For those of you who call themselves die-hard Buffy fans no explanation is needed. As for the rest of you, well, read on, enjoy and try to make sense if you wish...
It is Buffy and Angel all over again with me and you. I always loved Buffy and wanted to be just like her. You, you are just an Angel, in all possible senses of the word. Sometimes you are Angel and then I love you and melt and want to cuddle you and protect you and be with you for the rest of my life. But other times, you are clean-cut Angelius and I hate you, mad at you, can't stand even being in the same room with you. Then, I want to hurt you more then you hurt me. I want to through sharper words at you then you through at me. Think of it, you don't even need a moment of "complete happiness" to make you turn into Angelius. Or do you?
One day I feel like Buffy. Another day, I am changing into Darla. Yeah, right, then I am turning into your own sire Darla, your passion and your damnation. There is another "Buffy" around, so I have to become Darla. I am still close to you then. But that "Buffy", she takes you away from me. I will never be able to walk her walk or talk her talk. I will never be able to reach your soul as she does. She is unattainable for you though, just like the real Buffy. She has her mortal love and she is settled with it. Or is she? Sometimes I think she is not settled with her life at all.
I can see eternal hunger in her eyes. I can feel her desire to jump, to change everything, if only she had a chance, if only she had a chance with you. But she doesn't and you both know that. Or does she? I am always in doubt. I am always worried. No wonder, I can become bloodthirsty, monstrous Darla just on spur of the moment. I see you two together, in the same room and I get lost. I become invisible. I become one odd out. You can understand each other without words. You have so much history. Even our centuries together do not compare to the depth and importance of the ties that connect two of you.
Then, there are times when you are all mine. In those times it is all about fire, passion, eternal time, eternal flame and never ending spring. In those times you are different. Your eyes sparkle, your skin glows and your appetite is unsatisfiable, when you are with me. We talk into the nights and then we talk some more. We love into late mornings and then we love some more. We can fly. We don't see anybody else. Nothing bothers us. Then we return to earth.
It's the story of Angel, Buffy and Darla too. I am third one out again. I hate being that. I hate her and I hate you when you are with her. I will always worry and always suspect. May be you will never cross the line. May be it's all in my head. But, honey, I am not blind. I can see your eyes. I can see her eyes. I can see those half-smiles and can hear unfinished sentences. I can see anger in her man's eyes and can feel the pain in my heart. It has to mean something, doesn't it?
Sometimes I think you are with me because you can't be with "Buffy". I am second best available. No, honey, I am not. If you made me into Darla, Darla I'll be
You will always be `almost here'. You will always desire the unreachable. I will always feel it. But hey, at the end of the day it was Darla who had Angel's son, wasn't it? She died straight after giving birth to the boy, though. Is that my end? Is that our love's end? Who knows.