Hyunjin actually came looking for Jeongin, on his own?!
  
   "I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but seeing how you're worrying about something that has zero percent chance to happen I can't just keep it from you."
  
   Jeongin sat frozen, mind was a mess. Because all this time he had been letting this groundless fear of his grow from a sprout to a big tree, he kept thinking Hyunjin wouldn't want him like the others. But how wrong he was. Hyunjin proved him wrong.
  
   "I think you better go back to your dorm now. & Take a bit of time for... yourself." Jeongin suddenly felt bad. Did he just ruin the date? But Chan had this warm smile on his face, something assured him immediately that Jeongin hadn't messed up, or even if he did, Chan barely cared about that as long as they were together.
  
   "Hyung, I-"
  
   "He's waiting, Jeongin."
  
   Jeongin felt his breath stop.
  
   Who?
  
   "He has been waiting for you since early morning in your dorm"
  
   He came back?!
  
   "So, I think you should go back now..." Chan grinned at him & Jeongin found himself rushing up from the chair, almost knocking over his coffee that went cold already. He was ready to leave, so the coffee could go dump itself in the sink.
  
   But then Chan stopped him again & handed him the coffee he ordered a while ago to go.
  
   "Give him this." Chan smiled at him while Jeongin stood there like an idiot. "I promised him one."
  
   "You aren't coming with me?" Jeongin asked, still confused.
  
   "Nope. I'll be going back to Minho's place & waking those koalas up now."
  
   Oh. Of course. They needed to talk too.
  
   Jeongin nodded, understanding Chan's reason before thanking him, for exactly what he didn't know. There were many reasons. So, Jeongin decided not to think much over it & rushed out from the cafe with a large grin.
  
   After all, Hyunjin was waiting for him.
  

&

  

   Chan stared at their youngest through the transparent glass wall of the cafe. The boy was running for life, & Chan could only worry about the coffee's life that he sent for the princess.
  
   His princess.
  
   The smile on his face automatically widened as the view of Hyunjin's flushed face, embarrassed pout flashed in his eyes again. Then in the next second, he found himself flushing slightly at the memory now that he realized how bold he was acting, which was quite unlike himself. He had been the closest with Felix more than the others, so it was quite normal for him to call the other Australian boy sweet pet names. But he never really tried that with the others. He was still shy about that matter or letting others see through him. But for some reason these pet names, all this closeness came to him way too naturally when it was Hyunjin. It was weird, but endearing how Hyunjin was able to wake that bold side of him without even doing anything. He wondered if Hyunjin had this effect on the others too.
  
   Speaking of the others, Chan remembered the next thing he needed to do. He ordered two breakfasts & two coffees to go. He had some sleeping hungry koalas to deal with love & warm breakfast.
  

&

  

   Jeongin was heaving outside the door to his room with hands on his knees. He was getting some looks from the others in the hallway, but could barely care about that when he could clearly hear a familiar voice coming from his room.
  
   It was Hyunjin. & He was talking with someone.
  
   Jeongin once again felt the urge to barge inside the room & throw himself over the artist. But then he remembered what Chan, Minho & Felix told him.
  
   Hyunjin is scared. He needs time. We really need to be patient with him.
  
   So, Jeongin forced his mind to obey his hyungs. If he needed to be careful to keep Hyunjin to himself, then he would do that. He could obviously restrain himse-
  
   "I'm really fine, hyung!"
  
   Jeongin got startled at the sudden loud whine coming from the artist from the other side of the door. He carefully took a step closer, hoping to hear better. He didn't know why he was doing idiotic things like this, but it was better than to suddenly face Hyunjin, right?
  
   Well, sue him. Because he was still scared. Maybe not as much as before, but it was still there.
  
   "It's been a few weeks since I last talked to him. & That didn't go well either."
  
   Hyunjin was talking about him?
  
   "I don't want him to think that I don't like him. I know how bad this one feels. All negative thoughts... & I don't want him to experience it any further..."
  
   Jeongin felt his eyes tearing up just by listening to the older one. He felt relief washing over him, as if a heavy weight was lifted off from his chest. Hyunjin was right. This negativity was like a cactus, hurt you whatever the way one tried to touch it. It can make people suffer with insecurities, playing a faux scenario inside their head again & again until they can't take it anymore. Until they started believing it. Just like Jeongin did for the past few weeks. Just like Hyunjin did, who knew for how long. & It brought another heavy weight over Jeongin's chest.
  
   If Jeongin felt like a shit just in a few weeks then how bad was Hyunjin's condition?
  
   Jeongin didn't know. But what he knew was he'd do everything to make everything right for Hyunjin from now on. & For that, the first step would be facing the last missing piece of the puzzle.
  

   Hyunjin had stopped talking while Jeongin was drowning into his own thoughts. The younger one only noticed it when he decided to open the door. With a sharp intake of a large amount of air he puffed his chest up, forcing all the courage he had hiding somewhere in his body together & opened the door carefully. He walked carefully inside the room only to find it empty.
  
   Huh? Did I hear it wrong or what?
  
   But that couldn't be. Because the empty left side of the room was once again occupied with familiar things of Hyunjin. He wasn't hallucinating anything. Hyunjin was really here, & most probably in the washroom because he couldn't just vanish in thin air now, could he? The younger boy carefully closed the door behind him before walking further inside the room. There wasn't really much space to walk around, just like the time when he just had moved here. But still he liked it better. Until he came here, he always liked to have a bit of his own space, a room for himself only to spend some quality time alone. But living with Hyunjin changed that. When Hyunjin moved to a different dorm, Jeongin found his room empty & cold, & it made him sad rather than making him happy to be finally alone. He kept thinking about Hyunjin whenever he was here, he couldn't even focus on his studies because of the memories. So, he started to spend his nights at his other soulmates places where everyone welcomed him with open arms. & He realized he loved being with them. He didn't want to live alone again. Which was why he didn't protest when last night Minho & Felix asked him to stay the night with them. But, now when Hyunjin was finally back he didn't know how he was gonna balance everything. It was surely going to be tough for him.
  
   "Jeongin? When did you come back?!"
  
   The reaction was automatic & immediate. He whipped back his head toward the source of the voice & felt everything going silent around him. Hyunjin was standing only a few feet away from him in an oversized hoodie that suspiciously looked like Minho's & a pair of jeans that hugged his legs beautifully. Beads of water falling down from his long black hair, indicating the older had taken a quick shower just now. His skin was looking paler than usual, most probably due to the shower, lips in a pretty shade of pink, the natural one at its best.
  
   "Jeongin? You okay?"
  
   Jeongin finally locked his eyes with the older one's brown ones. There was a hint of worry in those almond eyes, eyebrows furrowed slightly to prove his thoughts. & No, Jeongin wasn't okay, but that was good. Because he was never okay with Hyunjin looking so utterly confused, yet beautiful in front of him.
  
   "You came back..."
  
   It came out breathy & as if he couldn't believe his own eyes, which was totally absurd because he knew from the beginning. Still it hit him hard, seeing Hyunjin standing right in front of him inside their own room. Maybe Jeongin was being dramatic, maybe he was being overly emotional, but he had the right to be when it was about Hyunjin.
  
   He watched as Hyunjin's concerned look melted into a surprised one with a tad bit of nervousness playing in those dark eyes of his. He took a step forward, & Jeongin wanted to take two steps forward. But he couldn't. He stood rooted down to his place, & watched the older slowly coming his way. & When Hyunjin stopped a few steps away from him the younger finally blinked, not understanding why the older stopped. & Then Hyunjin smiled.
  
   "I guess I am." Hyunjin replied.
  
   "And?" Jeongin asked in a tiny voice as his heart beat slowly increased. He needed to know. He needed to be sure. He needed to hear it from Hyunjin. But the other seemed to be confused about his question.
  
   "...and?" Confused, the older tilted his head to the side, looking adorable with that small pout on his lips.
  
   Jeongin visibly gulped. "Are you gonna leave again?" There. He asked. He watched Hyunjin's eyes widen slightly as the older finally understood Jeongin's worry. He watched as the older boy's eyes slowly filled with guilt & immediately hated it. He didn't plan to guilt trip the older like this, but shit happened & he spoke up before he could realize what he was saying. He should apologize. He shouldn't be making Hyunjin fe-
  
   "I'm... not." Jeongin felt his breath hitch at the reply he got. Hyunjin looked determined, which soon was overshadowed by his nervousness. "Only if you want me to stay."
  
   Oh.
  
   Hyunjin wasn't doing any better than him. He was still as insecure as before, yet he was here facing his fear. Jeongin suddenly felt like a kid in front of Hyunjin, which he was from the beginning. But it had always been Jeongin worrying about his clumsy hyung. He always kept worrying if Hyunjin was okay with dealing with whatever the shits going on in his life. There was this small voice in his mind always telling him Hyunjin was too weak to take care of himself, too weak to stand for himself. But today, that voice was muted forever. Hyunjin wasn't any damsel in distress. Yes, he was emotionally broken, he was scarred pretty badly by the universe, but he wasn't weak. He was strong, & that kept him from going on even though everything tried to bring him down. He was scared of many things, but was strong enough to overcome them one by one. He was stronger than Jeongin who was scared from a little scratch. That's when he remembered something that Hyunjin had told him a few months ago.
  
   "I'm your hyung, Innie. I should be the one to protect you. Not otherwise."
  
   This was from the conversation when Hyunjin had overheard Jisung telling others that the latter didn't care about Hyunjin. That night when Jeongin came back to the dorm he had found Hyunjin with puffy red eyes, sketching on his pad with a shade of green colored pencil. Back then he didn't know that Jisung's words could affect Hyunjin like this, nor he knew it was Hyunjin who had a severe breakdown during that afternoon. He just assumed that the older one was sad for some reason. He asked if Hyunjin was okay, & the older told him he wasn't, but it wasn't anything to worry about. He then tried to coax the older to loosen up, & cry if he wanted to. He said he'd protect the older from everything.
  
   But, truth to be told, it was Hyunjin who had been protecting him. All the time. But Jeongin never really thought much of it. Hyunjin could've changed dorms when he first realized Jeongin was his soulmate, but he didn't. Because the older one knew it might hurt Jeongin. Hyunjin could've stopped talking with him after that overhearing incident with Jisung, but he didn't do so because he never wanted to hurt Jeongin nor wanted to make the latter upset. Even now, he was giving Jeongin the chance to choose, he was insecure yet he was letting Jeongin seal their fate.
  
   What kind of fool does that!?
  
   Jeongin felt tears pricking his eyes. The air between them was thick, pressuring down both of them. He felt bitter because Hyunjin got hurt so many times yet he was letting someone else decide his fate. He felt bitter that his hyung thought there was a chance that Jeongin wouldn't want him anymore. Because that was an absolutely absurd thought to have! If anything, Jeongin would tie Hyunjin up with him so that the latter can never leave him again. He wouldn't let Hyunjin go ever.
  
   "..Innie?"
  
   & Jeongin wanted to slap himself. Because Hyunjin was frowning again. Confusion, worry & the fear of feeling unwanted was written all over his face. So, he decided to stop thinking. The more he thought the more Hyunjin looked like a kicked puppy. He sucked up a huge amount of air as he tried to blink away his tears.
  
   "You're grounded."
  
   Jeongin felt his heart flip at the adorable frown that overtook Hyunjin's forehead now.
  
   "I'm...grounded?" Hyunjin asked, clueless what it meant. Jeongin nodded his head as he finally took a step forward. Then another, until he was only a foot away from the older. Hyunjin was taller than him, making him slightly tilt his head upward to look straight at the older's eyes.
  
   "Forever." Hyunjin seemed more confused at that. The pout on his lips got bigger as he stared back at Jeongin. A few loose strands of his black hair fell forward, covering the pretty eyes from Jeongin's view, making the latter automatically reach out to touch them.
  
   "I'm not letting you leave again from my life, hyung." Jeongin had a small smile on his lips while tucking the wet strands behind Hyunjin's red ears. His smile only grew wider as the red slowly took over Hyunjin's whole face, totally taken aback at Jeongin's confession.
  
   Pretty.
  
   Jeongin knew he fell hard for this hyung of his. But, he once again fell for the older when a shy smile bloomed on the other's lips, eyes curling into small crescents as he nodded at Jeongin, agreeing not to leave again.
  


******

  

   Seungmin watched his phone ring for the 3rd time now. He watched Hyunjin's smiling face flashing on the 6inches screen of the device in front of him. Yet he didn't pick it up. He let it ring until it got disconnected on its own after a while.
  
   Earlier this morning, Chan had sent a photo & a small text attached to it in the group chat. A clear photo of Hyunjin snuggling against a pillow that looked just as soft as the boy sleeping on it.
  
   "He's pretty exhausted. He'll contact you guys soon I think. Let's give him a bit more time."
  
   Needless to say that it did manage to calm him down finally. But it also managed to raise a few more feelings inside his chest. Last night Changbin had called him around 2 of the night. The older had explained his side of the story, why he thought it was necessary to give Hyunjin time instead of confronting him. & Seungmin understood everything. After all, he was one who saw the artist in his vulnerable state more than any other soulmates of theirs. He believed that he understood Hyunjin more than others, which was pretty egoistic of him to think like that.
  
   But what if Hyunjin wouldn't understand where Seungmin was coming from?
  
   What if Hyunjin hated him for hiding the biggest fact about themselves?
  
   But what worried him more than how would he tell the older boy about this? Without scaring him? From what he heard from Changbin & after seeing Chan's texts in the group, it was quite clear that Hyunjin was slowly opening up to them, letting them in. But, he still didn't know that Seungmin was one of them, the last one he didn't have any idea about.
  
   So even though Seungmin wanted nothing but to rush over to the SNU dorm at this moment, he decided to lay down on his bed & stare at the ceiling while trying his best to reason with his fears. Besides, another thing was bothering him too. Hyunjin did reject him before. What if Seungmin was just a friend to him after all?
  
   "Minnie, let's just stay as friends..."
  
   Seungmin sprung up to the sitting position as soon as his mind decided to torture him with a fucking imagination of Hyunjin rejecting him. He felt his heart almost going numb from the fear & let out a loud whine. This was the first time. This was the first time Seungmin felt this kind of fear. All because of a certain Hwang Hyunjin. He knew all his fears might be for nothing, he knew how Hyunjin was. So, once again he tried to pull off his head from the gutter & tried to sleep off this unnecessary fear of his.
  
   The first thing he'd do the next morning would be barging into Hyunjin's dorm & abducting him for the day. Yep. That sounded right because he had missed the other a lot, not because he had to explain anything, right?
  

&

  

   Seungmin didn't know what to do or say at this moment. He didn't even know how he ended up here, in the Starbucks near SNU with Han Jisung. He really didn't know. One moment he was standing outside SNU, the next moment went like a blur & then he found himself following the other boy into Starbucks. Why? Well, the reason was still a mystery.
  
   "So....?"
  
   Seungmin drawled out as he raised an eyebrow in question. But Jisung only shot him a pressed smile, which made his cheeks fuller than it already was. It was cute.
  
   Here we go again!
  
   Seungmin internally sighed. The same thing that happened with Felix & him back then was happening again. Getting whipped for a boy he didn't see more than a few times. But then again, he didn't need to see them to find them cute or like them. He had been hearing them for years now. He knew them more than he thought. They were soulmates after all.
  
   "You saw it right?" Seungmin slightly tilted his head at the question, a bit confused what Jisung was talking about. " His photo. Chan hyung sent one in the group"
  
   Oh.
  
   Seungmin nodded as he grabbed his coffee to take a sip. "Yeah.... I'm glad I got an update...like a visual one... it'd been a month since I last saw him. So, yeah..." Now Seungmin pressed his lips in a small smile, as he looked back at Jisung. But Jisung wasn't looking at him. He was staring down at his own coffee cup, rubbing the edge of it with his thumb.
  
   "I haven't seen him for years."
  
   Seungmin blinked. What was Jisung saying?
  
   "I haven't seen him for years until we both ended up in SNU. I was so surprised when I saw him in the studio, y'know. All grown up, prettier than before & still taller than me." Jisung had a small smile on his lips, which didn't last long for some reason. Seungmin didn't say anything, he patiently waited for the other to continue.
  
   "I was so fucking happy to see him, but he wasn't. He said he didn't know me. Even a child could tell that he was lying." Jisung scoffed, but there was a visible sadness in his eyes that made Seungmin's heart ache slightly.
  
   "I can understand why he said that. He was upset at me. Mad at me for leaving him back then. I didn't even get to say goodbye, nor apologize for not being able to be the best friend that I was supposed to be. I just left." Jisung's voiced got smaller at the end.
  
   "You know he can't stay mad at anyone for more than a few hours right?" Seungmin finally spoke up, wanting to comfort the other boy. "He couldn't even stay mad at someone who had been bullying him for years now." Seungmin felt a bitter taste in his mouth when he said that. He still hadn't told anyone about Hyunjin being with Yeonjun to hide from them. He still wasn't able to digest the fact that Hyunjin would go to someone like Yeonjun for any reason. That idiot was too naive, a fool to think Yeonjun would help him.
  
   But he did. He helped him.
  
   Seungmin wanted to slap that rational voice inside his head for once. Of course he knew that, but that didn't mean he'd accept it. Not so easily. Not after seeing what Yeonjun had done to Hyunjin back in their hometown. & Once Hyunjin & he was done with talking their shit out, he was gonna ask about it. He needed to know why Hyunjin went to him.
  
   "He's way too kind-hearted for his own good. I think I know that better than you guys. But this is what makes me uneasy. I don't want him to accept me because he forgot what I did, what I said. I want him to stay strong, stand his ground & accept me only when he could..... forgive me....for everything."
  
   Seungmin nodded, understanding where the other was coming from. Just like him, Jisung was also holding himself back. Forget & forgive were two different things. Jisung couldn't forget what happened between him & Hyunjin, & he couldn't forgive himself for that. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself until Hyunjin forgives him first. If the actions & words weren't forgiven genuinely, no matter how hard they'd try those would come back to them again, they wouldn't be able to forget nor start anew.
  
   "So what do you plan to do? Because he might be a kind hearted person, but also a stubborn idiot. He wouldn't want you to apologize for anything. If anything, that idiot would most probably think that whatever you said & did earlier, he deserved them." Seungmin snorted, clearly upset at Hyunjin's tendency to find his own faults when there was none.
  
   "Actually, I was hoping you could help me with that."
  
   Surprised, Seungmin stared at his soulmate. He could help? How? He couldn't even talk about himself without panicking! Then suddenly Jisung let out a soft chuckle. Seungmin couldn't help but to blush a little when he realized that Jisung most probably heard his thoughts now.
  
   "Well, I guessed that when I saw you standing in front of our university for almost half an hour, fidgeting in one spot." Jisung's grin widened more when Seungmin let out a small groan for being found out. He really thought no one noticed him standing outside the uni for that long doing nothing but fidgeting. "For someone who kissed Jinnie even before confessing, you're really a scaredy cat when it comes to having the conversation."
  
   Seungmin sent a tiny glare at the other boy, who only laughed at him. "Just tell me what do you want me to do?!" He grumbled slowly, not happy to be Jisung's target.
  
   "Just tell him to listen to me before saying anything."
  
   Seungmin furrowed his brows at that. "Well, you could've asked others to do that too. Why me? & What makes you think I'd talk to him before you?" Seungmin once again raised his eyebrows in question.
  
   "Because, those bitches are whipped & I'm sure as hell they were gonna get the words stuck in their throat when Jinnie would look at them with those puppy eyes of his" Jisung snorted & Seungmin could actually imagine that happening.
  
   "& You think his puppy eyes won't work on me?" He asked, not sure if he should feel offended at that or not. He wasn't that cold. & With Hyunjin, not a chance.
  
   "Oh it definitely will." Jisung smirked, "but... you're the only one who was gonna have a proper conversation with him before me. I know I'm kinda throwing you out first, but trust me... being the last one to face him is harder than you think..."
  
   Seungmin stared at his soulmate, who was staring back at him with his own puppy eyes. & Seungmin could only curse himself in his mind. Because, it seemed like Jisung's puppy eyes & weird logic was getting to him. Defeated, he nodded, agreeing to talk with Hyunjin which made Jisung beam at him, with all his teeth on show, cheeks rising up like squirrels. Seungmin found his heart flipping at that, & he blamed that on their soulmate bond.
  


   They walked back to the university after a while when they realized that both of their drinks had gone cold long ago. They held a small conversation on their way back, a simple one trying to get to know each other better. It was full of surprises. Seungmin got to know about Jisung's musical talent & 3racha, while the other found out that Seungmin was a member of the choir club. The younger one also found it relaxing to talk with Jisung. He was kinda a mood maker even though he had his own share of worries & burdens. It was Jisung who kept the conversation flowing, because Seungmin was never the one to talk much. He had always been a good listener. & He found out he liked hearing Jisung rambling about anything & everything. But that stopped when Jisung spotted someone standing in front of the university entrance. He clutched Seungmin's hand tightly. Worried, Seungmin looked at his soulmate who was still staring forward.
  
   "Hey? What happened?" Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows when Jisung shook his head slightly.
  
   "You'll find out soon!" That's all Jisung said before dragging him toward the entrance at a fast pace. They stopped behind a middle aged man, who seemed like he was looking for someone.
  
   "Excuse me?" Jisung called the man, confusing Seungmin more. But when the man turned back toward them, his mind started to short circuit. He had seen the man somewhere, but couldn't remember exactly. But from Jisung's expression he could see that Jisung recognized whoever the man was & he was, both, nervous & excited to see the man.
  
   "Mr. Hwang? It's me, Jisung. Hyunjin's childhood friend!" Jisung had a big smile on his face, but Seungmin couldn't concentrate on that now.
  
   What was Hyunjin's father doing here?
  

The end & a new beginning

   Chapter Summary
   To Hyunjin, love is like a photograph. A rollercoaster ride of memories that makes him believe in the future they hold together.
   Sometimes it makes him cry, sometimes it makes him laugh.
   It is love that gives him the strength to hold onto the people that makes him STAY.
   Chapter Notes
   Finally, the last one!
   Before you start, let me warn you that this chapter is really a loooong oneeeeee....
Initially, it wasn't this long, but I realized that I do need to tie up the loose ends before we end the fic!
   So, sorry in advance ьч
   Happy reading ьщьъ
   See the end of the chapter for more notes
   "Hyung! Look here!"
  
   Yeonjun looked back & the camera went off. Hyunjin was smiling behind the small device, still holding it up to his face. Clicking Yeonjun's photos even though the older one was trying to block his face with his hand. He would never get used to this. But, Hyunjin liked to take his photos, especially the candid ones. He was sure today's photos were also gonna go into the album even if Yeonjun looked like a freaking yoda in some of them. According to his boyfriend, even if Yeonjun looked like a yoda, he was a cute one.
  
   "Hyunnie! Stop!" Yeonjun whined, still covering his face as he walked toward his boyfriend.
  
   "No!" Hyunjin laughed, still clicking away as he walked backward, not wanting Yeonjun to catch him. Which was why he failed to notice the small branch lying in the ground behind him, & tripped on it. If it wasn't for Yeonjun's good reflex, the boy would've fallen on his back.
  
   "You're really gonna kill me someday." Yeonjun grumbled while he carefully balanced the boy in his arms. Hyunjin didn't look worried at all, he only giggled at the other before pulling up his camera to his eyes & clicking another photo of his boyfriend from up close. Yeonjun could only frown in return.
  
   "Seriously?"
  
   "Yep! You look pretty from up close!" Hyunjin chirped up, smiling up at Yeonjun prettily. Yeonjun couldn't help but to smile at that. His boyfriend was clumsy, but adorable. His arms slipped down to the younger's waist, before tightening slightly, pulling the boy closer.
  
   "How about now?" Yeonjun's lips curled up in a smirk as Hyunjin's cheeks painted in soft pink. But that didn't stop him from giggling cutely.
  
   "Still pretty"
  
   Yeonjun pulled him closer, now only a few centimeters away from each other. Their breath fanning against each other's faces as their eyes locked.
  
   "Now?" Yeonjun's voice lowered down to a whisper, lips almost touching Hyunjin's plump pink ones in the process. Hyunjin gasped at that, hands already grabbing the older's arms, nail digging over the sleeve desperately. Yeonjun loved it. He loved it when Hyunjin would be dazed & desperate just by a little teasing. He loved the way Hyunjin's cheeks slowly turned from shy pink to a dark shade of red. He loved it when Hyunjin would take the first step.
  
   Just like now.
  
   "Pretty..." the last few letters came out muffled as Hyunjin leaned forward, capturing Yeonjun's awaiting lips. Regardless of the tension building inside them, the kiss was simple & innocent. They smiled in between the kiss, loving every second of it.
  
   Yeonjun was happy. He was finally happy for once in his life. He still stayed awake most of the night. But unlike before, he now spent them watching the moonlight playing on Hyunjin's pale skin. He still smoked, but to a lesser amount now that Hyunjin didn't like him doing it. He still had trouble trusting people, but he trusted Hyunjin with his life. Hyunjin was his lifeline. The one who made him want to live better.
  


******

  

   Seungmin didn't like it. The way Jisung was running around Minho's kitchen for Mr. Hwang, was irritating the hell out of him. That idiot had brought Hyunjin's father with them to Minho's place, where they were supposed to meet with others & Hyunjin. Was it really necessary?!
  
   "Jisung..."
  
   "Yeah?" The said person didn't look back as he answered, which brought a small frown over Seungmin's forehead.
  
   "You're stressing over nothing. You really don't need to try that hard to impress him, y'know." The last line managed to caught Jisung's attention, making him look back at Seungmin with flushed cheek. So, Seungmin was right. Jisung was really trying to impress Hyunjin's father. This was funny. Seungmin pressed his lips hard, trying not to laugh at the shorter boy's flustered situation. But, he knew he failed when Jisung whined loudly, accusing Seungmin of making fun of him.
  
   "You really acting like you're gonna ask Hyunjin's hand for marriage any moment." Seungmin teased more now that he realized how fun it was to tease Jisung. The squirrel boy shot a not so threatening glare back at him.
  
   "Why? Don't act like you don't wanna put a ring on Jinnie's finger. If anything, I think you'll be the first one to ask him for marriage in the near future, if me or Felix don't beat you in that." Jisung snorted & went back to the empty teacup on the counter. But unlike before, Seungmin didn't say anything back. If Jisung had turned back he would've seen the weirdly confused face the taller boy was making, which soon turned into a look of realization. As if he just discovered something.
  
   "Hey, Jisung..."
  
   "What now? Don't even try to deny- what? Why do you look so shell shocked now?" Jisung had finally turned back, & raised an eyebrow in question.
  
   "In future..." Seungmin stopped for a second, before meeting Jisung's eyes. "Is... Hyunjin gonna marry....all seven of us?!"
  
   Silence enveloped the boys. Seungmin's mind was starting a mess, while Jisung stood just a few feet away from him with a blank face.
  
   "Uh... how do eight people get married to each other? How does that...work...?" Jisung added another question, which only added fuel to Seungmin's misery. The taller boy felt a sudden fear inside him. Marriage was a big decision. Of course he could picture him with Hyunjin in the future, same went for a few other soulmates of his. But one thing he knew was that they were still too young to think of marriage, even though he could see himself growing old with them. But with all eight of them? What if he never felt anything more than friends with some of them? What if he had platonic soulmates & could never love them back the way wanted? Would he have spent his whole life with them? Trying to learn to love them? Wouldn't they be disappointed in him if that happened?
  
   Seungmin knew he was overthinking. But after his older brother's marriage failed, he couldn't help but to think too deeply about soulmate matters.
  
   "I don't... really know..." He meekly replied, mind still messed up. He watched Jisung's shoulder falling in disappointment, before he turned back to get the tray of snacks & tea.
  
   "We'll find out when we'll do it I guess"
  
   Seungmin couldn't say anything anymore. He silently watched Jisung carrying the tray & walking out from the kitchen. The boy was nervous as hell to talk with Hyunjin's father; Seungmin could hear his panicked thoughts loud & clear. That idiot was worried about Hyunjin's father not approving him for his son, when he should be worrying about talking with Hyunjin first. Seungmin tried to focus on the other boy's thoughts for a few more seconds. But soon realized that the answer to his question wasn't inside Jisung's mind now.
  
   He didn't know what Jisung expected from him.
  
   Friendship? Or, romantic type of love that he wasn't sure if he could ever give the other. He didn't even know if he could feel it.
  

&

  

   "You two...?" Mr. Hwang looked between Jisung & Seungmin, "you, both, are his soulmates?"
  
   The duo nodded at the question, confirming it again. Mr. Hwang stared at them for a few more seconds, before he shook his head..
  
   "He never told me.... Any of this..."
  

   Jisung shared a look with Seungmin, who still had this unimpressed look plastered on his face that he had ever since they met Hyunjin's father. Jisung had no idea why the Yonsei boy was acting like this, but he couldn't dwell in it much longer. He had better things to worry about now.
  
   Apparently, Hyunjin hadn't mentioned any of them being his soulmates. His father was hearing it only now, & by the look of it, Mr. Hwang seemed pretty surprised by knowing Hyunjin had two soulmates. Jisung could only wonder what this man's reaction would be when he'd find out that his son actually had seven soulmates, & all of them were planning to be in a polyamory relationship. He could only hope that Mr. Hwang wouldn't have any problem with that. Because Jisung was already tired with the mess that they were in for the last two years.
  
   But there was also another thing that worried him. Something happened between the father & son. It was clear as water that, for some reason Hyunjin had distanced himself from his father enough not to share such an important matter of soulmates with the older man. It was so unlike Hyunjin, but then again they didn't know what exactly went down between those two. Back then, when they were little kids, Hyunjin was very close to his father. He had seen them for four years straight. He was sure that Hyunjin was closer to his father than his mother & he couldn't make a mistake in that. He wondered what changed between these two.
  
   When Jisung exited the cafe with Seungmin, he had texted the others that Seungmin came to see Hyunjin. It was their combined plan to surprise Hyunjin, who still had no idea about Seungmin being their soulmate. So, Minho offered his place for everyone to gather around, hoping that way Hyunjin could meet & talk with both Seungmin & Jisung comfortably. But, the plan changed in the middle, when Jisung & Seungmin found Mr. Hwang outside the university, looking lost. So, without thinking much, Jisung brought Hyunjin's father along with them not knowing any of the things that he just found out. On top of that he had informed none of the others who were most probably on their way now. But, to his defense, he couldn't just leave Mr. Hwang, an old man who was also Hyunjin's only family, waiting outside the university when Hyunjin wasn't even in that building.
  



   On the other hand, Seungmin had been glaring at the old man in front of him ever since they met in the street. He never liked Mr. Hwang, because he had seen how scared Hyunjin was to be around him. He remembered sneaking inside Hyunjin's house back in the latter's hometown in the middle of the night. He had seen this man sleeping on the couch with multiple cheap empty alcohol bottles lying around him. He saw how scared Hyunjin was thinking his father would be awake. He had seen the scars on Hyunjin's arms for a few seconds before the latter covered them hastily. He didn't know if those were self-inflicted or were from Mr. Hwang, but it still managed to make him mad at the latter. What kind of father was he to make Hyunjin live like that? For which, Seungmin really didn't know if they should let Hyunjin meet his father if the boy really had cut off the older man from his life.
  



   "Jisung, can I talk to you for a minute?"
  
   Confused, Jisung stared at him for a few seconds before nodding his head slightly. They excused themselves from the old man, who remained busy sipping on the tea that Jisung made for him.
  
   "What is it? & Why do you have that frown on your face?!" Jisung whispered as soon as they were inside the kitchen, far enough for Mr. Hwang not to hear them.
  
   "Listen, I've a bad feeling about this. Text others not to bring Hyunjin here!"
  
   Jisung's frown only deepened at that. "Why?! Something happened between them, shouldn't we at least try to help them solve it? That man is his father Seungmin! His only family!"
  
   Of course Seungmin knew that. But he also knew & saw a few other things that none of his other soulmates had any idea about.
  
   "He's also the man I saw being passed out on the couch, reeking of cheap alcohol!" Seungmin countered back, which finally shut Jisung up. "I saw them back in their hometown Jisung. Hyunjin was genuinely scared of him to the point that we had to wait outside his house for his father to fall asleep before we could enter. & If... he had cut off his father from his life, he must have had a pretty good reason for that. He wouldn't just cut someone off, who is also his only family, without any strong & valid reason!"
  
   Jisung stayed silent at that. Or course, it had crossed his mind before. Hyunjin wouldn't just cut off anyone from his life without any proper reason. But then again, Jisung knew what it felt to have no one to call family. He himself grew up without any parental figure for the first 12 years of his life. Then he got adopted by Ms. Yoon & who brought him up as a single mother. He never had a father figure in his life. He always had to watch other kids boasting about their fathers, playing with them, and bringing them into the parents teacher meeting. He, too, had been bullied for being an orphan, an adoptive child. So, watching someone not wanting their father in their life, when he had one was something Jisung couldn't understand.
  

   "Jisung?"
  

   Jisung was pulled out from his thoughts by Seungmin's worried voice. He shook his head to get rid of unnecessary thoughts. He needed to think from Hyunjin's point of view. He couldn't just judge everyone based on his own experience & life.
  
   "Yeah.. I guess.. I'll just text in the gro-"
  


   "Hyunjin?"
  

   Both, their eyes widened when they heard Mr. Hwang, loud & clear. Panicked & worried, they rushed out from the kitchen only to see none other than Hyunjin standing in front of his father, while Jeongin & Minho stood behind him, confused. Minho noticed them first, & signed toward them, asking what was going on. But Jisung couldn't answer that. His eyes were stuck on Hyunjin, who he was finally seeing after so long. He should be happy, he should be grinning & running toward the boy to pull the latter in his arms. But he couldn't. Not because they still had to talk. But because he felt like Seungmin was right. He couldn't avert his eyes from Hyunjin who looked pale, as if he had seen a ghost as he stared back at his father. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong, which was soon backed up by Hyunjin's panicked voice inside their mind.
  

   Why is he here?!
  

******

  

   The world was cruel. Sometimes it'd give you everything you want, & sometimes it'd just snatch away more than what it gave you. Sometimes it'd help you to forget your past & let you move on. & Sometimes, it'd just bring you in front of your past, asking you to finish your unfinished business. It could be, both, a good thing or a bad thing. But, Yeonjun didn't know whether it was good or bad for him to stand in front of his past again. & As if dreaming of something impossible wasn't enough for him today, the universe decided to bring a major part of his past in front of him today.
  
   Yeonjun couldn't look away from his phone. For a second he thought that he was dreaming, or maybe hallucinating. But he could clearly hear his phone ringing, he could feel the vibration on his hand, he could see the familiar name of the person he never thought of in the last two years.
  
  

Soobin

  

   A dry chuckle easily slipped past his cracked lips in disbelief. The world really decided to make him face every single person from his past. He never really had any bad blood with Soobin, in fact they were best friends with polar opposite personalities. He was the only person who knew Yeonjun from the inside out, but also another person who left Yeonjun to dust.
  
   He watched silently, until the phone stopped ringing. He didn't know why Soobin was calling him again after two years, & by the number Yeonjun knew he had come back to Korea. What did he want from Yeonjun? How should he talk? Should he ask why Soobin left? Or, should he just talk like a familiar stranger?
  
   Stop thinking so much!
  
   Yeonjun sighed when Hyunjin's voice popped up in his head again. That idiot was clearly influencing him nowadays. Sighing, he sat up with his back resting on the headboard & called back. It rang only two times before someone picked the call from the otherside.
  
   "Yeonjun?"
  
   He couldn't fight the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips at the familiarity of the voice. It was still the same, gentle & cautious.
  
   "Soobin-ah... When did you come back?" It came naturally to him, when it shouldn't be.
  
   "You should be asking how I am first, shouldn't you?" The boy chuckled from the other end "& to answer your question, I came back last night. I came back for good."
  
   Yeonjun wanted to ask why. But decided against it at the last second.
  
   "That's....great. I really didn't think you'd be back or have my number still." Yeonjun chuckled, trying to cover up the bitterness in his voice.
  
   Soobin hummed in reply.
  
   "I didn't think so too when I left back then. But... I don't really wanna run away anymore. I think I never should've..." The last line came out like a whisper, as if Soobin was scared to say it out loud.
  
   Yeonjun closed his eyes as he tilted back his head. He didn't expect this. Not back then. Not now. He felt like he was 18 again, standing alone, scared to choose. Scared to lose.
  
   "Soo-"
  
   "How's Hyunjin by the way?" Soobin interrupted him, most probably knowing what Yeonjun was about to say. The older boy let out a soft sigh.
  
   "He's good. Studying arts in SNU. & Believe it or not, we're friends now. Pretty good ones to text every single day & use cute emojis." His lips curled up more as he said all that. It was true. They had been texting everyday, sharing cute memes & funny videos most of the time. Sometimes Yeonjun would ask him about his day, & Hyunjin would complain about everything & everyone while using cute emojis.
  
   Soobin laughed from the other end. "See? I told you that you two would be great friends if you hadn't been bullying him all the time."
  
   Yeonjun chuckled at that.
  
   "Yeah, I apologized for all the shits I've done before. I'm glad I talked to him before I lost the chance." He didn't mention anything that Soobin didn't know. He didn't want Soobin to know of the monster he had turned into. But the younger boy suddenly went quiet for a few seconds, which scared him a little.
  

   "....did you... does he know?"
  

   Yeonjun opened his eyes slowly. The smile on his lips dimmed a little.
  
   "No... He doesn't need to..."
  

   We're better like this...
  

   But unfortunately, Soobin didn't think so. "Hyung... you need to tell him...."
  

   Ah~ there it is. He still calls me hyung when he wants to talk seriously.
  

   "I don't... & I don't need you to tell me what to do...." Yeonjun clenched his jaws tight. Holding himself back from saying anything ruder.
  

   "Hyung I-"
  

   "It's been great talking to you again Soobin-ah.. But I have to go now. Let's catch up later, 'kay?" Yeonjun wanted to drop the call. He didn't really have anything to do or anywhere to go. But he just couldn't talk with Soobin anymore. Especially not in this matter.
  
   "Can we meet later?" A corner of his lips curled up again at Soobin's question.
  
   "Sure. Tomorrow?"
  
   "Okay..."
  

   They dropped the call.
  


******

  


   What was harder? To forgive? Or, forget?
  
   Hyunjin wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if the person sitting in front of him even deserved to be forgiven. He didn't know if he could ever forget this person's actions. He also didn't know why he was here, trapped inside Minho's bedroom with the person who was supposed to be in jail right now.
  

   "I'm not your fucking dad!"
  

   Mr. Hwang looked old in Hyunjin's eyes. As if he aged 10years or more in just a few weeks. It's been around four weeks since that incident. His father Mr. Hwang didn't look the same anymore. Nor, Hyunjin felt the same for the man in front of him anymore.
  
   Both of them were now sitting inside Minho's room; Mr. Hwang on the edge of the bed while Hyunjin on the other's opposite, on the study table. There was a safe distance between them, something that Hyunjin kept for his own sanity. He didn't trust the man in front of him. He was still scared. When Minho offered his room for them to talk, he immediately wanted to protest. He didn't want to be in the same room as the old man, let alone behind closed doors. But he couldn't say anything. He didn't even look at Minho. He let the older dancer lead his father to his room, & after a few seconds, Hyunjin just followed them with his heart almost beating out of his chest in fear. He felt dazed. The voice that he'd been trying to push far back in his mind once again came front. It laughed at him.
  

   You don't have a choice. You never had a choice.
  

   Hyunjin knew it wasn't true. He had a choice. He could just say no & walk out from here. His soulmates would let him do that. They would never force him. But still couldn't stop his feet taking him to the room. That's when Chan came along with Felix & Changbin. When they asked what was going on, Jeongin replied to him. He told the newcomers about the situation. Apparently, it was Jisung who found Mr. Hwang outside the university & brought him here for Hyunjin to meet him. Hyunjin couldn't help but to feel sad that it was supposed to be him & Jisung talking, not him & Mr. Hwang. But it had to wait for some other time, & he didn't want his soulmates to raise any questions anymore. Because he didn't know what to answer then.
  


   "...a close friend of mine bailed me this Monday." Mr. Hwang had his head hung low, eyes fixed on his hands. "It...It wasn't easy, but.. he somehow managed to bail me out..." For some reason Mr. Hwang didn't sound happy about it, but Hyunjin decided not to say anything. He couldn't. There was a lump stuck in his throat ever since he stepped inside this place, which only grew larger with every passing seconds. But, his eyes... were pinned on the old man, cautious of every single breath he inhaled & exhaled.
  
   "My lawyer... he said that I.." Mr. Hwang was hesitating. Hyunjin watched the old man nervously licking his lower lip, hands rubbing together in an anxious way. "I'd need a... official statement from you... that I..."
  
   Hyunjin felt weird. Mr. Hwang never hesitated to talk with him before, not even when they had a great bonding nine years ago. But, just a few weeks ago he had learnt in a hard way that he just couldn't believe anyone in anything just because he felt like it. Words could be deceiving, expression could be deceiving, relationships could be deceiving, even love could be deceiving. The voice inside his head was still begging him to flee & never look back no matter what. But, he couldn't even if he felt the fear in his bones, slowly freezing him. Besides, what would he tell his soulmates if he fled away now? Then again, what would he tell them if he didn't? How'd he tell them what this man did to him? How were they gonna take it? Would he be accepted? Or not? Would they realize they'd been wasting their precious time coaxing someone who was nothing but a broken, dirty doll? More than that, he was worried about what the old man was talking about.
  

   What statement?
  

   Mr. Hwang still couldn't look up. He avoided Hyunjin's eyes as his life depended on it. "A statement that I wasn't involved in anything that... that happened that night." Mr. Hwang finally managed to say it & Hyunjin blanked. Memories started flashing in his mind & just in a few seconds he lived the same nightmare once again. He felt trapped again, he wanted to be saved. He wanted Yeonju-
  
   "But you don't have too." Hyunjin's eyes snapped up at Mr. Hwang, wide in fear & disbelief. Did he just hear it right?
  
   "I didn't come here... to ask for the statement. Not when I know the truth." Mr. Hwang slowly lifted his head up, finally meeting Hyunjin's eyes. "I came here to apologize."
  
   Hyunjin felt his head spin.
  

   "For everything."
  

   Why now?! After all these?!
  

   "Even though I know I lost the right long ago..."
  

&

  

   Jisung wasn't really known as a patient person. If anything, he was the most impatient person among the seven of them who were waiting outside the bedroom. While everyone else was trying to keep themselves busy with other things, here he was, sitting on the couch beside Jeongin & fidgeting every 30 seconds.
  
   "Hyung... Do you need to go to the washroom?"
  
   Jisung blinked at the maknae confused, not getting the idea why he was asked that question.
  
   "No?" Jisung replied with a confused frown.
  
   "Then why are you moving every 10 seconds like you're holding back your pee?!"
  
   Scandalous, Jisung's face went red when the others started to laugh at him. Even Chan, who was now hiding his face behind Changbin's back, body shaking with his laugh. Minho was already pointing at the nearest washroom door with a teasing smile playing on his lips, while Felix was cooing at their maknae for "roasting Sungie". Jisung was sure this was an anti-jisung household. He pouted at their maknae who in return showed Jisung his tongue & went back to cuddling Felix. Jisung's pout got bigger before his eyes travelled back to the others & with a faux smile he showed his middle finger. Minho smirked at that.
  
   "Sure. How about tonight?"
  
   Jisung once again went red, while the others started a chaos stating there was a baby among them. Chan even asked the two of them to keep it down in front of the baby. The baby, in return, did nothing but roll his eyes hard enough that scared Felix that Jeongin's eyes would get stuck.
  

   Amused, Seungmin had been watching everything from a corner now. He was sitting on the single couch that Chan had offered him since he wasn't really that close with the others. The oldest of them knew he wouldn't feel comfortable, at least not yet. He was grateful for that. He was also grateful to the others for respecting his boundaries but also keeping him in their conversations so that he wouldn't feel like left out. He didn't know that they would be this much understanding.
  
   But aside from that, just like Jisung, he also couldn't help but to steal glances at the closed door of Minho's bedroom. It had been almost 40minutes since the father-son duo went inside to talk. & Truthfully speaking, he didn't really have a good feeling about that. There was a voice inside his head, nagging him to break that door & bring out Hyunjin.
  
   "Don't worry" Seungmin turned left & found Changbin looking at him with a hint of smile. "I haven't known him for long... But I can tell, he's strong.. he'll be fine.."
  
   Seungmin really wanted to believe in Changbin at the moment. But, the voice inside his head didn't let him.
  
   They don't know anything.
  
   "What if..he isn't?" Seungmin asked, not noticing that everyone's attention was now on him.
  
   "Then, we'll help him to get better...." Everyone looked at Chan, who was staring at Seungmin with a small reassuring smile.
  
   "We will be here for him, won't we?" Chan asked with a tilt of his head. Everyone now had smiles on their faces as they nodded.
  
   "No matter what..." Minho spoke up, his eyes traveling from one face to another & stopped on Seungmin. "We're all here for each other." He smiled & suddenly Seungmin felt his eyes burn. He wasn't the one to cry so easily. He was the type who could mask his emotion perfectly without anyone getting a hint of it. But, Minho's words tugged a string in his heart. Painfully relieving. A weird feeling. Seungmin pressed his lips in a line as he tried to blink away the tears.
  
   Stupid tears. Stupid emotions. Stupid soulmates.
  
   But he adored them.
  

&

  

   By the time the door to the bedroom opened, everyone was on the edge. While some were worried what could take the father-son duo this long, some were ready to go inside & check if everything was alright. But before anyone could do that, Mr. Hwang walked out from the room in small steps. He looked defeated. Seungmin felt his worry skyrocketing when Hyunjin didn't follow his father. He didn't waste any time & pushed through the crowd to the room. He didn't even spare a glance at Hyunjin's father. That man was not his priority, but Hyunjin was. He could hear a few footsteps following him, but didn't turn back to see who came with him. Because as soon as he stepped inside the room, his eyes were stuck Hyunjin.
  
   The boy was curled up on the chair, face hidden between his legs. He was shaking. It didn't take him or anyone inside the room much time to understand that the boy was crying.
  
   "Hyung?!"
  
   Seungmin watched as Jeongin rushed past him to the curled up figure. The youngest tried to coax Hyunjin to look up, but the latter only shook his head before tightening his hands around his legs. His heart ached. This was the second time he saw Hyunjin crying like this. But this time for a solely different reason.
  
   His father. His last family. The one who barely cared about Hyunjin.
  
   Right at that moment, he heard Mr. Hwang ask the others to take care of Hyunjin. Seungmin felt his blood boil. He wanted to go out & lash at the man. He wanted to tell the man that he... they could take better care of Hyunjin without Mr. Hwang asking them. & Maybe he would've done that if he wasn't stopped right at that moment.
  
   "...Minnie?"
  
   Seungmin's eyes found Hyunjin's tearful ones. His face was covered with tear stains, lips parted in confusion. He noticed Jeongin's nervous glances toward him & remembered that Hyunjin didn't know yet. A small sigh slipped past his thin lips before he forced a small smile on his lips as walked closer to the artist. There was a voice inside his head, worried sick, if it was the right time to talk with Hyunjin. But Seungmin knew, it was now or never. He had already kept the boy in the dark for a long time now. Maybe it would shock Hyunjin, maybe the boy would be upset at him. But that's better than Hyunjin pushing him away thinking they couldn't be anything more than just friends.
  
   The forced smile on Seungmin's lips slowly turned genuine when Hyunjin didn't look away nor he flinched when the former gently cupped his face. Thumbs wiping away the tear stains as lovingly as possible.
  
   "Hey, Jinnie.... Missed me?"
  
   & The dam broke once again. Hyunjin's lips wobbled before tears once again started falling from his eyes. He almost threw himself on Seungmin, hiding his face on the latter's fluffy sweater, arms tightly wrapped around the younger's middle. Seungmin carefully held the boy close to him before looking back at their youngest. Jeongin shot him a small smile before leaving them alone in the room.
  

&

  

   "I couldn't be a good father to him. I couldn't be a good soulmate to his mother." Mr. Hwang had a pitiful look on his face. Shoulder hunched down in a defeated manner as everyone stared at him confused & worried. His eyes travelled on all the young faces in front of him, letting himself fall back in the past.
  
   When he was young. When Hyunjin's mother, Hyorin, was young. He remembered the mistakes they made without knowing the consequences. & Unfortunately, he could see the boys in front of him making the same mistakes. Something, which might crush Hyunjin's every bit of hope one day. He could see it clearly. These boys were gonna take a big risk.
  
   "Don't do it, if you can't handle it."
  

&

  

   "I'm scared."
  
   Seungmin silently watched the boy beside him staring out the window. Waiting for the other to continue. But, Hyunjin didn't say anything anymore, so Seungmin decided to talk.
  
   "I'm too."
  
   Hyunjin turned his head toward Seungmin, eyes still red & swollen from crying a while ago. "Why?" He asked in a small whisper, but Seungmin heard it clearly & smiled.
  
   "This is new to me." Seungmin suddenly couldn't look up at Hyunjin. His eyes found the pattern of wool of his sweater sleeve interesting all of a sudden. "I never thought of looking for my soulmates. I do adore them... y'all, a lot... but I never thought I'd really meet you guys...it never really crossed my mind..." A small smile was playing in his lips at that.
  
   "But... Now you met them. You are suddenly thrown off the grid..." Hyunjin interrupted him. Seungmin let out a small sigh as he nodded slowly.
  
   "When I met you back in your hometown... I was so confused y'know." Seungmin laughed remembering all the new feelings he experienced in just a few hours that day. "I was so confused why I felt that way toward you, a complete stranger. I had a hunch that you were one of them... & it should've scared me. But, instead I suddenly felt like I'd be lucky if you really turned out to be my soulmate." Seungmin smiled at the memory of him watching Hyunjin sleep beside him the whole night as the want to protect Hyunjin from everything slowly intensified within him.
  
   "Why.... didn't you tell me?"
  
   Seungmin looked up at Hyunjin, who looked confused. Seungmin would have been too if he were in Hyunjin's place.
  
   "I didn't want to assume anything just because I liked you... I tried to put together all the pieces I could find from our conversation. I wanted to be sure...." Seungmin smiled as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind the older boy's ear. "& By the time I was sure, I found out you were scared to meet your soulmates... you were scared to meet me...." Memories from the night when Hyunjin rejected him flashed behind his eyes.
  
   "I tried to tell you I'd love you no matter what...even if we weren't soulmates... but you were going through something..." Seungmin smiled when he saw Hyunjin's eyes shining with unshed tears. "I could tell.. But I was an idiot, & didn't follow you back then. I thought you genuinely didn't like me, soulmate or not."
  
   Seungmin's smile widened a bit more when Hyunjin shook his head immediately.
  
   "That's not true..."
  
   "I know... & that's why I'm here. I came back looking for you." Seungmin's hand found its way to Hyunjin's cheek, gently caressing it while Hyunjin melted in his touch.
  
   "& You found them too..."
  
   Seungmin nodded. "I don't regret meeting them, I would never... I'm just scared that I might not feel the same for them as I feel for you...."
  
   Seungmin watched Hyunjin's calm expression changing into a confused one.
  
   "Minnie... what are you-"
  
   "I love you, Jinnie... Soulmate or not... I'll love you the same until the end...but..."
  
   "...But?"
  
   "I don't know if I could ever feel the same for them.. love them the way I love you..."
  


******

  

   Hyunjin couldn't sleep that night. His father had left long ago. His other soulmates, except for Seungmin, also left a few hours ago, after they came to a conclusion that they didn't want to bother Hyunjin with anything today anymore.
  
   Hyunjin wasn't an idiot. He knew what they were worried about. He had seen Jisung today, curled up beside Minho on the couch when Hyunjin & Seungmin had finally come out from the room. Everyone looked worried until they noticed his & Seungmin's hands entangled together. Their worry turned into relief. Jisung looked happy for them too. But, for some reason Hyunjin couldn't smile. He stared at everyone with a blank look. He saw Chan & Felix in front of the kitchen, Minho & Jisung on the couch, Changbin & Jeongin by the dining table. They were all in pairs for some reason. Then his eyes went back to his & Seungmin's entangled hands.
  
   "Minho hyung... Can I stay the night here? With Minnie?"
  
   Hyunjin's request had surprised everyone. But, none was against it. If anything, Minho gladly let him crash here with Seungmin before shoo-ing everyone out saying Hyunjin needed to rest today. He wouldn't lie. He did expect Jisung to protest, or at least try to talk with him. But, Jisung didn't do anything like that. He even asked Minho if the older one wanted to stay at Jisung's dorm tonight, to which Minho agreed. They didn't take much time after that. Minho had left the keys to Seungmin before placing a gentle kiss on Hyunjin's forehead, asking him not to worry too much.
  
   But, obviously Hyunjin couldn't do that. Which was why he was still up at 4am in the morning, staring outside the window silently while Seungmin was sleeping soundly beside him.
  

   It was almost 6am when Hyunjin found himself going through Minho's wardrobe quitely. Soon he found a blue hoodie, & decided to put it on without wasting another second. He grabbed his wallet, phone & the small piece of paper that his father had left for him yesterday.
  
   His father's handwriting had changed a lot. He could barely recognize the handwriting anymore. But he did recognize the address written on the crumpled paper. He spared one last look at Seungmin's sleeping figure before silently walking out from the house. Without saying anything to anyone.
  
   No.
   He did tell someone.
   Who wasn't his soulmate.
  


******

  


   Yeonjun didn't know what to expect or think when he received a call from Hyunjin early in the morning. But he almost had a heart attack when he saw Hyunjin's name on the screen. He was worried. After all, the boy hadn't contacted him, nor seen a single text that he had sent yesterday. So, when he only got an address in reply to all his texts & worried inquiries, he did nothing but run out from his apartment after messily throwing in some clothes that he found on the floor in front of him. & Took the first bus to Daegu without even thinking much. All he knew was that the boy was going there for some reason, & he needed Yeonjun to be with him. On his way to Daegu, he sat confused & worried what could've happened for Hyunjin to leave Seoul like this.
  

   Did Hyunjin have an argument with Seungmin? Or his other soulmates?
  
   Did he tell them before leaving?
  

   Yeonjun highly doubted that. By the time he got off the bus, he was sure Hyunjin's soulmates were most probably going crazy looking for him. At least, he knew Seungmin would be. He fished out his phone from the front pocket of the jeans & opened the text that Hyunjin had sent an hour ago; with the same address he told Yeonjun before. Yeonjun called a cab & showed the address for his location.
  


   "You're not from here, are you kid?" The driver, who was a middle aged man, asked curiously. Yeonjun didn't say much, just nodded when the man looked at him through the front mirror.
  
   "No wonder. Local people know this place quite well." The driver continued talking, in which Yeonjun wasn't really interested. Until he heard the next line.
  
   "After all, this is the biggest cemetery in Daegu."
  

   Cemetery?! What was Hyunjin doing in a cemetery?!
  

   "If you don't mind, kid, who are you visiting?" The man asked, but Yeonjun couldn't answer.
  
   Because he didn't know.
  





   He found the other boy crouching down in front of the cemetery with a small bouquet of lilies held close to his chest. Yeonjun didn't know what was happening, nor who could it be that Hyunjin wanted to visit all of a sudden. But he did know that Hyunjin wasn't himself. His eyes were blank, as he stared at the white flowers in his hands. Just right then, Hyunjin looked up from his flowers, eyes immediately landing on Yeonjun. There was a flicker of relief in his black eyes as he stood up.
  

   "Hyung...."
  
   Yeonjun walked closer to the boy, heart aching at how vulnerable Hyunjin sounded just now. He stopped only two steps away from the boy. & Now that he was able to see the boy from up close, he could see the red lines of the other boy's eyes.
  
   He realized that he was mistaken. The pretty almond eyes weren't exactly blank. If anything they were filled with pain, vulnerability & confusion. & Yeonjun wanted to curse himself for being able to read Hyunjin like this, when he shouldn't be able to. He couldn't stop his heart from aching when he could read the boy like an open book. Once he made the very same boy cry so much, but never felt his heart aching like this. Because just after rendering Hyunjin to a crying mess, Yeonjun always fled from the scene, not wanting to witness the damage he caused. He was angry. With himself, with the universe, with Hyunjin. His anger always stomped his rational side to nothingness. But now, when he had finally accepted his fate, his mistakes, he could feel his heart aching violently just by seeing Hyunjin with swollen red eyes.
  
   "Hyunie? What are you doing here?!" He couldn't mask the concern in his voice. Well, he didn't even try to.
  
   A small rueful smile tugged the corner of the boy's lips up.
  
   "I'm here to visit my mom, hyung."
  
   Yeonjun felt his breath hitch. Hyunjin's mom? She was dead?!
  
   "But I didn't know..." Hyunjin paused for a second, pain in his eyes doubled all of a sudden. "I didn't know if I could do it alone..."
  



******

  


   "Seungmin, are you sure Hyunjin didn't say anything about going somewhere?" Chan asked again, while others were already calling their friends in the university asking if they had seen the missing artist this morning. Minho & Felix had gone to Hyunjin's previous dorm & while Jeongin had gone back to his & Hyunjin's shared dorm to check.
  
   Seungmin shook his head frustrated. Because, no. Hyunjin didn't tell him anything before leaving. Nor, he said anything that could've hinted that Hyunjin was planning to run away again.
  
   Hell! He didn't even know if Hyunjin had run away or he just went somewhere to spend some time alone.
  
   Right at that moment, someone's phone rang, loudly enough to catch everyone's attention. Jisung hurriedly received the call after informing them that it was Minho.
  
   Everyone watched Jisung eagerly asking Minho about Hyunjin, then saw his face fall in disappointment. Minho & Felix didn't find him. Just after that Jeongin texted in the group chat. He couldn't find Hyunjin either.
  
   Seungmin tried to call Hyunjin again. It rang & got disconnected again just like the last two hours. Frustrated, Seungmin wanted to throw his phone away.
  
   "Do you think he..." Jisung suddenly spoke up from where he was sitting, but paused in the middle for a few seconds.."Is he upset? For yesterday?"
  
   Chan nodded with a deep sigh. "There's a possibility. I don't know what happened between them, but still I could tell that talking with his father had drained him a lot." At that, Jisung curled his legs to his chest on the couch, appearing smaller than he was. He felt guilty.
  
   "Jisung.... I hope you are not blaming yourself for any of this.." Chan patted Jisung's fluffy hair gently, before looking back at Seungmin.
  
   "You too... Don't blame yourself for anything..."
  
   " He might be emotionally weak at the moment, he might be upset with his father... But, he won't run away like this..." Changbin sounded sure & Seungmin felt jealous. "I'm sure he'll be back once he feels better...."
  
   "Yes... I think so too..." Chan smiled before patting Jisung's back, who still had unshed tears in his eyes... "Let's send him some love filled texts so that he knows.... That he has a home to come back..."
  
   Home?
  
   "He has us....."
  
   Oh......
  


   JIsung stared at the opened chat on his phone. Hyunjin's name was on top of it, with a photo of him holding a stray puppy. The photo quality wasn't that good, but still it couldn't hide the happiness that was radiating from Hyunjin. That boy had always been an animal lover, especially a dog lover. As far as Jisung remembered, Hyunjin did have a dog named Kkami, didn't he? Where was it now?
  
   Jisung sighed as a few memories of their past started to flash behind his eyes. Ones, where they were happy, smiling, attached to the hip. Jisung planning weird shits & Hyunjin going along with it.
  
   Why?
  
   "Because I love you!"
  
   A fond smile stretched on his lips as he remembered the little Hyunjin saying that with his full chest. He could still hear the cheery voice in his head, claiming to love Jisung.
  



   To: My Jinnie '
  
   Hey, Jinnie...
   This is your Sungie...
   I haven't replied to your confession back when we're kids.... I don't know if you remember it... but, you told me.... That you love me.... (& I'm never gonna let it go!)
  
   I know I'm late.... Way too late... I know you might be upset with me... But, please... let me give you a proper reply...
   Please come back soon....
  
   So that I can tell you face to face that I.....
   love you too...
  



******

  


   "You're smiling...."
  
   Hyunjin looked up from his phone to Yeonjun, who was looking back at him confused. He couldn't help but to laugh at that, making the older boy more confused.
  
   Because, Hyunjin was crying just a minute ago.
  
   "You're scaring me now...." Yeonjun made a face as he took a small tentative step away from him. "I knew it was a bad idea to let you disturb all those dead people in the cemetery with your loud crying & sniffing noises!" Yeonjun grumbled more, but this time there was a teasing tone behind his words.
  
   "Well, excuse me for being happy." Hyunjin rolled his eyes dramatically, before he started walking again, leaving the tease behind. They were now walking aimlessly in the busy roads of Daegu. None of them had come here before & both of them were terrible with their direction sense, so it wouldn't take long for them to get lost in the city. & Hyunjin hoped, Yeonjun had enough charge on his phone to use the map when it's needed, because his phone had died just after he read a text from Chan.
  


   'Stop worrying us princess
  
   Jisung is gonna cry before Jeongin this time...
  
   Come back soon....'
  




   "Hyung?"
  
   "Hmm?" Yeonjun replied as he walked beside Hyunjin, eyes roaming around the street market on the sidewalk.
  
   "What do you think about soulmates?"
  



   Yeonjun felt the corners of his lips curling up slightly at the question. It was amusing to him that Hyunjin was asking him this question.
  
   "I have different thoughts about it. I think it's better if I say that my view on it changed with time..." Yeonjun stole a curious glance at the boy beside him. "Why do you ask?"
  
   Hyunjin didn't reply at first, but then suddenly he stopped on his track & turned toward Yeonjun, who in turn stopped too.
  
   "Can you... tell me?"
  
   Yeonjun couldn't help but to notice the hesitance in the younger's voice & the confusion that was swirling in his dark orbs, that Yeonjun had noticed as soon as he saw the other in front of the cemetery. He didn't know what it was about, but he did know that telling Hyunjin about his changing views on soulmate bonds was gonna risk a lot.
  
   "He deserves to know."
  
   At this moment, Yeonjun couldn't help but hate Soobin. That idiot's voice was still loud & clear in his mind. Hyunjin deserved a lot of things. But, a small secret wouldn't hurt him, right?
  
   No. He needs an explanation after what he had gone through.
  
   & Now, Yeonjun wanted to kick the voice in his mind. It was supposed to be on his side. But, unfortunately, the voice of his own consciousness was sounding awfully like Soobin at the moment.
  
   Yeonjun sighed in defeat, making Hyunjin stare at him confused.
  
   I guess, it's time to risk it all.....
  

&

  

  
   Yeonjun was seven when his parents got divorced. He didn't understand what was happening, or why was his mom walking out from the house with a bigass luggage with an empty promise of coming back to get him. He didn't understand why his father left him with one of his aunts & never came back even though Yeonjun would wait for him the whole day in front of the porch everyday with his favourite buzz toy in his small hands.
  
   Then one day he heard his aunt talking with someone. She was quite frustrated with Yeonjun being stubborn all the time. She complained how his parents should've dumped him in some orphanage before running away with their soulmates. Yeonjun didn't quite understand what she meant.
  
   Yeonjun was eight, when he realized what his aunt meant. Thanks to the parents of his classmates. He was in elementary school at that time. His aunt had enrolled him into one as July came over. Weirdly, but luckily she had changed a lot within the last few months. She cared about Yeonjun a lot unlike the time when he first started staying with him. She was kinder & patient with Yeonjun nowadays, for which he was grateful & happy. But, soon he learned the world wasn't as kind as his mother or his aunt, it wasn't inclined to make Yeonjun happy like his father. He realized the world was an ugly place, full of shits at the age of eight. He realized love was never enough for one to stay.
  
   His parents weren't soulmates. They were childhood best friends who ended up falling in love with each other which led them to their marriage at the age of 23. They were in love, so much that everyone mistook them for being soulmates. & Weirdly enough, they never tried to correct anyone. They had Yeonjun when they both were 25, stable with their own careers. They welcomed him wholeheartedly, loved him like they loved no one else before. He was the centre of their life, he was the root of their happiness. Until, they found their own happiness in their own soulmates. Suddenly, they weren't in love with each other, but with their soulmates. Suddenly, they didn't care about Yeonjun anymore & left him alone with empty promises. & Weirdly, the people of this world tortured Yeonjun for this when he was just an innocent child. & Soon he realized that he hated these soulmate bonds.
  
   His classmates often laughed at him, bullied him from a younger age. He'd often get into fights with them, & made the parents of the others report against him. His aunt had to apologize everytime, because no one believed him. They kept saying that he had started the fight on his own, for no reason. His aunt tried to talk with him, but he never tried to justify himself. There was a suppressed anger inside him that he couldn't unleash until he met Hyunjin.
  
   Hyunjin was just a year younger than him. The first day he saw the younger one was when he was nine & the other was eight. Hyunjin's family was new in the neighborhood. They were a perfect little family, unlike Yeonjun's nonexistent one. The first time they met was the time when Hyunjin helped him hide from his bullies. Hyunjin was slightly taller than him as a kid. Yeonjun remembered looking up at Hyunjin's kind eyes, but not being able to say thanks. He wasn't used to someone helping him. He didn't say anything back then, & ran away leaving Hyunjin alone in the back of the school garden. With passing days, he realized everyone loved & adored Hyunjin. He was a perfect son & a perfect model student. He was perfect in everything. On top of that, he was a kind soul with a blinding smile. Yeonjun was jealous. Because he was the exact opposite of Hyunjin. He didn't have parents who were soulmates, he was naughty & problematic, he often got into fights, he didn't have friends, he wasn't even good in academics & no one liked him. He hated it whenever kids would make fun of him. He hated it more when Hyunjin came to stop those kids with an unimpressed frown on his forehead. He didn't want pity. He didn't believe Hyunjin would genuinely try to help him. Because, Hyunjin didn't know how it felt to be abandoned by everyone you loved.
  

   Everything changed when Yeonjun got promoted to middle school at the age of thirteen. Hyunjin's parents got divorced; his mom had another soulmate & left him with his father, who soon turned out not to be his father. Apparently, Hyunjin's mom had an extramarital affair with his other soulmate & had Hyunjin, & all this time no one knew anything about it. & The real parents didn't even want him. They abandoned Hyunjin. Even the short kid from the orphanage that Hyunjin used to play with also left him. Yeonjun felt like he was in a new world when he woke up one morning & found out no one cared about his past anymore. Hyunjin was their new target & Yeonjun gladly joined to torture the boy. He wanted Hyunjin to experience everything that Yeonjun had gone through for years. His anger on the world that had been suppressed inside him for years, he unleashed them all on Hyunjin. Because Hyunjin was an easy target. But everytime he did something to Hyunjin, he couldn't bear to watch it. He would make excuses & flee from the scene & only come back when Hyunjin was ready for his next torture.
  
   He never acknowledged the guilt that was slowly eating him up from inside. He turned blind eyes to his consciousness & kept bullying the younger boy.
  

   He met Soobin during his first year in Highschool. Soobin was a new kid with family problems & was courageous enough not to care about Yeonjun's shits. He even became friends with Hyunjin which irked Yeonjun to a degree. But then one day, he found Yeonjun in the middle of a breakdown in their old gym, & suddenly started telling about his family even though Yeonjun had threatened to throw him down from the window. But, Soobin didn't care nor did he stop. By the end of the day, Yeonjun found out he & Soobin were almost the same. The only difference was Soobin didn't let his anger & frustration control him, but Yeonjun gave his anger full control over him. They got along just fine after that. They were attached to the hip in a few weeks.
  
   Being with Soobin changed Yeonjun a lot. He slowly became less violent, but still bullied people enough to make their life a living hell. But Hyunjin would often be saved from that because of Soobin. Soobin liked Hyunjin, Yeonjun could tell just by watching the way his best friend would talk about Hyunjin. & It irked Yeonjun more. Because he liked Soobin, & Hyunjin was between them. He remembered the first time he got into an argument with Soobin after their friendship. Hyunjin had helped him patch his hand after a meaningless fight outside the school, & Yeonjun bullied him as soon as they got out from the infirmary. Soobin was mad. So, fucking mad that he asked Yeonjun to stay away from him, & Yeonjun got mad because Soobin was throwing him away for Hyunjin. It was a mess. They didn't talk for a long time after that.
  
   Yeonjun was in the final year of his highschool when he first heard them. Two distinct voices in his head. Voices that could make him feel butterflies in his stomach. He felt dizzy with happiness. & Suddenly he started liking the soulmate bond. He didn't know who they were, or where to find them. At least, not until he got into an accident & spent four months in bed to recover. He had to skip the year & watch his so called friends graduate. He was bitter that the world always found a way to drag him down. But soon that bitterness melted away when he started his last year again with the juniors, Hyunjin & Soobin's batch. He found out Soobin was his soulmate, & so was....
  
   Hyunjin.
  
   Yeonjun felt like the world was playing a joke with him. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be Hyunjin. The one who he tortured all those years, the one who was genuinely scared of him. & Once again he felt bitter about the soulmate system. Was this a way of the universe to mock him?
  
   His bitterness soon turned into anger once again when he found out Soobin was just his platonic soulmate, while his heart would find every chance to get closer to Hyunjin, adore him. He took it as a challenge. He wanted to show the universe that the term platonic soulmate wouldn't stop him from loving Soobin. When in reality, he was just scared to face Hyunjin.
  
   Soobin rejected him. He didn't believe Yeonjun could love him the same way he would love Hyunjin someday. It broke Yeonjun. Once again, someone didn't believe him. He stopped going to school after that. His aunt was worried about him. But he couldn't care. He kept thinking about his life. How could his life be a mess like this? He didn't know. Two weeks later he went back to school after his homeroom teacher called his aunt saying if he didn't have enough attendance, he wouldn't be able to sit the exams. When he got back, he found out that Soobin had left. His uncle had transferred him to Canada in the middle of the year. Yeonjun felt his heart ache, but surprisingly not because his soulmate had left him. But because Soobin didn't think of telling him. In the two weeks that he spent alone in his room, Yeonjun had come to terms with a few things.
  
      -- Yeonjun needed to suck up & end his highschool properly if he wanted to get out of this town.
      -- He didn't really like Soobin more than a friend. Soobin was his only friend, who knew him from his core. They had a bond, & Yeonjun had mistaken it as something else. Because Soobin's rejection didn't hurt him as much as it hurt him thinking that Hyunjin wouldn't want him.
      -- He liked Hyunjin. In a twisted toxic way.
  

   Life was full of surprises & shits. Just when Yeonjun had finally come to terms with his feelings, Hyunjin's 18th birthday came knocking on the door. In a grim way.
  
   Hyunjin was standing on the edge of the bridge. Heavy rain poured down on him as he stared down on the shiny black water of the lake. Yeonjun felt his heart on his mouth when he heard Hyunjin's suicidal thoughts. He remembered rushing out from his house in his pajamas in that heavy rain & running toward the only bridge in their area. He felt helpless & scared to lose the only person who mattered to him. He ran like a crazy person, tears falling from his eyes in fear. & When he reached his destination, he found the boy on his knees on the sidewalk, holding his head with both hands as he screamed at someone to stop. Yeonjun rushed closer to the boy & tried to hold him. But Hyunjin went hysterical at his touch, scared to death. Asking the voices inside his head to stop talking. Yeonjun didn't know how to block his mind, but still he tried not to think about anything. Hoping it would work. But Hyunjin was still screaming until he suddenly stopped & stared at Yeonjun with wide fearful eyes, something Yeonjun would never be able to forget. Hyunjin hastily got up, & ran away. Leaving Yeonjun in the pouring rain, worried & broken-hearted.
  



   "You look ugly when you cry..." Yeonjun teased as he cupped Hyunjin's tear stained face, gently wiping the tears that kept falling from his eyes. "Stop crying!" Yeonjun sighed, "You've cried enough. It's time for you to smile now..."
  
   But Hyunjin shook his head stubbornly, new batches of tears replacing the old ones.
  
   "I can't hear you!" Hyunjin cried out as he pressed Yeonjun's hand on his face more. Yeonjun felt his own eyes burn when Hyunjin finally looked straight at him.
  
   "I can't hear you hyung!"
  
   A small painful smile bloomed on his face, as he stared at the crying boy in front of him. He blinked a few times trying to stop his tears. But, in vain.
  
   "I know..." Yeonjun's voice came out weak, like a whisper. "I've known ever since I saw you on that bridge...." His lips wobbled as his breathing got heavier.
  
   "You're my soulmate, Hyunie..." a gentle smile tugged on his lips as he watched Hyunjin cry more at the statement. "But, I'm not yours..."
  
   & A single tear finally managed to escape from his eyes.
  
  




   "I was angry. I was devastated when I realized you'd never hear me. I wanted to rip the universe into pieces. I wanted to scream at you. For giving me hope." Yeonjun's single tear became two, then three then uncountable as he kept talking; hiccuping like a baby in between. "But it was never your fault. It is not your fault, Hyunjin."
  
   Hyunjin still apologized, again & again. & Yeonjun felt more tears pouring out from his eyes. He didn't know he still could cry after all these years.
  
   "I wanted to protect myself. From the pain of not having you. I wanted to prove to the universe that I can live without you. That you mean nothing to me!" He took a deep breath, still cradling Hyunjin's tearstained face. "I bullied you more when I saw you smiling alone on the rooftop. I felt jealous that you're smiling because of someone else, when it was supposed to be me. I felt robbed. & In return I hurt you again & again. Then I ran away like the coward I am, hoping to erase your existence from my mind. From my life."
  
   "I almost forgot you... Until I saw you again in that grocery shop, once again lost in your own world without any idea how bad I was breaking from inside from the moment my eyes landed on you. I felt the anger rising inside me again, burning me into a coal when I realized once again that you can't hear me.. you had no idea what I was feeling... & then..." Yeonjun chuckled, but it came out painfully. "I repeated the same mistake again. I hurt you. & It killed me more. I'm glad Seungmin was there. Or else, I didn't know what I would've done. But I knew whatever it would've been, it wouldn't let me live..."
  
   Yeonjun gently pulled the crying boy in his arms, not wanting to see the tears that he caused anymore.
  
   "I'm so glad that you've someone who can protect you now. I'm so happy now that I know you're in safe hands. I'm happy for you... from my heart... So, please... Please stop crying, okay?" Yeonjun dared to press a small loving kiss on the side of Hyunjin's head, making the latter's grip on his shirt tighten more.
  
   "I'm sorry, Hyunjin-ah... For everything..."
  
   Hyunjin, again, shook his head against his neck, & Yeonjun had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying again. How kind could this person be?
  
   "I need you to be happy. Forever." His arms tightened around the younger, who had long lost his voice due to crying. "I don't care who it is, as long as you're happy... So, don't make me hate myself more for making you cry again...."
  


&

  


   "You'll still be here, right?"
  
   Surprised, Yeonjun turned his head toward Hyunjin, who finally spoke after hours. After his confession hours ago, Hyunjin had stopped talking. He cried for a long time in Yeonjun's arms, & when he stopped he didn't let go of the elder's hand. Yeonjun wouldn't lie, this small action pulled every string of his heart. It wanted to make him hope again. But, he knew he couldn't. He decided to think of the time they had together as their last few hours together & live it as much as he could. He roamed around the city aimlessly once again, tugging a silent Hyunjin with him. He stopped every once in a while to taste the local street foods of Daegu with Hyunjin. & Hyunjin, he followed his every wish without a word. & Now when they were waiting for their bus to go back to Seoul, Hyunjin finally decided to talk.
  
   Yeonjun smiled when his brain registered the question. He looked down at his hands, which were busy connecting Hyunjin's dead phone to the portable charger that he bought a while ago.
  
   "As long as you want me to be" He simply answered before handing the devices to the younger boy.
  
   Hyunjin silently stared at his phone as the screen lit up with a green circle.
  
   "I want you to choose."
  
   Yeonjun frowned at that slightly.
  
   "It's your choice Hyunie, if you wan-"
  
   "No hyung..." Hyunjin interrupted him before looking up at him. "I want you to...think of you only... not about me"
  
   Yeonjun stared at the pretty eyes that he had learnt to love over the time. The eyes that were kind, now expressive & firm with what Hyunjin wanted.
  
   "I've always thought about myself..." Yeonjun's lips stretched into a gentle smile. "I was so busy thinking about saving myself from the heartache that I never cared about yours..."
  
   "But you've changed. You've learnt to come to terms with your feelings. & If You being here with me isn't the proof of it, i donno what else is Hyung." Hyunjin smiled at Yeonjun, one that was filled with gratitude. "I've found my happiness, hyung... I might still need to fight a few more battles with the cruel world in future... But, I know I found the ones who'll never leave me behind... So, now... please.. find your own happiness first...."
  
   What if my happiness is only you?
  
   "I need you to be happy. Genuinely."
  
   What if I tell you that It can only come from you?
  
   "You need to love yourself first, hyung... shake off the burden that you've been carrying all along..."
  
   I can only love you though.
   But I can't shake off the burden, the guilt when I'm with you. Even when I know you've forgiven me....
  


   The bus stopped in front of them. A few people stood in a single line to get inside, while they both sat back, staring at each other until Yeonjun looked away.
  
   He couldn't cry now. Not again, in front of Hyunjin.
  
   "Our bus is here!" He forced a smile on his lips. "Let's go!"
  
   He grabbed Hyunjin's hand & stood in the line. They were the last ones in the line. When it was their turn to get in, he pushed Hyunjin forward making him climb up first. But then, instead of getting inside, he stepped back from the door, letting it close. Hyunjin stared at him with wide eyes from the bus, not understanding why Yeonjun would do that. He tried to open the door when the older boy shook his head with a smile.
  
   "Let's meet again, Hyunjin-ah... When we're healed properly..."
  
   Yeonjun could see the way Hyunjin teared up once again, before taking a breath to calm down. The bus started. Yeonjun calmly waved at Hyunjin, & smiled when Hyunjin waved back with his shaky hand. He watched the vehicle take away the love of his life.
  
   As soon as the bus vanished from his view he let the tears fall once again. Cause, it hurt. More than he ever thought; to willingly giving up on the love that he had hid inside his heart for all these years. He wondered when the universe would take pity on him. When it would let him be happy. When would he feel free?
  
   Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket. With a big sigh, he lazily fished the device out. His brows shot up in surprise when he saw a text notification from Hyunjin.
  

   From: Hyunie
   I'll wait for you, Hyung...
  

   Yeonjun couldn't help but to let a happy smile bloom on his face. Of course, he had to meet Hyunjin. He had promised the younger boy. So, he'd fight the universe. No matter how long it would take him, he was gonna show that he could be happy too.
  


&

  


   Hyunjin felt his tears fall for the hundredth time in the last 24hours when Yeonjun's lean figure melted into the air in the distance. His heart felt heavy, more than it was when he came here without saying anything to anyone. He came here with locked baggage & now going back with them unlocked. Still he felt burdened.
  
   Was this the guilt? For wanting to leave everything behind? For not trusting his soulmates enough? For not even giving Jisung a chance to talk?
  
   When he walked out from Minho's apartment this morning, he wanted nothing but to erase their memories of him. He was hung up on his father's cruel words.
  


   "It could be a mistake, Hyunjin...
  
   Look at them, they were happy already... what if later... you realize you guys were only platonic soulmates...? Just like your mother & me?
  
   "You are lying!"
  
   "I'm not... we knew... yet I believed that my love was strong enough to keep her to me for my whole life... but I couldn't. You saw what had happened to us.. what it had turned me into..."
  
   "They won't do that to me!"
  
   "....but, what if you do that to them?"
  


   Hyunjin didn't know what to do. When he stepped out from the room he noticed a pattern. Everyone was standing in pairs. He, too, was in a pair with Seungmin, one who was also scared just like him with the same things. Weirdly, they matched a lot in that sense. It scared him more. What if his father was right? What if his love for every single one of them would ruin them in future? What if....
  

   He was scared. & Decided to flee like a coward. But now, when he saw Yeonjun, when he heard his cries he realized how wrong he was for trying to rob away his soulmates' chances to be happy. Because he could see the way Yeonjun had suffered all these years. Yeonjun knew he was never gonna get back the love he wanted to give Hyunjin.
  
   But, he didn't know that about his soulmates. Heck, he didn't know about anything for sure, yet he was about to rob off their chance to be happy. His chance to be happy. Hyunjin couldn't do that to them. He was gonna take the risk. Even if there was only a 1% chance of them all being happy together, Hyunjin was gonna try for that.
  
   He wasn't gonna abandon anyone.
  


******

  


   From: My Jinnie~
   My studio
  


   Jisung had never ran like this in his whole life. He was in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water when he got the text from Hyunjin. It didn't even cross his mind to inform the others before he ran out wearing a thin t-shirt which belonged to Felix, a striped pajama that belonged to Jeongin & a pair of blue slippers that belonged to Minho. The seven of them had decided to crash in Minho's apartment today. For some reason, they didn't seem to like to be apart from each other. Not even Seungmin. That boy barely said anything ever since they found out Hyunjin was gone. Jisung knew he was an emotional mess when it came to Hyunjin, but he realized that Seungmin wasn't really better than him. Heck, none of them were better than him. If it wasn't for Chan, Changbin & Minho's constant positivity, he was sure everyone would've been crying their eyes out.
  
   Jisung felt his lungs burn when he finally stopped in front of the studio. Heart pounding like drums in his ears, making him worried if Hyunjin would be able to hear it. He carefully took a step closer, not sure how to start the conversation once he'd open the door. He wasn't sure what to say now that he was standing outside the studio. All he could think was about the confession he made on the text earlier this noon.
  
   What if Hyunjin didn't like it?
   What if he was mad because Jisung confessed like this?
   What if Hyunjin didn't like Jisung anym-
  

   "Jisung?"
  
   The said boy flinched slightly at the familiar voice pulling him out of his mind. He immediately turned back only to see Hyunjin standing behind him with a surprised expression. As if he didn't expect Jisung here. Which was odd, because Hyunjin did send him a text, telling him about the studio.
  
   "You sent a text?" Jisung replied, which sounded like a question due to his confusion. It'd be really embarrassing if Hyunjin now said that he didn't send any text & Jisung just imagined all that shit because he was missing the artist like hell.
  
   But, to his relief Hyunjin slightly nodded, lips still parted in surprise. "I texted you when I got off the bus."
  
   Bus?
  
   "It took me 10minutes to walk here from the stop. I thought... it would take more time... for you to come here..." a faint blush suddenly spreaded all over Hyunjin's cheek, as he meekly explained everything. & Jisung felt weak. This was the first time they were having a civil talk after they met again in university. & Hyunjin still had the habit of blushing when he explained anything to Jisung. He wanted to poke those soft cheeks like he used to when they were kids. He wanted to see if Hyunjin still reacted the same.
  
   But, that could wait. He had other things to worry about.
  
   "Where did you go?"
  
   Jisung surprised himself with the question. He didn't mean to ask so directly, but as always his mouth ran before he could think properly. Hyunjin, on the other hand, averted his eyes from Jisung. As if he was guilty of something.
  
   "Uhm... Daegu.."
  
   Jisung couldn't help but to inhale a large amount of air. Hyunjin really left the city without telling anyone anything. Suddenly he felt scared. What if Hyunjin hadn't come back?
  
   "I went to see my mom..."
  
   Jisung's train of negative thoughts stopped at that.
  
   Mrs. Hwang?
  
   Jisung cleared his throat quietly.
  
   "How... how is she?"
  
   Hyunjin's face dropped slightly.
  
   "I hope she's happy...now that she's in a better place......"
  
   Oh...
  





   They settled inside Hyunjin's studio when the artist noticed what Jisung was wearing. He kinda made a fuss that Jisung was gonna get sick & gave his own jacket for the latter to wear. & Jisung could only grin at that. Too happy with the outcome. Because, Hyunjin was being cute. The way he was lowkey scolding Jisung for walking out on a cold night just wearing a t-shirt & pajama pants was adorable.
  

   "Jinnie, I'm fineeeeee" he drawled in a singsong voice, making Hyunjin look at him with an unimpressed frown.
  
   "Okay, I knew I should've brought something else with me to wear, but really..." Jisung looked at Hyunjin, who still had a frown on his forehead. "I really couldn't think much when I got your text."
  
   Hyunjin looked surprised, before suddenly he looked away with a red hue dusting on his face.
  
   "I shouldn't have texted you" the artist grumbled in a low voice, & Jisung was about to protest but Hyunjin interrupted him.
  
   "But... I didn't want to wait anymore... Nor, I wanted to make you wait more than I already have..." Hyunjin was now looking at his hand, while Jisung could only stare at him.
  
   "Yeah... you did make me wait a lot..."
  
   Hyunjin bit his lips, hard.
  
   "I'm sorry..."
  
   Jisung frowned. He didn't say that to make Hyunjin apologize! He just said that without thinking much!
  
   "Hey! You don't need to-"
  
   "I do need to, Sung." Hyunjin sounded firm, so for now the other decided to listen to the artist even though he didn't want Hyunjin to apologize for anything.
  
   "I'm sorry that I couldn't be a good friend to you. I lied to you when we were kids. I'm sorry for snapping at you when you were just worried about me."
  
   "You should think about yourself"
  
   "I'm sorry that I lied again when we met, when I found out who you were to me.. I was just scared... & I didn't want to ruin what you & Minho hyung had..." Hyunjin's eyes were burning badly, so was Jisung's, but for a different reason.
  
   "I'm sorry for pushing you away. For not giving us a chance. For making you worry & wait for so long... I'm really sorry.."
  
   Jisung blinked furiously to stop the tears that were trying to come out. When he came here, he definitely didn't think that Hyunjin would be the one to apologize. If anything, he wanted to apologize first. For everything that made the other scared & insecure to take the first step toward him. But, hearing Hyunjin now... he realized that he needed this too. He wasn't any better than the taller boy in front of him. He had his own share of fear & insecurities too. He was hurt too, when Hyunjin barely looked at him from the beginning of their university life. But, that idiot... his Jinnie, needed to know that it wasn't only him who was feeling guilty & regretful of his actions. Jisung was feeling the same, if not more.
  
   "I'm sorry too" Jisung's voice was just above whisper, loud enough for Hyunjin to look up at him with his tearful eyes. Jisung felt his heart ache seeing Hyunjin like this. A sudden realization hit him at that moment.
  
   Jisung had missed years of Hyunjin growing up. While he found himself a great family, Hyunjin had been alone, most probably crying his eyes out without anyone to comfort him. He didn't even know how Hyunjin had taken his disappearance back then. Did he cry like this back then too?
  
   "I'm sorry for disappearing without saying anything. I'm sorry for leaving you alone." Jisung felt his voice break at the end of the sentence as he watched tears falling from Hyunjin's red eyes.
  
   "I've waited for you...everyday."
  
   Jisung felt his breath hitch hearing that. Of course, Hyunjin would do something like that.
  
   "I'm sorry...for not going back..." Jisung's eyes became blurry with tears. "I'm sorry for making you wait... I'm sorry for... all the troubles I've caused you... for making you think that I don't want you in my life anymore... for making you scared to approach us... for saying shits without thinking much...." Jisung felt his throat closing up on him as he tried to keep talking. Hyunjin once again looked down at his lap, shoulder shaking slightly hinting that he was crying. Jisung stumbled on his feet as he got up from where he was sitting. He took a step forward, then another, until he was merely a foot away from the crying boy in front of him.
  
   "Hyunjin, look at me" Jisung gently cupped the other's face, coaxing him to look up. But Hyunjin only shook his head as he kept crying. "Jinnie, please baby..." Jisung tried again, & this time Hyunjin listened to him.
  
   Jisung always knew Hyunjin was special to him. He always knew what he felt for Hyunjin wasn't something that one should feel for their friend. He knew he was doomed the moment he recognized these pretty eyes & plump lips in the dance studio a year ago. He was just a moth, & Hyunjin was his fire, drawing him closer without even knowing anything. He knew he was a goner when he watched Seungmin kiss Hyunjin that night. He felt like someone had ripped his heart away from him when the thought of Hyunjin never looking back at him crossed his mind. He was so scared to lose something that he didn't even have. But here he was now, holding the person he wanted to have for so long now.
  
   Was it really this easy to reach out to Hyunjin? To touch him again? To apologize for everything? Was he really scared for nothing?
  
   Hyunjin had always been pretty in Jisung's eyes. Even now, when he had swollen-red-rimmed eyes, tear stains all over his flushed face & slightly cracked lips. His dark orbs shined like black pearls as he looked up at Jisung through his long lashes. Jisung couldn't help but smile thinking how lucky he was to have someone like Hyunjin.
  
   "I may not be the best for you now, Jinnie... But I will be. & I promise you...I'm not gonna leave you alone again..." Jisung smiled through his tears when Hyunjin held his hands tightly. "I've loved you for a long time now."
  
   He felt Hyunjin's breath hitch.
  
   "I loved you when we were kids, running in the playground holding hands. I loved you when you said you'd follow me anywhere with that cute smile of yours. I loved you when you said you loved me wholeheartedly. I loved you when I wasn't even with you..." Jisung caressed Hyunjin's cheeks lovingly, smiling brightly when Hyunjin melted against his touch. "& I still love you, the way you are. I know, I'm late. I'm an idiot who can't think before I run my mouth. I'm loud, & messy for which Minho hyung often threatens to disown me"
  
   They both couldn't help but to laugh at that.
  
   "I'm serious." He chuckled. "He really wanted to throw me out of his place once at the beginning. So, I need you to stop him if he does that again, okay?" Jisung's grin widened when Hyunjin nodded immediately.
  
   "But what if he throws me out too?" Hyunjin asked in a small curious voice. Jisung pretended to think for a second, before he tsked with a funny face.
  
   "That hyung is way too whipped for you to do that! Talk about favoritism!" Jisung pouted, which soon turned into a smile when Hyunjin laughed at him. & He looked beautiful. Jisung realized he liked it. Making Hyunjin smile. It made him happy.
  
   So, he made a silent promise to himself to make this boy smile for the rest of his life & leaned down to capture those plump pretty lips with his own. Surprised, Hyunjin yelped at first, but made no move to push Jisung away. Instead, his hands found their ways to Jisung's t-shirt & gripped it tightly as Jisung deepened the kiss.
  
   It was anything but innocent. Something Jisung never thought their first kiss would be like. Before, whenever he thought of kissing Hyunjin for the first time, he always imagined it to be a simple & innocent kiss, a shy touch of their lips. But now, when he was finally able to kiss the boy he couldn't stop himself. He felt the years of longing pouring into the kiss, from both him & Hyunjin. & The way Hyunjin was holding onto him wasn't really helping Jisung either. He only angled Hyunjin's head gently, before deepening the kiss more, until a soft whimper escaped from Hyunjin's lips, finally breaking them off.
  
   Hyunjin was flushed in bright red from his neck to his ear tips. Jisung wasn't any better. But they didn't shy away from the smiles that bloomed on their lips, assuring them it was okay. They were more than okay.
  


******

  


   Meeting with the rest was a dramatic scene. When they went back to Minho's place that night, Jeongin was the first one to open the door for them & threw himself on Hyunjin, almost knocking them both to the ground. Jisung couldn't help but emit a hearty laugh which drew the attention of other occupants of the apartment. Much to Jisung's dismay, they immediately snatched Hyunjin from his side & started to scold & pamper the taller boy at the same time. It was a sight to see. All eight of them together.
  

   It wasn't until late at night, when Hyunjin found Seungmin sitting alone on the balcony with a thin blanket over his frame as he stared at the night sky solemnly.
  

   "Can't sleep?"
  
   Seungmin flinched slightly, not expecting Hyunjin to be awake at this time of the night.
  
   "Just a lot of things in my mind..." Seungmin scooted over to make for Hyunjin to sit. The artist took the offer & snuggled closer to Seungmin who gladly shared the blanket with the other.
  
   "Same thing as before?" Hyunjin stole a glance at the other as he made himself comfortable under the blanket. A small smile bloomed on his face when he saw Seungmin nod after a bit of hesitation.
  
   "Y'know it's so unlike you to overthink about something. But, I get you. This isn't something that you can easily shrug off." Hyunjin leaned on Seungmin, resting his head on the other's shoulder. "I couldn't do it either. & I wanted to run away so badly."
  
   That seemed to catch Seungmin's attention. Hyunjin could feel the other looking at him, waiting for him to continue.
  
   "My dad." Hyunjin sighed, already feeling tired thinking about the said person. "He said something before he left."
  
   "I knew I shouldn't have left you alone with him." Seungmin immediately grumbled, quite irritated with the fact.
  
   Hyunjin hummed. "Yeah, but it's good that I got to talk with him one last time. Civilly. I didn't really want to remember him as-" Hyunjin stopped himself in time. "Y'know, right?"
  
   Seungmin stayed silent for a few seconds before he nodded slightly, most probably thinking about his father's alcoholic nature. Hyunjin didn't really have the energy or mental strength to tell the others about the incident yet. He hoped to tell the others someday in the near future, when he wouldn't feel like shit anymore, when he would've healed properly. For now, he decided to stick with what he was planning to say in the beginning.
  
   "My mom & him, they were just platonic soulmates who fell in love with passing times..." Hyunjin started as he remembered his father explaining, "Apparently, my mom fell out of love a long time ago. But she still tried to be with my dad. But, she made a mistake. She had me, with her other soulmate & couldn't say anything until I was twelve."
  
   Hyunjin remembered vividly how his parents argued the night before his mom left. They were screaming at each other, blaming one another for reasons Hyunjin could barely understand. Then everything stopped when his mother asked for a divorce.
  
   "My mom left. & It broke my dad to the point that he changed into a different person. A person I came to despise as I grew up." Hyunjin felt a dull ache in his chest as his father's actions & behaviors of all these years flashed behind his eyes one by one. But soon was brought back to present when he received a gentle squeeze from Seungmin on his hand. A gesture to show that he was okay now. Hyunjin was grateful for that.
  
   "I still don't know why my real father didn't want me, or why my mom never tried to get me back. All I know, the person I knew as my father wasn't my father anymore. He stopped caring about me. He hated me, because I looked like my mom."
  
   Hyunjin remembered the first heavy slap he received from his father.
  
   "Don't show me your face!"
  
   "My mom leaving, broke us in different ways. My father... he still blames my mom for what he had turned into.. he blames my mom for his actions.. &.. He told me..." he took a deep breath, "I might be like my mother.... Who might ruin his soulmates in the future..."
  

   "...but what if you do that to them?"
  

   Suddenly Hyunjin was pushed into a sitting position & facing a frowning Seungmin. "Don't believe him! You know how much we love you, don't you? You could never hurt us!"
  
   Hyunjin smiled at that.
  
   "That's the thing, Minnie. We never know what lies ahead. Our future is still uncertain. Just like you think of your future with others."
  
   Seungmin pressed his lips in a thin line.
  
   "I know my father was wrong. He can't measure everyone & every situation with his experience. But he was right too when he said we could be taking a big risk. You have the same fear, don't you?"
  
   Seungmin didn't reply. He kept staring at their entangled hands silently.
  
   "While I was in Daegu, someone made me realize that I could be making a big mistake by wanting to run away in fear of getting hurt & hurting others. Because, I'd be hurting you all if I didn't come back" Hyunjin caressed the back of Seungmin's pale hands, and smiled at how soft the skin felt under his fingertips.
  
   "I realized, some people don't have the luxury to be loved back by their loved ones. While some people do, but don't know how to value it. Unfortunately, I happen to fall in the second category. I wanted to save myself from the heartbreak that I didn't even know if that was in my future or not. I was running away, like a coward. But... I realized that love doesn't always necessarily come from your romantic soulmates. Love has so many forms, we just can't see it. Love can happen anytime, any moment, with any one. Sometimes, it takes a single glance."
  
   Changbin hyung...
  
   "And, sometimes it takes years."
  
   Jisung...
  
   "Sometimes you'll find love in people you never have thought of before."
  
   Felix & Chan hyung...
  
   "Sometimes it'll come to you disguised in coldness, but then bathe into warmness only"
  
   Minho hyung...
  
   "Sometimes you'll find love in the most innocent & loveable smile...
  
   Jeongin...
  
   "And," He looked up, & locked his eyes with Seungmin. "Sometimes, love will come to you as friendship, slowly making you realize that you want to spend your whole life with them..."
  
   Just like you Minnie...
  

   "I don't wanna run away anymore, Minnie. I wanna take the risk of loving you all, even if there's only a 1% chance of getting the same love back from you guys. I trust you, I trust them. Enough to believe that even if we find out that we have platonic soulmates between us, we can work it out somehow. Maybe it'll hurt, more than a little. Maybe we'll argue & scream at each other. But at the end of the day, I know we can trust each other not to fall."
  
   Hyunjin felt a lot lighter now that he said it all out. The burden he felt when he was coming back had vanished as soon as he poured out all his feelings to Seungmin. He felt he could finally breathe now that he accepted everything. & He hoped Seungmin could accept it too. He didn't want the other to make a decision at once, but he wanted the other to trust them so that he wouldn't hesitate to take a step in or out from the relationship that the universe had put them into.
  
   "You don't need to force yourself into anything, Minnie. None of us would want that. All I want is for you not to feel scared to approach us, or talk to us in any matter. I can promise you..." Hyunjin caressed Seungmin's face gently, "We won't disappoint you... nor you could ever disappoint us."
  
   Hyunjin felt his smile widen when Seungmin exhaled in relief, as if a heavy rock was removed from his chest. & He couldn't be happier when Seungmin smiled at him, a small one but genuine, as he nodded toward the artist.
  


   "So, are you gonna accept me now?
  
   Hyunjin's brows shot up in confusion as he couldn't understand the sudden change in topic. Seungmin chuckled at that lightly.
  
   "I asked you to be my boyfriend, didn't I?"
  
   Oh...
  
   "& You've turned me down verrryyy brutality..."
  
   Uhmmm...
  
   "So, what do you say now?" Seungmin tilted his head cutely, making Hyunjin chuckle softly.
  
   But before he could answer, a chaos interrupted them, which turned out to be their other soulmates arguing over how Seungmin was trying to take away all of Hyunjin's firsts one by one, & Chan trying to stop them. It didn't take them long to realize that these idiot soulmates of theirs had been listening to them all along & only causing chaos when Seungmin asked Hyunjin out. The artist felt himself flushing red with the shameless attention & confession he was getting, while Seungmin only smirked before pulling Hyunjin by his neck & kissing the latter on his lips claiming this was their boyfriend deal being sealed. Needless to say, it only caused the chaos to double.
  
   & In the middle of that If anyone heard Jisung trying to plot Seungmin's murder, they didn't really mention it to the Yonsei boy. For their own peace of mind.
  


*******

  

Epilogue

  




   "I can't see!" Hyunjin whined again as the sunlight directly fell over his face. He could hear Changbin chuckling at his continuous whining before angling the artist's head on his lap.
  
   "Is it better?" Changbin's voice came out gentle & soft, unlike a while ago when he teasingly yelled at Jisung, who never missed a chance to bother the older. Hyunjin tried to open his eyes only to shut it close in a millisecond with a big pout on his lips. But then suddenly a shadow casted over his eyes, as if someone had pushed the sun away from his face. Curious, he tried to open his eyes once again, only to see Changbin's smiling face in his view as the older man blocked the sun perfectly.
  
   A sweet smile stretched on Hyunjin's lips.
  
   "Hi, hyung.."
  
   Changbin's eyes softened at that.
  
   "Hey, baby.."
  

   Their sweet moment suddenly got interrupted by a loud shriek from Jisung who jumped up on his feet & started to shake his shirt vigorously. While, Felix was just behind him, laughing like a maniac with a cold water bottle in his hand. Jisung narrowed his eyes at the Australian boy & suddenly grabbed another cold water bottle from the case & started running toward Felix who was already running away.
  
   "JUST YOU WAIT, AUSTRALIAN CAT! IMMA GET YOU & POUR THE WHOLE BOTTLE ON YOU!"
  
   But Felix didn't seem to care about that & only laughed at the other making Jisung speed up more.
  


   "& They say I'm the child between the eight of us!" Jeongin rolled his eyes at his hyungs childish blunter. "You guys are worse than that little kid in our neighborhood." Then suddenly he looked on his left when he got no comment from their eldest, only to find Chan taking selfies where the software guessed his age by his face. Apparently, Chan wasn't happy because the bitchass app showed his age as 43. Jeongin couldn't stop laughing as he fell on his back, enjoying the situation way too much to the older's liking.
  
   "Yah Jeongin! What are you laughing at?!" There was a visible pout on Chan's lips making him look cute. But still Jeongin couldn't stop the laugh that had him down on the mat. After trying a lot, he finally stopped laughing after a while & sat beside Chan again. The older one was once again busy with the app, but this time instead of holding a V-sign he tried to act cute. Jeongin watched in both, horror & amusement as Chan blew his cheeks round & hesitantly poked the left one with his index finger. Then he clicked the photo. Jeongin curiously peeked over Chan's shoulder, as the photo was loading. One second, they both were staring at the screen with wide eyes, & the next second Jeongin was once again on his back, laughing historically while Chan looked like his life span had reduced by at least ten years.
  
   "Hyung! Even the software knows that you're old!" Jeongin cackled like the evil maknae that he was. Chan huffed in a defeated manner before pulling the youngest up & thrusting the phone on the latter's hands.
  
   "You try!"
  
   Jeongin snickered at that, pretty confident that he's gonna get a younger age since he was the maknae. As he posed for the photo with his cute smile & a finger poking on his cheek, Changbin & Hyunjin came closer to see the result.
  
   "He's gonna get a younger age, I'm sure" Hyunjin said confidently, while Changbin shook his head saying how they couldn't trust a software. & True to his words, the software showed the result as 33. All of them erupted in loud laughter while Jeongin sat there with wide unbelieving eyes. Needless to say, he got his own medicine when Hyunjin ran off to tell the others about the whole ordeal & all of them started laughing at him. & Soon they all started trying the app one by one, & got the shock of their life when Changbin got the lowest age number between all of them.
  
   15!
  


  
   "Yah, Kim Seungmin! Get up!"
  
   Minho had this weird relationship with Seungmin, & these two would be fighting like a divorced couple any chance they got. Just like now. Minho was minding his own business as he was packing everything after their snack break when Seungmin suddenly laid down on the blanket like a starfish.
  
   "I'm tired," Seungmin replied halfheartedly. But before Minho could chase his tiredness away, Chan & Felix also joined them on the blanket. Minho should've been on all of their necks for not listening to him, but weirdly, not surprisingly, he only started to poke Seungmin to get up. Which ended up with both of them arguing like the divorced couple that they were. They were pretty funny during these times. Bothering each other with blank faces & ending up with Seungmin fleeing the area in fear of being Minho's victim.
  
   There was another weird pair in them, & unsurprisingly, Seungmin was also in that pair. It was Seungmin & Felix. Unlike the divorced couple, they keep bickering light-heartedly by calling each other funny names. Their bickering would start with Seungmin calling Felix a chicken & would end with Felix ranting on their group chat calling Seungmin a dog, to which Seungmin found pretty amusing & end up teasing the Australian boy more.
  


   Hyunjin picked up a new hobby two years ago & it was still going strong. He liked clicking photos, especially his soulmates'. He even had multiple albums in his room, all filled with countless photographs of the other seven, who were currently unaware of him sneaking their photos once again. He loved keeping memories, even if some came out blurred, he'd paste those in his albums with a smile. & It often earned him whines from the others, saying they looked weird in those photos. But Hyunjin didn't mind having those. Because, blurred or not, they were still his memories. Besides, there were a few who didn't like to be photographed. Just like the one who just came into his camera frame.
  


   "Hyung! Look here!"
  
   Minho didn't think much when he turned back at Hyunjin's call. But instantly regretted it when the shutter of the camera went off, capturing his confused expression.
  
   "Jinnie! What did I say about taking photos?!" He yelled out from his spot as he folded the towel on his hand before placing it on the basket.
  
   "You look good, hyung! I promise!" Hyunjin laughed from a distance, but soon shrieked out loudly when Minho suddenly got up & dashed toward him. He turned back hastily & ran, hoping not to get caught by Minho. In the distance, he could see Chan, Felix & Jeongin laughing at him instead of trying to help him, while Seungmin had a look that said " you brought it upon yourself". Even Changbin was staring at him with a look of pity, which soon turned amused as Minho grabbed Hyunjin from behind & picked him up from ground, causing another loud shriek emit from Hyunjin's plump lips.
  

   "You think you can escape from me?" Minho raised an eyebrow, challenging Hyunjin when the latter struggled to break free from the strong arms around him.
  
   "Who said I want to escape?" Hyunjin said in a sweet voice, batting his long eyelashes at the older whose lips curled up in an amused smile. Hyunjin yelped when Minho tightened his hold around him, bringing him closer. The younger boy suddenly flushed at the proximity between them, but didn't avert his eyes away from Minho's sharp ones.
  
   From a distance they could hear Jisung's voice, yelling something about getting a room, while Changbin was yelling that they had a child here. & The said child retorted back that he was already 22. But, they could barely care about that when they were lost in a different world.
  
   "So, from the scale of 10 to 10, how handsome did I look there?"
  
   Hyunjin laughed at his hyung's confidence. Pink hue still sitting on his cheeks, proudly showing Minho how much he could affect the younger just with a hug.
  
   "You don't look handsome." Hyunjin laughed more when Minho gave him a look.
  
   "You look pretty..." Hyunjin's voice came out low as the pink on his cheek darkened with his little confession.
  
   Minho smirked at that & pulled the boy closer until their lips were on the verge of touching.
  
   "How about now?" Minho asked in a low voice, sending a shiver down Hyunjin's spine. He felt the red on his face spread to his neck as he answered the older.
  
   "Still Pretty."
  
   Minho couldn't help but to smile at the boy in his arms.
  
   "But not as much as you..." he whispered back before leaning close until their lips met in a gentle kiss, which soon was followed by multiple voices hooting at them.
  

&

  

   Four years into the relationship. Lots of ups & downs, worries & insecurities. Unlimited support, trust & love. All had been there, shaping their present & working on their future. Sometimes Hyunjin would sit in front of his empty canvases, thinking of how far they came, how far they could go. He'd paint their future in vibrant colors, hoping to live them someday in future. & The memories, he'd capture them in photographs & would keep them in his albums. Those photographs were the witness of their beginning, their struggles & their blooming love. Those tiny little pieces of papers were proof of the growth of their relationship.
  
   They weren't always perfect. Sometimes the photos would come out blurry, sometimes it would come out clear, just like their relationship. They had their moments when everything felt blurry & confusing around them, then they also had moments when everyone would be transparent about their feelings & walk side by side through everything. Hyunjin still didn't know what the future held for them, but he was still determined to trust them. To him, they were his home. They were like fresh breath, keeping him alive. They were his happiness. They were everything that Hyunjin could ever want.
  
   & Now, he knew that he wouldn't have it any other way.
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&

  
  
   Yeonjun couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on his face as he stumbled upon Hyunjin's Instagram. The artist had uploaded a bunch of photos once again, all of his soulmates who most probably went on a picnic, according to the background of the photos. He couldn't help but to snicker when he noticed all of them were wearing white & blue colored dresses, matching with each other.
  
   "What are you smiling at?"
  
   He handed his phone to Soobin, who started cooing how cute Hyunjin & soulmates were looking. & Then started to complain how bland Yeonjun was on their dates & how he never took him on a picnic date in this one year of them dating. Yeonjun rolled his eyes at the complaints, but couldn't hide the traitorous smile from his boyfriend even though he tried his best.
  
   "Stop annoying me" Yeonjun said halfheartedly when he got caught.
  
   "Hyung, we've been dating for a year now. You still wanna act like you don't find me cute?" Soobin deadpanned, clearly done with his boyfriend's weird antic's.
  
   "Who said I find you cute?" He raised an eyebrow, to which Soobin smirked. The older boy immediately regretted saying that, knowing well what Soobin was gonna say.
  
   "You. Last year when you asked me ou-"
  
   "Okay, okay! I get it!" Yeonjun's neck turned pink, clearly embarrassed remembering his funny confession to the younger. "Stop bringing it up every chance you get!" He grumbled cutely before taking an aggressive sip from his lemonade. While he was busy regretting his life choices, he failed to notice when the younger boy stole a few photos of him & giggled over how cute he looked.
  
   & He certainly didn't notice when Soobin uploaded the photo on his profile.
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   Chapter End Notes
   So, this is it!
   Thanks for staying with me in the whole journey ьщьъ it has been a long ride, & actually I'm gonna miss writing this fic now that I'm finally done with it...
   I do have some fics that I'm currently working on-
   & Hyunsung Mad king
& Hyunho Dancer fic
& Frankenstein fic fest
& Seungjin Fic sequel (Sick Hyunjin one)
   You can drop by my twitter (@chanestry) if you want wips or update of these!
  
  

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