Кузнецов Дмитрий Юрьевич : другие произведения.


Самиздат: [Регистрация] [Найти] [Рейтинги] [Обсуждения] [Новинки] [Обзоры] [Помощь|Техвопросы]

 Ваша оценка:
  • Аннотация:
    The Christian prays, asks help from Jesus, gets the forgiveness.. (English version)

Actors and characters:

*True Chiristian (TC), http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tartuffe.jpg
*God . http://j.knoertzer.free.fr/affiche%20jean%20effel.jpg
*Mephistopheles . http://mfirsanov.deviantart.com/art/MEPHISTOPHEL-62018271
*Mohammed . First pic at http://www.zombietime.com/mohammed_image_archive/jyllands-posten_cartoons/Mohammed-drawings.jpg
*Moses . Barely distinguishable from Mohammed.
*Jesus . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YPDXmEsQtQ
*Director . Very official and formal. http://www.ljplus.ru/img3/i/v/ivonn/Karabas-Barabas.JPG
*Animators, Orphans . Attractive girls; after to be mentioned, they may appear and dance at the background, dropping their staff around. No need to give a link: Internet is full of sexy orphans.
*Animators, Martyrs . Stainless-steal-like men; after to be mentioned, they appear at the background and help each other to wear and arrange their weapon. Again, no need to provide a link, there are a lot of patriotic posters around.

TC (prays): Our Father, who art in heaven!
God (appears): Hello?
TC (afraid): Ah? Who is there?
God: Whom did you call? That's me.
TC (making the sign of the cross): Oh, God!
God:What do you want?
TC :Oh Father, did you indeed heart the pray of your modest slave..
God (to himself): Since the Beginning, none of them talks normally..
TC : Oh, Father Almighty, allow me to make a pray in favor of your Great Glory..
God (to himself): What a toady...
TC : Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name... Thy kingdom come...
God (to himself): Again, as a Millennium ago...
TC : Allow me to talk, saying the words from all the deepness of my heart..
God (Yawning): So many words for nothing...
TC : Give me this day my daily bread and some manna to enable me to glorify your name..
God (interrupts): shortly, what do you want from me?
TC : Some money...
God: How about a thunderstorm for your piggy ass?
TC : Sorry.. I understand... I wanted to help orphans..
Orphans appear.
God: I know, sexy orphans love your support.
TC (watches the animators; then makes the sign of the cross): My fault.. Sorry... Forgive me.. Satan seduced me..
God (to the side): Mefe, did you hear that this orthodox blames on you?
Mephistopheles (appears): They all say the same. I already have a pool of them... (disappears)
TC (making the signs of the cross): Oh, God!.. Forgive me... I just wanted to bring the people the true knowledge, to support the struggle against all the enemies of the True Christianity, to destroy all the evil muslims...
God (to the side): Mehmet, how do you like him?
Mohammed (appears): Salam, orthodox... (to God) Normal son of slaves. Mefisto told, nothing special. Only if Moses gets interested... (disappears)
TC (Looking up, making the signs of the cross, hopeless): Oh, Jesus!.. Your power has no limits, help me...
Jesus(appears): Dad, forgive this poor man.
TC (surprised): Oh, Jesus!
God : They say "Oh, Jesus!" or "Oh, fuck!", or "Oh, shit!", without to make any difference..
Jesus (interrupts): Dad, this was your fault, you created them so. Let us help them.
God : Shut up, Jesse; once you tried to help. Weren't you punished well that time?
Mephistopheles (from outside): Allah! Jesus! What are you doing there? leave that Christian, let us enjoy Gaza. Martyrs are ready...
TC (afraid): Oh, Jesus!
Jesus: Poor sinner, you still understand nothing. Sorry, we should go, Mohammed and Mephistopheles wait for the next round of the Gaza Strip Tease.
TC : Oh, Jesus!
God (gradually increasing volume, until the reverberation of the building): He repeats, as a robot! One day I'll reboot all their world! I gave them brain, expecting, that they can solve some problems by themselves..
Jesus (interrupts God with hug and kiss): Dad, calm down. Let us go.
TC (making the signs of the cross): Oh, God! forgive me!
God (gently escaping from the hug of Jesus): Go and do not sin again. Bye! (disappears, together with Jesus; Animators disappear during his last words)


The last scene should be improvisation. The Orphans and Martyrs had no time to collect all their stuff, so, TC may pick up these objects, expose them to the spectators, asking, wether these are from God; tries to wear a suicide jacket or a bra; calls Jesus, asking, is it necessary to wear this in order to help the Orphans, etc.

If the spectators are still at their place, the TC continues. TC finds the machine gun and a box of grenades, he tries to trough them.
One grenade falls in the corridor between the seats with heavy sound, but does not explode.

TC investigates another grenade, and it falls on his foot.
TC (in pain): Oh, Devil!
Mephistopheles appears and mimicking shows, how to activate the grenade.

TC activates and launches some grenades into the public.
Jesus appears in time; with magic movement of his hands, he converts the grenades into the soft toys before they reach the spectators.
TC sees that the grenades fail, and tries the machine gun with horrible sound; some of bullets hit Jesus ; Jesus falls down.
God (appears): Jessy, again? You didn't learn anything! (As a football player, gives the TC strong foot-kick).
TC falls down.
God (looking at Jesus): Stupid bastard!.. (With visible effort, gets Jesus on his shoulder and heavily carries him out) My poor son.. What a devil.. I used to.. Fы... Your mother.. Poor Jessy.. My beloved son...(disappears)
TC (gets up): Oh, God, forgive me!..
Moses (appears): I see, you want to fight both Jesus-mania and Muslims. Are ready for Circumcision? Or, in your case, the amputation is better?
TC (prays): Our Father, who art...
Director (appears; interrupts): Stop! Moses, get out with your carnal allusions! (Call) Jesus! (furiously) You covered all the scene with your stupid blood!
Jesus comes with a can and a rug and begins to wash out the puddle of blood from the scene.
Director: (Calls) Animators! (barking) Immediately pick up all your garbage!
Orphans and Martyrs collect the guns, bras, suicide jackets, underwear, grenades, etc.
Director (continues): Anyway, nobody understands you. They like your tits, your guns and your dirty slang, that's all. Brutal idiots! Get out from here with all your stupid Farce! After such a performance, the believers will hate us! (with low voice) Remember, they count the majority. Do you want to be kicked at a dark street? (Loudly) Where is the author? (barking) While he lives in the society, he has to respect the customs of this society, over-vice I'll help him to move into the best world! He will not deal with a court, but with a funeral agent! Get out! All! Now!..
Director (To the public; change the tone of his voice to the extreme candy): Dear Ladies and Gentlemen. I am deeply sorry for the rudeness of our employees, who did not yet learn to respect the noble senses of our valuable visitors. Please, excuse them for all the absurd you have seen. Please welcome again, I'll force my actors to perform something civilized and politically-correct.

More texts in Vera
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/perdon.shtml Perdon (Spanish version of the same text)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/absolutemoral.shtml About the absolute moral
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/mizugade.shtml Mizugadro's number
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/nihilisttaboo.shtml Nihilist: Taboos
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/philosophy.shtml Philosophy
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/religion.shtml Religion
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/000abc.shtml#e Alphabetic index of Vera
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/002vera.shtml About texts in Vera (in Russian)
Copyleft 1980-2011 by Dmitrii Kouznetsov. This text may be used for free, attribute http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/forgiveness.shtml

 Ваша оценка:

Связаться с программистом сайта.

Новые книги авторов СИ, вышедшие из печати:
О.Болдырева "Крадуш. Чужие души" М.Николаев "Вторжение на Землю"

Как попасть в этoт список

Кожевенное мастерство | Сайт "Художники" | Доска об'явлений "Книги"