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  what i see is a crystal mountain standing on top of the endless river of time
  
  instead of ice it's crowned with fire and golden-lit with sunlight passing through
  
  i'm lost fading at its foot on my knees overjoyed with primal ecstasy
  
  i'm a nuclear warhead on my way down a suicide bomber a living knot of energy a pure star of flesh and bone
  
  river water is warm like a lover's embrace carries me carefully away from the crowd
  
  bonfires on the bank sounds of celebration rhythmic thudding of the drums fade away into sterile pure blackness of the cosmic night that neglects the borders of time
  
  laguz the one sided arrow marks my direction lures me away out of the mind and logic into the bestial world of overwhelming sensations i'm so used to rely on
  
  crystal webbing traps the gentle glint on the tip of my smoke in reflection
  
  web is magic the craft of connections and patterns invisible only for as long as it's empty
  
  far away down the river ancient gathering starts another sort of bonfires disturbing my shapeless form of absolute freedom in-between the man and the beast that i drift in enjoying myself for a mere blink of time as i slowly awaken my senses
  
  like a sole tiny pilot in a huge space vessel designed to cross endless pits between galaxies checking the systems in quiet and peace
  
  solitude sweet like mead warmth from the sun-soaked soil beneath me soft caress of wild flowers against naked skin still wet from the river
  
  i'm the moonborn staring through the fiery night of the sun i peek through time and lay down roads on its body i commune with the ghosts seek the guidance of ancient spirits lingering there at the bottom of the great river tangible yet invisible
  
  i'm the delight of a predator picking up the scent of prey i'm the great demon spawner crafting each servant with care like a beloved child
  
  the omnipotent omnipresent stare of the sun pierces through all the matter lying between us to greet and embrace me with its fearful fierce passion that nestles within my ribcage into a tiny gentle coil of the serpent reassuringly warming my very marrow
  
  every step i make every breath i take is directed by it & towards it & that is the essence of all things
  
  deep down the night we celebrate we bathe in blood of shredded prey we pray in howls and empty stares that we exchange to form an invisible web for the shattered pieces of minds to wander glistening dimly under the warm starlight of the night sky letting them melt weld together into a single hive entity a network of sparkles scattered amidst the thick blades of ripe grass yet entangled extending each other to reach the searing white core
  
  this is not a place for the dead cos it knows no death the very notion of time and finiteness is alien for it as it's eternal in its youth it pierces time shreds matter into ash and cinder reworks it into raw material to sculpt the forms we generate from
  
  at the foot of the crystal mountain i am the wanderer bound to ascend to reach the top a perfect spot to observe the landscape from and to grasp its wholeness for a mere blink of an eye before it slips away slips through me as absolute as cosmic rays
  
  i am the translator my job is to translate to store and shoot to focus and launch like a laser to leave living shadows on concrete walls
  
  i am the transfixer my job is to catch and depict caging the shadows within the walls for eternity
  
  i am the beholder my job is to keep my eyes on the endless intricate dance of the shadows looking for a relief release revolve recycle
  
  i am the trembling light of a candle shy breeze in the deepest crystal cave far away
  
  i am collective seamless endless omnipresent praised be the sun cos there's nothing above and beyond
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